MikeFab1

IMDb member since October 2001
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    20 years

Reviews

The X Show
(1999)

What the HECK happened to this show??!!
Like most men I love women. I mean LOOOOOOOVE women. Especially looking at women. And the producers and hosts of this show knew it. So its safe to say that they exploited that fact. Not as "sexist" as most people would have you believe. It was actually very funny and entertaining.

Maybe even a little informative. Sort of like Comedy Central's "The MAN Show", but with more women and info about them. I loved the "Perfect 10" magazine models and those "Mini Pageants" they had once a week. The spokes model thing they did every show was a bit annoying. I can't believe those chicks ACTUALLY thought this show was their big break! What air-heads!! (NOTE: If you are a feminist and you just read what I wrote, you'd agree with me if you've seen just one episode. Those bimbos were air-headed and desparate.) The thing that brought the show down was the fact that they kept changing the hosts. Specifically every few months they'd get rid of one guy and hire a new guy (or in one case a WOMAN).

Some blonde that laughed at everything. Jillian Barbarie had frequant guest appearances (she'd literally do ANYTHING for FOX). Seriously. If Fox asked her to appear in this or host that she'd do it. She admitted this. She was hot, but had a VERY annoying laugh. Another downside was the NEVERENDING Product Placements and advertisements. Every other minute they'd tell you to buy something. At first I thought it was their opinions then it became obvious. They'd tell you to buy ALL these electronic gifts for your girlfriend, wife, some chick that lived in th same dorm as you in college. (LITERALLY). They'd say buy her a boombox and that will get you noticed!! I did however learn from this show. Like the back of a woman's knee is an erogenous zone! I have so much more to say, but will save it for another time.

In Living Color
(1990)

Best skit-comedy since SNL
What can you say about a hilariously funny show that spawned careers for

Jim Carrey, Jennifer Lopez, and countless Wayan's brothers and a sister.

I loved it. I remember watching this show when it first appeared on TV

in April of 1990 and then cancelled in 1994. Occasionally they'll play

re-runs on The FX Network. Thank God for Fox's attempt at Monopoly. Some

skits that were great Dirty Dozens (especially the one with Biz Markie);

Homey D Clown; Men on Film; Firemarshal Bill; Homeboy Shopping Network;

Snuff and Bone (my brother and I still quote those, "I gonna go Milli

Vanilli on your butt! That's when I say I'm ganna kick your butt, but I

get someone more talented to do it for me!") Never gets tired. Then...

ALAS... came the dreaded final season! Where for some reason the Wayan's

family left and the new members of the cast couldn't carry the show.

Afterall how many times could you see that terrible impression of:

"Sandra Burnheart, Baby! And I'm fabulous, Sister!" When exactly did she

EVER say that?? Umm... NEVER! And poor Chris Rock! One of the greatest

stand-ups and SNL alums had a 2-bit part on that show. "Good LORD!

That's a terrible thing to do to a guy! How about we cancel this show

and Chris Rock can move on to better things like an HBO gig!?" That

would have been a great line. By the way. This was the show where I

first got the term: BLACK PERSON SHOW. It came from a David Alan Grier

sketch called, "Black Person Show." It was a running gag the last year

or 2 of the show. East Hollywood Squares; Circus f the BLACK stars;

BLACK person awards (was that supposed to be Gary Coleman??), Miss BLACK

America Pageant. As you can see the writers were sometimes OVER-paid.

But it will always remain a hi

The Wayans Bros.
(1995)

Very funny show!
This was one of the first of what I call Average African-American Shows.

(See my review of One On One for more details) It's basically a show not

on the Top 4 networks that is mostly made up of African American actors.

The thing that makes these shows different from shows like The Cosby

Show, Jeffersons, Good Times, etc... is that they aren't exactly

supposed to appeal to White America. In fact they appeal to a more Urban

audience. I guess that's why I liked this show so much. There's

something about a show that doesn't try to appeal to the majority that

helps make it funnier and cutting-edge. Much like their previous show,

In Living Colour, Marlon and Shawn show they have what it takes to make

young audiences laugh. My brother and I especially love the beginning

theme song: "We're brothers. We're happy and we're singing and we're

colored. Give me a HIGH-FIVE!" Then they help an old lady get run over

by a bus which they somehow got on. HILARIOUS!! Another incident my

brother and I love is the episode where their father says he's going to

stand up to their mother. The next day he shows up with his suitcases at

their apartment and he says he told their mother everything he wanted to

tell her. They Wayans brothers then ask what happened next. The father

replies, "I don't know. When I came to some stranger was helping me on

the bus." I LOVED IT! Too bad it was cancelled so darn ear

One on One
(2001)

Great to see high-quality Afro-American TV
First off, let me point out that I am a white male who grew up in East-Cambridge, MA. It was a very multicultural neighborhood. SO as you can imagine I had plenty of multcultural friends. As a child I loved to watch shows like The Jeffersons, Good Times, Cosby Show, In Living Colour, etc. These were all good shows. But some were criticized becuase they were too stereotypical and oddly some were criticized for not being "accurate" enough. Such as the Cosby Show. I used to ask my friends why can't people make up their minds? Do they want Black people portrayed as ghetto gang bangers in movies like South Central or like high society annunciaters (white people in black people's bodies) like the Cosby Show? They usually looked at me and laughed. After all how do you answer such a Sociological-Philosophical question. Well, anyways, then in the mid-90's came the WB and UPN networks. At first their shows stunk like FOX did in the late 80's and most of the 90's. And then they found their audience! Young people in Urban areas. My kind of neighborhood. At first I jokingly called them "Average Black People Shows". But that sounded ambiguously racist so now I say A.B.P.S. LOL!! They're basically Shows Like Moesha, Parkers, Sisters, which starred Brandy and Diana Ross's daughter (name escapes me). And several others which names I forgot, but they starred Robin Givens, Alfonsa Rivera, Malcolm Jamal Warner, and other African Americans from TOP NBC, CBS, and ABC shows from the 80's and 90's. At first it was GREAT to see them working again, but then it got weird. After all some of the shows still stunk. Mostly the writing and obvious cheap budgets. I mean just look at Homeboys in Outer Space!! Although, I liked others such as the Parent Hood which should STILL be on the air today!! I guess what I am trying to say is I like One on One. It is a good show. It is one of many of those A.B.P.S.'s that are on the air today on the WB and UPN early in the week. Both networks have improved ALOT these past 2 or 3 years and so have their programming, writing, budget and actors are great. Keep up the good work Flex and never do anything like Homeboys in outer space again!! It wasn't

Totem
(1999)

True. This movie is aweful!!
I must agree with everyone else. I too was at a local Blockbuster in

Allston/Brighton (for those of you from the Boston area; it's the one

that's now falling apart on Western Ave not the nice one in Cleveland

Circle) and I came across one of the many straight-to-video movies they

had. This one caught my eye because of the intruiging title. Totem. Must

be about Native Americans getting back what's theirs! Plus the cute

chick on the cover is a nice touch. I watched it and it almost made me

puke. How very, very sad that this was made! "Those poor actors will

never make a decent movie ever in their young careers," I thought. How

did those teens even get to that cabin? The last girl that got there

said she was in class about to take a test or something. Why didn't

anyone stop her as she left class... or ran down the street... and

across the highway??? You'd think somebody would have grabbed them and

said, "I'm not letting you go until you tell me why you are running to

some cabin in the woods in your underwear, Mister!" Why THESE teens?

ALAS, that will never get answered. Go see a nice non-straight-to-

Crossroads
(2002)

It was almost as bad as I thought it would be
**SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** I finally got around to seeing my brother's copy of Crossroads. I wanted

to see if it was as bad as all the reviews indicated. And to see those

underwear scenes. (Why do you think so many teenagers saw the movie

anyways?) Well, sure enough there were those 2 scenes in the first 10

minutes of the film. It seemed to be rushed early on. Then it got kind

of slow in the middle. I couldn't believe Dan Aykroyd was in this film;

and in such an un-funny role!! $$$SPOILERS$$$ That fight scene with the

pregnant chick and the conceeded chick was odd. Even more odd was the

karaoke/bar scene. I thought the pregnant girl wanted to be a singer.

She totally wimped out. What a SURPRISE that Britney took over. She

should have tried harder to sing like her character than... well...

Britney! The only good (realistic) scene was when they were at the hotel

and eating cakes and junk while talking about worsed experiences. Just

like a slumber party. Then it went down hill. Britney met her mom and

didn't get what she expected. The conceeded girl didn't get what she

expected in what had to have been a somewhat predictable and corny

scene. The only time I actually felt SOMETHING for the characters was

when Mimi (pregnant chick) was in the hospital. I ACTUALLY felt bad!

Then it got bad again. The scene where Britney's dad tries to take her

home was corny and ridiculous. Oh and don't even ask about the

lossing-virginity scene so many have talked about. Somewhere there's a

nerd (beginning of film) that should have persisted more. Poor guy. And

why did she pick the second guy you ask? Who knows?! WHO CARES??!! This

movie was made to promote Britney Spears. The ending was aweful. Once

again the pregnant chick wimps out! And guess who takes over. The ended

sort of implied the movie was about Britney ONLY. The other 2 girls were

mere pawns/deekoys/enomolies/ things that took up space while the chick

with the torso sings crappier songs

Crossroads
(2002)

It was almost as bad as I thought it would be
**SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** I finally got around to seeing my brother's copy of Crossroads. I wanted

to see if it was as bad as all the reviews indicated. And to see those

underwear scenes. (Why do you think so many teenagers saw the movie

anyways?) Well, sure enough there were those 2 scenes in the first 10

minutes of the film. It seemed to be rushed early on. Then it got kind

of slow in the middle. I couldn't believe Dan Aykroyd was in this film;

and in such an un-funny role!! $$$SPOILERS$$$ That fight scene with the

pregnant chick and the conceeded chick was odd. Even more odd was the

karaoke/bar scene. I thought the pregnant girl wanted to be a singer.

She totally wimped out. What a SURPRISE that Britney took over. She

should have tried harder to sing like her character than... well...

Britney! The only good (realistic) scene was when they were at the hotel

and eating cakes and junk while talking about worsed experiences. Just

like a slumber party. Then it went down hill. Britney met her mom and

didn't get what she expected. The conceeded girl didn't get what she

expected in what had to have been a somewhat predictable and corny

scene. The only time I actually felt SOMETHING for the characters was

when Mimi (pregnant chick) was in the hospital. I ACTUALLY felt bad!

Then it got bad again. The scene where Britney's dad tries to take her

home was corny and ridiculous. Oh and don't even ask about the

lossing-virginity scene so many have talked about. Somewhere there's a

nerd (beginning of film) that should have persisted more. Poor guy. And

why did she pick the second guy you ask? Who knows?! WHO CARES??!! This

movie was made to promote Britney Spears. The ending was aweful. Once

again the pregnant chick wimps out! And guess who takes over. The ended

sort of implied the movie was about Britney ONLY. The other 2 girls were

mere pawns/deekoys/enomolies/ things that took up space while the chick

with the torso sings crappier songs

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
(1996)

Waynes Brothers are funny, but disappointing
Waynes Brothers are usually very HILARIOUS!! I loved In Living Color

growing up. It was sad to see it cancelled after just 4 1/2 years. But

now the Waynes Brothers could branch out and make movies.

This movie had SO much potential, but fell short. Let me explain. In the

early 90's Gangsta Rap was on the rise and becoming more and more

popular. With Gangsta rap came movies about growing up in the hood

starring some of those rappers. Movies like BoyZ In Da Hood, Juice,

Higher Learning, Menace II Society and other graced the silver screan

prompting gang violence all over the country. It was time to parady

these films.

The problem with this movie was NOT the fact that it wasn't funny. It

had it's moments like Marlen's hair throughout the film (Flava Flav's

younger brother look); the guy shooting people in the Korean Store

trying to frame black people; chick with all those kids. The problem was

that it was clear the film would appeal to younger audiences. Although

it had a NC17 feel to it at times. Like that party in the back yard

scene where a guy and girl are naked and getting it on. The moment I saw

that I knew that little kids (the target audience) wouldn't be allowed

to see this movie in theaters. Thus making it a bomb at the box office.

This movie should have known better. It wasn't meant for gang members to

see and laugh at there mishaps, but for those teenage and preteen

gangsta-wannabees that live

Robot Monster
(1953)

A PIECE OF TRASH!!
What a complete stinker! I have no idea how this movie got knocked off

the Top 100 worse movies list here on IMDB.com. (The Bottom 100).

Because it's the epidemie of bad cinema. I actually purchased this on

Ebay, along with a few other movies, hoping to laugh my butt off.

Well... I never laughed once. I was bored stupid. NOTHING made sense!!

What's the deal with the lizards/dinosaurs fighting? How did the family

know about that gorilla-suit guy? Why was the acting that bad?? I

checked the "GOOFS" section of this movie and couldn't figure out why

there were only 4 errors. What about that scene where RO-dude briefly

looks towards the camera and says to himself, "Wait! Maybe I can get the

girl." His voice changed and didn't sound robot-like. There had to be

other mistakes. After all look at how many Casablanca and Gone With the

Wind have. Even Citizen Kane had a few. And I'm to believe that this

movie had minimal "goofs". COME ON! Please keep voting "1's" so this

movie may pass M

The Seductress
(2000)

Even by Erotic B-movie standards this stinks!!
First of all let me tell you that I'm not a pervert. Merely a regular guy that sees a movie cover and says, "WOW! I gotta see this." I was working (more like "helping" out) at a video store when I decided to rent this. The 2 ladies on the cover were HOT and in one picture on the back they were wearing bikinis and in a pool. WELL... NOT ONLY did that scene NOT appear in the movie, but the plot was STUPID!! Keep in mind, EVEN BY EROTIC STRAIGHT-TO-VIDEO standards. It's about a female serial killer that marries guys and kills them. For some reason this other woman is obsessed with newspaper articles about the serial chick. Well one day they happened to meet and... let me just get to the end. It turns out the 2 women were sisters!! No, not long lost sisters. Rather sisters both on the run for killing people when they were teens. Now for some reason they acted like they NEVER, EVER, EVER MET BEFORE IN THEIR LIVES!! What the FUDGE??!! Even as a porno this would make you say, "HUH!" There are other odd moments like the ending (which was totally rushed). YOU CALL THAT A POLICE STATION!! The serial chick, which also appears in Zorrita (where she looks somewhat hot), looks like a MAN who had a sex change in this one. The other woman is hot atleast. Oh and about that back cover. When I finally read it, it actually GAVE AWAY THE ENDING!! How odd?! The actual "shocking" ending these types of movies claim to have. Wonder why I didn't read it before. No wonder that pool picture was there. After I returned the movie someone told me I should have just rented porn. How true.

Manos: The Hands of Fate
(1966)

Not the worced, but close.
So many things wrong with this film. Acting, editing, plot, beginning, middle, ending. Even Joel appeared completely disgusted (more-so than usual) when during this one scene in the beginning the family gets stopped by a cop for some reason and the SAME GUY dubs ALL the voices!! "Unbelievable," he says. That was a sign of things to come like the couple making out for 2 or 3 days; cops that always appear to be on duty; dude with the big knees; chicks wrestling (not as good of a scene as it sounds); and what's with that weird music?! Joel and the bots do a great job making this movie entertaining to watch. One of the best episodes of MST3K. Be on the lookout for a cameo from Mike Nelson doing an impression of that dude with the knees. Why would you wanna watch the uncut original??

The Creeping Terror
(1964)

Why did they add a narrator??!!
My God did this movie SUCK!!! Besides everything that could possibly go wrong in a movie, the one thing that REALLY went wrong was the editing. Specifically the adding of that narrator. It was obvious that after the filming of this garbage of a movie the director (or some other idiot) decided to add a narrator throughout most of the movie to TALK OVER key dialogue and explain little inane things in the plot that never came up again. Like how he explain that the couple in the car in the beginning of the movie just got married. SO?? And how later on when they were at home and one of the guy's best buds came over to hang out the narrator spoke over the entire scene to tell us the friend was jealous or something about not understanding why his bud got married. WHY?? I ask you WHY??? It's not like it mattered. Didn't help the plot at all. And worced of all at the end the narrator had to carefully explain what a scientist found out about the aliens (which looked poorly made and were very slow and awkword). Not to say that even without the excessive narrating this movie would have been great. It still would've sucked!! But atleast you could listed to it and not have some guy talking over your shoulder like a now-it-all. This was one of the few Mystery Science Theater movies that even with the bots and company it was STILL a BAD movie!!!

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