Gavintheman
Lifetime Total
10+
Lifetime Trivia
10+
IMDb Member
21 years
Reviews
Xtro (1982)
What is this Crap?
When my Mates parents hired this film back in 1983, they told me even before even watching it that is was even more gory than Evil dead. After just viewing it, All i can say is WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?.
Here is the story, at least what I think the story is. Man and child are playing in backyard when it suddenly goes dark and they see a strange light. Man gets dragged into the strange light and is never seen again for 3 years. The boys mum finds a new love and no one will believe the boy about the abduction. OK THATS THE EASY PART. Man returns in a bright light as a monster, kills a couple driving by and then breaks into a blonde ladies house, attacks her and gets inside her. Then in a really sick sequence, breaks out of her vagina in a really gory way and PRESTO, he looks just like his old self again. he then tracks down his former wife and child and moves in with them. Naturally the new lover isn't happy. NOW IT GETS REAL STRANGE. Man possesses boy and boy makes a toy clown and toy soldier come to life in full size and kill whoever he desires. Then sister is killed by the clown, Boyfriend is chased by a toy tank which fires deadly shots and then is later killed by a panther???..annoying neighbour(who also killed boys snake) is hacked up by the soldier, and lastly hotel clerk goes upstairs and knocks on the door and walks off (How this constituted a death sentence is anyone guess). As he is going down the elevator, he gets off into a dark room where a spinning yo yo or something cuts his throat?????????. Meantime mother and alien dad are screwing at the cottage where he starts to slowly transform. meantime lover and boy are making there way there (By this point in the film, I was really starting to hate the boy). By this point boy and father are now disintegrating and making there way to the spaceship. The father melts the new lovers brain and mummy cries as they leave. AT the end the mother who presumably is now an alien herself to goes into the bathroom (which is well lit up)where all the pods are, picks one up and gets killed???????????.
If this makes no sense to you, it made even less to me. This is almost like like the 2001 of horror's. Not because its good, in fact its absolutely terrible. Just that like 2001, its makes no sense and has well lit rooms like you see at the end of 2001.
My simple advice is...AVOID THIS CRAP AT ALL COSTS...IT AINT WORTH YOUR MONEY
Here is the story, at least what I think the story is. Man and child are playing in backyard when it suddenly goes dark and they see a strange light. Man gets dragged into the strange light and is never seen again for 3 years. The boys mum finds a new love and no one will believe the boy about the abduction. OK THATS THE EASY PART. Man returns in a bright light as a monster, kills a couple driving by and then breaks into a blonde ladies house, attacks her and gets inside her. Then in a really sick sequence, breaks out of her vagina in a really gory way and PRESTO, he looks just like his old self again. he then tracks down his former wife and child and moves in with them. Naturally the new lover isn't happy. NOW IT GETS REAL STRANGE. Man possesses boy and boy makes a toy clown and toy soldier come to life in full size and kill whoever he desires. Then sister is killed by the clown, Boyfriend is chased by a toy tank which fires deadly shots and then is later killed by a panther???..annoying neighbour(who also killed boys snake) is hacked up by the soldier, and lastly hotel clerk goes upstairs and knocks on the door and walks off (How this constituted a death sentence is anyone guess). As he is going down the elevator, he gets off into a dark room where a spinning yo yo or something cuts his throat?????????. Meantime mother and alien dad are screwing at the cottage where he starts to slowly transform. meantime lover and boy are making there way there (By this point in the film, I was really starting to hate the boy). By this point boy and father are now disintegrating and making there way to the spaceship. The father melts the new lovers brain and mummy cries as they leave. AT the end the mother who presumably is now an alien herself to goes into the bathroom (which is well lit up)where all the pods are, picks one up and gets killed???????????.
If this makes no sense to you, it made even less to me. This is almost like like the 2001 of horror's. Not because its good, in fact its absolutely terrible. Just that like 2001, its makes no sense and has well lit rooms like you see at the end of 2001.
My simple advice is...AVOID THIS CRAP AT ALL COSTS...IT AINT WORTH YOUR MONEY
Twister (1996)
WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM
Ever since this films release in 1996, its very title has become synonymous with Bad films. Its been labelled stupid, loud, dumb and every other thing you can think of. Whilst I admit that the script aint hot and there's no real story in the film, the action is great, the special effects are brilliant, the film moves fast and provides a slambang rocking good ride. Im sorry that more films like this are not made. I love this film. When i saw it at the theatre, i was blown away (no pun intended). Bill paxton does a good job in the lead (yeah people have said that he is dull and that they should have found someone with more charisma. PUHLLLEASSSEEE). I'll watch this film a thousand times between now and the day I die. And for all the geniuses out there who call this film Crap. I hope you all get swept up in a windstorm, I really do. GREAT JOB JAN DEBONT