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Sailing a Toy Boat

Dreadfully dull
You'll definitely want to track down the Rifftrax copy of this else you might not make it through this short without falling asleep. Even at just under 7 minutes this one is a chore to sit through. Between the monotone narrator and just how uninspired this old thing is there is almost nothing that makes it worth it.

Il pelo nel mondo

Solid Mondo
From automobile owning sex workers to child brides, this film showcases a massive range of sights, sounds, and customs from all around the world. Of course being an Italian produced mondo the content is all handled with the reverence and care that one would only expect in this sordid little genre. Almost no subject is safe from the narrator's relentless, though admittedly amusing, mockery as he positions himself to be obviously superior to any that he may examine.

This mondo also treats you to other genre staples such as outright lies and some truly odd sights. Notable sights include weird restaurants, bull fights, odd aspects of women's lib (circa 1960's), hickish Italians, and depictions of sex work from around the world. This mondo was slightly inspired by its "sexy nocturne" siblings as it has several strip teases that it features. I have yet to find a copy that actually shows any nudity in these scenes but that could be because of the year that it was released. This mondo does feature some real life violence but the vast majority of it is against animals that are either being prepared for consumption or are part of a ritual. Those looking for something rougher then that might be disappointed with this entry.

All in all I'd recommend this to fans of early mondos.

No hoi wai lung

A strong start and finish
TOUGH BEAUTY AND SLOPPY SLOP (1995) is a Hong Kong action movie trying desperately to succeed with minimal resources. While the film starts and ends with some very enjoyable action scenes (high body count, tons of squibs, very stylized), the middle is almost entirely devoid of anything memorable. There are even action scenes in the middle but they lack so much punch and end so quickly that they are almost not even worth mentioning.

There is a big twist in the film that is discernible almost immediately even though the film continues along as if the viewer doesn't know. There are few almost effective, cloak and dagger scenes as the undercover cops attempt to hide their true identities but none of it is executed well enough to be very thrilling. The plot also goes all over the place in a style reminiscent of Godfrey Ho and the other geniuses at IFD. Sadly, TOUGH BEAUTY AND SLOPPY SLOP doesn't have the psychotronic vibe that Ho's better work has.

You could definitely do worse when it comes to low budget, Honk Kong action but there's so much out there that is better I'm not sure I'd really suggest this to anyone who isn't a die hard fan of some kind.

Die xue jiang hu

Hits all the right notes
Note: this review is for the English dubbed version of the movie.

NO WAY BACK (1990) follows a hero cop as he goes deep undercover to avenge his slain colleague. It's well paced with a plot that feels like an inspiration for INFERNAL AFFAIRS (2002). The film features many hallmarks of the heroic blood shed genre: hyper violent deaths, handguns galore, high body count, focus on brotherhood, cynical world view, and a downbeat ending. It also has several scenes that are highly memorable, specifically a bloody shootout at a shopping mall and an assault on a police station that was likely inspired by TERMINATOR (1984). While its not quite at the same level as genre classics such as HARD BOILED (1992), NO WAY BACK is a pretty fun heroic bloodshed movie.

The Magic Fountain

Could have been better
THE MAGIC FOUNTAIN is an uneven but not overly dull kiddie matinee from 1961. It follows the adventures of a prince as he strives to always do the right thing. Along the way he meets some magical friends and encounters some magical items. Unfortunately the film's minuscule budget is easily seen as the sets and costumes are not on par with the type of output that Childhood Productions classically gave. So don't expect to find any ridiculous animal costumes or lavish sets here. Similarly don't expect any zany characters, everyone is rather dull, or psychotronic scenes While there are a few scenes that rise out of the drudgery of mediocrity they are the exception rather then the rule. Still, if you are nostalgic for this feature or you just love retro kiddie matinees it might be worth checking out.

Ying xiong wu lei

A wuxia drama that is bogged bown by its overly serious tone
Note: this review is for the English dubbed version

Hears Shed No Tears is a Shaw Bros wuxia flick that is much heavier on the talking then it is on the action. Alliances are formed, broken, and reformed as a set of top martial artists scheme against each other. The principle characters each have their own shtick that helps to make them feel unique and each get a decent amount of character development. Being a Shaw Bro.'s production the sets and costumes are gorgeous.

Sadly it is not very enthralling due to several issues. The stakes are not clearly defined as they are seeking to be the best martial artist but nothing is ever said of why this is important. The voice actors who did the dub offer little in the way of excitement or energy and they all deliver very forgettable performances.

Another point against the film is the writing. The dialog is often repetitive with characters restating their intent multiple times in a single scene. Many of the twists come off as lazy with writers choosing to no build up to the twist, opting instead to have the twist come out of nowhere. Much of the dialog revolves around angst of the characters and how they sad they feel, which does not feel terribly heartfelt given some of the above stated issues.

Some of the fight scenes are fun as the choreography is decent and there are a few instances of weird weaponry being used. The fights are not terribly violent as the movie only uses very mild blood effects (e.g. Someone is stabbed/slashed and their clothes will now be bloody). None of the fights are terribly psychotronic with this going for being more of a serious, historical drama then something zanier. The film does break from this tone in one scene when a dancer does cut off her own leg to get back at her partner (!) and then proceeds to indigently hop away (!!).

If you like the idea of Shaw Bro.'s putting on what is essentially a some kind of serious, stage play but with sword fights then you might like this. Otherwise my suggestion would be to skip it.

Chi dan hao han

The Return of the Assassin is a plodding, martial arts, pot boiler with little to offer the viewer in the way of entertainment. While the opening scene of a school teacher getting gunned down in his classroom seems to promise a bloody good time, the film sadly takes a different direction. Instead the film slows down as it shows lack luster fights shot on a shoe string budget while attempting to tell the tale of Chinese resistance fighters. The film is shockingly slow with my copy being dubbed in English by a bunch of voice actors who all sound like they were sleeping through their performances. As is common even in bad martial arts films, final fights are the best but by no means do they justify the other 70 minutes of this movie.


Another Childhood Productions classic
SLEEPING BEAUTY (1955) is another West German production that was picked up for American distribution in the 1960's by Childhood Productions. The story roughly follows the plot of Sleeping Beauty but with some fun additions such as a magic frog statue, magic lake fairies, evil goblins, and magic rose bushes. The dubbing is on par with the rest of Childhood Productions output, the sets all pop with wonderful craftsmanship, and the costumes are dazzling. This kiddie matinee isn't quite as psychotronic as comparable affair such as SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972) but the skill and money showcased here pairs well with some of the goofier aspects of the story.

If you enjoy some classic, kiddie matinee material then I'd definitely suggest this to you.

Yin yao hao qing

So-so CAT III Actioner
NAKED HUNTRESS (1993) is a Hong Kong action movie that focuses on a handful of characters who are embroiled in a genre staple: a gang war. Classic characters such as a femme fatale, a hero cop, a gangster with a heart of gold, etc all show up to shoot, punch, and blow up the baddies. For the most part it is an effective movie with a few scenes of sleazy, CAT III goodness but there's a lot of padding that grows a touch tiresome by the end. The body count is high but the gun battles forego the wire-fu style and take a more traditional American or Filipino take: 1. Get a truck load of generic looking baddies 2. Have the hero shoot at them 3. Everyone falls over dead with sparing use of squibs Despite these limitations the shoot out scenes start off as effective when the baddies are actually able to shoot the hero and making it feel like he is in some kind of mortal danger. Sadly, this becomes less frequent as the movie continues and the heroes simply stand there and shoot, not even opting to roll or at least try to make it look like they are trying to dodge bullets. There are a few villains who are fun but they don't have enough screen time or screen presence to really be notable and even the big baddies mostly feel like one-off henchmen from a more effective film.

Also the plot really gets bogged down in some poorly handled, romantic entanglements. While these subplots offer a few chuckles from the dialog and poorly written characters, its not enough to justify the length or frequency of these scenes.

Overall I wouldn't caution against watching it but I might reserve recommending it to anyone who isn't already a big fan of HK Action and would like a little bit of CAT III sleaze sprinkled in.

Punk Rock Holocaust

Maybe for punks
PUNK ROCK HOLOCAUST is a horror, gore, concert movie set at the Warped Tour in the early 200's. A killer is loose and murdering anyone who is unfortunate enough to be nearby. There's a slightly more plot then that which is delivered as exposition dumps so that the film can proceed to its final conclusion. Along the wa we're treated to a series of vignettes where various members of the Warped Tour are gruesomely dispatched. These scenes are all largely done tongue in cheek, heavily leaning into how cheesy and cheap the whole thing is. While the effects are ultra cheap and the plot is paper thin, everyone at least seems to be having a fun time with making the movie, making it feel much more like a passion project then another, generic piece of shot on video trash.

The concert scenes went on a little longer then I, someone who knows almost nothing about punk, really needed. Similarly. Many of the vignettes seem to lean heavily on the star power of the "actor's" who play the victims. These scenes might be more enjoyable to those who are well versed in the scene but for an outsider it comes off as a series of very cheap, and not always inspired, gore shorts. Lloyd Kaufman is featured in a few scenes but his presence in no way saves the movie

Punk fan's might be able to appreciate this one but non punk fans won't find much here worth watching.

Project G-7

Godfrey Ho delivers again
Project G-7 is another cut & paste mashup from Godfrey Ho. In it we have two stories of police trying to bring down an international crime syndicate, with each story features a pair of cops who are part of an overarching police operation called Project G-7. The stories are linked together in classic Ho style via phone conversations and beyond that they have little to do with each other. The Ho shot footage, of which there is very little, focuses on two American cops who are trying to combat the Los Angelas arm of the syndicate. While the non Ho footage, something that looks a lot like a 1980's Filipino action flick, focuses on two cops who are trying to take down the head of the crime syndicate.

In classic Ho style, the movie can be difficult to follow as alliances shift, hidden identities are revealed, and people are double crossed. The stunt work in both films enthusiastically attempts to be stylish but is obviously hampered by skill and budget. The mooks in the Filipino movie die in a very animated fashion as they fall, scream, and yell as dramatically as possible. The English dubbing in both movies is performed by the amateur voice actors from IFD as they stumble through classic b-movie, tough guy lines. While rarely boring, the Ho shot footage isn't nearly as fun as footage from the Filipino movie; with the one exception being the finales. The Filipino finale is very fun and works well with the rest of the Filipino footage. While Ho shot finale features the type of bizarre, out-of-place ideas that he's famous for. Overall I would recommend this to Ho fans or fans of 1980's Filipino action movies. While it's not Ho's best output, it is very fun.

Perawan Rimba

Low budget but insane and fun
Jungle Virgin Force starts off with the introduction of an obscure and hard to reach island that is populated by several tribes of "savages" that have been battling each other forever. The film then takes us to some students who learn from their professor about the existence of the island as well as a sizable treasure that resides there. From there the students are pursued by evil treasure hunters from the professor's house all the way to the island itself. Both groups are captured by the more barbaric of the two tribes and are turned into bloody sacrifices before they are able to escape. They stay with the good tribe for a bit before conspiracies are hatched and betrayals begin as more people decide that they want a piece of that treasure. The fighting culminates with a final battle between the two sides that results in both groups being wiped out, leaving only the the protagonist and one of his love interests.

This is a pretty insane movie that is a little hard to follow at times but those who like weird, Indonesian mystic movies or even just psychotronic films in general should definitely check it out. Some highlights include: hilarious acting by the "savages", multiple black magic sacrifices, cannibalism, decapitations, numerous impalements, white magic voodoo, and tons more. The dubbing isn't quite as cheesy as one might prefer but much of the acting from the barbaric tribe and their warlock leader is a real hoot. It does slow down in the middle for a bit while alliances shift and its final lurch into action for the showdown is so abrupt that it almost feels like it belongs to a different movie.

Overall I'd definitely suggest this to fans of weird, Indonesian cinema. Just remember that this a very low budget affair. Don't go in expecting something like The Devil's Sword or even The Queen of Black Magic.

Satan's Cannibal Holocaust

A fairly fun time
Satan's Cannibal Holocaust is a cheap gore movie that was shot on location in St. Louis. This is a very indie production made with what looks to be a shoestring budget and more passion then skill. The combination is almost a winning one though as the movie is often hilarious with its poor writing, hammy deliveries, and cheap practical effects. The shot on location aspect provides it setting with a nice touch of urban decay as the cannibalistic killings continue. The core plot of a bizarre, ancient, cult living on the edges of society (in this case the tunnels under St. Louis) feels like the start of a modern Lovecraft tale. The cannibalistic nature of the cult only furthers the feeling of the other that this cult has, making them feel like the type of backwards and crazed groups that typically populated his works. Sadly, the beliefs of the cult are much more generic and have nothing to do with "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know" but it makes for a fun atmosphere. While most of the characters are fairly replaceable, one cult member, a happy go lucky woman in a school girl outfit, steals every scene she is in. She plays almost like if Harley Quinn was some sort of sado-sexual serial killer and the actress is easily the best in the movie.

All this being said, when cheap gore isn't on display or the murderess school girl is else where the movie often falters. It has some choice bits of dialog here and there but it mostly turns into a slowly paced mystery movie. Still, if you are into trash cinema you could do much worse.

Female Mercenaries on Zombie Island

Avoid at all costs
FEMALE MERCENARIES ON ZOMBIE ISLAND is a kitchen sink type of movie that combines elements from large swath of genre films: mad scientists, cannibals, zombies, women in peril, women in prison, and post-apocalypse. This might sound like some of kind zany, cult hit that is just waiting to be discovered by the masses by alas it is not. Almost nothing works in this movie and that is in reference to more then the film's borrowed genre elements. Music, cinematography, acting, writing, costumes, sets, and even the sets all fail to be effective. This goes beyond the type of zero budget, trash film making that attract some to terrible movies as this feels almost lifeless. Perhaps its the utterly lazy camera work, the uninspired music, or the forgettable acting but nothing about this film speaks to the passion of the artists. Which really begs the question of why it was made as I doubt the motivation to do so was financial. To say its low budget would be a vast understatement. This looks and feels like it was shot over a weekend by a bunch of volunteers. Oh and any comparisons to the trash classic ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST (1980) is without merit. Other then a few cannibals and the mad scientist plot point the two films share nothing in common.

Avoid at all costs.

Blood Debts

Trashy, Filipino take on Death Wish
While a little unevenly paced, Blood Debts delivers as a trashy, Filipino action flick. It offers many of the hallmarks of such a film: poorly acted death scenes, takes that started before the actor realized he should be speaking, camera work that looks like it was done by adolescents, and dialog that is not only delivered poorly but sounds like it hastily written on napkins minutes before the camera rolled.

The plot is ludicrous and offers up plenty of hilarious moments as seemingly every criminal in the Philippines gets a bullet from Harrison. The music sounds like it belongs to a family friendly, Chuck Norris flick even while Harrison is plugging rapists. Most of the characters move with all the grace and fluidity of a bad video game.

It does lag a bit in the middle but the rest of it more then successful enough to consider this a very solid, trashy, actioner.

Non sparate sui bambini

Average, late period poliziotteschi
Note: I saw the English dubbed version thus this review will only pertain to the English language release of this movie: Don't Shoot on Children.

Don't Shoot on Children offers up an almost classic Italian tale about the working man who can't make ends meet. While some might steal bikes, or lose themselves in the bottom of a bottle, our protagonist decides to embark on some criminal ventures with a friend of his.

The film offers plenty of amusing bits of dialog as an already ham fisted script seems to have then be poorly translated into English. Many of the lines, while adequately delivered, feel like they were written by children as they have all the grace and subtly of a dump truck. Unfortunately the dialog is the biggest highlight from an otherwise sleepy and bloodless film. While one might expect for a poliziotteschi (a genre known for being mean spirited) at a school to be a trashy and violent time, that sadly does not happen here. Instead the film goes through some pretty cliched plot points from these sorts of films, hitting all of the notes that one would expect.

There are a few shootouts and some car cashes but they are not at all impressive and will only remind the viewer of the successes that the genre has to offer.

The Lost Years

Fun if a little scattered
The Lost Years is a meandering fringe theory documentary that focuses on Jesus. The initial focus of the film is on the alleged "lost years" of Jesus between the periods of his life that are well documented. This film postulates that he spent those years traveling India, learning how to do party tricks such as turn water into wine, duplicate bread, and bring back the dead. The theories as to how exactly this happened range from Jesus being taught by a mystic to Jesus having his potential being unlocked through meditation. You can't, or at least shouldn't, fill a 90 minute run time with just that though so the film then shifts focus to the end of his life, specifically on the two artifacts that are left from that time: spear of longinus and shroud of torin.

Brief, but surprisingly detailed, histories are given for each object before they start to talk about things like their spiritual (or perhaps occult) significance. The film dives back into esoteric theories as it ties all the classic historical figures to the spear before getting to every fringe theorists favorite subject: Nazi Occultism. Its pretty fun stuff to be honest, while modern hucksters such as Ancient Aliens try to convince you they are right this documentary throws it all out there as matter a fact as you can be.

While some of the subjects/ideas it hits on its seemingly, aimless stroll are a little dull this is overall a pretty good slice of pseudo-science cheese.

Le orientali

Very uneven
This docu-drama functions a bit like an early mondo film with some elements of the sexy nocturne sub-genre mixed. The film follows six different women in "the orient" as they go about their days. Each woman's story has to do with an overall theme of agency/emancipation and is steeped in cultural details that the film attempts to showcase oddities. It's only marginally successful in this endeavor as other then some, very brief, sexy dancing numbers the whole thing is rather tame. The most titlating scenes probably revolve around the Thai opium dens but the story ends just as it starts to become sensational.

The filmmakers also don't editorialize nearly as much as future mondo creators, taking an almost kind view of "the other" as it is depicted in this film. The facts offered up all seem fairly reasonable and the manufactured dialog never reaches the psychotronic levels of SWEDEN HEAVEN OR HELL (1968). Towards the end of the film the creators made a conscious choice to film the scenes as a drama, dropping all pretense of this being a documentary. It's an odd choice that probably would have worked if the material in the second half were a little more noteworthy in someway.

There are tiny aspects that are successful: some of the actresses are not only gorgeous but do a wonderful job and the cinematography offers up some pretty sights. But these pieces are never successfully pulled together. The final segments never achieve real dramatic tension and could have benefited from odder set pieces or even characters to act as foil.

The most notable aspect about this flick is that it almost feels like a trial run for mondo's. If you are a big mondo fan then it might be worth the watch if that historical perspective interests you. Otherwise I'd probably suggest that this isn't really worth it.

Hak mau II: Chi saat Yip Lai Hing

Very strong start
Black Cat II starts off with a bang as our heroine undergoing a procedure to turn her into the perfect killing machine. We then proceed to two Russian killing machines mow down their target and escaping in a scene that is right out of The Spy Who Loved Me but only with more shlock. We then treated to these two Russians shooting their way through a military checkpoint with hilarious action choreograph that would fit right at home in an IFP/Godfrey Ho classic. Sadly the movie really starts to slow down at this point as the hunt of the hitmen truly begins, other then a few scattered fights and a clandestine murder of an old woman there are few psychotronic sights to be hold. You could definitely do a lot worse but this by no means a classic.

Aliens from Spaceship Earth

Aliens from Spaceship Earth is a documentary that explores the teachings and stories surrounding Indian gurus, new age teachers, and cult figure heads. It attempts to make the case that these enlightened individuals hold the keys necessary for humanity's future spiritual, emotional, and mental development. The title comes from a few throwaway lines that these individuals are so enlightened that they are seemingly alien to normal humans.

The film mostly consists of interviews with followers, archive footage of the various leaders, and lots of b-roll footage of hippies walking through nature to the tune of an accoustic guitar. If you are looking for a weird piece of 1970's, fringe-focused trash then you should probably skip this title. The b-roll footage in particular kills any effectiveness the film's pacing might have provided and makes the entire film an endurance test. The film is entirely forgettable other then a few fun ideas about LSD causing astral projections and an amusing anecdote of a guru being caught in line for a porno. I would highly recommend skipping this title.

Hitman the Cobra

Not the best but fun enough
Hitman the Cobra is a Godfrey Ho/IFD film about resistance fighters battling against some Japanese soldiers that are occupying an unnamed south east Asian area.

The Ho shot footage most consists of Richard Harrison having goofy gun duels with other men who are, allegedly "Japanese agents." Here Ho tries to capture the magic of western stand-offs with the type of direction and acting that is typical for this type of movie. Expressions are exaggerated, vital visual clues are zoomed in on, and characters defy the laws of physics.

The non Ho shot footage seems to be about a group of resistance fighters battling against the Japanese. As far as purchased IFD footage goes this is actually pretty entertaining stuff and benefits from a number of decently made action pieces as well as some risible dialog.

The Ho shot footage is used pretty sparingly and is unforunately not as zany as much of IFD's other output. Don't expect for these scenes to reach the heights of IFD trash classic American Force 2: The Untouchable Glory. While the Ho shot footage benefits from a few appearances featuring Mike Abbott, given a hilarious dubbing that doesn't match his actual voice at all, it doesn't really reach truly psychotronic levels.

Overall this definitely isn't a bad entry for Ho/IFD fans to watch but its by no means a noteworthy addition to this little micro-genre.

Jin san jiao qun ying hui

Mostly skippable
Mission of Justice follows several female law enforcement officers as they try to bring down a criminal organization. As is typical for these sorts of movies, there is also a rival criminal organization that is trying to expand its power/territory. All in all pretty typical stuff.

Mission of Justice features a few fun gun battles but sadly they are primarily located and the beginning and end of the movie. In between we are treated to some mostly bloodless fights that are neither exceptionally good, bad, or ridiculous; they are just very average. Squibs are used for some of the bullet wounds, albeit not as liberally as in similar movies. Stabbings and explosions are kept to a minimum with the exception of the final fight where a super shotgun, ala Hard Boiled (1992) gets some screen time.

Most of action takes place in a rural area so you will not get the same slimy city feel that exists in many "girls with guns" and "heroic bloodshed" flicks. The dialog (my copy was dubbed) is also lacking; opting for standard tough cop/criminal lines instead of something more unique. Unlike some of Godfrey Ho's additions to the "girls with guns" sub-genre, Mission of Justice never reaches the bizarre heights that titles such as Born to Fight (1990) or Angel Enforcers (1989). The movie is also very focused on the main story so we are not treated to very many fun subplots for the heroines to punch and shoot their way out of. There's one bad guy who rises slightly above the uniformity that the rest exist at but he is mostly squandered and really only gets to have fun at the beginning and end of the movie.

Overall I would not suggest this to anyone other then people who are big fans of "girls with guns" movies and who are desperate for something they have not seen. They might be able to find that the high points redeem the rest of the movie. Everyone else is not likely to.

Encounter with Disaster

Not your typical Sun Classic shlockumentary
This Sun Classic produced documentary sadly goes a different direction then most Sunn Classic documentaries and does not focus on on fun, fringe theories. Instead it cycles through several disasters by providing narration and relevant footage of the event. The cause and the aftermath of each disaster is examined while the narrator provides a, thankfully, professional description; putting it a step above some of it's mondo/faces of death siblings. The film mostly avoids an exploitative use of this footage with the exception of some footage of an apartment fire that shows not only people falling to their deaths but also their uncovered corpses.

Mysteries of the Unknown - Psychic Powers

Fun and very goofy
This is a documentary that is based off of a book of the same name. In it various types of psychic phenomenon are examined and anecdotes are provided for illustration. We also get to learn the current state of scientific inquiry on these subjects, what the American military is doing to prevent a "psychic gap", and even where things stood legally (circa 1988)! In all the tone feels very much like a version of "The Amazing World of Psychic Phenomena" (1976) that has been updated for 1988. (The filmmakers seemed to think the same thing as twice they reuse footage from "Amazing World" and don't even offer any credit!) Instead of excitement at the future potential to become pure energy, we are treated to theories about how modern warfare will change with the introduction of psychics. While it doesn't have the wonderful moog music found in so many 70's shlockumentaries this is still a very fun one to watch.

Sex Magic: Manifesting Maya

Qurikiness that spirals into something darker
Sex Magic follows Dez and the sexual healing community that he lives and works in. What starts off as an examination of a little known community turns into a character study of Dez himself. Aspects of the community seem genuine and very uplifting for its members. There seem to be a number of individuals who genuinely believe what they say and genuinely care about their clients, friends, and lovers.

Dez, the sexual healer who becomes the focus of the documentary, is a little more complicated While Dez professes being a healer and being there to meet his students needs first, he comes off as almost a sex cult leader. He has a certain amount of control over those around him and does not seem above manipulation to get what he wants. As the film continues the film makers find individuals who are willing to speak out against Dez and cite several instances of sexual harassment and even assault that he has committed.

While a little slow at parts, overall I would suggest this documentary to anyone who wants to learn more about polyamory, sexual healing, or likes character studies. There's also a decent amount of full frontal male and female nudity if that does anything for you.

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