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Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

It was fine for 3/4 of it.
John C. Reilly brings life to Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. That's a good line. Cause he plays a vampire. The Vampire's assistant is a better film than I expected it to be. I was expecting cheesy effects, un-funny lines, and other things. But as it actually is, the effects were kind of cheesy, and there are some really big laughs.

This is a film from director Paul Weitz, or Chris, who co-directed American Pie. This is the first time he's directed a movie by himself. He doesn't do that bad of a job I might add. I read the second book in the series, so I guess I never read the book about this. The Vampire's assistant is good fun for at least 3/4 of the way. But the last part of it is just annoying.

Newcomer Chris Massoglia stars as Darren Shan, a teenager who is given an invitation to a freak show. Him and his annoying friend Steve(played by the always annoying Josh Hutchinson)attend, and soon Darren meets Mr. Crepsley(played greatly by John C. Reilly), a vampire.

When Steve is bitten by Crepsley's spider, Crepsley makes him a deal that he has to become his assistant. Eventually, Steve wants revenge and becomes evil cause he hates his life and other stuff happens.

The Vampire's assistant works for 3/4 of the way. It's the last part that really crumbles. The last part of the movie is pretty stupid. Mostly do to Hutchinson's character. I don't think he's a good actor period.

The cast is good. Such as Willem Defoe, Salma Heyak, and I think there's somebody else but I can't think of anyone. John C. Reilly is very funny. And it's an entertaining movie. But the last part of the film is cheesy, and annoying. I have hope for a sequel, though it most likely won't happen do to how much money it made. I still thought it was fun though.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant:B-

Everybody's Fine

De Niro is great, but the movie alone is just cold.
Robert De Niro stars as a widowed father in Everybody's fine, a remake of an Italian film. De Niro's acting in the movie is more than fine. Him and Drew Barrymore are very good. In some cases performances can make a movie. Well, De Niro is one of those actors that makes a movie work. But, unfortunately, the movie doesn't really work.

I think that the film would be fine if it wasn't so shallow. Yes I said shallow. 3/4 of the film is shallow. I mean throughout most of the film his children are ignoring him deliberately. I mean these people are harsh.

De Niro stars as a widowed father who invites his grown up kids(played by Kate Beckinsale, Drew Barrymore, and Sam Rockwell)to his house for a reunion. But they all cancel out on him. So he leaves his house, and visits his kids. But there is a horrible truth about the other child that they try to keep a secret.

De Niro is pretty terrific in every movie he's in. From Goodfellas to even Stardust. And he is the only thing that brings life to this movie. This film seemed pretty shallow. Everyone besides Drew Barrymore and De Niro were unlikable. Barrymore is pleasant in anything. She is here too.

The movie is really shallow. It's never exactly a good idea to tell someone bad news when they're in a coma. The film may not be perfection. But De Niro keeps it from doom. And the ending is sweet. And by the end you will have a little smile on your face. I did.

Everybody's fine: B-

The Wolfman

To some surprise, I loved it.
Benicio Del tor and Anthony Hopkins star in The Wolfman. I love films like this. Horror movies based on classics. I was a fan of The Mummy remake, Van Helsing if you'd call it one, and Sleepy Hollow. Well, I liked it more than The Mummy and Van Helsing, but I can't quite say that it was better than Sleepy Hollow.

The wolfman is a well made film. There is a lot to admire about this film. Such as the film's beautiful setting. The Wolfman has some terrific action sequences and a cheesy one. But here you can forgive them for a cheesy action sequence.

The Wolfman kind of aims for cheesiness. When it comes to blood and violence. You could even compare it to The Evil dead but not quite as extreme. There is quite a bit of violence here, but some of it is so extreme it's kind of funny. The Mummy or Van Helsing never really had that much violence. Sleepy Hollow and The wolfman, on the otherhand, do, and that's why they are better.

Benicio Del Toro plays Lawrence Talbot, an American who returns to his house in a Victorian era England. Where he finds out that his brother Ben has been murdered. But nobody knows who or what did it. So Lawrence promises Ben's girlfriend Gwen(played by the always likable Emily Blunt)that he will find whatever or whoever killed his brother.

Eventually, Lawrence finds out that the thing behind his brother's death is a werewolf. And soon Lawrence is bitten by it. Eventually, while he is a werewolf, Lawrence finds out secrets about his father(played by Anthony Hopkins) and his family. And he is on the run from the police(led by the terrific Hugo Weaving).

To some surprise, I loved this film. I loved it's cheesy occasional violence and it's cast and it's awesome action sequences. In some movies like this you can't exactly compliment on the acting. Well, I will compliment everyone here. The film was very well made and written. This is from the writer of Seven, so you can't be too surprised. Forget team Edward or Jacob, go team Wolfman.

The wolfman: A

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Flawed, but I have hope for a sequel.
Nowadays, it seems to me like it's hard to find a film that's not based on a novel. There are so many. Not only is it based on a novel, it's based on some kid's fantasy story. Those can be good sometimes. Well, really, most of the time. Really, i'm not up for team Edward or team Jacob or any of that stupidity. I'm for team Harry Potter. Some films that have been based on a children's novel never got a sequel. A series of unfortunate events never got one. I loved that movie. I hope Percy Jackson does.

To start off, I will say that I didn't love it. I think it has it's flaws, but really, it's not great. There is stuff to admire here. Such as the cast. I will admit that I liked this film more than the original Harry Potter. But I didn't love it.

Logan Lerman, a likable actor, stars as Percy Jackson, a kid with a troubled life. He has dyslexia, and his mom(played by the always great Catherine Keener)is married to a slob(played by the always great Joe Poli- something. I've never been able to spell that last name.)One day, after an attack at a museum, things start to unfold. Percy realizes that his friend Grover(played by Tropic thunder's Brandon T. Jackson)is a creature and so is one of his teachers(played by the always likable Piece Brosnan). Him and his mother escape and eventually she is kidnapped.

He is eventually taken to a camp where he trains and eventually meets a female who they at first attack each other and predictably fall in love. Eventually, Percy finds out that his mother is in the underworld. So Percy and his friends set off on a quest to find his mother.

There are some neat special effects here and some cool action sequences. At one point the movie is kind of trippy. I found there to be a lot of wit involved too. Trust me you won't be bored by this movie.

But like most movies, there is flaws. One problem was that some of the dialogue is kind of cheesy. Another is that the film is a little long. But the main problem is that there is a big cast, a great one too, but most of the actors don't get enough screen time. I mean here we have Piece Brosnan, Uma Thurman, Rosario Dawson, Sean Bean, Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, and others and only like two of them are in it for more than a scene. That was my main flaw. But if you couldn't care less about it, then ignore what I have to say and indulge yourself in this movie.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief: B+

Broadway Danny Rose

Starts off a little slow, but works.
Woody Allen and Mia Farrow were once married. Eventually, they adopted an Asian girl. And supposedly when she turned 17 Allen had an affair with her. That was years ago. That might have even been after the period when Allen had filmed the film Broadway Danny Rose.

In Broadway Danny Rose you see Allen and Farrow fall in love with each other. And you think, well, he made a mistake. Of course he did. He cheated on his wife for a 17 year old Asian. Allen is a weird guy. He went from Diane Keaton, to Mia Farrow, to an Asian girl, to Scarlett Johanson. The guy needs to make up his mind.

I started watching Broadway Danny Rose and was a little bored by it. It's only an 84 minute film. I didn't really see it going anywhere. But it does. And then I started to have good feelings about it. and at the end, I was happy I saw it.

Allen stars as Danny Rose, a loser agent that tries to actually keep a client. A musician named Lou. Lou says that the only way he will go on is if his mistress Tina(played by Mia Farrow) comes and sees him.

So Rose goes to find Tina and follows her to a gangster's house. Where he is under the impression that Rose and Tina are together. But all Rose is trying to do is bring Tina to the show. And eventually, once they leave, the gangster sends his brothers to go and find these two. And Tina and Danny are on the run.

Broadway Danny Rose is a very funny and entertaining film once it picks itself up. I love all of Allen's films. And when I started it I wasn't too amazed but in the end it turned out very good. We all know that in Allen's films he always adds a case of unrealistic in them. In some of them. this is one of those. But you don't mind them being unrealistic. Because when they are unrealistic, they are a lot of fun.

Broadway Danny Rose: A-

Melinda and Melinda

A realistic romantic dramedy with a spectacular cast.
Radha Mitchell plays a woman with a troubled past in Melinda & Melinda. Radha Mitchell is a little known actress. I have only seen her in three films. And I must say that I have enjoyed all of those. But in those films you never really see much acting from her. In Melinda & Melinda, Mitchell shines.

Woody Allen yet again shows that all of his films are great. This is another one. This is a unique one too. Allen here demonstrates a good use in story telling and shows that he's not only great at romantic comedies, but at romantic dramedies too. He can do anything. He can even do murder mystery. But I think he really shines with drama. My favorite Allen film, Match point(which Woody Allen even says is his favorite), was spectacular.

Melinda & Melinda is a story told in two different formats. One is a drama and the other is a comedy. In the drama and the comedy, Melinda(played by Radha Mitchell) barges in at a dinner party. A woman with a troubled past. In the comedy, she's a woman who walks in after taking 28 sleeping pills. In the drama, she's a woman with a troubled past that goes to stay with her old friend(played by Chloe Sevigny).

In both she stays with the couples(in the comedy played by Will Ferrel and Amanda Peet and in the drama Chloe Sevigny). In the comedy, an out of work actor(played by Ferrell) wants Melinda, but doesn't want to hurt his wife. In the other, her friend tries to hook Melinda up, but falling in love with him.

You sort of know that one is not going to end happy. Out of the two formats, you will be more interested in the comedy. Will Ferrell is funny as the actor. And there are a couple of cameos such as Josh Brolin and Steve Carrell.

All of the acting is very good. This is a film that shows you that life isn't nice sometimes. But you can take my word for it, you will be very entertained. A lot of stuff happens. The comedy side seems like original Allen, and so does the drama. It's nice to see. Until the end. The drama end isn't too nice. But neither is life. See it.

Melinda & Melinda: A-

Jurassic Park

Steven Spielberg is a director that tends to do films that have something groundbreaking. For instance, Jaws became the scariest film of all time. Not only cause the film is realistic and horrifying as it is, but because people still think about it when they go in the water today. Hell, I do.

Jurassic Park was a groundbreaking film do to it's spectacular special effects. At the time, they were like nothing anyone had ever seen before. And it won the best visual effects award. It deserved it. Now days, Spielberg could remake Jurassic park and use the same special effects, but make them better. But Spielberg knows that what he did was art, and he wouldn't bother with it again.

Jurassic Park is based on the Michael Crichton novel about a group of explorers who go to a new theme park for a preview and everything goes wrong when it breaks down and all of the cloned dinosaurs run free around the island.

In both Jurassic Park films that Spielberg did, he has one scene in both that I find disturbing. In the first one, it's Wayne Knight's death scene. Every time I see it that part always creeps me out. Jurassic Park really works cause of it's spectacular special effects. Spielberg is a genius no matter what. It's a shame he doesn't do as much nowadays. He's done so many classics. I want to see more from him.

Jurassic Park: A

Schindler's List

A terrific film about horrific events.
Some people believe that Adolf Hitler was possessed by the devil. Well, that may sound ridiculous to some but actually not to me. There is no way someone could be so evil. There have been a couple of films to show how sick he was. One of them was The Great escape. another was the revenge fantasy Inglourious Basterds. Both terrific films. One film that I will never forget(those two aren't forgettable)is Schindler's list, which won best picture in 1993.

Schindler's list is probably one of the best films i've ever seen. It has such a great story. It's at times very disturbing. Oskar Schinlder was a great guy. Excluding the fact that he was a part of the Nazi party. But he risked his life for the Jews, with knowing that he'd get in trouble. Schindler's list is a devastating film.

Steven Spielberg has been making classic films for many, many years. He is a genius. I have only seen one of his films that i've disliked. Artificial intelligence. My favorite of his is Raiders of the lost ark. Then Schindler's list. The film may be three hours long. Sometimes when it's a three hour film I can't bear it anymore. Such as Transformers 2. But if it's Lord of the rings, or Gandhi, or Schindler's list, there is no way that I will call the length a flaw.

Liam Neeson plays a great guy named Oskar Schindler, a business man in the Nazi party. He soon opens up a factory in Poland. When he realizes what the Nazi's are doing to the Jews, Oskar and his friend(the always great Ben Kingsley)hire Jews to work in the factory to keep them out of concentrations camps.

Ralph Feinnes stars as a sadistic Nazi who really just kills anyone. For instance there is a scene when there is a Jew walking through the street and he shoots her. Embeth Davidz stars as his slave.

Nazis were sadistic, power hungry, fame seeking bastards. Every time I watch Inglourious Basterds, I think, if only this were based on the truth. If only Hitler was shot to death inside a movie theater. But Schindler's list is based on a true story. Oskar Schindler was a great man. He saved the lives of about 1100 Jews. This is one of the best films I have ever seen. I think. This is a brutal film. And, unlike many films, it actually nearly got a tear out of me. That rarely happens. And when it does, it's either because the film is truly spectacular or because it's just a sad film. Well, in the Schindler's list case, it could really go either way.

Schindler's list: A

Mighty Aphrodite

Strange, but very funny.
Woody Allen stars as an adoptive parent in Mighty Aphrodite. Mighty Aphrodite is a hilarious film, with many strange things in it. Kind of like Allen's 2006 film, Scoop. There are just many odd things about it. Including musical numbers. And things including Greek stuff.

Allen's movies are usually very funny. and the man is a genius. The plot alone to this film sounds funny. The film has many good performances. But the one that was looked at the most was Mira Sorvino. I can only think of two films that she has starred in. I loved them both. She is terrific in this movie. So is Woody Allen of course. But Sorvino is something else. I mean she won the Oscar.

Woody Allen and Helena Bonham Carter star as a couple looking to adopt children. They adopt a boy and name him Max. Years go on and they find out Max is a genius. So Allen's character goes off and tries to find the parents. He soon meets the mother(played excellently by Mira Sorvino) and finds out that she's a hooker and a porn star. He soon starts to get to know her, and his life kind of falls apart too.

I don't know what it is with Woody Allen's films. But I can rarely ever find a flaw with them. I mean even his ones that didn't do well, such as Scoop and Whatever works. I just love them all. I have a hard time finding flaws with his films. The only flaw with this one is that there are some strange moments. There is. The same thing with Scoop though. I love Woody Allen's films. The guy may be a pervert, but his films are genius.

Mighty Aphrodite: A-

Serious Moonlight

Though has some familiar things to it, still definitely worth watching.
Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton star yet again in a romantic comedy, not called French kiss but Serious moonlight. Serious moonlight has a couple of little flaws but really I didn't have much of a problem with it. Though the ending is predictable, the film still works, even for a romantic comedy.

Nowadays, romantic comedies are overly clichéd and have many flaws. Though I enjoy a couple of them. Such as My life in ruins, The Proposal, (500) days of Summer, and unlike anyone else, I enjoyed What happens in Vegas. The genre has kind of expired when it comes to predictability. But Serious moonlight, though predictable, works cause of the charm between the two stars and it's hilarious.

Meg Ryan stars as Louise, a lawyer who realizes that her husband(played by Timothy Hutton) is having an affair. So she decides to tape him up and hold him hostage to make him fall in love with her again. But they are put in a bad situation when they are both held hostage together.

The film is very funny. From both actors. Meg Ryan may look a little different, but she's still America's sweetheart. The film has little flaws. One of them is the fact that some of it isn't entirely original. Hutton's character is cheating on her, and is flying off to Paris. That is mainly it. Serious moonlight is an impressive directorial debut from Cheryl Hines(Curb your enthusiasm).This is a highly enjoyable film. See it. Oh, and I didn't understand the title. That's it.

Serious moonlight: 4/5

Hard Candy

A smart thriller.
Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson star in Hard candy, a smart thriller that will make you cringe, laugh, and will blow you away. The performances will, so will the movie itself. I don't know when Ellen Page started her career. I think it was with this film. I don't know where Patrick Wilson started his either, but both of these actors are terrific. They are terrific both together and by themselves.

Page, already nominated for an Oscar in her life, is a terrific actress. If this is indeed her first film, then she must've been genius her entire career. Patrick Wilson, i've never seen before this. But i've always liked him. This is a smart thriller that works. See it.

Hard candy: A-


An improvement on Annie Hall.
Annie Hall was a classic that came out in 1978. I nearly loved it excluding the fact that it was slow. A year later, Manhattan was released. I loved it a lot more to some surprise. It actually turned out to be one of my top favorite Woody Allen films.

My favorite Woody Allen film is Match point. In second place must be Manhattan. Cause it's so funny, so interesting, and very entertaining and in the end I haven't witnessed something so romantic in a Woody Allen film.

The acting is all very good. Especially from Woody Allen and Mariel Hemingway. Allen here isn't a good guy, but a likable character. Hemingway, nominated for an Oscar in this movie, is adorable. I wonder what else she was in. She looks horribly familiar.

Manhattan is a black and white film about a guy named Isaac(played by Woody Allen). Isaac is dating a seventeen year old(played by Mariel Hemingway)who he doesn't love. He has an ex-wife(played by a younger Meryl Streep)is a lesbian and is writing a book about their marriage. And Isaac has a crush on his best friend's girlfriend(played by Diane Keaton). Who at first he doesn't like and then grows onto her.

Allen's character is a bad person. But he plays his usual goofy self so he's likable. You don't get that much from Diane Keaton as you did in Annie Hall. But the film's plot and everything is better than Annie Hall, which I still thought was an excellent film. Allen is a genius director and actor. Like all of his movies, Manhattan is worth seeing.

Manhattan: A

Law Abiding Citizen

Cape fear 2: The silenced lambs
Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx star in Law abiding citizen. A film that I liked more than I thought I would. But I still didn't entirely like it. Law abiding citizen should've been renamed Cape fear 2: The Silenced lambs. Bercause it lacks originality.

Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a man who watches his family murdered in front of his eyes. The killer, who you don't know much about besides the fact that he's a murderer, is only in jail for 3 years. Yes, justice can be that blind.

10 years later The murderer is tortured by Mr. Shelton himself. And Clyde is thrown in jail. While in jail, he plays mind games with his old attorney Nick Rice(an annoying performance by Jamie Foxx). While Clyde is in jail, murders involving the people in the case from years ago are being murdered. But how are they being murdered by him if he's in prison?

While watching Law abiding citizen, I hate to say that I was entertained. Cause I never wanted to see it. But while I was watching it I realized that it wasn't that bad. I knew it was flawed though. Jamie Foxx annoyed me, and you don't know why this person murdered Clyde's family. And the fact that they make Gerard Butler's character seem like a villain was a little annoying too. But overall, it wasn't that terrible.

Then, the film got to a close. And I experienced one of the worst endings in my life. I hated the ending. Immediately, my opinion on Law abiding citizen changed. I was originally going to give it a mild thumbs up. Now I must say, well, skip it.

Law abiding citizen: C+

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

One of Woody Allen's best.
Woody Allen has done some great films. I haven't given one of them less than a 9. Cause they are all either hilarious, very interesting, or very suspenseful. That is why Vicky Cristina Barcelona is one of my favorite Woody Allen films. It's hilarious, very interesting, dramatic, and towards the end very suspenseful.

The film was only nominated for one Oscar. Penelope Cuz was nominated for best supporting actress as Javier Bardem's crazy ex-wife. She deserved that Oscar. And she won it. She really deserved it. The performances are top notch, and so is the film itself.

The film is about two women, Vicky and Cristina(played by Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johanson), who take a trip down to Spain for vacation. While there, they meet a painter named Juan Antonio(played by Javier Bardem), who has had a crazy past involving his ex-wife. He asks them to go off with him to another part of Spain. Vicky is engaged and hates the sound of it. But Cristina is a slut who really wants to go.

They go off with him anyways. But things don't go very well. Vicky and him sleep together, but he never wants to get back with her again. And eventually, Cristina and Juan Antonio hook up and Vicky gets married. None of them are really happy. Vicky still wants Juan Antonio secretly, and Cristina isn't happy cause his ex wife(played by Penelope Cruz) starts to live with them.

The film is very funny. And the ending is very crazy. Overall, I loved this film. This is probably my second favorite Woody Allen film behind Match point. The acting in every one of his films is usually spectacular, and this is a spectacular film.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: A


Though strange, I really liked it.
Woody Allen had quite the comeback in 2006. He released Match point, which was my favorite of his films. Then later on that year he released another suspense like movie called Scoop. The film is a comedy until the genius end. In which the film takes a serious turn.

With Match point, Allen made a film that starts off a romance, then turns to a drama, then turns it into a suspense. He does a similar thing here. The film is a murder/mystery comedy to start off with, then it changes into a suspense kind of.

Scoop is about a woman named Sondra(played by Scarlett Johanson).Sondra is a journalist student. One day she goes to a magic show in which she sees a ghost(played by Ian Mcshane) that tells her about a huge scoop involving a billionaire(played by Hugh Jackman) being a murderer.

Sondra teams up with the magician(played by Woody Allen) to try and solve the mystery. Sondra soon meets the billionaire, and she starts to see him. Obviously that could cause a problem. The magician is pretending to be her father, and she soon starts to suspect that he's not a killer.

I enjoyed the film. From it's strange beginning with the Grim reaper, to the suspenseful and awesome ending. I am so glad that Allen has started doing films again. Cause he's a real genius. The acting is all very good. There are some really funny moments, and I was interested by the entire film. Though a little strange, still very enjoyable.

Scoop: A-

The Time Traveler's Wife

Better than any Nicolas Sparks movie i've seen.
Nowadays lots of romantic dramas are being released. Most of them are written by Nicolas Sparks. And most of them end up being depressing. Those are mostly by Nicolas Sparks. Cause all of his novels must be sad. Well, The Time traveler's wife luckily wasn't written by Nicolas Sparks, and it's better than any film of his that i've seen.

Nicolas Sparks' films are so gay. They are all so predictable and slow. The Time traveler's wife wasn't a novel written by Nicolas Sparks, it's not as dramatic, and it's better than any film of his i've seen.

The Time traveler's wife is a film based on a novel. The film is about a man named Henry(played by the always likable Eric Bana)who has the ability to time travel involuntarily. It's a birth defect. This defect effects his marriage to Claire(played by the always lovable Rachael Mccadams), who he's known since she was a little girl, cause they never really get to see each other. So they cherish the moments that they have together.

The time traveler's wife has good performances and I was entertained. The thing that made it work mostly was Rachael Mccadams. She's the only reason why I watched the movie. But she was very good. The film didn't really have many flaws. It's main one is that occasionally I was a little confused. that was it. Other than that there really wasn't too much wrong with it. The ending is sad but everything works out in the end. I like a happy ending. I liked this film.

The Time traveler's wife: 4/5

Annie Hall

A very good film, but I think Woody Allen has done better.
Woody Allen has done some great films. Even today he still has it. Annie Hall, which won best picture back in 1977, was a very good film. But I don't think it's Allen's best. My favorite Woody Allen film is 2006's Match point, cause it wasn't very slow, and it was very entertaining.

Allen's a genius. I haven't seen one of his films that I haven't found enjoyable. Allen does all kinds of films. He does comedies, dramas, dramedies, suspense, and that's about it. But overall, all of his films are enjoyable.

Annie Hall doesn't have that many flaws. It's nearly flawless excluding that the film is a little slow. Allen teaches us some very true insights on relationships. and he makes us laugh pretty much the entire way through.

Allen plays a comedian who starts to see Annie Hall(played by Diane Keaton). Annie is a singer. The film shows Annie and Allen's character breaking up and getting back together and other things. All very interesting.

I don't really like Woody Allen as a person. Especially after the whole Mia Farrow situation. I think he's a pervert. But his films are great. So is his acting. Allen is a funny guy. Keaton as always is great. Though I don't quite fully understand why it's a classic. I really liked it, but it's not one of my favorites.

Annie Hall: A-

Couples Retreat

An improvement on Four Christmases.
Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Jon Favereau, Faizon Love, Mail Ackerman, Kristen Bell, Kristen Davis, and Jean Reno star in Couples retreat. This is the best Vince Vaughn comedy since The Break up. Which I liked but nobody else did.

After The Break up, Vaughn starred in Fred Claus, which I didn't really like. Then he starred in Four Christmases, which I didn't love either. Now he stars in Couples retreat. A funny film, but flawed. No doubt about that. Like most of Vaughn's films I was entertained. But there are some cheap gags, one involving a child peeing in a display toilet, and there was a moment that I wasn't quite convinced by. But overall, the film isn't too bad.

The film is about 4 couples, one trying to work on their marriage, the others just going there for fun, that travel down to Bora Bora for a retreat. They only sign on cause they hear that the couples therapy is optional. But they soon learn that it's mandatory. That causes problems.

The film has some big laughs. and it has some cheap ones too. But overall the film is fun. Though I don't think that the scene involving Jon Faverau and Kristen Davis towards the end is that convincing. I didn't love the film. But it is far from being horrible. An improvement on Four Christmases. Great cast. Give it a shot.

Couple's retreat: B-

The Stepfather

The Stepfather is obsessed with the Disturbia of The Uninvited.
Nip/Tuck's Dylan Walsh stars as a serial killer in The Stepfather, a remake of an 70's or 80's film. Now I have seen a couple of good scary films in 2009. The Stepfather is certainly not one of them. The Stepfather is a cheap excuse for a scary film that doves a little too deep into stupidity. Cause boy is it stupid.

Unfortunately, I laughed more than I was scared. There are lot of scary films that unintentionally make you laugh. I laughed out loud with this one. The same thing with The Unborn. Both huge laugh fests and both huge wastes of time.

Dylan Walsh plays a serial killer who tries to make it work with a family and if it doesn't he kills them. He starts dating a woman(played by Amber Heard). When her son(played by Penn Badgley) returns from military school and starts to get to know him, he soon suspects that he's a serial killer.

The unoriginality in this film is amazing. This is a mixture of The Uninvited, Disturbia, and there is a direct scene from out of Obsessed. Really, the comparison is sick. I watched this film with my sister and she didn't think it's that bad. I thought that it was hilarious. There is only one reason to see this film. Dylan Walsh.

Walsh is the only good thing about it. I mean I can't think of anything else good about it. Excluding the fact that it's never boring. Sure it's entertaining. But either way it sucks. Walsh is a good actor. The film is predictable, stupid, funny, and not scary whatsoever. The Stepfather is a movie that must be skipped.

The stepfather: 1.5/4

A Serious Man

A seriously funny, dramatic, clever, and real film.
Michael Stuhlbarg stars as a man with an unfortunate life in A serious man, the newest film from Joel and Ethan Cohen. The masterminds behind No country for old men, and Fargo. Usually in a Cohen brother's film they cast big celebrities. A serious man only has one celebrity that I could recognize. In most movies I won't give them a chance if there aren't any celebrities in it. If you are that way, trust me, you won't have a problem with A serious man.

There aren't many celebrities obviously. The only one I could recognize was Richard Kind from Spin city as the lead character's brother. He's not even the best actor in thew film. Remember the name Michael Stuhlbarg. This is an excellent actor trust me. A serious man has a lot to it. It's been nominated for best picture. I would be very glad if it won it.

The Gopnik family has been cursed for many years. As it shows in the beginning. Larry Gopnik(played excellently by Michael Stuhlbarg)has a terrible life. None of his family really likes him. They just use him for cash. Or his kids do. His brother Arthur9played by Richard Kind) is mooching off of him and has a gambling problem secretly. His son is in Hebrew school cause of his Barmitzva coming up. His daughter just complains about everything.

Larry watches his life crumble apart when his wife decides to leave him. Do to his brother living there. His wife is having an affair also. There is more going on in the plot, but I can't spoil it.

A serious man is The Cohen's best film since Fargo. There are many weird moments in this film. Like in pretty much all of The Cohen Borther's films. The film is also fantastic, like most of The Cohen brother's films. A serious man is hilarious, at times very dramatic, and you got to see it.

A Serious man: A

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Deserved all of the awards it won.
One flew over the cuckoo's nest is an amazing film. It deserves everything that it won for in 1975. It won for best actor(Jack Nicholson), best actress(Louise Fletcher), best director, and best picture of 1975. The performances were spectacular, so was the direction, and so was the film itself.

Who knew that crazy people could be so much fun? Wow I shouldn't have said that. Really there is nothing funny about a crazy person. Thast's why I disliked All about Steve. I hated that movie. But this is a classic.

From it's beginning to it's dramatic climax the film amazes. I have always thought Jack Nicholson was a great actor. But here he does something else. He does what he usually does, but it's an improvement. I know, how could such a great actor improve his already great career? Trust me, it's possible.

Nicholson stars as R.P. McMurphey, a man being sent to a mental institution. He isn't crazy though. He is just acting crazy so then he doesn't have to go to prison. Of course he doesn't actually want to stay there, but it's better than jail.

McMurphey is a carefree guy. As you can clearly tell by watching the film. But McMurphey isn't fond of Nurse Ratched(played excellently by Louise Fletcher). Nobody is, cause she's more like a dictator than a doctor. So McMurphey rounds up the mental patients(such as a young Christopher Lloyd and Danny Devito)and try to irritate her.

Louise Fletcher is so good in this film. She really gets under your skin. And there are many plausible scenes with her in it. Such as when she gets strangled. She irritated me so much that I actually laughed when she got strangled.

Nicholson's performance really goes without saying. He plays the same cocky character that he always plays. But here he does his best work. So, as you can tell, this is an amazing film that must be seen.

One flew over the cuckoo's nest: A


One of the funniest films of 2009.
2009 should've been the year of comedies. Cause there were some great ones. I think the funniest was the underrated Bruno. There was also the instant classic The Hangover. Along with lots of others. But I think the comedy I had the most fun with was Zombieland.

I loved 2004's Shaun of the dead. These two films are similar plot wise. But Zombieland, to some surprise, is actually better. The film is hilarious, incredibly entertaining, and there are good performances. The main one i'm talking about is Woody Harrelson. Harrelson is great in anything he's in. He made the movie for me.

Here we see Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abagail Breslin all kicking zombie ass. And it's a lot of fun. Harrelson is ridiculous, and there is another ridiculous cameo by Bill Murray. How could anyone resist Zombieland?

Zombieland is a post apocalyptic film about zombies. Obviously. Nerdy Jesse Eisenberg plays Columbus, A college kid trying to go back to Columbus Ohio to see his family. People are nicknamed after the place they were born. So you don't actually know anyone's name.

Soon Columbus meets Tallahasse, an ass kicking Twinkie lover. The two team up. They soon stumble across two other people(played by Emma Stone and Abagail Breslin)who at first betray them but eventually they team up too. They are heading for a theme park.

How could anyone dislike this film? I mean there is a great cast and lots of laughs. I can't wait for a Zombieland 2. This is an apocalypse that I wouldn't mind seeing more of. This was one of the funniest films of last year.

Zombieland: A

The Royal Tenenbaums

I'll admit that I loved it, but I didn't like some of the characters.
I thought that Wes Anderson;s dramady is an excellent film. That I can't deny. But some of the characters in the film annoyed me a little. Perhaps probably cause I loved Gene Hackman;s character the most, and everyone treats him unfairly.

Royal Tennenbaum(played by Gene Hackman) is made out to be an unlikable father. But he is actually one of the best things about the film. Wes Anderson, being the genius he is, uses what he usually uses. He usually makes a comedy, adds a little drama to it, and then adds weird. But here, Anderson uses all of those things, but doubles them.

The Tennenbaums(played by Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, and Gweneth Paltrow) all grew up with unfortunate lives. The parents were divorced. They never really got to know the father really well. The daughter was adopted. Just unfortunate things. Well, the adoption not so much.

Years later, they have obviously all gone their separate ways. The father(Gene Hackamn) is living in a hotel. The mother(Anjelica Huston) is a scientist or something like that who is asked for marriage one day by her partner(played by Danny Glover).

Chas(played by Ben Stiller), one of the sons, has two children. He was once married but she died in a plane crash. So he is extra careful. The other brother, Ritchie(played by Luke Wilson) has moved on from his tennis days. He is in love with the adopted daughter Margot(played by Gweneth Paltrow)

Margot is now married to an older author(played by Bill Murray)and is having an affair with Ritchie's old friend Eli(played by Owen Wilson). She ran off when she was fourteen and didn't do much with her life afterwards.

They are all brought together when Royal, the father, tells his ex-wife that he's dying. So everyone moves into the Tennenbaum house again. But not everyone is happy with the father even when he's dying.

The film is at times very funny. but I got very creeped out in the last part of the film. Some of the characters I didn't like. such as Luke Wilson's(cause he was very weird)and Ben Stiller's character too.

I think the thing that really made the film for me was Gene Hackman. He did the best job. He was very funny. Wes Anderson has done some great films. I think this is definitely one of them. This has got to be seen.

The Royal Tennenbaums: A

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Slow, kind of boring, but there's a great cast.
Wes Anderson's The life aquatic is a disappointment. You'd expect with it's great talented cast that it would be really funny. It had it's occasional funny moments. But overall, I found it slow, occasionally boring, and well, that's it.

Wes Anderson is a talented director and these are some very talented actors. Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston(of course cause it's a Wes Anderson film), Michael Gambon, Jeff Goldblum and there may be others. I rented it years ago thinking this will be good. Good cast, sounds kind of funny. Well, it's not what I expected. I guess I was the only one disappointed.

Maybe if I watch it again soon I might change my opinion. Otherwise, well, my opinion stays. Anderson does what he usually does. He makes a weird film. In the climax of the film, there are some really weird looking animated fish.

The film is about an underwater explorer named Steve Zissou(played by Bill Murray). He decides to seek revenge against a shark that killed his partner many years ago. So Steve rounds up a group of people, including his ex-wife(played by Anjelica Huston) to help him.

I didn't dislike the film that much. It just wasn't what I expected. I expected a hilarious movie. The film is long. But I will admit that I laughed. And it is kind of interesting. So I can't give it my entire thumbs down. Just can't give it my entire thumbs up.

The Life aquatic with Steve Zissou: B-

This Is It

Even after he's gone, he still has it.
Three famous celebrities died in June of 2009. Farrah Fawcett(Charlie's angels) was one of them. David Carradine(Kill Bill, other Kung fu films)was another. But of the three deaths, none were more talked about than Michael Jackson's death.

There is a scene in the excellent film Death at a funeral where the lead character says" It seems like now that he knows people now that he's gone than when he was alive" or something like that. Well, that kind of describes what happened with me and Michael Jackson. For an awfully long time, everyone was creeped out by Michael Jackson.

First his skin color turns white in which he looks unfortunately scary. Then he is accused of molestation. Everyone didn't like Michael Jackson. But when the news came out that he died I felt deep down that he did not molest any boys.

As you can tell in the documentary This is it, Michael Jackson was a nice man. I don't think he ever molested any children. It's a real shame what happened to him. His life was unfortunately ruined.

This is it shows Michael Jackson practicing for his final concert, This is it, which was going to be his last performance and his first performance in a decade. The film shows MJ rehearsing. That is really the whole film. Him dancing and singing to songs like Billie Jean, Thriller, Beat it, Wannna be startin something, Smooth criminal, and other hits.

It also shows Michael Jackson in new videos for these songs. The videos are awesome. So is the film itself. The film was shown in IMAX and when I heard about it I was like why. Well, if you see it, you will definitely know why.

I miss Michael Jackson. Even if you're not that big of a fan of his songs, you can't deny that he does have some great stuff. He was great back then. But his newer songs were okay. Either way, still a man of genius.

I started watching the film. And five minutes into it I had realized how much I missed him. Five minutes or even less you will realize the same thing. Jackson is a great singer. I never thought he did that stuff. We will miss him. This is it, unfortunately. when the film ended, I was a little upset. So will you.

This is it: A

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