ersbel

IMDb member since March 2008
    Lifetime Total
    750+
    Lifetime Plot
    25+
    IMDb Member
    14 years

Reviews

Dragon's Dogma
(2020)

OMG! Is this for real?
I was raised to believe that Hollywood is the worse in bad scripts and bad plots and ridiculous stories that have nothing to do with reality. The Japanese hive mind can be so much worse than a B movie branded by one of the Hollywood studios. I ignored the acting, which is of about the same quality as old Hong Kong movies, yet far less entertaining. The story itself is the usual Japanese stereotype with the manly man and the breeder wife who is stupid, but oh so loyal to her shoe salesman of a manly man husband. Also, given the war mongering tradition, the war and violence are something decent that have to inspire the children to sacrifice themselves for the shogun. So no disemboweling, only some dirt put on the faces and tears in the clothing to suggest the battle is over.

Anyway, the logic is amazing. So you have a dragon larger than the biggest building. The soldiers are alive because they are manly men. And now they are going somewhere to wait for the dragon?!? A dragon that is larger than a freight train, not that the characters know what a train is. X Men scripts seem more intelligent with every minute in this series.

Focus
(2015)

Some Hollywood producer has seen an Apollo Robbins show
Some Hollywood producer has seen an Apollo Robbins show. The Apollo Robbins part is correct. The mumbo-jumbo about suggestions and picking wallets with chop sticks, that is the writer paid by the hour. Never mind. The actors are cute, and there is no sex so prude audiences can watch how the fairy tale criminals steal even more than a State Congresscritter.

Swedish Dicks
(2016)

A bad idea
Forced lines, stereotypes. I get that is the point, but I Think You Should Leave does it so much better in any way. So, no, thank you.

The Untold Tales of Armistead Maupin
(2017)

The best documentary in a while, for me
Never heard of Maupin before. NetFlix suggested it to me and I said why not. It starts as a regular documentary. Boring. I was about to close the window and it started to give more about Maupin. The guy is fun! Amusing. So, once more, I said why not. And it turned out to be quite a pleasant experience. A nice story with a nicely done arc. And if I had seen it back in 2018, I would have said 8 out of 10 stars is enough for a well polished biography. But I have seen it in 2021, after the Governments of the world started the Covid measures. 10/10. Thank you for examining that San Francisco!

Bonne nuit Blanche
(2019)

The miracle of quotas
Nextflix has a quota on French productions. Government has a quota on artists who happen to be women. And the result is polite noises from the paying audience and yawns from my living room.

Gainsbourg (Vie héroïque)
(2010)

A strange blend of serveral movies
This feature is a mess. It is a blend of several movies, each in a different register.

One movie is about the fantastic childhood. And to me it is the most pleasurable. In a way it is a The Tin Drum meets Les Quatre-cent coups.

A second movie is somewhat biographical. Which is crap. A story about sex and scandal without any sex so the crap would sell to a more general audience.

A third movie is a sort of reenactment of the guy's songs, the musical documentary he never had. And most probably this is what made the box office with the help of the fans.

I found it amusing how Gainsbourg's childhood drawings are as made by Sfar. And on the plus side, getting foreigners for the parents was a nice touch, although a half-assed touch, as all the movie, because the accents don't match with the real life parents.

Hundraåringen som klev ut genom fönstret och försvann
(2013)

The Ikea Forrest Gump. Far less polished
The guys tried to turn Nils Holgerson into Forrest Gump. And it works, up to a point. The thing is Forrest Gump was not about a guy named Gump, but about the changes of a nation. And the Ikea guys could not follow that. So you get just that: an unreal trip that goes slower than time outside Stockholm.

To make things worse, the life adventure and the money adventure only share a character. They are like two different novels blended together because the scriptwriter did not have enough material for a 90 minute feature.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash
(2002)

A sad Eddie Murphy movie
Yea, 20 minutes in and it's still not funny. Now, if this would be a film with James Mason headlining, I'd give it 10 more minutes to see where the action is going. But, sorry to typecast, this is boring.

Also the girl is cute, but can't act to save her life.

The Minimalists: Less Is Now
(2021)

The sad story of people wanting to belong
This is the sad story of people wanting to belong. Too uniform, too average, too not special. But at least they can follow Marie Kondo and stick it to the consumerist scourge.

Cops and Robbers
(2020)

Nice try
Nice try, but the sudden and often change of style made me tune out. Killer Mike constantly has superior value both in lyrics and videos. Seek Run the Jewels.

Home Game
(2020)

Apparently anyone can make a documentary.
Apparently anyone can make a documentary. Or not. Just having an idea and making interviews with whomever might speak to you is not enough.

Ultras
(2020)

Some guy in Italy thought he can make "This is England"
Some guy in Italy thought he can make "This is England". And failed. A story that is a blend of cameos. Some stock characters that come from nowhere to go nowhere. And the morals of State Religion: the problem lies with the mother who is trying to have a life in the Getto, and not with the Government who made the mess and cultivated the violence.

Boiled Angels: The Trial of Mike Diana
(2018)

10 stars for the idea
I got here by searching for Neil Gaiman on Amazon Prime Videos. And even if it's dramatic that the opinions of a governmental bureaucrat called judge have a precedence over the Constitution or any Laws, this is a happy case. After all Diana seems to be aligned with the mainstream collectivist art-house crowd. If Diana would have been say pro Consumerist or pro Capitalist Romero, Biafra, Gaiman, ACLU wouldn't have touched him with a 10ft pole. Worse, probably they would have helped the Concerned Breeders of America to protect the children.

Fear the Walking Dead
(2015)

A very conventional Zombie series
Quite uncreative, a very conventional Zombie series. It's bad. But people don't see how it is. Bla bla bla. Maybe there is a reason why the original series fast forwarded past this.

The Walking Dead: World Beyond
(2020)

The Walking Dead was about autonomy
The Walking Dead was about autonomy. This series is about the belief in Government. Without it, wow, the bad guys are going to kill grandma.

As for the zombies, there aren't many. Just melodramatic characters, a sort of The Walking Dead Kids. And not much else, besides lots of crying.

Capitani
(2019)

Quite good by European standards
The series is quite good by European standards. And it's reasonable polished, as much as European script writers can. It's interesting how it starts as each episode is one day. But by the 5th episode they lose track and can't keep up.

Also it is captivating, yet who is telling this story? Some times it's the foreign detective. But every ten minutes the writers lose track and have to inject something from a god-view perspective. Which is rather idiotic as it would have been easier to just tell the story instead of all meandering if they have the god-view of what happened.

Finally, I am biased as I was quite curious on the strange Luxembourg language and habits. Yet the substrate of the story is typical European gulag: total submission to the State and its representatives. Yes, the State representatives make mistakes and have their excesses, but that is only because they are merely human and lack the perfection of the Governmental Gods. And, the worst part how the taxpayers are petty vulgarians who needs an outside messiah to bring them to the light.

Beverly Hills Cop
(1984)

I don't remember this one
I have seen it a couple of times. And Murphy was all the reason to see it. Watching it again today and it's clearly a script I am going to forget soon. Yea, Murphy is funny. And the script is not.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
(2011)

The stereotypical Hollywood
If you have a lab coat you are a scientist.

If you "run a business" you must be evil.

Science is a god that doesn't take no.

Profits are evil, hence the special effects and marketing to sell the patchy script.

Genetics are as bendable as the laws of physics, because English majors are equally ignorant in both fields.

It is at times like this when I wonder at the simplicity and honesty of a story like Harry Potter. Because this is a Harry Potter story, but they digitally removed the magical wands and green-screened a Sci-Fi theme.

Live by Night
(2016)

Steam powered high speed car chase and unlimited bullets
The Harry Potter of the crime world: Steam powered high speed car chase and unlimited bullets. It was so ridiculous, at one point I couldn't care less what happens to the characters.

Legend
(2015)

England's attempt at Goodfellas: Lame
The script is rather slow and quite uninteresting. Yea, they had gangsters in the UK as well.

ReMastered: Tricky Dick and the Man in Black
(2018)

Unpleasant government propaganda piece
Cash is okay in all sequences, but the gossip around, always ready to explain the "good" side of politics. Ironically, the Nixon adviser is the most decent, and the "biographer" is the most disgusting. After all the Cash family was poor, but he will feel the need to explain how they had no hope without FDR giving them government handouts.

Tonari no Totoro
(1988)

Cute, but during production the have lost the story
The characters are quite believable. The premise is quite interesting. And it all falls flat as it ends up without any evolution.

Bajocero
(2021)

Racist fairy tales
Sure, the mobsters are from Eastern Europe. And the prison is the writer's grandma's inn. Prisoners are doing whatever, in sync with the strong right wing agenda promoted by the movie. How do you know a guy is bad? He has 200 prostitutes from Eastern Europe. Of course, they will announce the prisoners after the cops are in the main building and than the dangerous will be checked the way the director would like to check a team of junior soccer players. Luckily for the Spanish public, the cop is not corrupt, he is a true angel protecting democracy or something.

50M2
(2021)

The characters a nicely drawn
The characters are nicely drawn. The story, like all Turkish drama is long. A two episode special blown up in 8 episodes. The ugly part is the story itself: love the Government, fear the business as it will kill you.

Pretend It's a City
(2021)

Pretentious navel gazing
Pretentious navel gazing. Quite an unpleasant fractured discussion. I get why some people enjoy this sort of show, but that's not for me.

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