shadowguy12 Reviews (9)

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Meh...

[7/10 · 3 January 2009]

I'm not going to say this was a BAD movie. I just think it's GOOD. You know, acceptable? An average movie. But I really don't think it's some masterpiece like everyone says it is.

I LIKED it, but it's not really my taste, I guess. I mean I didn't like Ferris Bueller that much either. Whatever genre that may be. I guess 70s/80s teen movies or something.

So, I GUESS I recommend it if you like those kind of movies, 70s/80s teen movies, but if you don't then don't see it. I didn't find it that memorable. But, it was OK.

Thank you for your time.

Re-Animated (2006 TV Movie)

Nnnnnn...

[1/10 · 22 December 2008]

Oh my God... This movie is the worst.@_@ I remember it two years ago, 2006, and how I watched it twice because they were doing some prize money giveaway and I wanted the damn cash! But when I called nothing happened. It just sent me to some weird machine thing that had nothing to do with this Re-Animated thing. So that whole prize money thing was probably just a hoax.:\

Well, I thought the film was VERY awkward throughout. I tried to get around the whole so-unrealistic-to-the-point-of-being-retarded thing, but I really couldn't. It's not even absurd stuff. It's just effing stupid.

Acting: Ass.

Writing: Ass.

Dramatic Moments: Wtf?

Music: Didn't hear any to be honest. I can't say.

Everything Else: No.

They made this into a TV show and replaced the Asian kid and his sister with some African kid and his sister. I guess the Asian got beat up in school after being in this garbage and didn't feel like sticking around.

I'm not feeling much like writing. Blahblahblah... But I'll tell you that I strongly recommend flaying anyone remotely involved with this movie.:\

WALL·E (2008)

This is the Jesus of Pixar Movies!!!!shift11

[10/10 · 13 July 2008]

Wall-E is AWESOME! And I didn't even see it at good quality, I saw it over the internet, and it was still very good.

Basically Wall-E lives on Earth to collect trash, and he meets Eve, a robot sent to find life on Earth. Wall-E shows her a plant and...well, I'd rather not go any further, so I'll just tell you about random bits.

When Wall-E goes to see the humans on the space station, they are all lazy, fat hedonists, and each generation gets fatter. Robots do all the work, and they all like it till the Captain of the station sees that Earth is a great place, or at least was.

So, sorry I'm not going into detail, but I think you should see it yourself, because it kicks your ass till diarrhea comes out of your private part, in a good way! I guess I'll tell you what I think the moral is: Hedonism is bad. If you don't know what hedonism is, it's thinking that pleasure is the most important thing in life. I know it sounds fun, but it's not fun for everyone around you.:P

Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

Only Part 1 and Part 4 are good.

[6/10 · 10 July 2008]

The Twilight Zone movie is decent. However, only Part 1 is truly great. Part 2 (If that one is Kick the Can) is boring. Part 3 (It's a Good Life) is just too weird for me. Part 4 is OK, though.

Part 1 is more creative than the others. It had never been done in the original series so it's like watching a new episode (Although it was probably inspired by Deaths-Head Revisited). It's about a racist man who especially hates the Jews, and shouting out many racist words.. He then somehow appears in Nazi Germany and everyone sees him as a Jew. Then he falls off a building after almost getting shot and ends up in the middle of a KKK group, and they see him as a black man. Then he goes to Vietnam (I think), and American soldiers see him as a Vietnamese person, and try to kill him. After getting thrown by a grenade he appears back in Nazi Germany, and gets taken on a train, and then he looks at the Jews on the train with him, like he's regretting his racism. He goes to a concentration camp, although they never really tell you this, it's pretty clear that's where the train is going.

I don't want to go into depth with any other part, mostly because they're just takes on Twilight Zone episodes.

So, there you have it. A 6 out of 10, if a 5 is average. I recommend renting it, but not buying it because it lacks any real special features. It might be hard to find, though.

American Dreamz (2006)

Very bad, that's why its income didn't reach its budget.

[2/10 · 10 July 2008]

This film is terrible! End of story.

It sucks.

It sucks at life! Omer is OK, everyone else is not! Stupid satire! I admittedly don't know much about cinema but I definitely know a bad movie when I see one! This SUCKS.

Its income did not even reach its budget of 17 million. Pitiful, right? And somehow I think it was in theaters for a month or so, I might be wrong.

I didn't watch the whole thing, probably two thirds of it, but I had good reason: it sucked ass.

Calling this film sh*t is overrated! Seeing sh*t compared to this makes me respect the sh*t and want to take it home! At least sh*t makes something of an attempt to make a movie! American Dreamz made no attempt whatsoever.

Take this as a warning and go rent an October Sh*tfest if you want something better! Thank you for your time, good night.

Scary Movie (2000)

Good Idea, Bad Execution

[3/10 · 27 June 2008]

"Scary Movie" is a movie that parodies many scary movies, mainly "I Know What You did Last Summer". It follows a group of teens, most of them dying by the end, who are being killed by someone masked like the killer in "I Know What You did Last Summer".

Unlike most parodies that aren't in this franchise, this is not a tongue-in-cheek parody. Tongue-in-cheek parodies mock the original, but still stick with whatever theme they are parodying, "Shaun of the Dead" is one. But Scary Movie is just stupid.

One big complaint I have is that it doesn't really point out any stupidities in the movie it parodies, it just uses really immature humor that doesn't mock Last Summer at all. The only thing they really pointed out is the odd plot in Last Summer, or the sequel, I forget.

I give this film a three out of ten, since it's not some ungodly abomination sent to Earth my Satan's little helper, but it still sucks big time.

My Life as a Teenage Robot (2003–2009)

Show doesn't make sense

[3/10 · 28 May 2008]

Why would you make a teenage robot? Teenagers aren't gonna feel like saving the world at all. I know I wouldn't. And metal and electricity doesn't make you have "The strength of a million and seventy men".

I think this show takes place in the future, though not too distant, because most of the people in the direct serving line of work are robots, and the robots have personalities. But I still don't understand how there are good robots. If I was a robot and treated as a slave and had a personality, then I'd plan a robot uprising, which does happen by a robot race, but Jenny, the main robot, stops them.

Something else that is weird is a human likes her. His name is Sheldon, and he is attracted to her. There must be a word for that, like heterobosexuality, but it would make sense if there wasn't a word for it, because it would NEVER HAPPEN.

The biggest thing that doesn't make any possible sense is all the robots have genders! How does Jenny have a gender?! Was she made with an Animatronic woman part or something?! She would also be a slut if she was human, because she gets some slutty paint job in one episode.

All right, that's my review. And it's true because these are the reasons it lasted for about 2 seasons. 3/10.

The Ringer (2005)

A good movie

[7/10 · 24 May 2008]

This movie was good, and definitely good enough to get by. I'll simplify the basic plot: a man needs to make some money and so joins the special Olympics and eventually tries to go out with one of the trainers.

This movie was funny, and its morality is good. It doesn't mock the mentally delayed for very long. It only does so for the first fifteen minutes or so they are introduced, then shows them as people, which is very good.

I didn't give this movie a ten because it wasn't extremely entertaining (I'd still recommend renting it, though). Also there wasn't a lot of depth in the characters. They were pretty basic. You'll still have a good time watching it, though.

10,000 BC (2008)

This film is an abomination

[3/10 · 18 May 2008]

This film is an abomination to mankind, God, Earth, Hell, and everything else! It doesn't make any sense, it's acting sucks, the story looks like it was made up as the script was written, and it's a freaking abomination! I had to see this crap for my birthday because my parents said it would be great! What a load of crap.

Here's how it doesn't make sense: The lands of the jungle, polar, and desert are mixed together without any transition other than the jungle being the middle. Also the tribes are a bunch of random races. It's like no one ever separated. And no tribes are nomads, which doesn't make any sense. The leader of what I assume is Egypt, since it has pyramids (Though pyramids were built much later than 10,000 BC) is white. WTH?!?! All right, the acting is pretty messed up. And, on something of a side note, there's some fallen priest whose speech is hilarious, and is the highlight of the movie. Seriously, that's the only thing that makes this film 3 stars.

This film is an abomination to script writing because it looks like they took a bunch of pages from the phone book and stapled them together, much like they stapled ice, desert, and jungle together. Also the CGI isn't that great. And wouldn't mammoth's die in the heat of the desert? In the end, it's not a terrible movie. I mean, it's not like it's the worst movie ever made, but it's below average, and I'd suggest that you don't buy it on DVD. But I guess it is worth pirating, since the part where the fallen priest speaks will make you laugh for the remainder of the film.