systemactor

IMDb member since May 2008
    Lifetime Total
    5+
    IMDb Member
    11 years

Reviews

Fly Me to the Moon
(2008)

garbage
this is what you would get if you allowed a 10 year old (manic American) to write a story of a moon trip. Absolute garbage with no redeeming qualities Maybe it held some fascination in the 3D dept. but as a narrative and entertaining animation it held nothing to make wasting an hour and a half worth while. Save your time and money and watch BOLT instead

Damn. Not enough lines, yet I feel that sums it up... well, I agree with an above review - this is like a cold-war propaganda story. Maybe it would have been more interesting if they had made it about the flies uncovering the hoax of the moon landing, or if the flies had died in the first minute. BTW - why were all the main character flies deformed? - not one had the full compliment of limbs!

The Midnight Meat Train
(2008)

barker bastardized - AGAIN!
Firstly = Celeste Leger should be shot - Anyone who casts Vinnie Jones in ANY film should be. I know Americans think the whole "method acting" and similar cheap versions of stanislavski's system is the be-all and end-all of acting, but Jones' attempts at performance are laughable. In fact, seeing him cast in a story "based" on Barker's work is also cry-able.

Next up against the wall would be Jeff Buhler - did this dweeb even READ the story? Another of those idiots who sees the title, HEARS the outline and then thinks he can do better. I long for the days of Hellraiser (the original) when Clive took the reins himself and produced a piece of work that complimented his narrative idea.

This is just garbage - and I wish someone would wake the meister of fantasy horror up and make him look at what is being done to his masterpieces.

After seeing this I am saddened to say, I hope they never put Everville, Weaveworld or The Great and Secret Show on celluloid (or even whatever DVD format they used here)

Superhero Movie
(2008)

surprising
For the first time in a long time, they have managed to make a spoof movie that works! If you have seen Epic Movie, Date Movie, Pledge This and the other major disappointments of the last couple of years, do not worry! The film you have been looking for is here! With superbly executed parody, intelligent observational humour, and the actors (barr Nielson) playing it straight; Superhero works on just about all levels. It even works as a film in its own right!

With the major narrative being based on the Spiderman Movie, this film incorporates touches from other such features, but not as badly as Robin Hood Men In tights did: they are integrated with aplomb and subtlety. The added touches (reminiscent of the Naked Gun movies) with celebrity look-alikes being hurt is amusing; but the major laughs are in the SM spoofing. I will not mention individual scenes, as they work best when not telegraphed or looked for; but you will see them, recognise them, and probably wet yourself because of them. :P Very enjoyable. Watch, laugh and watch again

The Mist
(2007)

less than the usual king tripe
Bad filming (trying to make it look documentary with non-steadycam shooting, and daft angles)this story (unusual for king, whose style usually is a fair lead-in to a disappointing "well, i had no idea how they could win so the monster left" ending - and in the book they are just driving away with no conclusion: in this Frank Darabont installs an ironic {although telegraphed} ending) Maybe it does owe much to Carpenter's Fog; but the producers would have been wiser to spend the money ( a fraction of it) of an adaptation of James Herbert's Fog instead. What with the poor meta-narrative, the poor acting, the inconsistency of plot (they all stay in the supermarket for safety, then they seem to forget the threat when they need to unblock a vent! And they see the insectoids are attracted to the little lights in the window, so they turn them off and light floodlights! The main character predicts what will happen with the fire-and-brimstone-cliché preacher nutter, yet is surprised when it does happen! and they leave the supermarket with hand held lights; immediately after the bug attack!!{yet when they drive, the car is illuminated like Vegas, and not one bug comes to them then!} duh!!) and the amount of actors with incomprehensible lisps: this film is a dire and painful waste of time. Fine for yanks and others with mental-shortcomings. Shame King has so much money he can finance this crap.

The Golden Compass
(2007)

a pleasant viewing experience
I am not going to say much about this movie: watched it last night and enjoyed it thoroughly. The visual effects are beautifully executed, and the way the characters interact with the CGI is perfect.

However, beyond the enjoyment of the movie I have to say, the one thing that stood out was Dakota Blue Richards: a young actress with such screen presence and believability in her portrayal of Lyra that I hope she will be picked up and engaged by many studios. A lot of acting comes through the eyes, and in this young actress' eyes was a world of wonder and vision.

I look forward to the next instalment. Unlike Adam1494, I have never read the books, so I had no preconceptions. I do know that most every film you see based on a book you have read is a disappointment (from Starship troopers through to Harry potter); but sometimes you have to realise the limitations of celluloid (or disc, whatever) and accept the attempts of a producer to bring a massive volume to a few minutes of imagery.

I would recommend this film to anyone - young or old - and happily watch it again. Charming, smooth and engaging.

Better Off Dead...
(1985)

genius
THE funniest movie ever made: and sadly the least known.

For whatever reason, this movie slipped past recognition by the majority, and has faded into obscurity; yet many of the great pieces have been stolen (borrowed?) by other movies, such as Men at Work, to the proclamation of "Sheer brilliance"; yet this is the originator, and best, of all of them.

John Cusack shows where his real talents laid: in comedy - his perfect timing, dead-pan facials and vocal intonations make the character believable yet totally "out there".

"Savage" Steve Holland created a masterpiece here - with wonderful integration of fantasy/thought displays (via animation etc) and observational comedy (the class "home work" scene struck such a chord with me, and maths classes when I was a kid) as well as damn-right absurdism. His follow-up work (One Crazy Summer) was slightly recognised by a few, as a clever romantic-comedy, yet this far exceeded it in every way. But the genius behind both has been relegated to the world of TV programmes. A total waste of talent. Just like John Cusack doing gangster movies etc: their forte is obviously here: in the world of inspired and brilliant comedies.

If you do one thing in your life, make 90 minutes available to see this - preferably with friends: when I watched this with my elder brother (a straight-laced scientist) seeing tea spray from his nose as John Cussack's dinner crawled off his plate made the humour all the more appealing. 11/10 at all levels

St. Trinian's
(2007)

utter drivel
This film is THE prime example why private drama schools should not be allowed to exist: it is full of selfagrandising, character-ignoring,shouting spoiled kids - Russell Brand being the worst of the lot. In fact, nearly the whole cast of schoolgirls could be the result if ever Brand and Jade Goodey ever bred (for your sanity's sake, don't visualise it!) There were a couple of exceptions - sadly they were not the "celebrity actors" who for god-knows-what reason agreed to be in this tripe, choosing to play as if in a panto. And really, I will not name them for fear you may be tempted to watch this appalling waste of light and shadow, then curse me.

The original St Trinians films were no great scholastic works, admittedly; but with the likes of Alastair Simm and George Cole carrying them, they were pleasant times of suspension-of-disbelief.

I think this movie could create a new term in movie critiques: "Branded" - to be brought to the lowest point by a talentless person who went through a drama course purely on the strength of their parent's bank balance.

Truly: avoid this Branded film and watch great British movies like Simon Pegg's offerings, or even your video-recorded kids' school plays

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