CaligulaAzrael

IMDb member since August 2009
    Lifetime Total
    50+
    Lifetime Name
    1+
    Lifetime Filmo
    5+
    Lifetime Trivia
    1+
    Lifetime Image
    1+
    Lifetime Title
    1+
    IMDb Member
    13 years

Reviews

Act of Faith
(2012)

Just brilliant!
A short one written by Allan Moore? This must be something! And it really is... "Act of faith" runs only eighteen minutes or so, but it will certainly satisfy your needs. Of course, only if you like dark humor and irony - this are the key words to this little masterpiece. The tension here is really unbearable, so forget about boredom. I won't describe the plot, because that would ruin the pleasure that this flick is going to give you. I'll just say that it is sexy, a little kinky and very inspiring. I'm looking forward to see another work from Moore and director Mitch Jenkins. If" Jimmy's end" is as good as this one, it's going to be real fun!

Il mio West
(1998)

Only because of Bowie
This spaghetti-western is worth watching only because of one thing. O.K., maybe two: the stars of the project are Harvey Keitel and David Bowie. During the first half of the movie we're dealing with some strange combination of a cowboy story, comedy (not very bright, I must say) and... family movie. Well, it's boring and it reminded me of TV series called, yes, yes , "Dr, Quinn". Something interesting starts to happen when Bowie gets on the stage, but for his appearance we have to wait for a fifty minutes (fifty three, to be more specific). If you're a fan of the "rock'n'roll chameleon", you'll see this one anyway. In case you don't admire the gentleman, you should forget about "Il mio west" - it's the kind of a flick that makes you think: why the hell someone decided to film this?

Bandaged
(2011)

s&m
A young Japanese couple on their way to auto-destruction. Pretty disturbing (specially for a normal viewer) s&m themed short movie. Realisation is professional, so don't worry, that you'll be forced into some non-budget crap. I should also note one important thing: the shocking side here tries to carry some content about loneliness and psychic pain. I liked it, though the dialogs made me feel a little uncomfortable: too pretentious, even sometimes pathetic in their affected, emotional way. That's a shame, because the whole thing could be a real knock-out, telling us about the real despair, that leads to insanity. Still, worth seeing, not only for the blood-thirsty gore fans.

Type O Negative: After Dark
(1998)

Positive
A collection of Type O Negative videos ("Black no. 1", "Christian woman" x 2, "My girlfriend's girlfriend", "Love you to death" & "Cinnamon girl") with additional backstage footage and some excerpts from interviews. Also, there are some clips from the live performances. If yo're a TON fan, you simply have to see this. We've got normal Type O sense of humour and quotes from... Coal Chamber fans, who dislike the best doom metal band of all the time (what a jerks!). What's more, we've got Peter Steele (R.I.P.) telling us about his "philosophy of life" (P.S.:I'm really happy_ Interveiwer: Why?_ P.S.:Because I know someday I will die...). And the extended version of "Christian woman" - just perfect. Watch out for the "Jesus Christ looks like me" moment. It makes me laugh any time I see this.

Prince: The Hits Collection
(1993)

Good choice
A selection of Prince greatest hits. Released in 1993. You won't find here pieces like "Purple Rain" or "When doves cry", but still it's very good, representative choice of his videos. Sound & vision for songs like "Kiss", "Little Red Corvette" and "Raspberry Beret" - what more would any Prince's fan desire? Also, You can find here things like "Controversy", "Cream" or "Peach", which are forgotten in most of the TV stations. The only thing that would be better is the full compilation of singles by the artist, but it's not that simple, as You know. So..., just sit back and enjoy! The one and only, he doesn't wanna be king,)

Prince Live at the Aladdin Las Vegas
(2003)

His name is Prince. And he's funky!
Prince live in Las Vegas - rather cameral performance, but if you're a fan of this artist, then you'll be more than pleased. We won't hear here the well known hits like "Little Red Corvette", "Kiss" or "When Doves Cry", but for me that was totally O.K. I admire Prince no matter if he's funky, if he plays pop, disco, rock or jazz - it's always the same great Prince. The only thing that I can complain about is the filming - for some reason the video is overexposured and edited in a windows-movie-maker style. And those horrible visualizations - who made those? But nevermind the bad realization - the music is still very enjoyable. So is the show.

The Cure: Trilogy
(2003)

Pornography Disintegration Bloodflowers
The Cure at their best, performing the material from their greatest albums. "Pornography", "Disintegration" and "Bloodflowers" altogether, what gives us over three hours of beautiful, melancholic music. Songs like "Siamese Twins", "Strange Day", "Lovesong", "Lullaby" or "There Is No If..." still are giving creeps to the listener, thankfully to Smith's lyrics. As a bonus we also get two songs from the "Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me" album, that is "If Only Tonight We Could Sleep" and "The Kiss". Robert Smith and his colleagues are in a very good shape, so this "triple-feature" is highly recommended for every Cure-fan. As one of them I simply cannot give any other score then 10 out of 10. Just remember: the spiderman is always hungry.

Bauhaus: Gotham
(1999)

Reunion
Although I'm a big fan of the group, I must say I was a bit disappointed by their reunion concert video called "Gotham". It isn't that they do not play their songs with involvement. It's the bad editing and filming that causes watching this one not so pleasant as it could be. It looks as the makers of the documentary we're thinking only how to get this over and go home. Great music is presented in a horrible TV look-a-like manner and that's the only reason I cannot give this one any better score than 7 out of 10. I wish I could, but I just can't. It's a shame that Murphy & Co. haven't choose any better filmmakers, who would properly present their reunion performance. Bela Lugosi's undead, but the director and editor should be buried six feet underground.

The Image
(1969)

If you're a Bowie-fan...
This black & white British short film is interesting for one reason. One of the characters, boy from a picture, is played by young David Bowie. It was a time when he was not yet known to the audiences around the world, long time before he became the alien messiah, Ziggy Stardust. The plot here is very simple, but I must admit that Michael Armstrong's movie is quite climatic and still watchable. An artist paints in his house a portrait of a young boy. In the next moment boy appears behind the window and then - in the house, in front of a painter. An artist starts to panic and the kills the one he created. And that's all. Or maybe I should say: almost all... If you're a Bowie-fan like me, this one is a must-see, otherwise - don't bother yourself with seeking for a copy.

Goldilocks and the Three Bares
(1963)

An Invitation to a Nudist Camp
Legendary Herschell Gordon Lewis, future "godfather of gore", invites us to a nudist colony. "Goldilocks & the three bares" is a mixture of comedy and musical, in which the whole (very simple indeed, I must say) plot is just a pretext for showing a viewer a gallery of naked bodies. In the early 1960's that must've been a taboo. Today..., well, we cannot even call this one a sexploitation flick. It's just a silly trifle that may be useful for some anthropologists. What is valuable here for me, it's the spirit of the times - those haircuts, stylish cars, those tender songs that still can make you smile. If you're into this kind of old-fashioned garbage, you probably will be satisfied with Lewis' work. Bad acting, poorly edited - that's the stuff for connoisseurs.

Nights and Weekends
(2008)

Leads to nowhere
This is first mumblecore I've seen and I must say that I don't know why some people are so excited about it. Swanberg's movie is just a compilation of less or more boring scenes in which director and his star, Great Gerwig are talking, laying in bed, trying to make love and so on, so on. It's not that the whole thing is bad - it just leads to nowhere. There is no plot, there is no hidden message. The acting is quite good, especially Gerwig is doing nice job in here - she's very natural and has her own charm. Also photography and editing are better than I expected, being aware of that the film is practically non-budget. So - technically work is made unobjectionable, but the rest - the plot, tension, action - it just doesn't exist in this one. Maybe for few viewers it's kind of art. Not for me.

Pirate Fetish Machine 6: Funky Fetish Horror Show
(2002)

If you're only looking for porn...
This one is inspired by famous glam rock opera "Rocky Horror Picture Show", but the connections with that masterpiece ends with the title and the idea for plot. Young couple lost in the woods goes to the Gothic castle, where they take a part in regular orgy. That's the whole history, the rest is just a chain of XXX scenes. Some of them better, some worse. To be honest, I was expecting it would be more graphic, BDSM in here is, let's say, quite harmless. I must also say, that the quality of photography isn't too good: some of the sequences are very badly filmed. If you're only looking for normal porn, it might be enjoyable, but do not expect good porno-parody.

The Beast That Killed Women
(1965)

Really funny
This movie is some kind of a underestimated classic. I'm sure of that. Man chasing naked women in a suit of gorilla - whoa! The acting is so bad, that you cannot even blame the people that they can't play. It's just unbearably funny. It's edited from a bunch of totally idiotic scenes, with nonsense dialogues, fatal lightning..., oh, let's just say that everything in here is very, very bad. Just take the scene of a "belly dance": see how they're clapping to the rhythm, while the director is giving them signs from beyond the camera - you have to see it to believe. And that's the case - it's so campy that you can just love it or leave it. I loved it. Great comedy for a bad mood.

L.A. Zombie
(2010)

Gay zombie invades
For some viewers Bruce LaBruce is surely some kind of a legend. After watching two of his movies, I must admit: that's not for me! "L.A.Zombie" is nothing more than a regular porn movie for homosexual audiences. No plot, no acting, no action. If you like to watch a man licking penis of his colleague, or licking his hairy anus, works from LaBruce may fascinate you. I was only bored - more and more with every minute. There was also some bloody gore in that one, but that's not an excuse to watch gay hardcore scenes for 100 minutes, over and over again. The other thing - why the hell that zombie was in one scene looking like a dead one and in another he was like normal person (normal gay person)? That remains a mystery. Just like the point of making such a horrible movies. Really stupid, non-artistic, although it wants to look like one.

Gorex: The Zombi Horror Picture Show
(1997)

pathetic!
This movie is probably the worst I've seen for a long, long time. It's horrible as a horror film, it's even worse as a porn flick. More than hour of endless boredom. There is some stupid plot about crazy scientist (or something like that) and a couple of long erotic scenes. They are photographed in such incredible way, that I couldn't believe my eyes. For example: a girl is licking a banana for... I don't know, four minutes? All the time it looks like some German XXX home-made video for homeless people. I strongly advise you - don't even think about watching this one. It'll make you suffer each time you'll wonder about the miracle of life compared with makers of this movie. Cheap, trashy, totally un-enjoyable.

The Lodge
(2008)

nightmarish weekend in mountains, pretty disappointing for viewer
This one is just another B-class, low budget horror movie. It's quite disappointing, specially for someone who likes this type of stories. Here we've got a couple, who goes on a weekend trip to a house somewhere in the mountains. What was planned as a peaceful rest from living in the city happens to be a true nightmare with a dangerous psycho in a leading role... The problem with this film is that there is no suspense, no tension. What's more unpleasant: it isn't also gory. I cannot see any good reason for giving it a try. It's a kind of movie that you can watch on Thursday evening in TV during the break between making tea and making love to your girlfriend/wife/dog/apple pie. It's not even boring. It's just completely not interesting.

High Rise
(1973)

Silly, but quite entertaining
This one is for me a classic example of 1970's porn. It's very silly (the plot isn't either logical or complicated) and it mixes cheap comedy with regular XXX movie. The thing that makes this one worth watching are written for the picture songs and the atmosphere of the decade. Specially the last 20 minutes of this production is really something: it's a long, psychedelic orgy with some groovy music (supported with vocal). This final song in some parts reminded me "Sympathy for the Devil" by Rolling Stones (those drums!), although it isn't of course the same level. Just few similarities. So, if you like close - ups compared with funky, cool sounds in the best 70's tradition - "High Rise" should do the job.

Corpse Fucking Art
(1987)

Great documentary for every Jörg Buttgereit fan
This film is a kind of "making of" about three Jörg Buttgereit's great movies: both parts of "NEKRomantik" and "Todesking". We can see how effects in those were made. If you're a fan of controversial German filmmaker, then this documentary will give you many pleasure. For example we can see how was made the infamous final decapitation scene from "Return of the loving dead". There are many pictures shot during the work of the crew: actors, director, people specialized in make-up and all this gory stuff. I loved "NEKRomantik 1&2" and this film made me realize how difficult was it to complete those masterpieces of underground cinema. This "behind the scenes" flick is quite hard to find, so if you think that Buttgereit is a sick man with a depraved imagination, then you can automatically abandon your irresponsible thoughts about "Corpse F**king Art". But for everyone else it's worth looking for.

Dont Open Till Christmas
(1984)

Xmas Slasher movie? OK, but this one is really bad!
I don't know from what should I start, so maybe I'll give you a small description about what I saw. This film is like:... oh, someone killed Santa, oh, and another, oh, those few more, oh, there were tits, someone killed Santa?, he's chasing him, oh, he killed Santa - and so on, so on... So, as you see there is no suspense in this cheap, boring slasher movie. There's even no snow or any Christmas atmosphere, which we know from pictures like "Black Christmas" or "Silent Night, Deadly Night". There are few quite bloody murder scenes and that's all. Ah, I forgot to say that they are really funny (those scenes, I mean). Maybe those laughs will make some people watch this one, but I do not recommend.

Orlacs Hände
(1924)

could be better
I must say I was pretty disappointed while watching this one. It's one of the classic movies from the age of German Expressionism, but I cannot call this a masterpiece. Wiene was a director of remarkable "Kabinett des Doktor Caligari" and "Orlacs Hände" doesn't seem to be as successful as this great picture. The action is quite interesting, acting is very good, idea is inspiring but it's also very naive. Specially the ending was too childish and I found myself hard to believe in it. But, I should also admit that Wiene's movie has some kind of intriguing atmosphere, which makes the whole thing worth watching. If you're enthusiastic to German cinema of the decade you should watch this one, but don't expect too much.

Alice Cooper: The Nightmare
(1975)

tasty!
This one is a kind of visualization for whole track list from the classic Alice Cooper's concept album "Welcome To My Nightmare". Made for the television, it;s quite cheap, but it also has Vincent Price as some kind of "Nightmare Master". Price gave his appearance also on the album with his talk introducing "Black Widow". Lots of fun, surreal decorations and Cooper's performances with songs from his greatest long play. Maybe it's not really musical movie with regular plot, but if you like when horror mixes with some good rock'n'roll music then this one should satisfy you. "Cold Ethyl", "Department of Youth", "Some Folks" and "Devil's Food" - I guess this titles are enough for good recommendation. A must see for every Alice Cooper's fan.

Wojna swiatów - nastepne stulecie
(1981)

unlike the others
Polish sci-fi movie, but not like all the others. This is a story about Martians coming to visit our planet. The aliens are real scums, but they're not the real problem. The real problem lies in us, in people. The story tells about the domination of powerful media in our lives, about human stupidity, about how people turn themselves into slaves. The dedication in the beginning is for Orson Welles and it's a perfect commentary for whole storyline of this movie. We all remember the audition which Welles gave for the radio with "War of the Worlds" by H.G.Wells - here it is also compared with actual situation during 1980's in Poland under communists rule. Inspiring movie for thinking people.

Despair
(1982)

Hypnotic
SPK is an industrial group which was made by three Australians in the late 1970's (one of them was actual Hollywood composer Greme Revell). "Despair" and "Human Post Mortem" are their very rare videos, which were released on VHS tape. It includes footages from some live performances and couple of disturbing scenes from the morgue. What do we have in here? Some mutilated corpses, autopsy, oral sex with use of a head severed from the body. Isn't it nice? Those are the pictures that you won't forget easily. Unfortunetely, the quality of the copy which I have is quite bad and sometimes material is hard to watch. But on the other hand, the music by SPK is a pleasure in itself - mostly these are compositions from the album "Leichenschrei", which is my favorite. So, entertainment enjoyable both for music fans and the gore maniacs.

Emanuelle e gli ultimi cannibali
(1977)

Emanuelle and the last boredom
Oh gosh! This movie was really hard to watch! It's completely boring and unbelievably stupid too. The acting is incredibly poor, so are the dialogs. The plot.., well, it's quite typical for all of the cannibal movies, but the persons in this story are so dumb and their behavior is so illogic that it makes you pray that this whole parody would end as fast as it can. What's more, it isn't even too gory - there are only few short scenes, but they don't make any impression. Even the beauty of Laura Gemser doesn't help - this is probably the worst cannibal movie I've ever seen. No, sorry, the worst is "Cannibals" by Jess Franco, so this must take the 2nd place.

Das Bildnis des Dorian Gray
(1970)

Boys keep swinging
Dorian Gray from the great novel by Oscar Wilde lives in London during 1960's. He's beautiful, he's charming and he's totally depraved. Just like in the book, but here there is much more of eroticism. To tell you the truth, I was quite surprised, because I thought it will be much worse. Thanks God, we have in here Helmut Berger - he's really the best choice to play Dorian and he makes this movie worth watching. If you want to know how would look Wilde's hero during the "peace-flowers-freedom-happines" times, then you should find this one and give it a try. Although I prefer the 1945 Holyywood version, this is really not bad.

See all reviews