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Reviews

A Secret Affair
(1999)

Watch this to learn how NOT to make a film.
Janine Turner is stunningly beautiful, as always. It was great to see parts of Venice I've never seen shot before. Compliments: concluded.

I'm not sure how Bobby Roth has a directing career after this film. I suppose most of the budget was swallowed by airfare. We're never really sold on why Vanessa is engaged in the first place. Her dialogue chemistry with Paudge Behan's Bill Fitzgerald is unconvincing. The visual and sound cut at the end of one act is particularly poorly timed. Turner's performance is really below her capabilities, which also reflects poorly on the director and editor (the latter responsible for the terrible "Just Cause").

***SPOLIER ALERT***

Honestly, was there no practical special effects budget for a squib or two? The scene to which I refer is remarkable unconvincing, comes out of nowhere, and we're never really set up for it in the film. Did someone really say, "Hey, this'll work" for that scene? Bill Fitzgerald is not of "The Year of Living Dangerously."

***

Next time, production company, hire a good director, hire more than one good actor, and give them a little more money to get this right. This made-for-TV movie was bloody poor. Well, not bloody...

This basic plot has a lot of great potential, but my goodness, dear viewer, watch a different film.

Honeydripper
(2007)

The worst, most boring, poorly made professional film I have ever seen.
This film is painfully slow and uninteresting. The dialog is brutal. The characters uninteresting. I have seen thousands of films, and this horrendous product should have ended the career of John Sayles. Sayles' Eight Men Out is among the most boring modern baseball films, but Honeydripper is at the very bottom of its genre.... and of all film making. There are countless good films about race relations in the southern United States, and this is not among them. Young directors and writers should watch this as how *not* to make a film. Danny Glover, Charles Dutton, Lisa Gay Hamilton, Stacey Keach, Sean Patrick Thomas, what *were* you thinking? There are always other movies to see instead of this one. See them all, then hesitate before renting Honeydripper.

Walls Have Ears
(2008)

Calling it "amateurish" insults amateurs.
"Walls Have Ears" had better hope its audience doesn't.

This is the most poorly made film I have ever seen projected in a movie theater. Who do the filmmakers know at Landmark's Kendall Cinema in Cambridge, MA that this nightmare could be shown at Boston's finest cinema?

This film should be titled, "How Not to Make a Movie." I will see anything, then leave with some appreciation for most every film, but this is a travesty, and insults everyone who has ever seen any moving picture.

Dialogue, sound editing, lighting, shot composition, scene purpose, and on, and on, and on,... were all as if the director had never taken a film class, read a book on film-making, or even watched a film.

This is the first time I have ever wanted my money back. Landmark Theatres will be receiving a letter from me shortly.

Shame on you, Patrick Jerome. You have wasted your viewers' time while stealing their money.

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