jorgito2001

IMDb member since February 2008
    Lifetime Total
    25+
    Poll Taker
    10x
    IMDb Member
    12 years

Reviews

Circus of the Dead
(2014)

Fake Reviews everywhere! This is pure GARBAGE!
Cheap looking and a paper thin plot are your thing even by horror movie slashers, CONGRATS..this is your movie. An extreme cheese show showing off extreme gore and violence. For the record I'm NO prude. I enjoyed Rob Zombie's Devil's Rejects and 31 & many others for what they are...here, it looks like cheap camcorder torture footage my neighbor made...and not in a good way. The only redeeming thing was the very sexy Chanel Ryan playing the mom...but...don't get too attached, or expect her to be nude for that matter (whaaaat?!?). The after credit scene hints at a sequel...I guess ONE silver lining from COVID-19. At nearly a 2 hour running time, don't waste your time!

Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead
(2017)

Dollar Tree find..and I STILL feel robbed!
That's right, I picked up the Blu Ray + DVD Combo Pack for $1...cover looked cool, I like-y Dinosaurs and also like-y all things "Dead", maybe this is one of those "so bad, its good" films like Sharknado or Lavalantula...ugh, no, no, no! Cheap FX, bad blonde wigs, bad acting, cheap green screen backgrounds & laughable rubber dinosaurs that make the 1960s Godzilla look like an Oscar Nominee for best makeup! Bottom line is...even at $1, I overpaid! I'm too embarrassed to ask for a refund at the DOLLAR TREE, so I'm hoping I can unleash this vile combo set on some unsuspecting fool at my next home Garage Sale! Shooo, I'll even GIVE It away!

Amazing Stories: The Rift
(2020)
Episode 5, Season 1

Best Episode of Season 1
They save the best for last. This is as 'Amazing Stories' as it gets. a WWII pilot transported to modern times through a Rift, and maybe wrapping up some "unfinished business". Definitely hit me in the "feels" more then the other episodes...which is what the original classic series was all about! In the small chance the showrunners I reading this, I hope they make more like THIS and less like S01E02 "The Heat" (worst episode hands down this season). Oh, and give us a "scary" story fix! the original series had a few (like Scorcese's "Mirror Mirror")

Il gatto nero
(1989)

Pure '80s Italian Horror Shlock, nothing more, nothing less!
This is one of those movies that tries hard to have a plot, but kinda veers off in different directions for the sake of horror and imagery. The "Black Cat" title came from the U.S. Producers using their licensing rights...a cat shows up, but nothing to do with the plot! The 'Three Mothers' references are kinda cool (including a small bit of Goblin's main "Suspiria" theme thrown in for good measure), but If anything, this film is closer in spirit to the "Demons" movies by Lamberto Lava..a creepy score, hard rock soundtrack, lots of blood, gore & goo, ugly ghouls & beautiful women, especially the ALWAYS gorgeous Caroline Munro..what more do you need? Just turn your brain off and enjoy it for what it is!

The Halloween That Almost Wasn't
(1979)

Wow, thank you Rifftrax!
I happened to be on the Rifftrax channel on PlutoTV watching Mike, Kevin & Bill riff Manos: The Hands of Fate and what followed after? Something that was deep, deep in my psyche I forgot about for years! Wow, the human mind is a mystery. I wouldve been 5 or 6 years old when this oroginally aired and remember my mom being excited about my watching it.I even remember being scared of the witch. The teenie tiny bat sneaking under the door...omg! I was watching with a HUGE doofy smile on my face the whole runtime as I felt transported back in time many many (many) Halloweens ago (my favorite time of year). That said, this aged HORRIBLY and is beyond cringy, but for nostalgic purposes like most reviews Ive read so far, it's old school, simple fun. Thank you Rifftrax crew for using what looks like an old, beat up VHS tape to riff this TV special! Definitely brought out a hidden memory & why I love Halloween so much!

Dracula
(2020)

Good series, it's just NOT the Dracula story we know & love!
It seems everyone is hating on this show because it starts like the Dracula story we all know, but then takes a violent turn and sways faaaaaar away from the original Bram Stoker story. I'd almost compare this to the film 'Dracula Untold' (which is a guilty pleasure of mine), or the 1990s Syndicated series 'Dracula: The Series' (does anyone remember that one? haha), its BASED on Dracula, but just does its own thing. BBC did something similar with 'A Christmas Carol', but where that was monotone, overly chatty and boring, this one has better pacing, not to mention some great horror moments. That last episode is definitely the weakest link, but is a decent end to this reimagining. I think if you go in with an open mind & NOT expecting the same 'ol retelling of Bram Stoker's novel, you may enjoy it.

Into the Dark: Midnight Kiss
(2019)
Episode 4, Season 2

This season has been mostly "miss", this one keeps that ball rolling dowwwwn
Out of the 4 second season episode/movies so far, the only one that has been entertaining so far is the Thanksgiving themed "Pilgrim", Uncanny Annie was weak (especially given the Halloween theme), A Nasty Piece of Work was a lame "House on Haunted Hill" (original) ripoff & now we have Midnight Kiss....

Firstly, if you like guy-on-guy kissing & sex scenes, it might bring you enjoyment of this episode that much more there's A LOT of it! There's also a lot of fluff and filler that really doesn't move the story along..it draaaaaaags. Everyone of the characters (minus the lone GIRL of the group, go figure) is a "drama queen"....ugh, what an annoying group of friends. The splatter FX looked cheap and amateur at best, and the "twist" at the end was hardly a twist at all, this episode and season so far has been dreadful! A shame too, I considered "Into The Dark" a quality show last season, with the likes of 'The Body', "Pooka!", & "Down" just to name a few..seems the showrunners simply don't care anymore.

The Evil Down the Street
(2019)

5.2 rating?!? Noooo Nooo Nooooo!
Found this on Prime and decided to give it a watch given the synopsis & IMDB rating of the slightly above avg 5.2...obviously the cast & crew must've registered and all voted 9's & 10's, because this movie feels overly long at 97 minutes and OVERLY BORING due to horrible, dull pacing. Its mostly family drama that you can pretty much see everywhere else. There's NO practical or special effects of any kind (in a horror movie?! Wth?!) At one point, during the climax, when the priest and possessed mom are...arguing (I kid you not, I guess this is the exorcism scene), the voice synthesizer changes the priest's voice as well. Whoopsy! The lone redeeming thing in this movie (& gets an extra star) was Alena Gerard (the mom), she's SUPER hot and sexy and kept me watching throughout, unfortunately, no nude scene. I strongly urge you to STAY AWAY!! I'd sooner watch paint dry then rewatch this film ever again!!!

Into the Dark: Pilgrim
(2019)
Episode 2, Season 2

Surprised to see the bad reviews! One of the better 'Into The Dark' episodes!
If you can suspend belief on the premise, the mom hiring some acting Pilgrims to "stay" over the Thanksgiving holiday (strangers in your house...riiiiight), its a very entertaining episode and one of the better ones over the last 2 seasons. The daughter (Reign Edwards) I started off rooting for her to DIE or get TORTURED, she's the definition of a spoiled "screw everybody, its all about ME" millennial and she pulled it off to a tee (and was happy when it was her to turn to suffer a little..haha). Peter Giles as Ethan steals the show IMO. He's eerie and just plain WEIRD as as the leader of the pilgrimage. The story has a bit of a slow built up and that's just FINE with me (I grew up on 70s & 80s horror) and is a PERFECT horror movie for Thanksgiving (we don't have enough of those, plenty of Halloween and Christmas ones). May have to rewatch this one every year around this time!

Ghost Light
(2018)

Great Cast..so-so movie.
With the likes of Tom Riley, Cary Elwes, Carol Kane, Roger Bart & countless others, I thought I was in for a treat. And although it has some funny moments and a few "scares", its neither hilariously funny nor scary creepy. Maybe if you're a big fan of the Theater, Shakespeare and Shakespearean superstition you might appreciate it more, but I found it only mildly entertaining at best.

Skinless
(2013)

I thought it was going to be a cheap C-movie, pleasantly surprised!
I have to admit, caught this on a free AD-based streaming service & had expectations on the floor when I saw it was filmed on video and the sound was "echoey" like some cheap camcorder production...I gave it a chance & have to admit, I enjoyed it! I'll name name some cons that will turn off many off the bat, its obviously done on the cheap ($2,000?! Wow), the main actor is serviceable at best, and it borrows way too much off of The Fly '86, other then that, its a short little horror with plenty of gore & nudity (full bush shot) and some decent horror drama!

Watch If You Dare
(2018)

Amateur Efforts at Best
From the acting to the direction, its just...NOT well done. The one story of the four that had potential (Knob Goblins), was way too short. This movie is very skippable, so do yourself and DO that!

The Legend of Halloween Jack
(2018)

Amateur effort at best. Costume is cool though
Overly long & drawn out dialogue scenes, cap gun sounding gun shots, horribly edited deaths, this movie is pretty bad. I gave it an extra star for the very cool costume the ghoul wears in the movie (would be EPIC come Halloween time). Unfortunately, we don't see much until the very end of the film. Too little too late. Even the film being set around Halloween couldn't save it. Don't waste your time!

Divorce
(2016)

Wow, a reflection of my OWN life almost to a tee (scary)
I just wrapped up the series finale. Sad to see this show end. I myself had a divorce finalize in 2016 (around when the show started) and the parallels are eerie (even dated a Jackie..lol). Whoever wrote this came from MY school...Married young, spent more then half our lives married and now 40 something divorcees with teenagers trying to wiggle out a new solo life we are CLUELESS about. Its not an all out comedy, but at least kept it light hearted (rather then the very dark 'The Affair' on Showtime), and the ending ALSO reflected my current standing with my ex-wife (no spoilers, but if you wrapped up the series, you'll see). not everything is wine & roses, but it doesn't have to be overly complicated and depressing either. There IS life after Divorce (the life event AND the show). Thanks HBO, showrunners, Sarah,Thomas & the rest of the cast & crew for a memorable 3 years! I got this now! ;)

Monday
(2018)

Best of the "Rebel Without a Crew" films! A Fun Ride!
After watching El Rey's "Rebel Without a Crew", I decided to watch all 5 movies, produced by Robert Rodriguez, on a tiny $7,000 budget (similar to how he made his 1st feature, El Mariachi) and write reviews as I watch each one.

Looks like I saved the best for last, because Monday was the best of them all. Perfect blend of action and dark comedy. I can see a bright future for Director Alejandro Montoya Marín and at the end of the "Rebels" TV show I hear he's already at work on "Tuesday"...BRING IT ON! We need a movie series of the WHOLE week!

Grandma's House
(2018)

Great job BK Ryan, a fun & intense little horror flick!
After watching El Rey's "Rebel Without a Crew", I decided to watch all 5 movies, produced by Robert Rodriguez, on a tiny $7,000 budget (similar to how he made his 1st feature, El Mariachi) and write reviews as I watch each one.

Now this one impressed me a little more then the others, just because on the show, director "Bk" Ryan looked like she was losing control of her production. First, to her Assistant Director (who seemed like a know-it-all jerk) & then the deadlines..issues with editing being behind and sound (although the sound is still a little off in some parts). As it turns out, this turned out better then most of the other "Rebel" films. A genuine build up, great character development, good acting! A beautiful female lead that I end up rooting for, the actress playing Grandma also did great! I began legit HATING her. And even a cameo by the director at the end. Great little film that runs a short 70 minutes & ramps up the intensity without ever feeling draggy or boring.

On the Run
(2018)

Its No Star Wars, but it wasn't trying to be! Good for what it is!
After watching El Rey's "Rebel Without a Crew", I decided to watch all 5 movies, produced by Robert Rodriguez, on a tiny $7,000 budget (similar to how he made his 1st feature, El Mariachi) and write reviews as I watch each one.

This one had an interesting premise. The story was well told and the movie well acted, particularly from Star and Director Bola Ogun, plus she's easy on the eyes (lol). Good use of camera tricks. Don't go expecting Star Wars type FX, she had a story to tell and she told it. Ran shorter then I expected at 50 minutes, but I'd rather have a shorter running time then a movie filled with "filler" and "fluff" (*cough* Phaedra *cough*). Hope to see more from this up & coming director as I can see her honing her craft!

Phaedra
(2018)

Boring, overly long & drawn out! Small budget was NO excuse!
After watching El Rey's "Rebel Without a Crew", I decided to watch all 5 movies, produced by Robert Rodriguez, on a tiny $7,000 budget (similar to how he made his 1st feature, El Mariachi) and write reviews as I watch each one. I have to admit, this movie had a lot of unnecessary "fluff" and "padding" time where nothing crucial to the plot is happening. Its dull and quite BORING most of the time (extended disco dance scenes...Zzz). I really was rooting for all these filmmakers to knock it out of the park, but director Scarlet Moreno really needs to learn about proper storytelling and pacing. At 98 Minutes it FEELS like a very drawn out 3 hour film. I can forgive some of this given the minuscule budget, but having watched 'Good Exorcist' done on the same budget by one of Scarlet's fellow first time filmmakers..there's really no excuse.

The Good Exorcist
(2018)

Funny, Creepy and Entertaining on a $7k Budget!
After watching El Rey's "Rebel Without a Crew" TV show, I decided to watch the 5 movies produced by Robert Rodriguez, on a tiny $7,000 budget similar to how he made his 1st feature, El Mariachi, and write reviews as I watch each one. I started with this one and have to say, it'll be tough act to follow.

In this movie, Director Josh Stifter managed to squeeze out elements of Horror, Comedy and even some decent FX. Even the acting was above average (I've seen more expensive movies look cheaper with horrid acting). Reminded me of early Sam Raimi. I see a bright future for Josh and hope to see more from him!

You Might Be the Killer
(2018)

The Mask Meets Friday the 13th!
Odd mix for sure, but these guys made it WORK! A great mix of comedy and horror with a fun "slasher" edge to it! Fran Kranz (Cabin Fever) carries the movie well and Alyson Hannigan (American Pie movies) is great as the horror movie know it all friend on the phone. Love the little details, like the "dirty print" title cards that pop up all the time. Definitely one to watch around Halloween time!

Batman & Bill
(2017)

Batman is my favorite comic book hero & I had NO idea!
You ask me up until this writing who the creator of Batman was and I always said "Bob Kane"...up until this documentary. Truly eye opening and informative..and even a little sad. Bill Finger was an unsung creative hero that helped shape not only the character of Batman, but many of his sidekicks, and villians. If your a fan of comic books, you NEED to watch this doc!

Into the Dark: Treehouse
(2019)
Episode 6, Season 1

Not as bad as everyone is saying!
Granted, it isn't the BEST episode of Into The Dark, but it wasn't as bad as all the 1-star ratings are making it out to be. Has some genuine tension and some parts were kind of creepy...and I didn't see the "twist" at the end coming (all though it was a little TOO perfect). The cast was spot on (although the younger girls can get slightly annoying) & it had a faster pace then the Thanksgiving episode "Flesh & Blood"..although this one didn't have a "holiday" theme, which is a shame. Overall, a decent entry to a series I'm really enjoying!

Halloween at Aunt Ethel's
(2019)

Current high rating is obviously padded by the cast & crew
Just finished this movie on Prime thinking I might be in for a simple, fun Halloween Horror movie, what I got was a poorly acted, crapfest that is arguably the worst horror movie available on Prime. A shame, cause it looks like this movie was filmed around my hometown (Tampa Bay area). I gave it a 2 based on the hot women in this film who aren't ashamed to bear all...otherwise, skip this POS!

Terrifier
(2016)

Short, Gory & to the point..nothing too memorable though
Fun little movie about a creepy stalker clown that chases some people and kills them in gory fashion. Closest movie I'd compare it to in recent times is 'Hatchet'...an almost retro 80s feel, doesn't try to break the mold, quick story set up & on with the killing (except Hatchet did it better IMO). I agree with most that the Terrifier is indeed terrifying with his odd makeup and general creepiness. Be warned, the kills go a little overboard on the gore/blood, so wouldn't recommend watching this at dinner time. Not a BAD movie, but not great either. Thankfully its a short hour & 26 minutes WITH credits, so if your in the mood for a quick gorefest, this is your flick!

The Expedition
(2008)

Worst movie ever?..quite possibly
I know the term "worst movie ever" is used loosely around IMDb (some even use it to describe 'Avatar'), but as an avid horror movie fan, I think I might have found my new "worst movie ever".

5 friends go into an abandoned asylum/hospital around Halloween with cameras in tow a la Blair Witch, they walk around the place through 98% of the movie...an OVERLY LONG 1 hr 47 minutes of NOTHING going on....I mean NOTHING...just people with cameras walking around, to the same "spooky" piano music looped over & over & over & over (& over). The intercut police station scenes?! What a riot! Does anyone pick up the phones in that place?? The ringing phones actually drown out the detective's dialog...I'm NOT kidding. The dialog is also outstanding, such as "Its my job, I'm a detective, I detect"..no, I don't think it was MEANT to be camp, a failed attempt at humor...probably.

If I had one pro to mention, its the abandoned location, but a location alone cannot save a crappy movie! I'd recommend to stay far, FAAAR away! Its more entertaining to watch paint dry! Nigel Hartwell's filmmaking career should END for making such a HORRIBLY BORING film!

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