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Reviews

Blessed
(2004)

it is imperative that you see "Rosemary's Baby" to understand this
Let me just start this saying that it is an almost shot-for-shot remake of "Rosemary's Baby" with a few added twists. The newcomers to the film are: fertility clinics, hooded killers, and twin girls. Fortunately, most of it remains the same. There are anagrams, the one who can help her dies, her husband spends a lot of time with a man who helps the coven, and stuff like that. The ending is a little tweaked, though- think "The Astronaut's Wife"'s ending (which in itself WAS a shot-for-shot remake of the original). I recommend this, but only if you've seen the original. Several things happen that are unexplained and were only explained in the original. This movie is pretty creepy, and the main character is sympathetic. I have no clue as to why the original title was "Samantha's Child", as she is pregnant with twins. But that's straying far off the point of a review. I think either watch this one then "Rosemary's Baby" or vice versa. The original is unbeatable, and this one is- well, I've seen better, but this is not bad for being straight-to-video at all. If you want bad straight-to-video stillborn babies, try "666". This one is pretty creepy, with very convincing acting but a far-fetched plot. Satan's plasma is contained in a silver whiskey flask inside of a frozen ring-case in a fertility clinic, and some certain people just know that out of nowhere? THAT'S one thing not explained whether or not you actually SEE the original. Still watch this one and have a fun time, or be a snotty reviewer and say it's not worthy at all (Do I hear Ebert?!).

Shurayukihime
(1973)

great
This is one of my all-time favorite movies. The plot isn't hard to follow: A woman named Sayo had a husband and son who were murdered by a yakuza group, so she killed one and was arrested. She became a hooker in jail and got pregnant, then died at childbirth. But she left a prophecy behind for her daughter, Yuki- that when she is older, she shall avenge her family.

And she does just that.

This is a great piece of film-making. It does, however, suffer from the signature Japanese orange blood-spraying in the 70's and 80's. The character development is there and everything. She is a pretty good swordswoman. She proved that in this and its two sequels. From the ending, you would think she was killed. However, she is alive and well (sort-of well) in the second one and in the third one, reincarnated, so she's fine in that too. I give this a 9.2 out of 10. See this and the sequels. I recommend all three in a row, because they are great and you may like them, depending on your taste of film. You ought to know what type this is- exploitation and action and spraying blood.

Shurayukihime: Urami koiuta
(1974)

not a bad sequel - SPOILERS
The movie almost sucks, in a way. The whole thing is a bit far-fetched. The very idea of a tiny girl with an equally tiny carving knife beating huge male samurais is pretty silly, and this one goes all-out with that. She gets shot like fifteen times and it never really seems to affect her.

SPOILERS: We previously left Yuki when she was stabbed and thrown into the snow, bleeding almost to death. This time, we find her the next day in a blood-splattered kimono, holding her tiny knife (which always gets lost and turns back up), in her parents' graveyard. All of a sudden, some thugs try to kill her and she slices them to bits. Not long afterwards, she limps into the yard of a cop's house and gets arrested. The CIA helps her escape and she helps destroy some evil people. Then she kills her boyfriend. THE END.

The time period here is totally screwed. It supposedly picks up where the last one ended, but it takes place in a time period nearly seven years after the first one (!). I recommend this if you like the first one, but the third one (The Princess Blade) is one that I recommend even more. It's great.

4/10

Misery
(1990)

freaky
Let me start with saying this- you can neevr go wrong with Stephen King. All of his books are great. I know this when I've only read two of them- "Misery" and "Carrie". My mother has read just about all of them, and she loves them all. This is almost identical to the book, therefore, it is a great film. We start with a writer, Paul Sheldon. He is on his way home when he is in a massive car wreck. An obsessed fan, Annie Wilkes (Bates) abducts him from the totaled car and begins to nurse him back to health. After discovering that she is a serial killer, he gets in a wheelchair and picks the lock, escaping while she is gone. He has killed off her favorite character, Misey, in his latest book, so she makes him burn a book that he has finished and has yet to be published. She has him write a new sequel, where Misery is resurrected. He knocks down a statue, and puts it back up. When she arrives and finds out that he is trying to escape, she ties him down and takes an axe to his ankles, shattering the bones. This is the most famous scene in the film. Anyway, he begins to plan her demise and his escape, through the new book that he is writing. I highly recommend this film to anyone looking for a great watch. Look out for some of her shocking but hilarious lines:

Paul: Profanity offends you? Annie: It has no nobility. Paul: They're slum kids. I was a slum kid, they all talk like that. Annie: THEY DO NOT!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK I SAY WHEN I GO TO THE STORE? HEY WALLY, GET ME SOME OF THAT EFFING PIG FEED AND SOME OF THAT BITCHLY COW CORN! AND WHEN I GO TO THE BANK? YEAH, SUE- HERE'S ONE BIG BASTARD OF A CHECK, GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR CHRISTING MONEY... LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hilarious.

Carrie
(2002)

Carrie's third time
Carrie was originally a nerdy girl who was tormented over and over. Next, she was a goth who was videotaped having sex. This time, she's an epileptic girl struggling with life as a whole. Instead of doing a third one, the people decided to do something that people would rather see- remake the original loosely and transform it into a polished version of the book. While I do love the original, this one is closer to the book. There are a mere three things that I hated- the ending was stupid and Patricia Clarkson was too toned down for the role. They should have gone with a direct clone of Piper Laurie's flawless version of the character. Also, th pig blood dumping scene sucked this time. Ironically, all of the original's blonde characters are brunette here, and vice versa. The ending sort of copied the graveyard sequence at the end of the first one, but isn't as scary. But as a whole, this third in a blooming series was quite good and worth a few watches.

Shurayukihime
(2001)

can't decide what it wants to be.
Based on "Lady Snowblood". Sort of a prequel, sequel, and remake at once. It is a good film in the end. Hoowever, some of th plots are just not explained and make us wonder why they were even thrown in. What was with that farmboy? Anyway, it takes place far in the future. We find Yuki (who was previously left somewhere in the Meji Restoration killing her smallpox-infected boyfriend with a short sword) in a group of samurai assassins, still a beautiful young woman. At twenty, she discovers that her employer was the one who led the brutal attack on her royal parents and made the purpose of her birth. She tries to kill him, but he is too powerful, and she runs out to a farm and meets a farmboy. He has a strange, mute sister and a past involving terrorism or something like that. Before long, the assassins start coming, so she must destroy them and finalize the revenge that she started in the previous two films. I recommend this. On first viewing, I hated it. On second, I loved it. Avoid the dubbed version, it is horrible. My complaints are the plot holes and her screams whenever she runs that really get quite irritating after a while. Still- 3 1/2 out of 5.

Seed of Chucky
(2004)

for fans of Chucky, like me!
"Bride of Chucky" was a twisted and wild ride, taking place mainly in a van on the road. The climax took place inside of a grave, where Tiffany, the titular character of that film gave birth. Now comes "Seed of Chucky", the fifth go for Chucky. We open six years later. The offspring, Sh*tface, is a carnie who has nightmares of killing people. He isn't like that at all. He even states himself that he wouldn't hurt a fly, no less as a fly lands on his hand and lands (!). After seeing a special on television of a film being made about murderous dolls Chucky and Tiffany, he realizes they are his parents due to "made in Japan" being on their wrists (which they passed on to him). He escapes and poses as a film prop, then is shipped over to Hollywood. He uses the Heart of Demballa to transfer his parents' souls into the props used in the film, and Tiffany is delighted. She decides to stop killing and Chucky decides to turn him into a killer, eventually tearing his soul in half and giving him a split personality, Glen and Glenda. You'll be shocked at the outcome. This movie is absolutely hilarious! There are so many horror movie references and the film is disturbing in its own right. The continuity is all there and everything. We do care about the character of Jennifer Tilly. No, I don't mean Tiffany. Jen plays both Tiff and herself in the movie. I recommend this to everyone who loves Chucky. If you aren't a fan, most definitely don't watch it. You may want to watch the first four before this one if you haven't or you'll be totally lost. Have fun!

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning
(2004)

really good!
There is a lot of good and a little bad.

Good things: Katharine Isabelle (Ginger) and Emily Perkins (Brigitte) are once again outstanding and sexy. Their performances are really good. The story is good, and I once again got to see the sisters on screen. I love sequels and prequels, so this is right up my alley. The special effects have gotten a lot better. The explanation of how they got their bird-skull charms was interesting and the ending was creepy and good. However, the good in this is really good, and the bad is REALLY REALLY bad.

Bad things: There is no explanation as to how these sisters are here. They have the exact same relationship, looks, names, voices, experiences, and phrases. They speak like gutter-rats, like most teenage girls int eh suburbs, making it feel as though they stumbled upon the village in "The Village". They don't share the really touching bond, it is not as extensively shown as the previous two. Ginger's kills were all really bloodless or off-screen. Ginger at the end looked like a reject from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". And some of the philosophical and lecturing voice-overs don't make sense and are just there to be, well, there. "The day the curse grew stronger in the red and the black. Sisters united in blood, together forever." The red and the black were just nicknames given to them. The curse grows stronger in them? It wasn't there until like two days before then. Ginger's transformation was too quick and not even properly ended. The Native American charm and chanting things were annoying and clich├ęd. It's just pointless.

I love this movie, but could have done without. It was honestly not needed. I already knew what happened to the sisters, I really didn't need to know that they experienced the same thing several centuries earlier. Off topic, but Katharine Isabelle has a chubby face in this and actually looks pregnant. She shouldn't be wandering in halls when she's the only woman in the whole place besides her sister, and shouldn't be wearing a skimpy gown while doing so. She sleeps in the nude, for Christ's sake. I like it slightly better than the second one, which was also great, think the first one is the best, and am looking forward to the 4th one, which takes place on the moon. I guess I will recommend it.

Jennifer
(1978)

Say hi, Carrie III is finally here!
This could actually be considered a Carrie III. Sure, it may have been made before The Rage: Carrie II, but who cares? I think that Jennifer's father could have easily been the father of Carrie and Rachael. He and Carrie & Rachael's father are religious fanatics. The reason that Jennifer doesn't have telekinesis could be because her mother gave her the gift (even though the male is the carrier). Anyway, I have an idea to post a script on the internet where the siters are reincarnated as triplets and join forces.

Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby
(1976)

not bad, but not good
I am only eleven years old, and even I think this is one of the most laughable movies ever! Patty Duke would have made a good Rosemary, if only there was another director! I know that she is a very good actress, for I saw her as a child in The Miracle Worker. I am a huge fan of the original and bidded for this movie and almost went as far as to pay 50 dollars for it. I finally found it for sixteen dollars on ebay.com. I got it and wondered why I even bothered, wasting all that energy over a very mediocre film! I heard there is a movie called Rosemary is Pregnant Again, and have wondered if it is connected in any way. I can't find it anywhere. All I know is thatthis movie will probably stay on my shelf forever until another unsuspecting victim comes in and wants to see it. Then, I can finally get rid of it! This film gets a 2/2 out of 5, for sheer dumb luck. I'd rather go watch the movie PI.

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