hyperform

John Carpenter has sort of lost his touch. Well, not sort of. This is a completely mindless action movie. In fact, it's almost like a porn movie in that there are scenes of vapid dialog and filler plot, and then scenes with really bad metal playing while everyone is shooting. Just replace sex with killing and it's a porn. Action porn. There's no tension, the characters are weak, and there isn't much of a story to speak of. The back of the box explains pretty much everything you learn from the movie, which isn't much. You could watch it on mute while doing something else and you'd get as much from the plot as if you watched it with sound. If there had been a lot less shooting and shouting and more background into the history and mystery of the events unfolding, it might have been a better movie. As it is, it's just boring. What happened to the John Carpenter of the Fog, They Live, the Thing, or Big Trouble in Little China? Even Escape from New York beats this movie. Even Escape from L.A. beats this movie! So many movies do action better.

This is one of my favorite movies EVER. It's one of the most ridiculous movies I think I've ever seen, and it is very, very low quality. But you're not supposed to expect a "good" movie out of this, seriously. If you're renting this, you should know already that it will be awful. But that's awful in a good way, of course. I seriously couldn't stop laughing throughout the entire movie, it's just so tongue-in-cheek and very obviously making fun of itself and having a great time while doing it. This is definately a movie to sit back and watch with a bunch of friends.

Yet another formulaic badly dubbed Richard Harrison ninja movie. Seriously, look this dude up. He's been in like 20 movies that start with "ninja." He always plays Ninja Master Gordon, he wears the same lame outfit that looks like he bought it at a costume store. The headband even says "NINJA" on it. This movie's only unique points are: Ninja Bicycle Chase, ridiculous idiots in bright purple ninja outfits, parallel almost disjoined plots, and lots of things with sticks. I bought this out of pure masochism for $3. I want to start a fan club for this dude. "Ninja Hunt" is way better.