Chris@hame.org.uk
Lifetime Total
1+
IMDb Member
22 years
Reviews
The Godfather (1972)
I'm Sorry, Not Worth the Hype
I don't know why everybody who loves this film loves it so much. Maybe the fact everybody hyped it up meant i was never going to fully enjoy this but to be honest, it seemed slow and confusing and i struggled to keep my concentration. Constantly, i found myself drifting off and daydreaming. I would have stopped watching but i had a Uni assignment on it.
It has some great scenes but everybody has seen them before anyway. The acting is good but I thought Al Pacino has been better in other things.
Also, it was hard to make out, the characters speak so quietly it just turns into background noise.
It's not the worst film I've ever seen, no way. but it certainly isn't in the top 10, not even close.
The game is better, you get all the good scenes without the fairly dull bits in between.
It has some great scenes but everybody has seen them before anyway. The acting is good but I thought Al Pacino has been better in other things.
Also, it was hard to make out, the characters speak so quietly it just turns into background noise.
It's not the worst film I've ever seen, no way. but it certainly isn't in the top 10, not even close.
The game is better, you get all the good scenes without the fairly dull bits in between.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
BWP: the shortened version
HEATHER "Hey, did you here there's a witch who kills people in a woods near the small town of Blair. Maybe we should investigate by spending a few nights there"
TWO GUYS "ok" later
ONE OF THE GUYS "hey lets make camp here. that would be better than walking about ten minutes back into town to find a motel or something"
OTHER GUY "Ye, i mean from the shot we filmed of the woods you can clearly see its about five trees deep, no way we could make it back"
That night HEATHER "I heard something outside"
GUY 1 "it was probably a deer or something" HEATHER "Don't be stupid, a deer in the woods, are you crazy"
Guy 2 "ye it was clearly the sounds of a mad serial killer witch aimlessly wondering the woods"
The next morning
HEATHER "Oh My God, one of the trio is gone"
GUY "which one?"
HEATHER "the one who isn't you or me"
GUY "which one is that"
HEATHER "i don't know, which one are you?"
GUY "I cant remember. None of us are memorable characters, the only reason anyone will remember who you are is cos you're the token girl"
Later
HEATHER "OH MY GOD! I found his tongue"
GUY "Are you sure its his?"
Later still
HEATHER "I can here that other one calling"
GUY "How his tongue was cut out?"
HEATHER "oh ye!, Lets investigate and put our selves in danger"
GUY "OK, let me get my heavy, hard to carry camera. That will help since at this point you would think we would have given up on the film idea as we are in grave danger."
then they die
THE END
TWO GUYS "ok" later
ONE OF THE GUYS "hey lets make camp here. that would be better than walking about ten minutes back into town to find a motel or something"
OTHER GUY "Ye, i mean from the shot we filmed of the woods you can clearly see its about five trees deep, no way we could make it back"
That night HEATHER "I heard something outside"
GUY 1 "it was probably a deer or something" HEATHER "Don't be stupid, a deer in the woods, are you crazy"
Guy 2 "ye it was clearly the sounds of a mad serial killer witch aimlessly wondering the woods"
The next morning
HEATHER "Oh My God, one of the trio is gone"
GUY "which one?"
HEATHER "the one who isn't you or me"
GUY "which one is that"
HEATHER "i don't know, which one are you?"
GUY "I cant remember. None of us are memorable characters, the only reason anyone will remember who you are is cos you're the token girl"
Later
HEATHER "OH MY GOD! I found his tongue"
GUY "Are you sure its his?"
Later still
HEATHER "I can here that other one calling"
GUY "How his tongue was cut out?"
HEATHER "oh ye!, Lets investigate and put our selves in danger"
GUY "OK, let me get my heavy, hard to carry camera. That will help since at this point you would think we would have given up on the film idea as we are in grave danger."
then they die
THE END
Superman Returns (2006)
If it wasn't for Boogeyman...
...This would be the worst film i'd ever seen. Hmmm, OK maybe tied with Boogeyman then. Awful, truly awful.
I had low expectations and it failed to meet them! I honestly cant think of one good thing. so here are the worst points...
1. THE ACTING 2. THE PLOT 3. THE CGI (Xbox 360 has better graphics....seriously) 4. THE PLOT 5. THE DIALOGUE and finally.... 6. THE PLOT
There are so many unanswered questions, Did they make a 2:32 hour long movie then realize they hadn't put Lex Luthor and Superman in a scene together and were forced to settle for the 3 minute bit or did they actually think no-one would notice that the main hero and villain have less screen time together than Superman's son and the henchman he kills?!!
Was half the budget spent on persuading Kevin Spacey to do it?
When Superman goes to hospital, why don't the doctors ask "What the F*** do you want us to do?! He's a F***ing alien! We don't know jack about his anatomy!"?
What happened in the 5 years Superman was away to cause technology to advance 28 years?
Where the people who wrote good reviews watching the same movie?
and finally, Why? Just, Why?
BTW, for those of you wondering how come Superman could lift an entire continent of krypyonite, i think i've figured it out...
...since superman is unaffected by the kryptonite till he sees something green in the rocks, it is clearly all in his head. therefore the continent thing is just him suppressing his fear of shiny green rock....
either that or the writers are slack-jawed half-wits who didn't think that was a fairly obvious mistake.
I had low expectations and it failed to meet them! I honestly cant think of one good thing. so here are the worst points...
1. THE ACTING 2. THE PLOT 3. THE CGI (Xbox 360 has better graphics....seriously) 4. THE PLOT 5. THE DIALOGUE and finally.... 6. THE PLOT
There are so many unanswered questions, Did they make a 2:32 hour long movie then realize they hadn't put Lex Luthor and Superman in a scene together and were forced to settle for the 3 minute bit or did they actually think no-one would notice that the main hero and villain have less screen time together than Superman's son and the henchman he kills?!!
Was half the budget spent on persuading Kevin Spacey to do it?
When Superman goes to hospital, why don't the doctors ask "What the F*** do you want us to do?! He's a F***ing alien! We don't know jack about his anatomy!"?
What happened in the 5 years Superman was away to cause technology to advance 28 years?
Where the people who wrote good reviews watching the same movie?
and finally, Why? Just, Why?
BTW, for those of you wondering how come Superman could lift an entire continent of krypyonite, i think i've figured it out...
...since superman is unaffected by the kryptonite till he sees something green in the rocks, it is clearly all in his head. therefore the continent thing is just him suppressing his fear of shiny green rock....
either that or the writers are slack-jawed half-wits who didn't think that was a fairly obvious mistake.
À bout de souffle (1960)
A wacky, wonderful look at people lying in bed doing nothing!
This is the film that started it all, and ended my insomnia! What a boring, dull film. talk about Nouvelle vague, it was VAGUE alright. no distinguishable storyline what so ever.
'Plot': It's that age old story of boy kills cop, boy meets girl, girl and boy lie in bed doing and saying ab-so-lute-ly nothing important or interesting at all, girl tells boy shes pregnant just to see boys reaction but isn't actually, girl grasses boy up to cops because she"doesn't know if she loves him", boy refuses to run because he is 'tired' and apparently 'stupid', boy gets shot in butt and dies, girl..not bothered.
Ye, ye i know. It revolutionized the film industry (apparently). I was told in film studies, i wrote an essay on it. But it reminds me of the St Louis Rams between 2002-2005. Lots of flashy new ideas but very little substance. The use of natural lighting seems like a good idea but in practice just looks pathetically amateur.
'Plot': It's that age old story of boy kills cop, boy meets girl, girl and boy lie in bed doing and saying ab-so-lute-ly nothing important or interesting at all, girl tells boy shes pregnant just to see boys reaction but isn't actually, girl grasses boy up to cops because she"doesn't know if she loves him", boy refuses to run because he is 'tired' and apparently 'stupid', boy gets shot in butt and dies, girl..not bothered.
Ye, ye i know. It revolutionized the film industry (apparently). I was told in film studies, i wrote an essay on it. But it reminds me of the St Louis Rams between 2002-2005. Lots of flashy new ideas but very little substance. The use of natural lighting seems like a good idea but in practice just looks pathetically amateur.