J_Jammer

IMDb member since July 2007
    Highlights
    2013 Oscars
    Lifetime Total
    1+
    IMDb Member
    11 years

Reviews

Noah
(2014)

Worst movie every made
Every film ever made aborted ideas and somehow that embryonic mess found its way into Noah. Do not waste your hard earn money on a film that spits on your intelligence and tells you to like it.

Worst movie ever made. The acting sucked. The direction sucked. The CGI was stupidly bad. The entire script was worded as if a kindergarten drop out due to lack of creativity wrote it. None of the characters were likable. Everyone deserved to die. And if I was God I wouldn't have even saved Noah's family.

2 1/2 hours for WHAT? Normally films can tell you something of value. This had no redeeming value and it wasn't even close to entertaining.

I used to think City of God was the worst film ever made. Too bad I can't make a tie. I would rather watch City of God twice before I ever watch Noah again.

Toy Story 3
(2010)

"Toy Story 3" It's Not Goodbye, It's See You Later….and That's Not a Tear!
I randomly wonder if the Toy Story trilogy created any hoarders, because if I were a child and saw these films, I'd become a hoarder—just sayin'.

The complaint that I see through many reviews is that the animation isn't adequate. Really? Pathetic excuse for people that claim to love movies. Ick.

Pixar makes me feel good without making me feel guilty. Thank you seems so small in comparison to what they've given and as saccharin as this sounds; it's true. It's so hard to get a close to wholesome experience at a film in today's industry and Pixar can be trusted to do just that. Their films are wholesome because they do their darnest to make them so and families appreciate that more than they probably will ever know.

I wondered how they were going to get to Sunny Side and the film sets it up perfectly. Like dominoes falling one after the other the things that go wrong have the toys end up at the day care only to want to go back home. Perfect display of story creation is taking a simple concept and squeezing an amazing adventure out of it. Many themes run through the film such as feeling unwanted, misunderstandings, bullying, jail break/escape, and then the wonderful reunited moment.

The Toy Story Gang is back sans Bo Peep and I'm not as sure as to why. Maybe there's an interesting story in there somewhere or I missed the explanation in the film. There are so many great moments that I can't pick one. The Ken (Michael Keaton) and Barbie (Jodi Benson) moments were so cheesy they were awesome. They were cheesy in an 80's kind of way. Plastic perfect, if you ask me. Buzz (Tim Allen) and Jessie (Joan Cusack) connect in an adorable manner. Her infatuation with him while he's stuck in Spanish mode had her in a Latin heat mood smoldering in ways no one thought a little cowgirl doll could. Andy and Woody (I know, I know) have a strong connection that is shown in Toy Story and takes a great turn in beginning and even bigger one in the end.

John Morris grew up with many of the viewers on Toy Story as Andy for all three movies. Random awesome factoid.

If Toy Story 3 (and I'm only reminded of the Oscars cause of what I read in someone else's review) doesn't dominate the Oscars it would be a travesty. It is by far the best film of the year (thus far) and I'm sure that won't change too much this summer.

The end of Toy Story 3 takes all of Toy Story history and makes the caring moviegoer, who supported the film from the onset in 1995 until now, break down and cry for toys. How incredibly gifted a storyteller are these people? This is why the bar will remain unbreached because they not only set it high, they make it insurmountable. The tears for the toys are more for what we all miss. It's the carefree feeling, the love for the simple and the power of imagination that is lost when we cross a certain threshold and nowadays the age gets younger and younger. When people watch Toy Story 3, not only are they a little shocked by the dark nature it takes on, they cry because of the goodbyes. They do so because they'd trade all of what they have in technology to have that mindset again. With the last scene the classic song playing, "You got a friend in me…" Toy Story 3 ends in the most amazing way possible for a film that made us all believe that toys come to life the moment our backs are turned. Pixar has given what many creators of worlds wish to give and that's immortality engraved on the hearts of film lovers that'll last "to infinity and beyond."

Iron Man
(2008)

"Iron Man" the Stark Superhero of Marvel
JJ Rating: A+

Billionaire Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) of Stark Enterprises visits Afghanistan to show off his new weapon. Upon being attacked by rebels he sees his weapons were in their hands. They kidnapped him and wanted him to make them a weapon, but instead he creates a suit that will evolve him into Iron Man.

It's another billionaire hero. In this case one that is more deviant than the Bat and far wittier than the Spider. Iron Man is exactly that: he's a man's man. He sleeps around, he drinks and he is cockier than necessary and he doesn't even get paid millions to play a sport. Well he gets billions to create inventive weaponry for America.

Iron Man was never my cup of tea. But when I heard that Robert Downey Jr. was going to play him I was sure that if there ever was a thing like cinematic perfection, that that was it. From that point on I was excited to see the film.

What would I want more from this film? I can't really think of anything. It's not perfect but what movie is? It's just really good. I wanted to see the Black Widow somehow but that was not going to happen. I'm really pleased with the after credits scene. STAY AFTER THE CREDITS.

What did I love about the film? Iron Man's suit. That suit was so freaking cool. I loved the way it looked, how it was put on, what it looked like in flight, how it sounded when it moved about, how it looked when it was damaged. It was just wow. I liked how Iron Man was just intelligent and figured out to do the practical thing without taking too much time to moralize everything. I like the wit of Tony Stark and how Robert Downey Jr. just perfectly fit the role as if he were born to play it.

Terrence Howard mad a great Rohdey. As-a-matter-of-fact there were several scenes that just make a comic nerd giddy. Count them off, if you can. Jeff Bridges was intimidating and imposing as he needed to be to play Obadiah. Gwyneth Paltrow was Pepper Potts and had the charm and smile to pull it off. I liked the way she walked to. It might have had something to do with her shoes, but still it seemed so intentional for the character and it worked.

The story progressed at an even pace and allowed for the development of the entire story within the allotted time. Jon Favreau (who also played the driver who, in the comics, becomes Pepper's love interest) did an iron clad job of directing. He knew what he wanted and executed it and it came out beautifully.

The C.G.I. work was eye candy for the super soul. That Iron Man get up was just marvelous. The battles between Iron Man and anyone else was done well. There was not too much and there was not too little. Just like baby bear's porridge. The C.G.I. even helped with some humor moments that were littered throughout the film either by visual gags or witty lines; humor was not missing from the banter heighten Stark.

Iron Man, the superhero, is a fine balance of cocky, womanizing, billionaire war mongrel with a touch of heroics all rolled into one likable man. It is simply a work of art. Normally such a person is the villain and not well liked, but not only is he liked in the comic books he's liked in the movie and that is thanks to Robert Downey Jr's portrayal.

I was impressed. This is the first movie that Marvel has financed themselves and let's just say…it works magical wonders for them to have more power.

There is no question that I will get Iron Man when it comes out on DVD. There is also no question that this will be the number one movie of the weekend and I even guessed that it would make a little over the amount of money it cost to make it. So I'm going to guess about $165 million dollars. Though because of Grand Theft Auto 4 it might be lower, a lot lower or so the nay sayers would scream. Iron Man is the nity-gritty hero, the one that is all bare on who he is and what he wants; he is Marvel's Stark Superhero and Iron Man is the start of a beautiful movie franchise.

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