TheyKilledTheGiggler

Okay before I give you my review I must tell you my little story. The movie theater I saw "Bad Santa" at had a showing gap of 12:30 to 3:05. My friend and I missed an exit to the theater and got stuck in traffic disabling us from seeing the 12:30 showing. So we get to the theater around 1:10 and had to hang out in the theater for nearly 2 hours. (there were arcades but they all sucked) So I told my friend "this movie better be good after all the time we've been waiting here!" So after killing some time it was finally about time for the movie to start. (well coming attractions actually) After picking out which movies looked good from the many trailers, the movie finally started. So was it worth the long wait? HELL YES IT WAS!!! Bad Santa rocks!

Synopsis (MINOR SPOILERS)

The film stars Billy Bob Thorton and Tony Cox as a couple of con-men. Willie (Thorton) and Marcus (Cox) take jobs as Santa and his elf at malls every holiday season and rob the places blind before packing up and parting ways until the next year. During their latest job at a new mall the duo encounter a mall security guard (Bernie Mac) who becomes wise to them and wants in on their score. Also Willie meets two important people in his life. A Bartender named Sue (Lauren Graham) who has a sexual fetish for Santa Claus and a precious yet pathetic child (Brett Kelly) with an hillarious name, I won't say it because it's hillarious when you find out. Willie continues seeing Sue and "moves in" with the kid all the while fighting with his partner Marcus, who has become increasingly p***ed off by Willie's drunken behavior. Everything boils down to an exciting and unexpected climax.

My Review: (Some Spoilers)

Bad Santa is hillarious. Nuff' said! Dark Comedies are always the best kind. To me, nothing is funnier than a drunken sex-addicted mall Santa yelling at little kids and saying "naughty stuff" and who's partner is a fouled-mouth black midget. That is all that was needed to pull me into this movie. Add in Bernie Mac and the late great John Ritter (RIP)and you have instant comedy success! Every character plays their role perfectly. Seriously! The casting is genius. After seeing John Ritter as a mall owner who just wants to keep everything "PG" It really made me miss that man, he's a comic genius. I laughed uncontrollably everytime he told Bernie Mac why he had a problem with the new Santa. Anyways like I was saying, this movie is just flat out funny. The TV spots made it look really funny, but let me tell ya almost every scene in the TV spots is edited and they are 10 times more hillarious in the actual movie. I could probably go on and on about how great this movie is but you should already know. I think we need more Holiday comedies like Bad Santa and A Christmas Story. Enough of this Home Alone "family is the truest gift of all" crap. We need more movies where things don't turn out as expected, where people only care about presents, and where nothing is off limits. Bad Santa and A Christmas Story live up to those guidelines. Nobody wants to see losers who are just happy to be with their families on Christmas, we (or at least just me) want to see Santa banging chics in the big and tall dressing room, Santa kicking the S*it out of a plastic reindeer as children look on with fear in their eyes, and Santa telling an 8 yr old he's not living with Mrs. Claus because he got caught screwing his sister!

10/10 SEE IT NOW!!!!

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, and Carrie-Anne Moss. Directed and Written By The Wachowski Brothers *****/*****

In this brilliant follow up to the 1999 hit "The Matrix" Keanu Reeves reprises his role as the Computer-Hacker hero who is the only chance to save the last real city Zion. Picking up shortly where the 1st film left off Neo and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) are heavily in love and a long with prophetic mastermind Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) must save the city of Zion from thousands of machines invading and destroying the city. In this film you learn a deeper meaning of what the matrix really is and more is uncovered.

Overall the film packs a punch full of explosives with it's dazzling special effects and fight scenes. Even though the now famous "bullet time" has been parodied in countless films and even commercials, it still remains fresh and even better in The Matrix Reloaded. As for the sroryline I loved it. Many things that go unanswered in the The Matrix are answered in The Matrix Reloaded. Many scenes may leave you questioning different theories of what the matrix may really be. Certain points in the film leave you feeling like you know what's going to happen but then suprises you. The performances were all great. Keanu Reeves' character Neo is probably the most well-fitting character he has played since Ted from Bill and Ted.

In the end The Matrix Reloaded is a state of the art action flick with a good story to back it up. The movie leaves you in suspense with an unexpected ending and leaves you in excited to see The Matrix Revolutions.

Overall: *****/*****...10/10(imdb)

I recently saw the long delayed Rob Zombie film House of 1000 Corpses a day after it opened and boy was it something. First off critics bashed this film and secondly many people probably didn't get the set up and style of the film. To really enjoy this film it helps to be a fan of Rob Zombie's music. I've been a big fan of Rob Zombie's music since he was apart of White Zombie and I also enjoy his crazy artwork. Rob Zombie's artwork is something straight from a horror show on acid. For those of you who either don't know or don't remember Rob Zombie did the artwork to the hallucination scene in Beavis and Butthead Do America. So anyways, like many have been saying, it really helps to be a Rob Zombie fan to understand and enjoy this movie to the fullest but even if your not you might still enjoy this campy throwback grindhouse style horror film. So what did I think of it? I loved this movie. The whole film played like a tour of Rob Zombie's mind and included some awesome effects and slick visuals. There are many horror veterans in this film including Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding, a clown who runs a spookshow gas station (with free complementary chicken) and Karen Black as Mother Firefly (the mother of a house of crazies) The film also features Bill Mosely (as Otis) once again playing a ghoulish character. The plot circles around a group of 2 guys 2 girls who stop at Captain Spauldings to get gas. While there they check out Captain Spauldings little horror show and attractions inside including a "Death Ride" profiling different maniacs/killers. One of the legends is that of a sadistic Doctor named "Dr. Satan" Eager to find out whether or not the legend is true or not the group is given a map and while on the road run into a hitch-hiker named Ms. Bunny (Sheri Moon) who leads them to her house which as you can tell from the title is a bad move. The film is very much like a mix of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Motel Hell but also adds a mix of exploitation humor and is given a campy throwback feel. The whole film is a fun experience and a rollocoster ride full of scenes that can make many jump at times. The movie was a tad bit different from what I was expecting but not by much. The film still delivered what I would expect from Rob Zombie and I am hoping there is a sequel. Overall a very fun movie, but for a selected audience ****/****

This movie was horrible and is one of the worst movies ever however when this was made fun of in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 i was laughing so hard. The bots knew exactly what to say about this cheap piece of crap and they ripped this movie apart perfectly...The movie gets 0/10 while the MST3K Episode gets 10/10

This is another one of those horrible horrible movies that are only good if you watch it on Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you watch this movie without seeing it on MST3K and listening to the bots rip it apart then you are in big trouble my friend. The movie is a lame excuse for a monster movie. Complete with cheesy (and i mean really cheesy)special FX, horibble acting, and ridiculous plot line. You have to wonder if some of these movies were made intentionally for MST3K because it is so horribly bad that it makes you wonder how the directors sleep at night.

I'm sick and tired of reading some uneeded negative reviews for this great animated kids movie. I'm 16 and I loved this movie. What's not to love? kick a$$ animation, funny moments, lovable characters, and most of all a PG kids movie that EVEN I liked (and i usually dislike these type of movies) First off Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, and Dennis Leary all do great voice-overs that fit their characters well and the film is just overall a fun movie to watch. So all I got to say to you "cynical masterminds" is shut up and have fun watching this film....and oh yeah this movie is very "cool" (get it....cool????.....I am so harsh!)

Perhaps one of the greatest films ever made, Reservoir Dogs is a relentless and fierce film from beginning to end. Director/Writer/Actor Quentin Tarantino directs and screenwrites this film about a group of criminals put together to pull off a diamond heist. The simple heist goes horribly wrong leaving a huge mess for the criminals to sort out. In the middle of the main plot the film also tells about each character and their aliases. (which are based on colors) The film stars: Harvey Keitel as Mr. White, Steve Buscemi as Mr. Pink, Tim Roth as Mr. Orange, Michael Madsen as Mr. Blonde, Chris Penn as Nice Guy Eddie, Lawrence Tierney as Joe Cabot, and the voice of Steven Wright as the hillarious DJ K Billy. All of the acting in this film is far past excellent. Mr favorite actor in this film has got to be Steve Buscemi, who turns in an excellent performance as "The Professional" criminal and cynical Mr. Pink. On screen the film contains many shocking visuals including the infamous "ear" scene played to the song "Stuck In the Middle With You." Throughout the film all of the criminals are trying to figure out which, if any of the members is an undercover cop because it seems like they were set up. I won't give way any more details but all i have to say is that this film is revolutionary and paved the way for the visonary Quentin Tarantino who would release his greatest accomplisment in 1994 with Pulp Fiction. Buy this movie right now (get the special edition 10 year anniversary DVD) and enjoy one hell of a ride!

I am kind of in shock from the negative comments about this hilariously well done film. Anyone who did not laugh during this film definitely has something shoved up their you-know-what. I loved this movie and I will soon be buying it on DVD. The Broken Lizard comedy troupe did a great job with this movie. The film is essentially about a group highway patrollers who spend more time playing games and tricks on drivers then issuing tickets or arresting them. Throughout the film they pull off hilarious tricks and attempt to freak out the drivers. This movie is easily one of the funniest of all time and is an instant comedy classic. OVERALL: 10/10 (Broken Lizard Rules!!!)

Although this movie was no gem it wasn't a complete waste of time. The whole movie centers around Ryan Dunne (Freddie Prinze Jr.) who is a pitcher dreming of making the big leagues. During the summer Ryan plays for the Chatham A's (a minor league baseball team) and hopes to do his best in front of scouts). There are some pretty good parts in the movie but unfortunately the entire love mess between Prinze and his rich neighbor Jessica Biel is extremely annoying and drags the movie down. The best performance in the movie in my opinion) was frm Gabriel Mann who played one of Prinze's friends. Matthew liliard is also pretty good but Freddy gives a pretty poor performance. While there are some good moments in Summer Catch, There are also some very bad and poor ones. In the end Summer Catch hits a double to left field...however the runner is left stranded at 2nd (sorry for the baseball analogy) OVERALL: 5/10

I recently saw this movie on FLIX (a movie channel)and I loved it. The Burning became an instant classic for me. The story was plain and simple but a great one at that. A couple of campers at Camp Blackfoot are fed up with the mean and disfigured caretaker, Cropsy. They decide to play a prank on him to scare the living hell out of him, however the prank goes horribly wrong and Cropsy is burned to a crisp. Cropsy is then sent to a hospital and 5 years later is released back into the world as a burned and gloppy mess. After a visit with a prostitute (who gets brutally murdered) Cropsy returns to a new camp called Camp Stonewater where the bloodfest begins. The cast is your normal Teen-Slasher type cast. A group of horny, obnoxious teens including the "weird kid" Alfred. There is however a suprise appearance from a younger Jason Alexander (best known as George from Seinfeld) who provides some comic relief in a good performance. Throughout the film there are many "make you jump" scares with a terrific score by Rick Wakeman and great make-up effects by none other than Tom Savini. Although many will discard this rare gem as typical Slasher-Flick I disagree. Unlike many Slashers (Friday the 13th, Slumber Party Massacre, April Fool's Day, Prom Night, etc etc.) The Burning offers some good scares and is pretty tense throughout the entire film. Also this film is a lot more gorrier than a lot of Slasher-Flicks (including one scene where an entire raft full of campers are sliced and diced in full bloody detail by Cropsy with some garden shears). When this movie was shown on FLIX it was completely uncut and very gory. Something told me this movie was going to be great so I taped it and I'm glad I did because this movie is awesome. I recommend this film to anyone who loves Horror/Slasher/Gory/Scary/Creepy movies. This is a great film to add to your horror collection and a rare gem in film history. OVERALL: 10/10 (Cropsy Rules!!!)

All I have to say is that "Jason Goes To Hell" ruined he Friday series (story wise) and should never had been made. Nothing from the last sequel is explained and Jason is not even in the movie through most of it. Complete trash. OVERALL: 2/10 (2 because the ending)

Friday the 13th Part VIII was pretty good (not the acting and plot) but overall Jason kicks a$$ and takes names in this entry into the series. Although the title is kind of a rip off because Jason does not wind up in New York until the final segment. Most of the film takes place on a boat where students are celebrating their graduation with a trip to the big apple. Too bad Jason ruins it for them. Pretty good kills and lots of laughs. Overall: 8/10

Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood was one of the best in the series. Funny as hell, Entertaining, and overall a good film. The classic "sleeping bag" scene is priceless and Jason is unmasked to reveal a hideous disfigured face like no other. GREAT STUFF!!! OVERALL: 9/10

Part 6 in the series was pretty good and it has Thom Mathews in it (who is awesome in Return of the Living Dead)This is the 1st Friday film in which Jason is a supernatural zombie and nothing seems to affect him. Part 6 is a lot better than most sequels in the series. This Friday film actually as some OK acting in it and has some god scares. Sit back and enjoy OVERALL: 8/10

One of the greatest horror films of all time (in my opinion) has been pretty rare to find but now it is returning. With a DVD due out August 27th ROTLD is also being shown regularly on Showtime Beyond (good news for people with digital cable)and I am so happy because I think this movie will be a real treat for anyone who likes good horror films. This hard to find film is awesome and has everything that makes movies great.

Part 5 of the series was pretty good even though Jason was not really in it. The movie is pretty funny and has some of the best kills in the Friday series. Jason returns in an awesome part 6. OVERALL: 6/10

A pretty good yet predictable Jason flick. Nothing big but it introduces Tommy Jarvis who would become the main character in parts 5 and 6. Some pretty good stuff. OVERALL: 7.5/10

While it almost seems the same as 1&2 Friday the 13th part 3 is a step up and Jason gets the famous Hockey Mask. Pretty funny moments. Some scares. Bad acting. Great Ending. Overall part 3 was nothing spectacular but still good. OVERALL: 7/10

Friday the 13th part 2 marked the beginning of one of the most well known and popular horror movie characters...JASON VORHEES!!! Although something isn't right...WHERE'S THE MASK??? Not to worry Jason would gain the well known hockey mask in part 3 but for now he wears a pillow case. Jason sure came a long way from a guy in a pillow case to a demonic monster with a hockey mask. I thought this was better than part 1. You don't even need to see part 1 to know where the story left off because in the beginning it flashes back to every scene in the first movie. Better than part 1 but still not great. OVERALL: 6.5/10

Friday the 13th was the 1st of Ten installments in the popular horror franchise. Although it holds a somewhat special place in a lot of horror movie fans' hearts it is certainly not the best. The movie is kind of boring at times and the whole "never see the killer until the end" formula is one that I do not really care for. However this is themovie responsible for spawning 9 sequals so I gie it a lot of credit. Hailed as one of the 1st slasher flicks (if you don't count halloween which I don't consider a slasher flick) Friday the 13th will always be known as a cult classic that began one of the longest running horror franchises of all time OVERALL: 6/10 (originally 5 but added a point because of it's importance)

Before I rented Kung Pow: Enter The Fist I had no idea what it was really about. I rented it thinking it was just a modern day spoof on the "kung fu" movies of the 70's. What I didnt know was that the movie was actually an old film from 1976 called "Savage Killers" and Steve Oedekerk just digitally placed himself in the film, added a few special effects scenes, erased the entire soundtrack from the original film, and dubbed everyone of the character's voices (including his own). I think the idea alone for this movie is something many people (including myself) would love to do I mean it would be pretty fun. However the real question was the "movie" really worth the money? Yes and No. If you are a big fan of Kung-Fu type movies you will probably love this movie and understand a lot of the jokes. Also anyone who just likes mindless comedies (a la Freddy Got Fingered) you will also love this film. All other people will probably despise this movie and wish it was never made. As for me I didn't think it was that bad. Don't get me wrong this is in no way a film that will ever make it to the IMDb Top 250 and it won't be getting any awards either (except maybe a razzie. However the idea behind the film is basically clever and funny and there are some pretty humorous scenes. The biggest flaw in the film is the "OverDubbing" after a while the character dubbing and voices became very annoying (especially the girl)however the film is not very long at a mere 80 mins and it's good that it's a short film otherwise all the jokes would be killed due to be played out. Overall the film was not great but not horribly bad either. For people who really hated this movie and had no idea why it was the way it was you should watch it with the commentary track on the dvd which explains everything in the film, there is also an alternate audio track in which it tells what the people were really saying (which I found hilarious). So like I said this movie is really for a select few. OVERALL 6/10 (originally a 5 but the idea of the film deserved an extra point)

I left the theaters back in April in complete amazement in how good Jason X was. I know I know Jason X is not an oscar worthy film nor is it part of the top 250 but it was still entertaining as hell. Being a big fan of the "Friday" franchise I found Jason X to be a great entry into the long running series. The film is not really scary at all but it is action packed and very entertaining. I can't wait until it comes out on DVD!!! OVERALL: 8/10

I saw Resident Evil when it first came out in theaters but I just now got around to reviewing it and I just have to say that while I thought the film played out as a good action flick it failed in the zombie department. As an action film the movie delivers lots of highly entertaining action scenes and is not boring at all. When it comes to a zombie film however I was dissapointed. Non of he zombies were scary and none were original. I thought the film could've done a little better job explaining the story also. However I still overall like the film and it's a pretty good adaption of the game...can't wait for the sequel!!! OVERALL 6/10

The Shining is one of my top 10 favorite horror films of all time for many reasons. One reason that is very clear is Jack Nicholson's performance as Jack. Stanley Kubrick (who happens to be one of my favorite directors) does a great job with making the movie scary as hell. Although many will complain that the movie is a lot different from Steven King's book (and it is) it is still a great movie and that shouldn't bring it down. The Shining is unlike most horror movies. It relies on images for frights and the formula works good. The blood in the elevator, the twins' ghosts, and all the different images of ghosts of the overlook hotel give the movie an intense feel. Overall The Shining keeps the viewer glued to the screen and delivers images and psychological thrills like no other. OVERALL: 10/10

Porky's, the 1981 hit about hormone raging teenagers in 1950's Florida is a hillarious film from start to finish and is a rare gem in comedy history. Considered by many (including me) as the original "American Pie" this film has many hillarious moments ranging from the infamous "shower scene" to Pee-Wee and his desperate quest to lose his virginity and the equally hillarious outcomes. If I was to pick the best comedy about teenagers and sex it's a no brainer that I would pick Porky's over American Pie anyday. The reason I would pick Porky's is because it is just a hell of a lot funnier than American Pie and has a lot more substance. I recently was able to purchase this great film at Blockbuster for only $9.99 on DVD and I was happy I was able to find it. Overall this is a film you can watch repetedly and it still remains to be funny. OVERALL: 10/10