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Reviews

How I Met Your Mother: Last Forever: Part Two
(2014)
Episode 24, Season 9

Legen...wait for it...wait for it...Disappointing!
Let me start of by saying How I Met Your Mother was one of my favorite shows. I enjoyed the characters, the jokes, the stories, everything about it. I will even admit to liking the later seasons. This past season did have its ups and downs, but it started picking up steam again when they told the mother's back story. After the penultimate episode I was ready for a hilarious, bittersweet and satisfying ending to one of my favorite shows. This finale made me angry for many reasons.

I'll get my main positives out of the way first. First off, I loved all the callbacks to the previous episodes. It made me remember the funny characters and the adventures they had. Also, I really enjoyed Ted and Tracy. I actually really liked them as a couple, they seemed perfect for each other just like Marshall and Lily and Barney and Robin. I was also glad that they showed the various stages of Ted and Tracy's relationship which they probably should of done in this season to be honest with you. No let's get to my rant.

1. Marshall and Lily are barely in this episode. They're only in scenes because the plot demands it. They were my favorite couple on TV and it made me mad that they weren't in the finale as much. I will admit I did like where they ended up for the most part.

2. I was rooting for Barney and Robin, because they seemed just as perfect for each other just like Marshall and Lily were perfect for each other. What happens in the finale? They get divorced because Robin's a big star now. Seriously? Why? When did this come in? And what was the point of having the entire season take place during the weekend of their wedding if they were just going to get divorced anyways?

3. Barney becomes a ladies man again following his divorce. Seriously? Then, he gets a girl (who we don't see on camera) pregnant and he becomes happy again because of his new daughter. It's great that the writers wasted nine years of character development on Barney, just to devolve him and make him a human being again after nine minutes.

4. Why did the mother have to die? Why didn't they explain as to why she died? And there's no funeral as well? I know that it was just a theory and all, but that's one great thing about this show. It had good surprises. But the biggest surprise was anything but good.

5. We got to talk about the final scene and everything that is wrong with it. First off, what as the point of having Bob Saget narrate the majority of the series if he won't make a cameo in the finale? Also, it's understandable that Ted would not be willing to date after his wife's death. But, he asks his kid's permission to date Robin again even though it's been clearly seen multiple times that they don't really belong together? Seriously, Barney and Robin are supposed to be together and Ted is supposed to stay with Tracy? Ted is pretty much saying to his kids, "Yeah your mother was mostly a rebound for me, but I'm still in love with Robin." Seriously Ted, this looked pathetic in the later seasons, Robin doesn't love you anymore and she's moved on. Also, this would break the bro code?

6. What about the Pineapple???????????????????????

Overall, this is by far the most disappointing series finale that I have seen, and no I have not watched the series finale of Dexter. This season takes everything that was great about the series and just completely ruins. It ruins nine years of character development, makes really terrible decisions and wastes a lot of opportunities. To me, the series ended when Barney and Robin got married.

The Millers
(2013)

This Show got the time slot after The Big Bang Theory. Why?
Out of all the new shows that were debuting this season, this was one of the ones I had mixed reactions about. The cast sounds incredible. With the talents of people like Will Arnett, Margo Martindale, Beau Bridges, JB Smoove and Jayma Mays, it sounds like they would have great chemistry. Also, Greg Garcia is the creator of the one of the most underrated shows right now Raising Hope, which I also had mixed reactions toward before watching it, and it turned out be one of my favorite shows from 2010. The premise sounded really generic and the jokes sounded really lame from the preview. But that was the least of my problems.

This show really wasn't that good. It wasn't all that funny. Fart jokes are not funny anymore...oh wait...EVER! As for the cast, they're all being underused. Will Arnett wasn't funny, Margo Martindale was annoying, Jayma Mays was boring, JB Smoove wasn't funny either and Beau Bridges just annoyed me almost as much as Margo. The writers think by having her character as a chatty person and Beau Bridges's character as a total idiot is funny. However, they use lame jokes that we've seen over and over and over again and we'll probably continue to see them in the next few years. I haven't gotten to my biggest problem with this show.

The laugh track, is so damn annoying. They use the laugh track like every two seconds. They use it for situations that are not even funny. My love of laugh track sitcoms are dying and they're dying fast.

My biggest question with this show is why did it get paired up after The Big Bang Theory? The Big Bang Theory is probably the last laugh track sitcom that I still like, but CBS picked the wrong show to put on after it. The Crazy Ones and Mom are better than this and one of those shows should be on after The Big Bang Theory, not this generic and repetitive garbage.

So in the end, if you liked the preview, you'll like the show. If you didn't like the preview, you won't like the show. The cast is incredibly underused and I hope this show can get better from the pilot at least.

Sucker Punch
(2011)

Awful...Just Awful
My sister and I were talking about the Man of Steel trailer and I said that Zack Snyder probably wasn't the best choice to direct Man of Steel. I gave Sucker Punch being a disappointment for critics and audiences. My sister said it was great. Then again, she likes Green Lantern, Indiana Jones 4 and the Star Wars prequels. So, she lent it to me to watch and I was shocked. Here's why:

1. The Plot: It's another bland prison escape movie, just with hot chicks who fight dragons, samurai and zombies for no real reason except that Zack Snyder thought it would be awesome. The problem is, is that the fights with the dragon, samurai, zombies and other things make no sense whatsoever. For example, if they needed an item with a dragon on it, they could've fought the dragon. In a movie that's suppose to be symbolic, that kind of seems like a good idea that the director forgot about. Don't say that I don't get it, because I understood everything about this movie.

2. The Heroes: The heroes are incredibly boring. They show no emotion whatsoever. They don't even seem like they want to be there. By that I mean, the actors don't want to be on set. They don't even bother to ask each other about each other. They could ask each other what their real names are and try to identify themselves outside of this prison, but since when does Zach Snyder care about character development? Also, why not have some of these girls die off in these earlier action sequences? I mean it's a fantasy after all, so they wouldn't actually die, but that would help them make them stronger in the next sequence. But since no one dies, it's just incredibly boring. Also, since all Babydoll has to do to get in these fantasy worlds is dance, why not show the dance? Well, because Zach Snyder says that he didn't want to show her dancing because it was a female empowerment story. So, it was sexist to show her dancing, but it wasn't sexist to show all of the girl's panties while they were fighting? I'll get back to that point later.

3. Everyone Else: The main villain is this clichéd villain, who just hates these characters for no real reason other than being a sexist a-hole. Also, he is overacting in every scene he's in. The heroes are under acting and the villains are over acting, and it just comes off as just plain awful. Carla Gugino provides nothing in this movie whatsoever. Also, Babydoll's step dad is an idiot. So he doesn't get money from his wife so in order to get it, he starts raping Babydoll's sister? Why doesn't he just kill them, make it look like an accident and just collect the money? Oh yeah, because all men are idiots and jerks apparently. I'll get back to this point later as well.

4. The Visuals, Cinematography and Music The visuals, which probably drove most people to see it, are not that impressive. I've seen better special effects in TV shows. The cinematography is probably the only good thing in this movie, but it's not that good, it's only okay. The music, I hate the music. All of the music is just cover songs that don't really sound that good. I prefer the original songs. What's wrong with the original songs? Maybe it's copyright reasons, who knows? More importantly, who cares? Apparently I do since I'm writing this review.

5. Sexism at its finest This movie manages to be offensive to men and women. It's offensive to men, because it treats every male character like a jerk and an idiot. Not all men are jerks and idiots. Worst of all, they treat women so poorly. They don't give these girls that much of an identity, they're boring, I couldn't care about them. The worst part of that is, is that these girls are tired are being treated as sex objects and are trying to break out of this prison, but they constantly fight all of these random things in slow motion (which there's too much of), half-naked. How is that empowering to women? I don't approve of sexism of any kind, but this movie just doesn't get it.

Overall, this was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's boring, pretentious, clichéd, predictable and hypocritical movies I've ever seen. The actors are either under acting or over acting. The visuals are not that impressive. They manage to offend men, because it treats them like jerks and a-holes. They manage to offend women, because they sexualize them when they don't want to be sexualized by these clients and are not really all that empowering. It's like watching someone play a video game, they're doing all the action and you're just sitting bored out of your mind.

The worst part of this whole experience is not the acting, the accidental sexism, but that my sister yelled at me because I didn't like it. I showed her a list of the most disappointing movies a long time ago and this was placed at number 7. She explained this by saying that people don't understand good filmmaking. This? Good filmmaking? If people don't understand it's good filmmaking, then explain why critics and audiences love movies like The Godfather, Inception, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption and The Lord of the Rings to name a few, and why people hate movies like recent spoof movies, Transformers, Twilight, The Last Airbender and others? Calling this good filmmaking is like calling Jersey Shore quality television. I understand it's her opinion and she's a feminist and all. But, she should be offended by the characters and how they're not all that empowering, but I can see where she's coming from. Where I'm coming from, this movie is awful. It manages offend men, women and possibly everyone's intelligence.

Marvin Marvin
(2012)

I knew it was going to be bad. But I didn't think it would be this bad.
When I first saw the ads on Nickelodeon, I figured that this show would be garbage. But, I didn't think it would be this bad. Everything about this show is awful in so many ways. Let's start with the acting - beyond awful. Lucas Cruikshank was incredibly annoying as Marvin. Actually, calling him annoying is like calling Bin Laden a jerk - it's true, but it's not enough to call them that. Every one else in the show is bad. All the children actors are bad but are not as annoying as Marvin. Also, the adults overact as well. They act like everything is the most serious thing ever. Also, the plot of the series is something we've probably seen numerous times before. In fact, this kind of sounds like it could be a drama on ABC family. For that to happen, get rid of all the actors, get better writers, lose all the bad comedy, get good actors, have a back story and make the characters at least a little likable. While I was watching this, all I was thinking was "We're they reading this script?" Probably not. I mean if the adults were doing this for their kids or something, that's fine. Kids will probably enjoy this, but do know what these kids are into these days? I can only think of two positives about this: 1. it does teach that nobody should be judged for anything - but that could work if it wasn't so annoying and it probably focused on a real issue. Can't Nickelodeon do a show about a family raising a gay son or lesbian daughter? Or be raised by two moms or two dads? It's real, it's current and it would be interesting and give credibility to Nickelodeon. But no, Nickelodeon has to give this show to Fred just to keep him relevant. The other positive is that with this new show for Lucas Cruikshank, Fred: The Show is canceled. Then again after watching this, it made me want to watch Fred videos willingly and I would never do that - EVER! If you thought Nickeloden was dead before, they are officially dead now.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
(2012)

What's with all the hate?
First of all, I'm not too big of a fan of The Lord of the Rings. I say that because I have never read the books but the movies are fantastic and I was very excited to see this. But then I heard all of the negative reviews and I was worried. I went in not really expecting much, but I felt it was almost as good as the trilogy. First off, the performances are fantastic, especially from Martin Freeman, Andy Serkis and Ian McKellan. Everybody else is fantastic in the roles. I also liked the comic relief in the movie, as I felt that the first trilogy was a little too serious at times. But don't worry, it isn't like the Star Wars trilogy at all. At least The Hobbit's tolerable. Also, I know it's almost three hours long, but it felt like an hour and a half. Any movie that can do that is good in my book. The scene between Gollum and Bilbo is also worth the price of admission alone. But like most movies, it's not perfect. While I enjoyed the comic relief at first, it did get old by the middle of the movie. But if you love The Lord of the Rings, just go in and lower you expectations a little bit, and you will enjoy it.

Two and a Half Men
(2003)

I use to love this show. I was young, I didn't know any better
I'm not joking. I used to love this show. It was my favorite show. I looked forward to watching it everyday. Now that I think about it, I don't remember what I liked about the show exactly. But, now I have finally seen the light, and how bad this show is. It's just unfunny, whether Charlie Sheen is the lead or Ashton Kutcher is the lead. It doesn't matter, because the show still sucks. Every single character on here is horrible and unfunny. Every single joke is repetitive and unfunny after the second time. This show gets progressively worse and worse and they're really running out of ideas at this point. At first, I liked the earlier seasons when Jake was younger and actually funny, but he's just bad now. I hate this show. I'm trying to quit watching this show. It's awful. Please don't watch it ever. If you haven't seen it within the last ten years, you are a decent human being. I can see why Angus T. Jones has called this show "filth". It's awful, it's horrible, any other word for awful. It's that bad.

Disaster Movie
(2008)

Words can't describe how much I hate this movie
This is the worst movie that I have ever seen in my life. That includes movies like Batman and Robin, Last Airbender and all the other spoof movies from these guys. I even knew that this movie was going to be bad. I didn't think it would be this bad. I remember watching Epic Movie when I was twelve and even then I knew that was garbage. This was way worse than Epic Movie, that's hard to say. This movie is by far the worst out of all their spoof movies. Every time they parody something, it's just so unfunny that I was actually cringing. Here's probably the worst part of the movie. All of their other spoof movies seemed like they had a main parody. Epic Movie had the Chronicles of Narnia, Meet the Spartans had 300, this movie has nothing. That's probably the best definition of this movie, it's nothing, absolutely nothing. Out of all the movies that came out from 2007-2008, they really couldn't think of one disaster movie to have the movie be a main parody of? I Am Legend and Cloverfield came out during the same time these other movies parodied came out. It would've some sort of sense if they made fun of either of those movies. But no, they just parody movies that were either extremely popular (The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Indiana Jones 4), well-known movies (Superbad, Juno, No Country for Old Men), or movies they believed would be big hits (10,000 BC, Prince Caspian, Speed Racer). Not a single disaster movie is parodied in a movie ironically called Disaster movie. The acting, forget about it. The writing, forget about it. Originally there were a few things that were actually cool in the movie the first time I saw them. They were the cat fight between Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra, and the song towards the end of the movie. Now that I think of that, they sucked just as much as this movie. I'm done with any spoof movie that comes out at this point. Go watch classic spoofs like Airplane. I'd even say watch the Scary Movie movies if you want to watch a spoof movie. Even they're not even good, you'll probably get more laughs out of any Scary Movie movie than in this hour and a half of laugh-free pain and agony.

The New Normal
(2012)

This was suppose to be a sitcom right?
Honestly, I wasn't really looking forward to this show. But, I had to watch it considering I was trying to watch every pilot this season. I got to watch the pilot early, and I really couldn't have cared less. I'll start off with the only positive I can see. The main couple works really well together, and they make this show at least a little tolerable. However, they kind of remind me too much of Cameron and Mitchell from Modern Family. But then again, this shows seems a lot like Modern Family. Almost like an unintentional copy. But there a lot of things keeping me from liking this show. First of, I don't like any of the other characters. The surrogate is bland, the daughter is just there and really does nothing, the assistant doesn't really do much either, I'll get back to that in a moment. But the main character that annoyed me the most was Ellen Barkin's character. I know that she's suppose to be this really conservative women who just hates people who disagree with her. But she's too over the top. She either seems like she belongs in the sixties or on Fox News. Also, Nene Leakes's character has no point on this show other than for a racist joke or two. The only time I saw her in more than one scene in the episode was about the gay couple to prove to Ellen Barkin that they have a diverse group of friends. Seriously? But, there's this one thing that made me mad, even though it doesn't sound like I would be mad about it. There's this one scene in an episode where the gay couple and their surrogate are in a doctor's office, and they learn about possible diseases and disorders their baby could have. The last thing that he said was that their baby could have red hair, and one of the gay guys gasps. I got offended, not because I'm a redhead, which I'm not, but the fact that they're making fun of a group of people who get a lot of crap for how they look or how they act from people who want to be treated with respect, seems kind of hypocritical to me. Also, maybe they should of thought about having a baby with red hair when they realized that their surrogate's daughter has red hair. By the way, genetics are thrown out of the window as well, considering that the daughter has red hair, while her mother has blonde hair and her father has brown hair, unless the daughter dyed her hair, which I highly doubt. Also, it seems like every single joke in this show is geared to some group of people that are easily offended. Not to mention, that the show is rarely funny. I usually judge a sitcom by how much I laugh, I think I only laughed like three times in the first couple episodes, and they weren't even big laughs, more like little chuckles. Sorry to get a little political, but it feels like this show doesn't know who their demographic wants to be exactly. Obviously liberals would watch it, but their message is more geared towards conservatives who aren't going to watch it in the first place for two reasons. 1. It's about a gay couple wanting to start a family and 2. They will get offended by Ellen Barkin's character. So this show is kind of like preaching to the choir. But if you like this show, fine, watch it if you like it. I'm just saying why I don't like this show really.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
(2007)

Can someone tell me why people love Pirates 3, but hate Spider-Man 3? They're practically the same movie.
This may be a biased review, but I am not really a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. I mean the first one was pretty okay, it was fun and enjoyable. The second one was okay, but it kind of felt more like Jack Sparrow mania. The third one was just horrible. This movie felt like it was a half hour too long, and it felt like they could've cut a lot of it out. It felt like some of the scenes didn't make sense. Also, some of the scenes dragged on at some points. And the humor that is usually in the movies was just worn out, and just awkward, and by the end pathetic. And towards the end, they try to tie up random loose ends like Will and Elizabeth's relationship during the final battle. During that scene, I was like really. And the whole relationship between Davy Jones and Tia Dalma, just felt ridiculous, and just didn't make sense when Calypso was revealed. It felt more like the second movie, more like a Johnny Depp fest even though he didn't appear in the movie until about thirty minutes in. I really wanted to like this movie more than I thought I would. But I didn't. The worst part of the movie was I kept thinking why was everyone praising this movie as the best movie ever, and Spider-Man 3 the worst movie ever. For the record, neither Pirates 3 or Spider-Man 3 is either the best or worst movie ever. Here's why I brought up Spider-Man 3. Pirates 3 is on the same level as Spider-Man 3. Both featured too many extra characters, both felt too long, both dragged at times, and had numurous plot holes. The only difference is that I thought Spider-Man 3 did it better than Pirates 3. Why would people hate a movie for many reasons, but like a movie even though the same things are in the same movie that everyone hated? It just seemed hypocritical. Sure, the whole Spider-Man 3 comparison might of been irrelevant, but I just thought of it when I was forced to watch Pirates 3. It's the not the worst movie of all time, but it is one of my least favorites.

Work It
(2012)

Where to begin?
When I first heard about this show, I knew it was going to be garbage. When I saw an ad for the show, I was thinking wouldn't NBC do this, and not ABC? When I watched the pilot, it was nothing but men acting like early 19th century misogynistic men, and women acting like stereotypes that you would see in a male centric movie or TV show. Not to mention that it seems so close to home with all this news about the economy, and do anything to get a job, literally. It was unfunny,offensive, and most of all just plain stupid. The show, I believe is sexist, homophobic and somewhat racist at times. I did not laugh once during the pilot, and I hope you avoid this piece of crap at all costs,and I hope ABC cancels within the next few days. I wish I could give this a lower rating than 1. That's how bad it was.

2012
(2009)

2012
One of the worst movies I have ever seen. IT was just a terrible movie. It was inaccurate, overlong, lacks a good story, and pretty stupid. I never believed in this whole 2012 crap, but the trailer looked made it look good. But, if the trailer looks good, it's probably a terrible movie. 2012 pretty much proves this. It also has characters you don't really care about, if they die no one gives a crap. You don't even care about a dog in the movie. And who's idea was it to cast John Cusack? He was just terrible, everyone was just god awful in this movie. I had to watch in my Earth Science class last year over Armageddon. I would have rather watched Armageddon over this piece of crap. The only thing that is good about the movie is the special effects, but you only saw the good ones in the trailer. This is the third worst movie I have ever seen. Behind The Core and The Last Airbender, I'm letting you know I'm only giving one star, because I'm forced to give at least one star.

$#*! My Dad Says
(2010)

$#*! My Dad Says - Not a Sitcom, A $#*!Com
I've been watching the advertisements for about 4 months, and I decided to record the pilot episode. I watch a recording of The Big Bang Theory, followed by this, and I'm like, WOW! This is really terrible. It's about a 30-year-old man who moves in with his elderly father, who says a bunch of random $#*!, while the dad's other son and his wife stop by from time to time, and it seems like they serve no point to the show whatsoever. Everything about this show was bad, the acting, the writing, the gags, oh yeah, there are no gags. The plot is somewhat overused, and I hope this is the last sitcom based off a twitter account. The account is funny, the show is not. I couldn't even watch half of the pilot episode, I deleted it right away, and I pray that CBS will make the right decision, and cancel this $#*!ty show. If you're going to watch a funny comedy series on Thursday Night at 8:30, then watch 30 Rock. Quite possibly, the worst show of all time since Jersey Shore.

The Last Airbender
(2010)

The Last Airbender: Worst Movie of 2010, Worst Movie of All Time
I was a fan of the show Avatar: The Last Airbender. Noticed I said "Was". But M. Night Shymalamadingdong has done was comes naturally to him, and mess everything up in this horrible movie. There are so many things wrong with this movie, that I don't even know where to begin. First, the name pronunciation. Ong? Soka? Eroh? Ahvatar? Come On. It's Aang, Sokka, Iroh and Avatar. Second, no one in the show was white, they were all Asians, but they were played by no talent actors who probably lost a bet. And the Fire Nation was mainly portrayed by Indian actors. Is M. Night Shymalan trying to say that he is a member of the Fire nation? Another thing, the pacing. It's starts off with Katara and SOKKA finding AANG and Appa in the iceberg, and just one hour later they end up in the north pole. I mean it's suppose to take months to get there, and they had to make numerous stops. No Kyoshi Warriors, No King Bumi, No June the Bounty Hunter, No Avatar Roku even, Appa and Momo were never mentioned once, and no mention of Sozin's Comet whatsoever. It also felt like there were things in the movie, that were definitely not in the show at all. The dialog was so bad, it made the dialog in the Star Wars prequel seem Oscar-worthy. The acting was also really bad. The guys who played Aang and Sokka make Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson look like Marlon Brando and Tom Hanks. The girls who played Katara and Yue make Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus look like Kathrine Hepburn and Meryl Streep. The visuals were just bad. We've seen great visuals in movies like James Cameron's Avatar and Star Trek. You could so tell that there was a green screen used for this movie, I could clearly see an emergency exit sign in the movie. Also, at the end, there's a cliffhanger saying, wait there's going to be another one. It feels like its a parody of the series created by the guys who brought us Epic Movie and Disaster Movie, and it's actually freaking hilarious. Do Not see this movie, for the love of God do not see this movie, in theaters, in 3D, on DVD, don't even talk about it at all. I didn't see it in 3D, but I heard it was very bad. M. Night Shymalamadingdong should stop making movies. As it turns out, he was approached to direct the last Harry Potter movie, he probably would've called Ron, Roon. If you saw Transformers 2 last year and hated it, don't see this, because it is ten times worse than Transformers 2 ever was. If you think I'm being a little too harsh on this movie, I am not. I saw this with my sister when there was a brief family crisis going on, and this movie made me laughed so hard. Also, I'm only giving it 1 star because I'm forced to. It deserves a rating less than 1, it deserves a rating less than 0. In fact, whenever you're in a store that sells DVDs and Blu-Ray DVDs, and you see copies of this movie, buy them, and burn them so no one will ever see this piece of crap called a movie. So go watch all three seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender, burn the DVDs of the movie, and don't see the sequels if M. Night Shymalan is planning on continuing the franchise. And you know him, he will mess everything up. This movie is so bad it makes Twilight look like a best picture winner, now that's a real shame. If you liked this movie, then you haven't seen the series, or you're just plain stupid.

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