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You will have to use a lot of "willing suspension of disbelief" to get through this turkey. Prequel shows two of the oldest "teenagers" you ever saw being stalked in the cleanest uninhabited castle on film. Rats are played by guinea pigs. The girls are tortured on the rack and killed but when their bodies are found on the castle grounds, town constable Barney Fife pronounces them dead of exposure. There is a deformed (bad Don Post mask) guy named Hugo who wonders around in a tattered three piece suit, chuckling a lot. His performance makes Tor Johnson seem like Dustin Hoffman. Add in an evil Indian (caucasian in brown greasepaint and turban), a nosy reporter who after giving the heroine a ride is ready to spend his life with her, and a housekeeper who goes by Elizabeth but everyone knows her as Betty!! The soundtrack is a mash-up of Addams Family organ and Tom & Jerry cartoon bassoon music. Where is the hidden diamond? Is Anna the reincarnation of Irene? Where is Irene's body after 20 years? Why is there a screen credit for "Trick Photography"? Watch this turkey and find out. A real howler!!!

This film doesn't know whether to take itself seriously as a low low budget skid row mystery or as a Three Stooges film short. The comedy is low brow, slow paced and gets old rather quickly. Be prepared to give more than the usual "willing suspension of disbelief" to get thru the Holland tunnel sized holes in the plot. The largest hole is the pivotal role of Rene. If you have a DVD reacquaint yourself with the "woman" who appears early on in the film in a mock attempt to "blackmail" George Zucco-then compare "her" to Rene when exposed at the end of the film. Are we really to believe that this actor was in drag in the earlier appearance? Heck no. And that is only one of the staggering bits of ineptness rampant in this film. The annoying reporter and his dimwit girlfriend only add more frustration to this mess. Notice how everybody talks about it but nobody ever calls the police-excepting when the reporter says, "In the morning when the police get here..." Don't know why the police don't come out at night-maybe they have banker's hours? A real turkey. Not even so-bad-it's good! Skip it.

I'd read a lot about this film and was excited to view it. While not a complete turkey this one may not be worth your time or effort. The script seems hurried and incomplete and requires a incredible amount of willing suspension of disbelief. Could not understand how this average sized man with one machete and an old flintlock pistol could maintain control over several hearty sea dogs. Adding to this mystery is why they readily submit to his authority without much attempt to gain the upper hand. Also one wonders how this group continue to survive on a rather smallish island that looks pretty desolate-lots of rocks and cliffs and shore but not much vegetation and no animal life-other than fish. In retrospect the whole thing seems pretty laughable. The Iquana makeup effect looks like a B-movie rubber appliance and the much touted beheading scene was done with a coconut on a dummy's shoulders. Listen for the Three Stooges "ka-thunk" sound effect when the head hits the ground. Really bad stuff here. I give it 3 stars for the cinematography as there are some beautiful oceanic scenes found here. If you're curious about this film then at least you have some idea of what you're in for.

Most of the Bulldog Drummond films are slight on the mystery plots and were watchable mostly because of the supporting casts. Who will forget Tenny or Algy or the constantly frustrated Phyllis? You probably remember more about them then any of the plot lines they were involved in. This final Drummond film of the '30's is very tired. Way too much bumbling and comedy and not much drama ( and no mystery) at all. Watch for the scene where Phyllis and her aunt are shown listening to the radio waiting for a late BBC news broadcast.Minutes later when Bulldog arrives and inquires about the radio he is told that it was taken to the police station by Gaston. We saw that happen several scenes before. Talk about a lapse of continuity (or did some explanatory scene get excised for time?) A word of warning regarding the transfers available via Alpha Video. Almost to a title I noticed that the running time is less than what is stated on the package and the IMDb. Based upon content it looks like these may have been shaved to fit into a 60 minute time slot (allowing for commercials etc.) as these titles are several minutes shorter than listed. Most titles originally ran 55 to 67 minutes but all have been shortened to @ 48 to 51 minute run times.Makes me wonder.

First off I only wanted to see this movie because of Tiny Tim's participation. Actually he is one of the better actors in the cast and that is saying something. There is so much wrong with this film that I can't begin to list everything. First, the female lead character is supposed to be a Wisconsin farm girl yet you can tell that English is not her first language. This calls for a huge suspension of disbelief right from the start. The movie uses the same gore effect-slicing the throat-over and over again. The appliance used is quite noticeable. The female lead spends 80% of her time in her boyfriend's shirt and a thong-even when people stop by to visit. There seems to be an abundance of peeping in windows-everybody including the sheriff does it. And even tho she fears for her life and is receiving threatening phone calls she never locks a door. Friends, sheriffs, murderers continually stroll in unannounced and it hardly phases her. She is a comely woman with legs that go all the way up and a nice rack. Her ample bosom is on display an inordinate amount of time even for an 80's era hack film like this. Every plot device is telegraphed and you've seen this a hundred times before and done much better. The identity of the killer isn't even hidden well-a stocking over the head-please give me a break. If you love Tiny you'll enjoy his performance but keep the fast forward button handy.I gave this film a extra point only because of the level of nudity, frequent and full frontal.

You could do a lot worse with 69(!) minutes of your time. Here is a tight little potboiler of 16 year old Marie and her sexual awakening. Of course you have to forget that the actress is well above that age. Just compare her to the actress playing her mother and you will note that there can't be more than a couple years between them. This has the stilted acting (?),stationary camera shots (it occasionally pans from left to right) and awkward scene endings (the actors freeze and wait for a camera dissolve) that good ol' H. G. Lewis is known for. If you are part of the raincoat crowd you won't be seeing much boobage and buttsteak but what is shown is attractive. There is a shot of "mom's" prat when her lover scoops her up in the dining room to carry her upstairs. I don't know how they snuck that one in. A curiosity of the late 1960's for sure but this isn't art!!

This one rates a 10 because it pulls no punches. The first time I saw this on a bootlegged VHS I couldn't believe what I was watching. This short film (35 minutes) plays out like a low budget documentary.If it weren't for the killings I would venture to say that most of what is being seen is actually happening. Lydia is up to the task (and genuinely seems surprised) when her client graphically porks her poop chute and later on "fingers" her with a gun barrel.I recommend that you purchase the R.Kern short film collection called "Hardcore". Along with "Fingered" there are so many more disturbing shorts to be found there. Be advised this film is not for everyone but if you like your art hot and nasty and shocking you can't go wrong here.

Do not waste your time on this film for one good special effect (and even that is milked for all it is worth). Who would put their name on this film or even want to be remotely connected with it? It really is that bad. Pish poor in all departments, especially scripting and acting. It looks like one of those films where friends fill in for extras. The problem is the friends stick out like sore thumbs as soon as they realize the camera is running. I also gave this one a look based upon the 4 star rating on Netfilx. It took about 3 minutes to realize I had been misled. I stayed with the film for the duration but it only got worse and worse. And how about that "shock" ending?? Hee hee, who didn't see that one coming? Jeesh!

In the opening titles they give special credit to the special/makeup effects guy. WHY? The small amount of effects called for in this movie are all done pathetically bad. The acting is really atrocious, believe me it goes from bad to laughingly worse. The tedium in this script is unbearable,. It takes 50 minutes of running time to get to any action. When I say "action" I am not talking "Poltergeist" level action. Action is 5 minutes of the white witch mumbling nonsense syllables and Runic names while an empty rocking chair moves slowly back and forth. This movie is too tedious to recommend as a so-bad-it's-good movie. Avoid it. Really. Avoid it.

I tried to like this film but it requires too much suspension of disbelief. First and foremost the lead character "Shayne" survives falling off a cliff and ends up with innumerable injuries. We see him profusely bleeding along the waistline. He ends up walking long distances while injured yet still has the ability to run like a rabbit when gunfire erupts. There also seems to be a problem with most of the armed men in this movie as they never take a shot at the heavy even when they have the element of surprise with them. One poor bastard even squeezes off 6 shots at a distance of 15 feet and never hits the heavy. Add to the mix that although this film happens in a small rural Aussie town, aside from the few principals, nobody else is ever seen. Keep in mind that automatic gun fire, car wrecks and explosions are occurring right in the middle of Main Street but nobody even goes to a window to see that is happening. There is talk of "a big storm brewing" but aside from the allegory to the story it fails to materialize. I guess all the town folk are hold up waiting for the big storm to blow over. Cliché after cliché leads to an ending you can see coming from the beginning of the film. A real letdown.

Technically this should be listed under "Goofs" as it not so much a review. While watching the film I noticed during the two scenes that occur around the breakfast table if you look out the window, just past the fake foliage, you will notice late 1950's cars whisking by on an obviously very busy street. The story is set on an isolated wooded estate 20 years after the death of Dr. Jekyll which should put this in the early 1900's. Gloria Talbott is seen wearing a corset and a bustle with high button boots and John Agar wears a striped jacket like those worn by barber shop quartets. Obviously there should not be sedans whizzing by the estate. The only reason I wanted to see this film was due to the participation of Gloria Talbot-a real 50's fave and quite the knockout. She did not disappoint.

Let's face it. This movie sucks. It doesn't even fit in the "so bad it's good" category. Low low budget, horribly staged fight and rumble scenes-c'mon guys, somebody take a punch! This is another one of those movies where you can be shot or stabbed and there is never any blood. How this can be called exploitation is beyond me. Just because it's from the early 60's, is shot in black and white and has "teenage" in the title does not make it an undiscovered classic. Something Weird has so many better titles along this same ilk. Nothing happens in this film. The sex and violence and even the language are all rated G. Pass on this timekiller. Even the soundtrack music leaves much to be desired and you've heard it a million times. Every 60's porno loop lifted the same music and it was put to better use!

This version of "A Christmas Carol" is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to start. First and foremost is Finney's depiction of Scrooge. His interpretation consists of a constant half sneer on his mushmouth and his diction delivers like John Cleese in drag. The songs are bargain basement "showtunes" and add nothing to the story. The painted backdrops and extremely bad "special effects" boggle the mind.The screenwriter has eliminated some of the basic tenets of the tale so that more time can be spent at Fezziwigs and in Hell. Both seem strangely interchangeable. When will these crappy Scrooge productions stop using the party at Fezziwigs as an excuse to ramp up the lame choreography? This looks like a community theater production of "Seven Brides" for Chrissakes! Add to this one of the worst child actors I have ever witnessed in the role of Tiny Tim. You wouldn't buy this kid having a bad cold let alone having a life threatening illness. He leans against his crutch like he's ready to light a cig. Oh, and they added an 18th century wheelchair for him to get around in. Just when I thought this could not get any worse, the rousing finale has Scrooge donning a Father Christmas outfit to bestow liquor and gifts on the entire citizenry of the hamlet. I have to ask......IS NOTHING SACRED?? This turkey stands proudly alongside that other musical Scrooge abomination from a few years back that starred Kelsey Grammar. A double bill direct from Hell.Marley got off easy being fettered in chains. The real torture would be having to view this steaming pile of poo again.

This film is a putrid attempt to remake a drive-in trash film from the '70's but you know all that from the other reviews. I like a good tribute to trash and this is not it. If you feel you must see this then I advise that you watch the 3 minute trailer. It contains all the bloodletting and nudity you'll need to see. Plus it makes the film seem that much more intense and interesting than it really is. Pathetic acting ALL THE WAY AROUND make this a true time waster. If you get your kicks looking at Playboy level sweater meat then by all means, have at it. There are boobs a plenty on display but, with one exception, they are attached to some damned ugly women! Save your time and money and frustration level and SKIP THIS. It's so bad I didn't even keep a copy for myself and I copied "Crazy Fat Ethel (pt.2)" for Chrissakes!!

Sure it has no budget. Sure it was shot on video. Sure the actors are community theater stock. Sure the props were all obtained at the local porn outlet. Sure the story makes little sense. Sure the effects are robust and disgusting and more than a little amateurish. Sure the whole thing reeks of high-school level obnoxiousness. Sure it's bloody and disgusting. Sure it's funny. Sure didn't take itself too seriously. Sure it's like a train wreck that you can't turn away from. Sure most people are going to hate this movie. Sure they are correct. But I sure did like it. I can't wait to see his prior movie "Gutterballs". I haven't laughed and been repulsed like this since I saw "Redneck Zombies". I love this kind of gorilla film-making-it's cheap and often a labor of love. The director comments that the film took 10 days to shoot and he considers it an epic! You have to love that. This is not "Citizen Kane" but I would take this over the next "Halloween", "Friday the 13th" or "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake any day.

The film is an absolute snoozer. Comparing this to Eraserhead, Solaris, etc. is like comparing Christmas to Kwanza-one is the established real deal and the other is a pale, pale wannabe.Yes, they both occur in December but that is where the similarities end. The only thing I can recommend about this film is the soundtrack and the incredible 5.1 surround mix. Kudos to whomever was involved in mixing. Both the music and the spoken audio are taken to new places by this mix. That would be it for anything positive I would have to say. Low low budget coupled with non-actors, no script, and the realization that nobody gives a tinker's damn about any of the characters, let alone what is happening to them weighs this turkey down. 83 minutes shot to hell.

I paid $5 for this DVD (which contains two movies -see Corpse Master) and still feel ripped off. The story has nothing to even remotely connect it to Phantasm. You can read the previous reviews for content and picture/print quality, I won't belay their point. But be aware that this is a real test of patience. The supernatural elements in this movie would fit in a good 3 minute trailer. The Islamic bend to the story is no great shakes. I did think it was funny when the caretaker stumbles across a huge incense spewing shrine to the devil in the governess' bedroom. He doesn't realize it is a shrine to evil until he notices a skull and a crucifix(!) hidden under the shrine table. Nothing more terrifying than the most holy symbol of the INFIDELS! Pass on this turkey-the companion Chinese movie, Corpse Master, is an even bigger piece of crap.

This sequel to Schizophreniac (1997) is actually worse than the original. I know, it's mind- boggling! See my review on the first film and then add these comments for this sequel. Apparently this is how the director makes his movies: Borrow the family video camera and a couple of bucks for gas money. Round up your untalented, stoner friends and say, "Hey gang, let's make a movie!" Cast the same lead "actor" (or any other real-life mincing, dwarf-size semi-clubfoot screamer) and let him rant without script or direction for 90 minutes. Note to director: puh- leeze never let John "run" again-that weird one-leg-is-shorter-than-the-other-lope of his does nothing but make us guffaw. Get $3 or $4 bucks and hire the most unattractive strippers you can find, have their characters get immediately naked, then point the camera at their love dugout no matter what else is happening in the action. This is shot in Vegas. You would think he could find some good looking cheap strippers! Jeesh. Gets lots of catsup and plastic bleach bottles, some oatmeal and a mannequin and the special effects take care of themselves. This is a terrible waste of film and YOUR time. Skip it. Skip everything this "director" touches. For true guerrilla film-making on a shoestring-check out the films of Nathan Schiff-now they are so bad they are good.

Caca Brute in Italian translates into "really stinky poop." This movie is a mess. It doesn't know what it wants to be, love story, giallo, thriller,soft core, etc. It might be that is was a joint Italian-French production that adds to it's dichotomy. I really found nothing in this film to recommend it to anyone interested in the Italian giallo genre or Freda's work in general. I was watching a fairly good print of the film and still found it extremely dark and/or poorly lit (so much so that I had to strain to make sure of whom I was seeing). The "plot" is threadbare and you can spot the killer almost from their introduction into the movie. The effects are shoddy, the dubbing is shoddy, even the music is shoddy. Skip this one. You really haven't missed a thing.

This title is now available via Sinister Cinema. The print is in great shape with just a few frame jumps scattered throughout the film. This pilot plays out like you would expect it to. The script is tight to keep the film to @60 minutes. It does have the feel and pacing of a television episode but is done well. The acting is good and the film is very atmospheric. I was surprised to see Leslie Nielson in the lead role. He has a rather evil looking dwarf for a manservant. I kept looking for Werner Klemperer as I noticed his name in the opening credits but must admit he got by me. I only found him by checking the acting/character names at the end of the film. He is in heavy makeup while on screen and even his voice is not recognizable. One negative note is the soundtrack composed by Lalo Shifrin. It contains some mighty cheesy organ playing and detached female vocalizing not unlike the original Star Trek theme! Catch this if you can. It's a neat little thriller and you could do a lot worse.

I really enjoyed this low budget film from England. For some reason their low budget films don't skimp on the details. The studios used look nothing like the basement studios of American cheapies. There are moments of over the top acting and reacting but for the 1930's, it's not that far from the norm. Sexton Blake is the "other guy" who lives on Baker street. He has a sidekick named "Tinker" who dabbles in scientific experiments. These two are no Holmes and Watson but are quite enjoyable nonetheless. SPOILER ALERT! The only downside to this film and why I entered a spoiler alert is the story continues on with the next film in the series. Not seeing the villain, Tod Slaughter, get his just desserts was a bit of a letdown. The fact that this series is not commercially available adds to the frustration of seeing how this all turns out. I will start my quest to find as many of these films as possible in the grey area of collecting. Sinister Cinema offers a great print of this title.

This film gives independent and guerrilla film-making a bad name. Truly a no talent affair across the boards. I've seen high school project movies that are a better caliber. Pure and utter crap not in the same vein as Ed Wood or Andy Milligan but true excrement. The lead "actor" instead of being evil or fearsome instead inspires guffaws of laughter as we watch him mince around naked or in lingerie with his junk exposed. This refugee from the Village People also appears to be a semi-clubfoot in reality. Watching him lope around and run with that weird gait indicates this was not an affectation of character but a real handicap. His many rants on sodomy appear to be from real life and not from script. I noticed he is given credit for additional dialog so maybe..... This is pure caca, wait, it's what I call "leavins'-the stuff that remains in the toilet bowl after the flush has completed.

I finally found a DVD bootleg of this movie. I have been trying to see it for 40 years. Of course the version I found looks like it was struck from a third generation VHS copy but it is watchable and uncut. First and foremost the soundtrack is remarkable. Those familiar with Frank Zappa's early work will love it. It runs under most of the dialog and is highlighted in several areas. Mercedes McCambridge gives an A+ performance and is the lone talent in the cast. The screenplay is amateurish but honest. I particularly liked a scene where Mercedes states that "there ain't no blood on my hands" and continues in the same vein for about a minute. After her brother says, "No blood on YOUR hands" she repeats the exact same piece of dialog she just recited, word for word. Technically this is a much better film than several of Warhol, Waters and Wood's early works. The scenes are well thought out, framed and shot well. The audio is also of professional quality. I hope somebody obtains the rights to this film and gets a pristine version out on the market. The budget is nil but the actors all seem sincere and committed. This film deserves to be seen.

Many of the other reviewers cite the suspect quality of this release on Retromedia. I just purchased this title from Sinister Cinema and the print quality is very good. The color is not as vivid as one would prefer but is not washed out in the least. Considering the movie is almost 40 years old the color of the print is really quite fine. The print has no jump cuts or jarring splices, the audio and video are in perfect sync and the print runs a full 84 minutes.My rating is specifically for overall print quality. As with most other reviewers, I found the movie a bit tedious but I'm glad that I watched it and own a copy. Kudos to Sinister Cinema as they are a consistent class act in regards to making hard to find titles available in the best possible presentation. Their Krimi releases are especially outstanding!

In an attempt to clean up the soundtrack, which is rather scratchy and noisy, a digital audio remastering was done. The problem with this remastering is that between every line of dialog (where the background soundtrack noise would be audible) has now been reduced to absolute silence. The effect is jarring when you watch the movie as the dialog appears to start and stop. It is bad enough when listening via regular TV speakers but when run through an amplified system it becomes unnerving. Additionally, when there is background music in these segments between dialogue the music sounds incredibly muted. The same problem exists on Alpha Video's companion DVD "Sweeney Tood" so beware. These movies are 70+ years old and some leniency must be allowed when viewing these old prints. In this case, those who transfer these items to digital should have left well enough alone.