astro_nomenoff

IMDb member since December 2001
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    IMDb Member
    19 years

Reviews

Biggles
(1986)

They've tried VERY hard with the R2 DVD...
...what a pity the original movie wasn't worked on with the same skill and dedication.

I am a very big fan of the books. I read 'Biggles of 266' when I was aged 10 and 29 years later I'm still reading the adventures.

What a waste of the Biggles movie license.

The film wasn't all bad, though. Neil Dickson's portrayal of Biggles was spot on. The supporting actors did a pretty good job as well. The production design was excellent (well, the 1917 bits, anyway). That takes care of the good points.

Where the hell did they drag that soundtrack up from? Nasty is what I call it. I actually cringed during the film, due to inapropriate music.

The stunts were mostly unnecessary ego-boosting cliches.

The script was a total nightmare. Either copy Indiana Jones OR Back to the Future, not BOTH! If they'd cut the 80s bit out, cast Hyde-White as an american reporter and kept the secret weapon bits in, I would have no quibble with this film.

I would recommend buying the DVD if only for the unintentionally hilarious documentary. "..we thought a big star would've 'unbalanced' the film..." you don't say!!!

£3.99 at WH Smiths - buy it now! The spirit of Edward D Wood Jr. lives on!

Joan of Arc
(1999)

Yet another 'historical' drama that makes the English look bad!
Spoiler: she gets captured by the English and is burnt at the stake!!!

I don't know much about the true historical story but this film is so full of holes!

Firstly, the English are portrayed as mad lager louts with thick northern accents and say 'b*stard' and 'f*ck' all the time. At this period in history they ALL spoke french and the difference between the two countries was like someone from London and someone from Birmingham!

Where are the historical documents to support those stone balls being dropped down shafts and where did they gain their amazing momentum to fly horizontally for about 100 metres! And why were the french so stupid to stand in front of the holes all the time?

Oh, yeah, what about the bloke in the long orange wig? Why was he the only one with long hair?

Why did the presence of Dustin Hoffman cause Milla to start doing a 'rainman' impression? As a kind of homage? While were on the subject, she can't act anyway, she turns the whole film into a comedy.

Avoid this film unless it's the only thing on and you're drunk!

I'm writing this as the credits are rolling and even the closing title music etc. is completely hilarious! A cheesy poem indeed.

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