paul_haakonsen

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Reviews

Shark Killer
(2015)

A shark movie without all the sharks...
Right, well I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Shark Killer" without having read the movie's synopsis. So I blindly believed that this movie was going to be a movie with sharks being the focal point of the storyline.

Oh, how mistaken I was. This movie was not about sharks, but instead about people chasing after a shark to cut out a rare diamond from its belly. So I was sorely disappointed with this movie, as I had expected and hoped for a shark creature feature.

While the movie wasn't at all what I had expected, it should be said that the movie actually wasn't all that bad. It was watchable and semi-entertaining actually. Well, while it wasn't an outstanding movie, it made for adequate entertainment for a single viewing.

"Shark Killer" has the likes of Derek Theler, Erica Cerra and Arnold Vosloo on the cast list, so it wasn't actually all bad in terms of casted performers.

Visually then "Shark Killer" wasn't a particularly impressive movie. There were a few odd shark segments here and there, but nothing in the likes of movies such as "Jaws", "The Meg", "Deep Blue Sea", and such.

"Shark Killer" turned out to be a cheesy movie actually, but still watchable. I am rating it a four out of ten stars. Watchable, yes, but disappointingly not a movie about sharks as the main focus.

Caveat
(2020)

Slow paced, uneventful, mundane and boring...
I sat down to watch the 2020 thriller/horror movie from writer and director Damian Mc Carthy here in 2021, without having ever heard about the movie. I stumbled upon it by random luck, and given my love for all things horror, of course I took the time to sit down to watch "Caveat".

Unfortunately this movie was brutally boring and slow paced. It was such a struggle to sit through the ordeal that was supposed to resemble a storyline. Especially since nothing worth of any kind really happened, and the movie felt more like a jumble of random scenes put together in semi-order to form a coherent movie.

I was by no means entertained by what I saw here in "Caveat", and this is definitely not a movie I would recommend any horror fans rush out to get their hands on. To me, this movie was so insanely slow paced and uneventful that it simply wasn't worth wasting my time on. Yet, I endured about an hour or so, hoping that the movie would pick up in pace or at least the storyline would become more interesting. Neither of those things happened. And this is not a movie that I will ever be returning to attempt to watch the remaining part that I skipped on.

The acting in the movie was pretty wooden and rigid, given the fact that the actors and actresses had next to nothing to work with in terms of script, storyline and well-written characters.

"Caveat" was a swing and a miss, and director Damian Mc Carthy just failed to entertain me with this 2020 movie.

My rating of "Caveat" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.

The Unhealer
(2020)

Watchable, but generic and predictable...
I stumbled upon the 2020 movie "The Unhealer" in 2021, and I hadn't heard about it. But I saw that the movie had Lance Henriksen and Natasha Henstridge on the cast list, so of course I was interested in watching it. And so I sat down to watch "The Unhealer" from writers Kevin E. Moore and J. Shawn Harris.

While "The Unhealer" definitely was watchable and provided adequate entertainment, the movie was a bit too much on the generic and predictable side, which ultimately dragged the movie down a bit.

The storyline told in this 2020 movie was pretty straight forward, I will say that much. But it was just too generic for my liking. Perhaps I have been watching too many movies throughout the years, but there was nothing new to be had here really.

It was a bit disappointing that Lance Henriksen had such small part to play in the movie, but at least Natasha Henstridge played a bigger part, but their names being on the cover hardly did it any justice, because they were mere support characters.

"The Unhealer" is not a movie that makes use of grand special effects, but there were a fair amount of special effects throughout the course of the movie, and they were adequately made and served the movie well enough.

While "The Unhealer" is watchable, it was hardly an outstanding or memorable movie experience. And it is not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time. My rating of director Martin Guigui's 2020 movie "The Unhealer" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

Kolskaya sverhglubokaya
(2020)

If you imagine "The Thing" light, then you have "Superdeep"...
When I read the synopsis for this 2020 movie titled "Superdeep" (aka "Kolskaya sverhglubokaya"), I must admit that I was immediately interested, as the movie sounds rather interesting. So as I had the chance to sit down to watch "Superdeep" here in 2021, of course I did so.

I must say that "Superdeep" is a movie that will find some appeal to fans of John Carpenter's "The Thing", as there are some interesting similarities between the two movies.

However, "Superdeep" just doesn't really match "The Thing" in terms of intensity or entertainment value. Now, don't get me wrong here, because "Superdeep" is definitely a watchable movie, but writer and director Arseny Syuhin just didn't have the same ability as John Carpenter to make this into an equally entertaining and disturbing movie.

What "Superdeep" was lacking was that sense of isolation, hopelessness and cosmic dread that "The Thing" had to it, and it was showing on the screen. Sure, I managed to sit through the entire movie, but I was only adequately entertained. However, "Superdeep" is not a movie that warrants a second viewing, as it just didn't have the contents to its storyline for more than a single viewing.

The acting in the movie were good, and it was rather nice to get to sit down and watch a movie like this without having familiar faces on the screen.

Something that was holding the movie back was the fact that it was a rather generic, linear and predictable movie. Writer and director Arseny Syuhin just didn't throw any curveballs to the audience along the way, much to a greater disappointment actually.

"Superdeep" is definitely winning points on its special effect and visual effects. The creature design was rather interesting, and the scenes where the people finally give into the spores is just amazing. Those scenes by themselves makes it well worth sitting down to watch "Superdeep".

Ultimately, while "Superdeep" was watchable, it was just not a memorable or outstanding sci-fi horror experience. It was a shame, though, because there definitely was a lot of untapped potential here in the movie.

My rating of the 2020 movie "Superdeep" lands on a mediocre five out of ten stars.

The Nesting
(1981)

Ridiculous storyline does not make for a good horror experience...
I stumbled upon the 1981 horror mystery "The Nesting" in 2021. And it was a movie that I had never even heard about before, but as I had the opportunity to sit down and watch it, of course I did. It is a horror movie after all.

And the term horror might be stretching it a bit far for "The Nesting", as there was nothing scary about the movie. I doubt that even back in the day of 1981 that this movie was particularly frightening.

The storyline is pretty pointless, and seems mostly rather random, as if writers Daria Price and Armand Weston were just making it up as they went along filming the project. Sure there is continuity to the story, but the contents are just not particularly interesting, and it felt like a random mixing of two different movies put together to make "The Nesting".

It was just hard to find a single focal point to the storyline, as the two writers take it in many, many different directions, attempting to accomplish a lot with different elements, but failing collectively to do so.

The characters in the storyline were flaccid and boring, to be bluntly honest. The main character Lauren Cochran - played by Robin Groves - is rather annoying and seems to be all over the place and screaming over little things.

For a horror movie then "The Nesting" was a swing and a miss. This movie is definitely not a movie that I would recommend any horror fans rush out to get their ghoulish claws on. Even for a 1980s horror movie this was pretty flaccid.

My rating of director Armand Weston's "The Nesting" settles on a mere three out of ten stars.

Rebirth
(2020)

Good thing that Romero himself can't see this...
I stumbled upon the 2020 movie "Rebirth" here in 2021, and with it being a zombie movie, of course I needed no persuasion to sit down and watch it. I should, however, perhaps have read the movie's synopsis prior to watching it.

Why? Well, "Rebirth" turned out to be a remake or reinvention of the classic George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead"; a movie that have been remade a couple of times already before. So this 2020 remake was fully and utterly unnecessary. Yet, I still sat through it.

I must say that "Rebirth" from writer and director Roger Conners was a bitter pill to swallow. First of all, the fact that it was a remake of a movie that had already been remade before was just pointless. And then Roger Conners went and opted to replace the Barbara character from the original movie with a gay guy named Adam. What? Seriously? Yeah, that was just utter rubbish. This whole political correctness that sweeps through Hollywood is just laughable.

Then there were the thing with the glowing eyes of the zombies. What was that all about? It just made no sense, and it just made the movie come off as being more rubbish and as a joke. It was so hard to take it serious with this. And the fact that the zombies were making growling noises that no human would be able to vocally produce just didn't help to sell the movie either.

The acting in the movie were sort of adequate, for the most parts. Mind you, you are not in for amazing performances here, nor will you see any Award winning performances in the midst of the performers here either.

Visually then the movie was sort of a swing and a miss. The majority of the zombie make-up and effects was just barely passable, so there wasn't much of any meat here for us gore fans, pardon the pun.

While I managed to sit through this ordeal, then "Rebirth" is a movie that came and went without as much as a groan or a bite. And it failed utterly to leave a lasting mark on the zombie genre at large. I am not going to be sitting down to watch "Rebirth" a second time, nor is it a movie that I would recommend any zombie fan to rush out and get their hands on.

My rating of "Rebirth" lands on a three out of ten stars. It was a completely unnecessary remake, and one that failed to deliver much of a bite at that.

Nature Unleashed: Fire
(2004)

Not as hot as it would seem to be...
Well, I have seen two others in the "Nature Unleashed" series, so as I had the opportunity to watch the 2004 movie "Nature Unleashed: Fire", I did sit down to watch it. Sure, I wasn't harboring much of any great expectations for the movie, I will admit that.

And writers Michael Hurst and Allan A. Goldstein weren't exactly delivering a storyline that was fully encompassing. Sure, it was watchable, but the storyline and script was just so mundane and pointless that it made for a very shallow movie experience.

There simply were too much filler in the movie that served no purpose, such as the intro scene with the mine and the fact that the forestry service seemed to take the fire alerts with no particular importance, despite it being reported in by an on-site ranger.

The acting in the movie was rigid and it wasn't particularly convincing performances that were put on for the most parts. But I suppose it was because of the lack of properly written dialogue and having characters with the appeal of wet cardboard.

"Nature Unleashed: Fire" spends too much time on showing footage of the cast riding around on dirt bikes, doing semi-tricks where one would assume they would keep a clear head and not do stunts to put themselves at risk as they try to outride a blazing inferno behind them.

And "Nature Unleashed: Fire" had some of the most laughable and dubious CGI green screen effects that I have ever witnessed. It was just hilarious to see such lousy special effects. Especially in a natural disaster movie, where special effects are everything.

This 2004 addition to the "Nature Unleashed" series was a rather weak addition, and it didn't provide me with much of any entertainment or enjoyment.

My rating of "Nature Unleashed: Fire" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

Alien Outbreak
(2020)

Not as bad as expected...
As I sat down in 2021 to watch the 2020 UK sci-fi movie "Alien Outbreak", I must admit that I wasn't really expecting anything overly grand, given the movie's fairly low rating. And truth be told, I am not one that is usually overly keen on the sci-fi genre to begin with.

But I hadn't already seen "Alien Outbreak", so of course I sat down to watch it as I had the opportunity to do so.

And I must say that writer and director Neil Rowe actually managed to come up with a movie that wasn't all that shabby. Yeah, I found "Alien Outbreak" to actually be surprisingly watchable and a fair enough movie.

Sure, this wasn't a stellar sci-fi movie. It does bear witness of being a movie that has that low budget feel to it. But at the same time, then the CGI and special effects team actually managed to do well enough to bring the aliens to life on the screen.

"Alien Outbreak" does, however, suffer from being a rather mundane and slow paced movie. The storyline is just not packing enough punch, and it made for a rather mundane experience in terms of entertainment and pacing. While the movie was watchable, it was hardly an outstanding sci-fi movie, nor was it a movie that warrants more than just a single viewing, as the storyline just doesn't have the contents for that.

The acting in the movie was adequate. It wasn't performances that will leave you bedazzled or knock you back in your seat. People were doing fair enough jobs with their roles and characters, but they were struggling against a flaccid and uneventful storyline.

As for the ending of the movie, well... While writer and director Neil Rowe does leave the ending up for audience interpretation, I can't claim that it was an ending that I was overly much a fan of. It just simply left me with an unanswered question, which made me feel like I had essentially just wasted my entire time sitting through the movie, only to be served an ending such as that.

All in all, then "Alien Outbreak" was watchable, but it just slumped in on itself given its slow pacing and rather uneventful storyline. As such, I am rating Neil Rowe's 2020 movie a mediocre five out of ten stars.

Star Wars Biomes
(2021)

Sure, a virtual, visual vacation? Why not....
With this being a "Star Wars" title, of course I had to sit down and watch it.

And I will say that the 2021 "Star Wars Biomes", virtual vacation as they called it, was a mixed bag of nuts. Some of the scenes where you visit some of the planets and locations were rather interesting, such as the likes of Hoth and Tattooine for example, whereas others were just downright boring.

Sure, there is no storyline here or anything going on aside from showcasing some iconic and memorable locations of the "Star Wars" galaxy, so this is something that is interesting only to the hardcore fans of the "Star Wars" franchise.

It should be said, though, that you have to keep alert and check the locations, because some minute details may be shown, and it definitely was enjoyable enough to have some of the iconic vehicles, locations, creatures and such make short appearances as you take a bird's view trip over the different locations.

While "Star Wars Biomes" was watchable, this was hardly something outstanding or something that I would return to watch a second time around.

I am rating "Star Wars Biomes" a bland five out of ten stars.

Star Wars: Rebels
(2014)

It does get quite interesting...
Back in 2014 when "Star Wars: Rebels" first came out, I jumped on the bandwagon and watched season one. I have to admit that I wasn't particularly impressed with the characters, the art style or the contents of the storyline back then, so I ended up dropping the series.

Then I had the opportunity to sit down and give it another attempt in 2021, after having sat through seven season of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars", and I must admit that this time around "Star Wars: Rebels" was a much more wholesome experience.

Sure, some of the characters are still a bit flaccid and of course there are some characters that I liked more than others, but such is it with all things I watch on the screen. But I will say that the storyline definitely takes a turn for the better after season one, as the first season is mainly for setting the stage and introducing the characters. But needless to say that things really get amped up with Grand Admiral Thrawn enters the theater of war. And the characters eventually come to grow on you in bigger or smaller ways.

"Star Wars: Rebels" does a great job of adding additional information for the original first "Star Wars: A New Hope" movie, and that was something I enjoyed a lot.

While "Star Wars: Rebels" isn't as hard-punching and intense as "Star Wars: The Clone Wars", this is still a series that is quite well-worth the time and effort to sit through.

The drawing style in "Star Wars: Rebels" was still somewhat of a hurdle to get past. And I didn't particularly like the way that people's worn armor would bend and stretch with their bodies, making it for some very flexible material, where it should have been rigid and stiff.

I wasn't much fan of the focus on the Loth wolves, as the series spent a bit too much time on these creatures, and it just didn't really feel as it had a proper place in the "Star Wars" galaxy. These huge creatures felt more like that they belonged in a supernatural show taking place in a Viking setting than they did in the "Star Wars" setting.

"Star Wars: Rebels" has a lot of interesting details in the episodes, so the observant viewer is definitely in for a treat, if you can spot the references and the Easter eggs.

I was definitely genuinely surprised with the outcome of "Star Wars: Rebels" and I am happy that I opted to sit down and give it a second chance. It definitely is a good show, not "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" good, but still a good show. My rating of "Star Wars: Rebels" lands on a seven out of ten stars.

The Deep Ones
(2020)

Nah, didn't have that particular sense of cosmic dread to it...
I stumbled upon the 2020 movie adaptation of a classic H. P. Lovecraft tale titled "The Deep Ones" in 2021. I must admit that I was initially thrilled to find a movie such as this, but my hopes and expectations were immediately lowered, because many of the previous movie adaptations of Lovecraft's works have been dubious at best.

And the 2020 movie "The Deep Ones" from writer and director Chad Ferrin wasn't a movie to break the slump of less than mediocre movie adaptions of Lovecraft's stories. Sure, there were definitely Lovecraftian elements here and it was based on a Lovecraft story, but writer and director Chad Ferrin just didn't capture that essence that permeates all Lovecraft's writings, that particular sense of cosmic dread and sense of hopelessness.

Sure, the movie was watchable, but it just didn't capture the key element that defines the Cthulhu mythos. I managed to sit through "The Deep Ones", but I was hardly entertained, and I can in all honesty say that this is not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time, nor is it a movie that I would recommend fans of Lovecraft's writing to rush out and get their hands on.

For me, "The Deep Ones" snuck in under the radar, and the movie will just as quietly and unnoticeably fade into oblivion for me. This wasn't a groundbreaking or defining moment in Lovecraftian movie adaptations.

The acting in the movie was actually good enough, and I do enjoy the fact that I am presented with a cast ensemble that I am not previously familiar with. It was just a real shame that the actors and actresses didn't have much of anything to work with here.

My rating of "The Deep Ones" lands on a shallow three out of ten stars. Not really an outstanding foray into the Cthulhu mythos.

Sphinx
(1981)

Pull up a seat and go to sleep...
Right, well, where to begin?

I sat down in 2021 to watch the 1981 movie "Sphinx" from writer John Byrum and director Franklin J. Schaffner without ever having heard about the movie before now as I sat down to watch it.

And given the fact that the movie was set in Egypt and was titled "Sphinx", I must admit that I was expecting a bit more focus on the Egyptian lore and history, but instead found myself in for a very, very boring murder mystery of sorts.

Needless to say that the fact that the movie also had Lesley-Anne Down, Frank Langella and John Rhys-Davies on the cast list helped win me over. But it seemed that not even they could manage to do much with the inferior and inadequate script and storyline they had to work with.

I gave up on "Sphinx" shortly after having suffered through a bit more than one hour of virtually nothing interesting happening. I wanted to give the movie a fair chance and I wanted to enjoy it. But I just couldn't. This movie was definitely not my cup of tea. It was incredibly slow paced, uneventful and just downright uninteresting and unappealing.

My rating of the 1981 movie "Sphinx" lands on a mere two out of ten stars. This movie was nothing near what I had hoped or expected from it. And it definitely wasn't a movie that entertained me in any way. And I can honestly say that I am not returning to watch the remaining half hour of movie that I skipped on; I just simply don't care about the storyline - or lack thereof, rather.

Re-Generator
(2010)

This was definitely a bad movie...
Right, well I stumbled upon the 2010 movie "Re-Generator" in 2021. Had I heard about it prior to getting to sit down and watch it? Nope, not at all. But hey, the movie had Olivier Gruner on the cast list, and I remember him fondly from the 1992 movie "Nemesis", so I figured I would give "Re-Generator" a chance.

And wow, this movie was bad. Truly awfully bad through and through. This movie felt like something that was found by random in a discarded box from the mid-1980s. This action sci-fi movie didn't at all feel like it was made in 2010.

The storyline told in "Re-Generator", as written by Olivier Gruner, Martin Mayo and Stephen Meier was just bad, hands down. I am rather impressed that three writers could collectively managed to come up with something as abysmal as "Re-Generator".

The acting in the movie was every bit as wooden and rigid as the storyline, so not even on that account did "Re-Generator" managed to harvest points.

Do yourself a favor and skip out on "Re-Generator", should you happen to stumble upon this atrocity of a movie. It was really one of the worst movies I have had to sit through.

My rating of directors Olivier Gruner and Patrick Shanavian's 2010 movie "Re-Generator" lands on a generous one out of ten stars. And trust me, the movie cannot regenerate from this rating.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
(2008)

Rather enjoyable...
Right, well back in the day when "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" initially came out, I managed to sit through two seasons before giving up on the series. Why? Well, as much of a "Star Wars" fan as I am, then the animation and art style was just a bitter pill to swallow, and I never really been a fan of the Clone Wars era in the "Star Wars" universe.

So I put the series to rest back then, but had to return to give it a second chance in 2021, as many people said that it got better with the later seasons. So I endured and sat through it. And true enough, you actually just have to get past the first one and a half seasons, then the series actually starts to pick up and improve greatly with each season. And especially seasons 6 and 7 were quite phenomenal.

There are many, many different story arcs throughout the seven seasons, some with greater appeal and contents than others, of course. As it was to be expected from something running for seven seasons. So there is a great that that "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" actually holds something for just about any one in the audience.

And I have to admit that I am glad that I returned to re-watch this and give it a second chance, because I was definitely missing out on a great many things, despite it being set in the Clone Wars era. And I also have to say that "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" definitely put Darth Maul in a whole new light for me. I didn't like him one bit when I saw him in "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace", but "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" brings so much story to his character and really flesh him out - pardon the pun - to be a much more interesting character than what you see in "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace".

Sure, the animation and art style used in "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" still is something of an acquired taste, but I came to bear with it. But it was by no means something that would win me over if it came down to that.

The series delves greatly into the different story arcs for a great many characters, with the likes of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Count Dooku, Padmé Amidala, Cad Bane, and even clones such as Rex and Cody. Luckily and thankfully the abysmal clown known as Jar Jar Binks wasn't an overshadowing character in the series, as he didn't have that many appearances.

"Star Wars: The Clone Wars" is definitely worth spending the time to sit down and watch. I happened to binge-watch all seven episodes over a course of a couple of days, and I was greatly entertained.

My rating of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" lands on an eight out of ten stars collectively throughout the seven seasons combined.

My Science Project
(1985)

Gonna be an F from me...
I stumbled upon the 1985 movie "My Science Project" from writer and director Jonathan R. Betuel here in 2021. And oddly enough I had never even heard about the movie prior to now, as I had the opportunity to watch it.

And with the likes of John Stockwell, Ann Wedgeworth, Dennis Hopper and Barry Corbin on the cast list, I figured that this couldn't be all bad.

But I was wrong.

"My Science Project" utterly failed to entertain me. I just had such a difficult time submerging myself into the storyline and take it seriously. The storyline was just so far out there and cluttered that it offered next to no entertainment or enjoyment to me.

Sure, this movie bears signs of being made in 1985 with the special effects and such. But it actually worked well enough in favor of the movie, as it added that classic and retro charm to it. Just a shame that the storyline itself was utter rubbish.

I am rating "My Science Project" a generous two out of ten stars. This was not a grand moment in the Hollywood cinema history. Nor is it a movie that I would return to watch a second time, much less recommend to anyone to waste their time, money or effort on.

Yi ching chun dik ming yi
(2017)

Slow paced drama about essentially nothing...
I stumbled upon the 2017 movie "In Your Dreams" (aka "Yi ching chun dik ming yi") here in 2021. And needless to say that with my fascination with the Hong Kong cinema, then of course I found the time to sit down to watch writer and director Wai Ching Tam's 2017 movie.

Sure, the synopsis for the movie sounded interesting and it was definitely something that helped to sell the movie. But wow, this movie was bland, mundane, slow paced and downright uneventful. And I will even go as far as to saying that the movie was sort of far out there, bordering on being tripping at times.

The storyline promised a lot, given the synopsis, but writer and director Wai Ching Tam didn't manage to deliver a movie that proved as interesting or entertaining as the synopsis made the movie sound like. Sure, I managed to sit through the entire ordeal - and yeah, it was an ordeal - hoping that the movie would pick up its pace and become better and more entertaining, but it just never did that.

This movie was essentially about to awkward existences in the form of a teenager with a crush on his mature substitute teacher, and the substitute teacher's inability to deal and cope with her husbands adultery. Sounded interesting enough. But writer and director Wai Ching Tam just dragged out everything to a stretch where it become a nuisance to sit through, and nothing overly interesting actually happened throughout the course of the movie.

It should be said, though, that the movie have some strong and believable acting performances by the two leads; Carina Lau (playing the substitute teacher) and Siu Hin Ng (playing the student).

"In Your Dreams" was a disappointing movie, though I managed to sit through the entire movie. I will say, though, that this is definitely not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time.

My rating of this 2017 Hong Kong drama lands on a mere three out of ten stars.

Gremlin
(2017)

Surprisingly enjoyable actually...
Sure, when I stumbled upon the 2017 movie titled "Gremlin" here in 2021, I was somewhat skeptical about sitting down to watch it. First of all, I hadn't even heard about the movie, and the title was just a bit offsetting given the two older classic horror comedies named "Gremlins". And also the low rating the movie had managed to acquire here on IMDb was sort of working against the movie.

But I opted to give "Gremlin" from writers Ryan Bellgardt, Josh McKamie and Andy Swanson a chance nonetheless. And it actually turned out to be a rather enjoyable movie.

Sure, it was campy and predictable, even generic actually, but there was just something enjoyable about the movie and the storyline that worked out. And for a seasoned horror veteran such as myself then "Gremlin" was actually a bit like a trip back to the horror movies of the late 1980s and early 1990s.

The acting in the movie was fairly wooden and rigid all round, so it is not here that the movie was harvesting any particular points. So you shouldn't get your hopes up for impressive performances in the movie.

Visually then "Gremlin" was actually an adequate movie. Sure, at some times the CGI was a bit wobbly, but for the majority of the movie then the CGI effects were actually working out well enough.

While "Gremlin", from director Ryan Bellgardt, was by no means an outstanding addition to the horror genre, the movie actually provided me with sufficient entertaining and I found it to be surprisingly enjoyable. And this reflects my rating of the movie, which I will active grant a six out of ten stars.

Dancing Ninja
(2010)

Pretty much as to be expected...
Well, at least this 2010 movie "Dancing Ninja" from writer Mitchell Klebanoff was as bad as I had expected it to be. But still, it had David Hasselhoff in it, so I figured I would give it a go.

This movie's storyline felt like it was written by a 10 year old and aimed at an audience of 10 year olds. It was pretty laughable and simplistic, to be brutally honest. So it was a bit difficult to take the movie serious.

And it was a bit hard to fully grasp what went through the minds of directors Mitchell Klebanoff and Kelly Sandefur as they sat down to work collectively on "Dancing Ninja".

Sure, the acting in the movie was adequate, just a shame that the actors and actresses had so very little to work with in terms of a properly entertaining script and storyline.

Ultimately then "Dancing Ninja" is not a movie that you are missing out on if you opt to skip it. And as for it being a ninja movie, nope. Don't even bother with it, as there are no ninjas here. Just a bunch of young people doing karate, and then David Hasselhoff doing something pseudo-karate-like.

My rating of "Dancing Ninja" lands on a three out of ten stars.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
(2021)

Just another generic entry into "The Conjuring" franchise...
I must admit that when I sat down to watch the 2021 addition to "The Conjuring" franchise, I was not harboring much of any overly great expectations or hopes, because since the first movie it has been a steady downward slope.

Still, as I had the chance to sit down and watch "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" from writers David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick and James Wan. So of course I did it.

And I have to say that director Michael Chaves managed to deliver a movie that was only slightly entertaining. "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" was a whole lot of nothing going on, and you can essentially just watch the beginning and the last 25 minutes of the movie and skip on everything in between.

The storyline written for "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" was bland and slow paced, with very little of much excitement or interest happening in between the start and the end of the movie. And that ultimately led to a less than mediocre movie experience for me.

And yeah, I am a horror veteran, so "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" was a walk in park. There were a few jump scare moments to be had here, but they could be seen coming a mile away. And the storyline wasn't particularly dark, brooding or scary. So this was not an impressive foray into the horror genre.

I will say that the special effects in "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" were good, and they definitely added something worthwhile to the movie. And "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" is not a movie that is a make or break experience with its special effects, but they do add a good element to the overall experience of the movie.

The acting in the movie was good, but of course we are talking about actor Patrick Wilson and actress Vera Farmiga here, whom singlehandedly have been carrying the franchise with their performances. And true to the formula, they are the ones making it watchable again with the 2021 "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It". It should also be noted that the casting of Eugenie Bondurant as the occultist was a spot on choice, because she was genuinely creepy with her performance.

As I entered this movie with no expectations I can't say that I was disappointed with the end result. But take heed, this is by no means a milestone in the horror cinema.

"The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" came and went without leaving a lasting impression for me, just as the numerous other movies in the franchise - as their spin-off movies - have done. I can't tell them apart if you were to ask me what the second movie was about, for instance.

My rating of the 2021 "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars. Sure, it was a watchable movie, and if you are new to the horror genre, then you will be in for something good I suppose. But if you expect a bit more from the movies you sit down to watch then "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" just doesn't cut it.

Lucky Luke
(2009)

Nah, not really doing the comic books much justice...
Sure, I knew that there were a movie based on one of my favorite comic books from my childhood. But I have to admit that it was not one that I was in a rush to get to watch. So as it was, by sheer chance, that I stumbled upon the 2009 "Lucky Luke" movie in 2021, of course I took the time to sit down and watch it.

And this was a swing and a miss from director James Huth. I must admit that I was definitely expecting it to be a bit more than what it turned out to be.

First of all, there was the fact that this was a French movie set to take place in the great untamed wilds of America. Great, yeah, except people spoke French. That was just an issue that I couldn't get past. It just brought the movie down so much to a level where it just was hard to take it seriously.

And then there was the fact that the storyline was just a scrambled mess of random scenes - or at least that is what it felt like. The movie was way too chaotic and in disarray for me to find much of any enjoyment in the storyline. It felt like writers Sonja Shillito, James Huth and Jean Dujardin weren't even sparring and communicating amongst themselves to ensure that what one worked on would be carried on by the next.

It should be noted though that the actor Jean Dujardin - playing Lucky Luke - really was rather well-cast for the role of the comic book lonesome cowboy brought to life on the screen. He had that particular charm about him, and the hair.

There were some interesting enough characters in the movie, some that you'd recognize from the comic books as well. But I was desperately missing the Dalton gang in this movie, and the dog Ratata.

All in all, then the 2009 "Lucky Luke" movie was one that had evaded my radar, and it wasn't a movie that really delivered what I was expecting from it. There were so much potential here, but the storyline was just too erratic and the French language was just a bitter pill to swallow.

My rating of "Lucky Luke" lands on a mere three out of ten stars.

Nature Unleashed: Earthquake
(2005)

It managed about 0.1 on the Richter Scale...
Well, sure, I was lured in to watching the 2005 natural disaster movie "Nature Unleashed: Earthquake" here in 2021. And it was because of the movie's cover, it being a natural disaster movie, and also because it was movie that I hadn't already seen, that I sat down to watch this 2005 movie from writer Andy Hurst and director Tibor Takács.

And there shall be no doubt about this when I say that "Nature Unleashed: Earthquake" was by no means a great movie. In fact, the movie's cover was actually the best part about the entire feature. Sad as that may be.

Yeah, the storyline was pretty generic, even for a natural disaster movie. So there wasn't much of any overly interesting entertainment factors to be had here. The whole movie was as predictable as it was generic.

It should be said, though, that some of the scenes with the disaster wrecked by the earthquake tremors weren't actually all that bad. But then on the other hand there were scenes of the same kind that was just downright laughable and painful to witness. Most of the scenes during the quakes just didn't have enough sense of chaos and destruction to it, which ultimately lead to some rather unconvincing scenes, which made the movie suffer terribly. Especially since a natural disaster movie needs to have impact, impressive CGI scenes and lots of edge-of-the-seat moments to capture the audience. That just wasn't present in the 2005 movie "Nature Unleashed: Earthquake".

And it didn't really help much that the characters in the movie were written as generic, wooden and rigid, most of which you don't even really care about one ounce.

All in all, then "Nature Unleashed: Earthquake" was a rather forgettable movie and a very stale experience for a natural disaster movie. I would actually recommend that you don't waste your time, money or effort on this 2005 movie, because it really wasn't worth it.

My rating of "Nature Unleashed: Earthquake" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

In the Earth
(2021)

There was just nothing worthwhile here...
When I read the synopsis for this 2021 movie, I have to admit that I was intrigued and the plot sounded interesting. And with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I found the time to sit down to watch writer and director's Ben Wheatley movie.

Well, I managed to suffer through just under one hour of the ordeal that is otherwise known as "In the Earth", then I just threw the towel into the ring and gave up. This movie was so unfathomably boring and pointless. And I have to say that you have to forget everything you read in the synopsis, because it plays absolutely no real part in the actual movie.

The events that took place through the hour that I suffered through just had nothing to offer in terms of entertainment, and needless to say that the storyline was just so abysmal and boring that no matter what transpired on the screen it just wasn't sufficient to alleviate for the shortcomings of the movie.

The plot was boring and pointless, and so were the characters. Sure, they had gotten some good actors and actresses for the movie, but the error here was that the performers had nothing solid to work with in terms of script and characters. Reece Shearsmith - playing Zach - really carried the movie with his performance, though he could only do so much to salvage the train wreck that is "In the Earth".

Visually then "In the Earth" is a strange movie, and I assume that if you are high on mushrooms or some kind of psychedelics' then you will probably enjoy the odd visuals that permeate the movie. But if you sit down to watch a proper horror movie, then "In the Earth" was just a massive swing and a miss.

Even with having watched an hour of this movie, I sat there with a feeling of 'is this really it?' and 'what a waste of my time this was' as I got up to end the torment.

This is definitely not a movie that I will recommend you waste your time, money or effort on. Some of us suffered through this ordeal in full or parts so you don't have to.

My rating of the 2021 movie "In the Earth" lands on a massively disappointing three out of ten stars.

Cruella
(2021)

Surprisingly good actually...
I must admit that I wasn't really expecting much of anything grand when I sat down to watch the 2021 movie "Cruella". I mean, a movie based on the backstory of a Disney villain. Well, it was hardly stuff that had my knickers in a bunch.

But still, it was a movie that I hadn't already seen and I had to opportunity to watch it, so of course I did. And I must say that writers Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Aline Brosh McKenna, Kelly Marcel and Steve Zissis actually managed to churn out a storyline that proved to be interesting enough.

Sure, while "Cruella" was a watchable movie, it hardly had the contents to it to become a classic. Now, I am not saying that director Craig Gillespie's movie was bad or anything, not at all. But it just didn't have what it took to become a masterpiece and an instant classic.

The storyline was good, and there were some nice aspects to the storyline, along with some curveballs thrown here and there to throw off the audience. And that worked well enough in favor of the movie.

But it was the interesting and well cast ensemble of actors and actresses that made "Cruella" work. Initially I thought that Emma Stone wasn't up to the part of portraying this villainous character. But she definitely was and she made the character very much her own and carried the movie quite well. Needless to say that Emma Stone was easily rivaled by co-star Emma Thompson in this movie. And together they made the movie work quite well.

Visually then I was a bit astounded to see a Disney movie actually carry this kind of dark tone. But hey, it was right up there alongside the "Maleficent" movies, so why not?

I found myself to be entertained by "Cruella", though I doubt it a movie that I will actually ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Cruella" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Dorcha
(2021)

A horror movie without proper horror elements...
I stumbled upon this 2021 movie titled "Dorcha" (aka "The Darkness") and I have to say that I hadn't even heard about it, but of course with it being a new horror movie, then of course I sat down to watch it.

And let me just say that writer and director Tharun Mohan did not deliver an impressive movie here. The storyline was just way too much of a scrambled heap of semi-coherent muddle. It was so difficult to get submerged into the storyline. And it didn't really help much that the pacing of the movie was slow and rather uneventful.

The characters in the movie were fairly lackluster and didn't really come off as being anything more than rigid puppets milling about in what tried to be a proper storyline. It was a shame, though, that the actors and actresses weren't given any proper material to work with here.

For this being a horror movie then the movie was just awfully devoid of anything scary or even remotely on the brink of being proper horror. So for an avid horror fan such as myself, then "Dorcha" was a mere stroll in the park. Not a good stroll, mind you, as the trek was just way too bland, pointless and boring.

My rating of "Dorcha" lands on a generous three out of ten stars. This movie was just not worth the time, money or effort. Do yourself a favor and give the movie a wide berth, especially if you enjoy horror movies, because this movie was such a weak addition to the horror genre.

The Seventh Day
(2021)

Don't expect too much from this generic exorcism movie...
Well, as I sat down to watch the 2021 horror mystery "The Seventh Day" I must admit that two thoughts went through my head. The first thought was with a cast that included both Guy Pearce and Stephen Lang then of course I would be in for a good movie. And my second thought were this will probably be yet another dubious exorcism movie.

Yet, I still opted to sit down to watch "The Seventh Day" from writer and director Justin P. Lange. And yes, "The Seventh Day" was certainly watchable, but that was about it. It was not an overly great movie, despite of having a nice enough twist to the storyline.

Nay, the movie just suffered from being a bit too monotonous. There wasn't enough pacing to the storyline and what did happen throughout the course of the movie just felt somewhat generic and not overly interesting. And that, ultimately, made "The Seventh Day" into a less than mediocre movie experience. Sure, there were aspects of the storyline that proved to have potential, but writer and director Justin P. Lange just didn't fully cash in on these and take full advantage of the material readily at hand.

"The Seventh Day" felt monotonous and sort of lulled me into a dull sense of stupor, as there wasn't a whole lot of things going on throughout the course of the movie. Yet, I managed to endure this to the very end. But, alas, I wasn't overly impressed or overly entertained by what transpired.

The acting performances in the movie were okay. Sure, I had expected more from Guy Pearce, but Stephen Lang was hardly in the movie at all, which actually was a shame.

All in all, then "The Seventh Day" is not a movie that enrichen the horror genre, nor is it a particularly outstanding foray into the demonic possession and exorcism subgenres. The things that transpire in this movie is basically something that has been seen and done in other movies, more often than not, also done better in other movies. So this is not a revolutionary movie in any way.

My rating of "The Seventh Day" lands on a four out of ten stars, as it was somewhat of a disappointing movie.

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