R Becker

Pretty dreary, pretty dull. Sought it out because of a friend of a friend, but wasn't impressed. You could do worse, but you could certainly do better. Neither the acting, nor the writing, nor the cinematography was involving or suspenseful. The premise -- the crossbow guy -- is pretty offbeat, but given what you see in movies nowadays, it's not a bad notion. What it really comes down to is execution. The film just isn't all that engrossing. If you cared more about these characters, it could really be something. But as it is, the movie is really not about people you'd want to know on any level, even as fictional characters. This lack of connection is the most crucial flaw in the movie. Without caring about the people entangled in this situation, the situation itself is largely academic. This could have been made better in the writing phase, or it could have been improved by the right guidance for the cast. Neither is present here.

Yes, Jeffrey Byron does resemble Viggo Mortensen. Yes, the talentless Kelly Preston is a movie star to this day (for reasons that utterly escape me). But this tedious attempt to weld together STAR WARS, THE ROAD WARRIOR, a little bit of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, and whatever else was handy really only comes alive once Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are on the screen. Well, that, and the surprisingly exciting score by Richard Band is another plus. But overall, if you get the chance to see METALSTORM, pass it up. For one thing, the cinematography is so badly lit that you'll have a hard time being sure it's the same leading man in many shots. For another, the editing is choppy and distracting during any action scene. For still another, the sand-monsters are about as cornball as they could be. But worst of all--the script is flat and dull, and the directing is lackluster. Give it a miss, you'll never be sorry.

Those who grew up with Gumby, like me, will find this a welcome step back into the boundless imagination of Art Clokey and his crew. Anybody else may find their mileage varies, unfortunately, because there really *isn't* anybody quite like Art Clokey. It's not mile-a-minute in its pacing, it's not laugh-a-minute in its comedy, it's not trying to be anything but More Gumby. So if you want more Gumby, this is it! Clokey brings back all your favorites -- Gumby, Pokey, Prickle, Goo, the Blockheads, and even some surprises -- and adds a few new characters on top of that. Nobody should miss the utterly psychedelic claymation of the last few minutes of the film, because it really is beautifully done. If you expect Aardman Animation or something modern, you should adjust my rating down a few points -- this probably isn't for you. But if you remember Gumby and would like just another short while with him and his friends, here's your chance.

There's nothing very profound about DAY FOR NIGHT, but it is a fun examination of how films are made, what it's like to be on a set making them, and the obsession with film that fuels them. Truffaut is just a bit of a ham playing the director, but he keeps it so businesslike that you don't really concentrate on what he's doing. Bisset is eye candy but has a pivotal role built on the adage that "the show must go on," and the rest of the cast is entertaining. The real star is the cinematographer, whose visuals are often a dance between the camera we see through and the cameras in the film-within-a-film. Overall, if you'd like to know how movies are made (and somehow haven't absorbed that information by osmosis!), DAY FOR NIGHT is a sweet and harmless introduction to the world of movies.

So many others have given such eloquent commentary on this extraordinary film that all I can really add is that Wes Anderson is a genius! (Not that that hasn't already been observed by others.) Anderson has a body of work that is highly literate and highly literary -- here, the novelistic quality of his movies is directly referenced on-screen -- and it's his greatest strength (among many great strengths). Anderson is a writer/director that creates whole worlds that echo our own but are very much part of his psyche, and his ideas and ideals are warmly human and thoughtful.

If I had to lump Wes Anderson with anybody else (which would be a crime), I'd put him with Charlie Kaufman (BEING JOHN MALKOVICH) and the Coen Brothers (THE HUDSUCKER PROXY). Gentler than the Coens, more hopeful than Kaufman, he nevertheless shares these other directors' secret status as modern fantasists: None of them are *called* fantasy filmmakers, but that's what they are.

Of course, the entire cast of THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS turn in crackerjack performances (though Ben Stiller is a bit stiff), Mark Mothersbaugh creates an evocative and quirky score, and even Alec Baldwin does a solid job of narration. Standouts include Danny Glover for the pivotal role of Henry Sherman and Angelica Huston, as well as the ever-excellent Gene Hackman.

A funny, smart, offbeat movie!

Soap actor John Considine is a bit too pretty and lightweight for the title role, and it's quite surreal to see Moe Howard appear in the first act of the movie, but DOCTOR DEATH is actually an interesting little movie that might have been better. It's very, very much of its time -- not just in terms of the production design but also its treatment of the occult and of horror stories -- but they really try to do a big story on a little budget. And that's nearly always a respectable thing.

For me, one of the highlights of the film is the brief (and silent) appearance of Larry "Seymour" Vincent, the premier Los Angeles horror host of the 1970s. He is part of an amusing movie-within-the-movie that actually makes you wish that you could see *that* movie instead of the one you're actually watching (DOCTOR DEATH)!

A true modern classic. It's all been said before me -- Ford is perfect, Karen Allen (his best leading lady, hands down) is ideal, and the whole movie couldn't be changed one frame and still be as great as it is. For the nitpickers: Look for a tiny Indy hanging on to the periscope of the U-boat (U-boats couldn't entirely submerge, they had to keep at least an airpipe above water at all times for ventilation).

This lovingly crafted tribute to the great Saturday afternoon serials of the 1930s-1950s is full of fun, gritty action (Indiana Jones fights dirtier than any of his opponents -- he uses *every trick in the book!*), Americana, deathtraps and cliffhangers, and real Hollywood magic. Add to that the awe-inspiring musical score (better, ahem, than STAR WARS'), the eminently quotable dialogue ("You Americans, you are always the same -- always overdressing for the wrong occasions"), and that this is Ford's best role ever, and you have a must-see movie. If you haven't seen ROTLA, see it now! Right now! Me, I think I'll go watch it again. About 40 times in the theater, who knows how often on the small screen -- and it's still as great as ever!

Surprisingly fresh comedy and adult outlooks sparkle in this fun early talkie and musical starring Jeanette MacDonald. It's got a none-too-subtle fetishy undertone to give it a snappy jolt, it's got some unusually naturalistic acting (especially from the pre-Nelson Eddy Miss MacDonald), and it's in glorious black and white. What more could you ask? Well, the supporting cast do tend to be a bunch of stock characters, but it *is* a musical comedy, after all. The climax at the opera has a lovely exchange of wordless acting between MacDonald's Countess and her paramour -- and the whole thing is full of "the Lubitsch touch," from before he had entirely lost his European edge. I recommend it!

Sure, it's got Doug "Sting of Death" Hobart as the werewolf. Sure, it's got all the production values of a 1950s educational film (I suspect it was made by the same folks that did those). Sure, it's a black-and-white drive-in cheapie.

But it's HORRIBLE! Bottom-of-the-barrel in every possible department, THE PROFESSOR is terribly written, god-awfully acted, ineptly directed, and has the lowest possible production values. There's no thrills, no excitement, no fun... just a little over an hour of cinematic tedium such as few films can deliver.

Do yourself a favor. If you get the Sinister Cinema double feature of TALES OF FRANKENSTEIN and THE PROFESSOR, just stop watching at the end of TOF. Really.

I love Peter Jackson's films. He's earned a lot of credit with me, with films like HEAVENLY CREATURES, THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy, and especially stuff like DEAD ALIVE. So it's okay by me if he decides to create what is, in the final analysis, an offbeat piece of fan fiction -- his version of KING KONG, his favorite movie (and you can tell it is, despite his changes to it). Naomi Watts is charming, Jack Black is just right (this is how I always saw Carl Denham; I don't know what kind of hero other people see in the 1933 film... but he's no hero to me), Adrien Brody does a good job with his character (they split Jack Driscoll into three characters for this version - the writer, the leading man, and the first mate). But it's just a little... weird.

For starters, there's the tone. It veers crazily from wonder-and-magic to guys getting their heads smashed with clubs or being eaten by big creatures. Then there's the storyline. It's been updated from the primal classic to what is really a story for girls ages 12-14 years. Ann and Kong are very nearly literally a girl and her pony watching rainbows in the sunset. That's okay, but it's not really quite the same as the original. And Kong is wonderfully played... but he's a gorilla now, and he wasn't in the original. In the original, he's a Kong, a simian that's one of a kind. It's like Burroughs' Tarzan stories -- only in the movies is he the lord of a bunch of gorillas. Burroughs makes it clear that the apes Tarzan grew up with are a bunch of missing links that nobody's ever seen before; Kong is likewise something else. But Andy Serkis does a fine job nevertheless.

Overall, it's a bit self-indulgent and not entirely satisfying (despite the great effects, wonderful period details, and cameos by Bob Burns and Rick Baker), but it's still a fine film. I look forward to Jackson's next picture, now that he has this one finished and out of his system.

If you remember seeing this film on local TV -- as I do -- then you know it's a short, cheap, shot-in-England black-and-white comedy with a few random ghosts thrown in. But it's still fun! Not only does the film feature the first credited film appearances of Josephine Blake (who would later be a British musical star) and Clive Revill (a great British character actor), but it's got a guy named David Rose who is about as close to a 1950s teen comedy Regis Philbin as you'll ever find. I don't know where they dug up guys like this one (and Bobby Van, and all the other horror/SF/fantasy "comedy relief" guys), but they're a cliché -- uh, staple of the time that you just have to look back and chuckle about. If you find the pacing slow (it is) and the plot thin (it is) and the comedy weak (it is), at least you know it's not very long...

"Nostalgia" is very often a catchphrase that means "how we wish things had been." That goes for everybody, whether or not you actually lived in the times you're looking back on -- and this is a fact that seems very clear to the makers of MAN OF THE CENTURY. It's a smart film that includes all the beats of both modern independent romantic comedies and classic films, but it never tries to convince you that the world of Johnny Twennies is anything like the real world... in the 1920s or the 1990s. Instead, it's a world of fantasy pretending to be the real world, with just a thin layer of verisimilitude on top of the proverbial cake. Everyone is perfect, from the "realistic" gangsters to Frank Gorshin's hilarious cameo, but the clear best in show is Gibson Frazier. Frazier is note-perfect as Johnny, and he commands the screen from start to finish with both his own solid performance and high charisma and shrewd tributes to Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton. This movie's a winner, and I for one would love to see more work from Frazier on the movie screen.

Try as they might, no-budget filmmakers working on DV just can't seem to capture this level of sordid, inept fun! THE DEMON LOVER has it all: Bad acting, lousy writing, murky camera work, a ridiculous-looking rubber monster, a little skin (not much), a little blood (not much), characters named after comic-book professionals, and a surprisingly accurate look at what a lot of fringe-type folks were like in the late 1970s. Yep, tasteless and stupid as the movie is, and awful as the people in it act and look, you really could've met people like the cultists in THE DEMON LOVER at the time! They might not have been devil worshippers who ended up facing their lord and master in person, but they still existed (and they're still out there with their, uh, lifestyles). BTW, the final confrontation between the ex-cultists and their blowhard former master is priceless: Watch for the crossbow bolt! And don't miss the big karate demo in the middle; it's truly the stuff of '70s I'm-so-cool wanking. A cruddy drive-in flashback par excellence.

Whether or not you're a believer in the Loch Ness monster, this film has a mischievous sense of humor that sometimes makes you laugh out loud -- and it's got some genuinely spooky moments, too. Zak Penn does a solid job both acting and directing, but Werner Herzog steals the show playing himself with all but a twinkle in his eye. The very idea that Herzog hangs around with Jeff Goldblum and Ricky Jay is hilarious, and the cryptozoologist is so much fun that I hope actual paranormal buffs will lower their guards and have a good laugh at themselves -- it never hurts to have a sense of humor about yourself. It was only natural that eventually someone would combine the mockumentary subgenre with the BLAIR WITCH-style subgenre, and here it's done with a deft hand and a keen sense of the absurd.

As a friend of mine sagely observed, "In this movie, a main character could get hit by a meteor and it wouldn't be any more surprising than anything that happened before it." Beginning with the outrageous opening information crawl (which explains to the audience that YOU are not worthy to see the Warden yet) and continuing through all the insanely bloody action, as well as the nutty flashbacks (it's hard to decide if Riki's uncle is a loonier character than his girlfriend, or vice versa), there are more jaw-dropping moments in this film than almost anything you could watch. The words "beyond belief" come to mind regularly throughout any viewing. If you enjoy the crazy, the awful, the disgusting, the exploitative, the (un) intentionally hilarious... you'll love this one!

Even if you've seen THE STORY OF RICKY, you are not ready for FANTASY MISSION FORCE! It's unpredictable, crazy, hilarious, and one of the last great non-slick Hong Kong action films ever made. If you think HK films are all about CROUCHING TIGERs and FLYING DAGGERs, think again. Jackie Chan is in the movie for about 15 minutes, but you won't mind it. If you get bored easily by films, you won't be bored by this! There's no need to reach for your remote control, because FMF will change the channel for you. And if you didn't think it was possible to find a movie that featured a flaming Chinese actor in a kilt doing a bad Oliver Hardy impression, or an Asian Pat Benatar doing an Annie Oakley routine, you're about to be proved wrong -- when you see FANTASY MISSION FORCE.

George Pal's award-winning Puppetoon shorts are showcased in this very warm and funny film for all ages, hosted by some of the stop-motion characters whose creators were influenced by him. The technology of the art may be a bit primitive by modern standards, and some of the characters -- particularly Jasper, an African-American boy -- must be seen in the context of different times. But none of it was ever intentionally mean-spirited or prejudiced, and the affection and care of the animators shines through in every segment. It's clear that Pal and his colleagues influenced everyone from Ray Harryhausen to Art Clokey to Rankin-Bass to Will Vinton to Nick Park to Henry Selick, and the influence was always positive. If you enjoy cinematic history, puppet animation, or old-fashioned family entertainment, you'll enjoy THE PUPPETOON MOVIE.

...if you do a little research on the dying Brit, you soon discover that he was himself a hoaxer, while the man who made the "Surgeon's photo" was actually a very sober and upstanding gynecologist... and never given to hoaxes. Many Ness researchers don't believe the photo anyway, but not because it's ever been proven to be a hoax.

It has not been.

The "Loch Ness hoax" rumor is itself an urban legend, much like the so-called debunking of the Patterson Bigfoot film from 1967. A little research shows you that not only did the man (John Chambers) who was supposed to have faked the Bigfoot deny it to his grave, but the primary person who says he did it is filmmaker John Landis -- a known expert on simians, primates, and prehistoric humanoids... er, not quite. (Though he did make SCHLOCK.) Frankly, you only have to compare the Bigfoot material you get in something like MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS with the monkey suits on display in episodes of STAR TREK or KORG 70,000 BC from the same general timeframe to know that there's just no way any makeup artist from the time *could* have faked the suit! (Even the so-called "zipper" on the suit doesn't stand up to rigorous computer analysis. It's just a tuft of fur.)

All this by way of saying: Watch THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS and don't be too quick to believe every dying British con artist you read about, or every B-movie director who insists they can analyze film better than naturalists.

For anyone who's a fan of great old Tsui Hark and Shaw Brothers films, there's a quirky comedy-action-fantasy called BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. This movie has the ever-sexy Kim Cattrall and the entertaining Kurt Russell, plus the great James Hong, all in a goulash of storm gods, secret underground cities, and more. Great line from the film: "Whoa... do that again!" It's fun, funny and smart, and you won't be sorry you saw it!

It all looks so good, and the music is so cool, that you almost forget that it's a tissue paper-thin story with a religious parallel message you could choke a Tibetan yak with. Best lines in the movie: "I know kung fu," and "Whoa." Take both pills!

After years of waiting, this is what we got -- and it's not of the best. Unfortunately, the pacing is bad, the dialogue is worse, the actors are at sea, and when it all comes down to brass tacks, you've got about 10 minutes of good filmmaking here (mainly the Duel of the Fates sequence at the end of the movie). John Williams' music is great, as always, and the Queen Amidala costumes and makeup look stunning (as does the design for Darth Maul). A major mistake is Lucas' resorting to dubious racial overtones for Jar Jar Binks and the Trade Federation, not to mention Watto. Maybe it will seem better in the context of viewing all six Star Wars films in order, but one wonders.

After years of watching DC Comics' characters get good movies, Marvel finally scores one for their recognizable superheroes. As an anti-fan of the mutant hero phenomenon, I was pleasantly surprised to find that apart from the expected great work of Patrick Stewart and Ian MacKellan there were also standout performances in the roles of Wolverine and Rogue. They turned my least favorite X-characters into my favorite ones (for the span of one movie, anyway). Of course, there's much to be said for their costume and makeup designers' work on the Mystique character, but that's not for a family Web site...

There's something about French SF -- it's got that whole "Metal Hurlant," a-bit-overripe-and-a-bit-too-earnest-and-silly feel (these things really need Jean "Moebius" Giraud to steer them, or Truffaut, if he weren't dead). The hammy and overrated Gary Oldman plays his usual cheeseball villain in a collection of affected mannerisms and expressions, while Willis' hero (well, sort of) falls into one weird (but pretty) situation after another. In its favor, the movie gives you a whole other world of imagination. In its disfavor, the world it shows you makes little sense and is a bit over-designed. Usual "chosen-one-must-save-the-world" plot we've been forced to watch in SF and fantasy for the past 25 years (can you say "pyrotechnic special effects finale?"); tune out the plot and dialogue but stay for the cool designs (and the funny-looking ones, too)!

Ignore what others may say -- this is a worthy successor to the Rankin-Bass puppet-animated holiday classics of your childhood, merged with the darkly whimsical sensibilities of Tim Burton and Danny Elfman. Everything about it is charming, from the character design to the lovely and haunting tunes (it's an animated musical about two great holidays -- Hallowe'en and Christmas). Run, don't walk, to your video store to rent it!

Whenever I see one of Bruce Willis' good movies, like TWELVE MONKEYS or THE SIXTH SENSE or UNBREAKABLE, I forget why I used to not like him. Then I watch HUDSON HAWK and it all comes back to me. Never has modern film seen a more self-congratulatory and annoying piece of celluloid. Think twice.