Foxbarking

IMDb member since April 2003
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    IMDb Member
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Reviews

Silent Night, Deadly Night
(1984)

Perfect
This movie was the right movie at the right time. This movie is a slasher with a behavioral explanation.

So many people at the time hated this movie. They didn't give it the credit it deserves. It is a film that examines the psychological abuse that Billy experienced from Mother Superior and other things.

This movie is scary and true. A Christmas and horror classic.

Castle Rock: Clean
(2019)
Episode 10, Season 2

A Masterpiece
This is the episode I have been waiting for all season for. We finally get to see the development that leads Annie Wilkes into becoming the Dragon Lady. I enjoyed the first part, but the best was watching Annie and seeing what happens with her.

I am literally breathless. Lizzy Caplan better win and Emmy for this great episode.

Into the Dark: Pilgrim
(2019)
Episode 2, Season 2

Deeply Stupid
This may be the first of the Into the Dark movies that I cannot find a single good thing about it.

The positive reviews for this movie seem to give it a pass for not taking itself seriously. The sad thing is, this movie takes itself very seriously. It takes its nonsensical premise to the heights of stupidity but it absolutely takes itself seriously the whole way.

I enjoy cheesy B movies. But there has to be some entertainment value. This deeply stupid film had none.

Judge Judy: Children Fight Deceased Father's Soulmate!/Email Scam and Slander?
(2016)
Episode 169, Season 20

Worst Children On The Show
The plaintiffs on this show deserved to go up against Judge Judy. They were truly awful people who needed to be put in their place. Their complete disregard for their father's wishes simply because they want money is terrible. If you want to see two worthless and despicable people get owned by Judge Judy, watch this episode.

American Horror Story: Mr. Jingles
(2019)
Episode 2, Season 9

Freddy vs Jason
Okay, these first two episodes have been brilliant. I mean, they have captured 80s slashers perfectly. I am wondering if they are trying to move towards a Night Stalker vs Mr. Jingles confrontation?

I am not sure, but this has been excellent. These are the movies I grew up on and which gave me my love for horror. Perfection.

Honeymoon
(2014)

Good Until the End
I would have given this movie 8 if it had a better. honestly, I am sick and tired of horror films that build up a mystery, only to never solve the mystery. This was a promising movie. I was hooked into it. There was an intriguing mystery and clues were thrown all around.

And for what? An ending with almost NO explanation at all. This is so freaking cliche now. I am sick of horror movies doing this. We want to know why these things were going on. We do NOT want to always have to write the ending on our own. That is the screenwriter's job. But people nowadays make films without and ending that explains what was going on.

Ambiguous endings have their place, no doubt. But only when the clues that came before it are meaningful to the end. Here they are not. It was lazy and the ending invalidated the whole movie.

Black Mirror: White Bear
(2013)
Episode 2, Season 2

Fatally Flawed
Whoever wrote the script for this is an idiot. Okay, so the woman videoed her fiance killing a child. Yup, that is completely awful. However, when you wipe out someone's entire memory, you have changed the person. She no longer remembers the crime and is not any longer the person who did it.

This episode takes a completely new person and subjects them to torture over and over again. It's not punishment because she has no knowledge of her crime. When a person cannot understand why they are being punished, the punishment is pointless. And no, showing her the video at the end does not solve this problem. It makes it worse. Because regardless, it is a different person.

Beyond stupid and easily the worst Black Mirror.

Black Mirror: Smithereens
(2019)
Episode 2, Season 5

Both High Raters and Low Raters Don't Get It
This episode has NOTHING to do with being a PSA on texting and driving. It has NOTHING negative to tell us about social media addiction. I have read every review of this episode and no one has gotten it right.

Chris was not blaming Smithereen or Billy for what happened. Chris blamed himself. But no one else did. Everyone else blamed the other driver because he was drunk. Chris could have corrected them but he didn't.

This episode was a snapshot of our society. That is why it was set in the present. It was not criticizing our social media addiction, nor was it glorifying it. All it was doing was telling us: this is the way the world is right now. And then it asked the question about what comes next.

I really wished someone other than me saw this.

Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too
(2019)
Episode 3, Season 5

Definitive Black Mirror
Anyone who thinks this is not Black Mirror needs to pay more attention. The themes in this episode are disturbing as can be.

A girl's aunt; her family and legal guardian, has no problem murdering her niece and using technology to rape her mind all for money. Anyone who doesn't see the horror in this is blind.

Pet Sematary
(2019)

Utter Crao
In my entire life, I have never seen a TV show or a movie with John Lithgow in it and hated it as much as I hate this movie.

Growing up, I had never read a book like "Pet Sematary." It was the first novel, as a young man, that I read in one sitting. Every word of the book was captivating. Although Stephen King hated it, he published it from public demand. The book was a masterpiece.

The first movie was brilliant and maybe the best Stephen King adaptation other than "The Shining." But this movie was utter crap. It showed no respect for the source material. It hurried along the plot at the price of character development. It completely ignored the point of the movie. The writer and director did NOT know why "Pet Sematary" was scary because all they did was rush the story and change a few things.

It is an utter pile of crap.

Seinfeld: The Outing
(1993)
Episode 17, Season 4

Other Reviewers Missing the Point
Other reviewers here are completely missing the point of this episode. In the early 90's, nobody felt forced to accept gay people by society. To think that this episode was some sort of satire on liberalism is completely wrong.

I came out the closet a little bit of time before this. Nobody felt like they had to accept gay people and we were very discriminated against. This episode was monumental in taking positive steps forward in portraying gays on TV and in movies. The "not that there's anything wrong with that " is not a statement that the characters make because they feel they have to. They make it because they mean it.

Before this episode, no one made statements like that. Seinfeld am definitely David we're worried that an episode about two men upset that people think they were gay would offend the LGBT community. They wanted to make it clear that this was not their intent.

Bravo to this episode which helped make the world a better place.

For anyone who thinks I am "oblivious" to the point of the episode, everything I said came straight from Larry David's mouth. The line "not that there is anything wrong with that" is not satire on being forced to accept gay people. It was him telling gay people, "We have an episode where two straight men freak out when people think that they are gay, but we want you to know we are not making fun of you. We are making fun of the characters."

Game of Thrones: The Bells
(2019)
Episode 5, Season 8

Deserving Of its Bad Rating
There a lot of people reviewing this episode, giving it a high review and then mocking those who didn't like it.. telling them to "get over it" or questioning their dedication to the show.

In response, I want to say that the people who are rating this episode low prove beyond a doubt that they are true fans of the show. Anyone who is not a true fan could not this upset about it. They are upset because they love the show and not the way it has ended.

I have not seen one person complain about Dany going mad, just the bad pacing of the show. And it was paced poorly. If these people didn't love this show, they wouldn't get this upset.

I am not a big GOT fan. I binged it this year and decided to watch the final season with my family. Watching this episode, it was a technical masterpiece with great direction and effects. However, the character development was poor and the writing was lazy.

One thing I liked about this show is that it was very complex. It didn't take shortcuts. This season, all it has done is take short cuts. That is a shame.

He Never Died
(2015)

Henry Rollins Makes This a Masterpiece
"He Never Died," is a masterpiece of comedy horror. Every now and then, I take a chance on an obscure movie on Netflix and more often than not, I am disappointing. Every now and then, though, I find a diamond in the rough and this is one of them.

I remember Henry Rollins as a musician, of course, but mostly from his role in "Wrong Turn 2." It was a crappy movie, yeah, but he was great in it. He was a modern day John Rambo. However, he gives the performance of a lifetime in "He Never Died."

Jack, played by Rollins, is very monotone and very straight forward and actually pretty boring. He just wants to be by himself, play Bingo and lay down. He is blunt and completely honest.

When you find out why he is like this, it makes perfect sense though. You'll watch Jack meet his daughter for the first time and interact with a small gang of idiots who keep trying to kill him. And then when you find out who Jack is, and you will know, it's one of the best twists in movie history. And Rollins delivery makes it work.

If you enjoy comedy horror, watch this movie. It is amazing.

Into the Dark: Treehouse
(2019)
Episode 6, Season 1

Deeply Stupid
There are a couple other reviews of this episode that seem to think only conservative men who like Trump did not like this movie. I think that is a very unfair assumption to make. I am a deeply liberal. I voted for Hillary Clinton three times in my life: 2008 and 2016 primaries and 2016 general election. I am a male who is proud to call himself a feminist. And this movie was awful.

The main issue is the actions taken by the women don't make them any better than Peter was. I understand he is definitely not a good person, but neither are they. They kidnapped him, tortured him, drugged him and then lied about who they were.

I am sorry, that is not what feminism or the #MeToo movement are about. We are not about descending to a level and trying to scare people into being nice people. It is about standing up for the rights of women and protecting women who might need protection. It is about women being allowed to go to work and make the same money as a man makes and not be intimidated. It is not about empowering women by drugging, kidnapping, restraining, threatening and humiliating bad men.,

Peter was a despicable lowlife, but these women were too.

Anonymous
(2011)

Fictional Stupidity
When you have to have a movie change other historical facts when you're trying to prove something historical, you have already lost the argument.

This movie makes the claim, considered ludicrous by the majority of Shakespeare readers, that the Earl of Oxford wrote Shakespeare's plays. There is no evidence at all for this historically and Oxfordians have done a poor job at putting their argument out.

This movie, however, doesn't just stop at changing facts to support the Oxfordian theory. Christopher Marlowe shows up in 1698 when, in fact, he died in 1693. It claims that Shakespeare murdered Marlowe by slashing his throat, when Marlowe was killed with a stab above the left eye by Ingram Frizer. Marlowe then goes and mocks Thomas Dekker's "Shoemaker's Holiday," a play that hadn't even been written yet.Elizabeth the first's funeral was on land and the year she died, the Thames did not freeze over.

These are just some minor things but there is a whole lot of changes made to history by this film. If you are going to be this sloppy with facts, why would we ever believe your theory has any credibility?

A Quiet Place
(2018)

Absurd Premise That Can't Support Itself
How did this movie get reviewed so well? Honestly, not only was the premise of this movie absurd, but it couldn't even exist well within it's own universe.

First, we're to believe that creatures with no sight that can hear really well have come to kill everyone on Earth. Are they aliens? If so, how can we believe that aliens got here without seeming intelligence or sight? If they're not aliens, how did they exist on Earth up to this point without killing us in the past?

One of the main plot points has the pregnant wife stepping on a nail... a nail that makes no sense for being where it was. It was a nail sticking up through a step in a staircase. Keep in mind that they have painted footprints on the steps so they would know where to step... but they never noticed a nail sticking up? A nail which isn't there to connect two boards or anything, it's just a nail someone nonsensically hammered through the bottom of a step for no apparent rational reason. I mean, the nail itself was the stupidest thing and it really took any chance of suspending disbelief for this movie.

The characters act in inane ways for people who have been in this situation for as long as they have. Their actions do not inspire sympathy at all. And honestly, I couldn't care less what happened to them.

This was not a good movie.

The X Files: Familiar
(2018)
Episode 8, Season 11

Pure Stupidity
I can't even begin to tell how stupid this episode was. The idiotic portrayal of law enforcement was so more aggravated than the poor storyline... I just can't get over how bad this was.

So a police officer murders a man in cold blood, on his back and unable to defend himself in from of nearly 20 eye witnesses and gets $5000 bail. Then he goes straight home and takes his gun out of the closet? REALLY? Like they wouldn't have taken all his weapons?

The pure stupidity of how they treated the arrest of this officer overwhelmed the weak story line and just aggravating crap in this episode. This is an insult to the legacy of this show.

Rick and Morty: Morty's Mind Blowers
(2017)
Episode 8, Season 3

If David Lynch Was a Comedian
He might have written this episode.

This may have been the funniest episode of "Rick and Morty" ever. Rarely does a show make an episode that seems tailored to my sense of humor. I don't laugh a lot and it takes a really well made joke in order to get me to laugh. This episode did that.

A good joke knows how to present itself, but it's up to the audience to know how to receive that joke. Every joke in this episode is multilayered and thus needs to be set up rather than just presented. To do this, Rick drops us into the joke with no pretext. Then he presents the layers of the joke, the punchline, and immediately removes us from it. We get no idea how Rick and Morty got in their situation and even less idea what happens after they get out. In some of the scenarios, this can be important.

Furthermore, every part of the memory is part of the eventual punchline. For example, it's funny that the alien gets dragged down to Hell after he dies. But it's funnier because of everything that happens before. The ENTIRE alien culture believes that they have an orgasmic afterlife. They seek out great warriors to kill them. The alien confirms with Morty that they have no evidence of the afterlife, so the alien changes his mind. Rick still goes to kill the alien, but it is killed by a car. Suddenly, the alien is dragged to Hell by three ghosts. Morty realizes that there is plenty of evidence of the afterlife and it's that it is bad. So in the end, the alien has evidence of the afterlife that it is bad and his culture still believes it is good, he runs for his life rather than facing death easily like his people, he is killed by a car rather than a great warrior, and it dragged to Hell rather than to an orgasmic afterlife, and the Hell afterlife is obvious to anyone who has seen a member of his species die yet they still think the afterlife is orgasmic. There's also a reference to Sophie's Choice, which has about six points as to why the punchline ends up being hilarious.

The very fact that I am tired after writing that joke shows how multilayered and hilarious it is.

The episode also know how to put on a mainly comedic episode and to use that episode to put in an important . When Morty hears the squirrels talking, Rick makes a comment that they have to change realities and that they can only do it a few times. The clip then ends, leaving us to wonder "When did this happen?" and "Will this be important later?"

I honestly think this would have been the comedic episode David Lynch would have written. It leaves us with little information about what may or may not be important for the series as a whole. The part about changing realities may not have been important and one of the lesser jokes might have been. Regardless, everything in the episode seems directed at making us laugh, but also to think about why it made us laugh. Which made it brilliant.

Undoubtedly the best episode since "The Rickshank Redemption." This was well written and hilarious.

The Conjuring 2
(2016)

Ludicrous Nonsense
I should have known going into this that I would not be able to enjoy this movie. Although I like James Wan quite a bit, the subject matter of these movies is just not something I can get over. They would have a done a better job if they didn't pretend that this movie was really based on a true story.

The biggest problem with this movie is the depiction of Ed and Lorraine Warren as heroic figures. In reality, they are grimy charlatans who make up stories and exploit peoples' wanting to believe in the supernatural to make money. They have been exposed repeatedly as frauds. However, this movie tries to make them heroes. It's impossible for me to see them this way and this made any chance I could like this movie just go out the window.

Also, there are plenty of recent horror movies based off of supposed real stories. Most of them do a better job of at least not being so outlandish that no one with sense could possibly believe it.

So, let's pretend for an instant that this movie just was admittedly a fiction movie. Let's pretend for a moment that the heroes weren't a couple of slime bag con artists. Let's pretend they presented this film as it was. Would it have been enjoyable? Possibly. Will I ever know? Not really.

Even so, it would not have been scary. But the main point is that if I can not root for the hero, I can not like a movie. And the last think the Warrens are or ever have been are heroes. Avoid it.

The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy
(2000)

The Best Gay Movie Ever Made
I saw "The Broken Hearts Club" when I was 25 years old. I had been out of the closet for 9 years already and had seen about every gay movie ever made. The vast majority of them were painful coming out stories that I couldn't relate to as my coming out was a wonderful time for me. My friends and family loved and accepted me.

The reason this movie resonates with me is because it was the first gay movie I could relate to. So much was captured in the film that was a snapshot of my life. There was the way gay guys sit around all day talking about men. The petty jealousy of ex boyfriends who still want to sleep with each other.

The thing that struck the strongest chord with me, however, was the way Kevin, after being so apprehensive about being with gay people, became completely acclimated to the group. It was my life when I was 24 exactly. To this day I still watch this movie ad it tugs at my heartstrings because it is the most accurate portrayal of gay life as I have known it.

Before and after, no gay movie has been able to do what "The Broken Hearts Club" did so well. It portrayed the newness, the apprehension, the fear, the adventure, the heartache, the friendship and the survival that goes along with being gay. If you're gay, you should watch this movie to see that there are people who can relate to you. If you're not gay, watch it and understand what happens to many of us in our lives. You won't regret it.

Atari: Game Over
(2014)

Poor and Misleading Propaganda Piece
I really didn't know what to expect from this film. I had heard about the search for the Atari games buried in a landfill and never gave it much mind after that. Curious as to what happened, I decided to give this movie a look when it came on Netflix.

This documentary is the strangest piece of propaganda I have ever seen. It tries to salvage the reputation of ET The Extra Terrestrial, largely regarded as one of, if not the worst video game of all time. In doing so, it skews factual information and presents minority opinions in an attempt to give this a new reputation.

I grew up in the 1980's and I was very excited when I got ET for my Atari 2600. Being 8 years old, I had seen the movie and loved it and I was so into video games that it seemed like an unbeatable idea. However, after several hours of pain and agony, I gave up on ET. I would come back to it several times later in life, never with any improvement.

This movie skews information to exonerate ET from its role in Atari's "death." When the games are found in the landfill, the narrator remarks that only 10 percent of the games were ET. He then lists other popular games that were found, such as Defender and Centipede. Conveniently, however, the percentages found for any of the other games are not mentioned. They then present this as proof that ET didn't kill Atari. You then get about three people talking about how great the game is, including one guy who you don't know and never will remarking how he'd rather play ET than Call of Duty. Well, so would I and I don't like either game.

The narrator never makes the obvious point that the reason there were more games than ET in the landfill is because the landfill was filled around the end of Atari, Inc's existence. Atari got rid of a lot of unsold games and ET represented a larger portion than any other game.

So, if you want to get an actual unbiased account about this, this movie will not provide that. It's clear purpose is to try to make this horrid video game look good.

Come Back to Me
(2014)

Excellent Surprise
Every now and then I'll just flip through the horror section on Netflix and just take my chances with what comes up. More often than not, whatever I come across is just average. Other than that, you have the occasional stinker and the occasional enjoyable movie. "Come Back to Me" was the latter.

Before I discuss why I liked this movie, I want to point out that although I am giving it a perfect rating, it was not a perfect film. The effects were not phenomenal, but they were effective. Nobody is going to win any awards for this movie, acting or directing included. And no one should be having nightmares over seeing this, nor even looking under the bed before going to sleep. It's not scary.

However, this movie works very well. I'll try to explain without giving anything away.

The movie begins with a scene 12 years ago of an extremely bloody (mostly off screen) dispute between a husband and wife. The wife's son, Dale, who seems like a cross between Donnie Darko and Rain Man, seems somewhat interested in the dispute but it's hard to tell exactly why. When the police arrive, the viewer is given the impression that the mother died during the dispute, but Dale doesn't seem to think so.

Fast forward to the present day and we meet Josh and Sarah, a married couple who is having problems conceiving. Shortly after meeting their strange next door neighbor, a grown up Dale, Sarah begins having night terrors. After some extremely odd experiences, some involving Dale, Sarah finally decides to record what is going on while she sleeps. The result is something she never could have considered.

It's no surprise to the viewer that Dale is involved in what is going on. In fact, from the moment you see him, you know that he's not quite normal. But his exact involvement and what is actually going on might be a bit harder to predict.

One of the best parts of this movie is the performance by Nathan Keyes as Dale. Every time Dale was on screen, I felt somewhat uncomfortable. I was not in anyway intimidated by him, but his presence was like the old woman who stops to talk to you and not matter how hard you try, you can't force her to let you go. He's seems completely nice, and in a way he is, so it's hard for anyone to really disengage.

What Dale is really up to is not something that I would tell anyone, as I didn't see it coming at all. But his plans are not the culmination of this movie. It's just a fork in the road that eventually leads to a destination that I thought I saw coming, but it swerved somewhere I hadn't considered.

If you like watching something that is a bit different than normal Hollywood or normal horror fare, watch this movie. Don't raise your hopes, don't lower your hopes. Just watch it with a soupçon of curiosity and hopefully you will enjoy it like I did.

Full House
(1987)

I Hate When People Say A Movie or Show is the Worst Ever but...
I have never in my life watched a show that reached the pinnacles of stupidity than the travesty that was "Full House." This is said by taking all of the other wretched shows I have seen in my life into account. There are so many painful programs on the television, such as "The Brady Bunch," "Unhappily Ever After," and even shoddy reality shows like "Joe Millionaire" or "Phenomenon." In spite of the poor horrid productions mentioned, "Full House" manages to remain the worst television show I have ever seen.

Why is "Full House" so bad? Well, other than the bad acting, the writing was atrocious. Every episode ended with someone always being sorry for something while the exact same "awww" sad music playing in the background. Viewers could always tell what was going to happen. Worst of all, no one ever learned a lesson because they would engage in the same behavior in another episode.

Interestingly enough, I actually never had a problem with the Olsens as actors. The true annoyance in the show was delivered by Dave Coulier and John Stamos. Coulier is one of the worst comedians in the history of comedy and his idiotic impressions are more annoying than a legion of Steve Urkels. Each episode also had the inevitable worship of Jesse upon Elvis Presley which bordered on insanity. It's fine to talk about one's idols, but this was the only thing he ever talks about.

In spite of all of this, I have always been able to credit the producers of "Full House" for a wonderful birthday present they gave me. I was forced to see the show as a teenager since my family watched it. The last show aired on my 20th birthday and I have never had to see an episode since then.

Gomennasai
(2011)

Outstanding Film
So often nowadays, watching a movie at home competes with other activities. My sister usually will be on the internet and listens to a movie. I will sometimes read in or out or play video games while watching. With "Gomennasai," I was totally glued to the screen. Although the first assumption may be that I have to watch the screen because then I can read the subtitles, I actually speak Japanese so I didn't have to do that.

This movie presents a plot that revolves around the power of words to kill. Recently, I had the pleasure of watching the movie "Pontypool," which showed the power that words had to change people into zombie like creatures. In "Gomennasai," no such thing happens. But the words of a certain school girl have the power to curse and to kill.

Kurohane is a very unpopular girl, likely due to her dark and somewhat morbid appearance. Completely rejected by her family, she is also hated by her schoolmates. In a way to antagonize her, the girls in the school decide to torment her by having her write a script for a school production. Kurohane is actually very open to do this because it allows her to experiment with the power of words to kill people.

"Gomennasai" is definitely a movie that has to be right for you in order to enjoy it. The budget was obviously very small and it is a very short movie. However, it thrives on the strength of the screenplay and the actors in the movie. I had no idea where this movie was taking me as I watched it, but it turned out to be a place I was happy to go. Very seldomly does a movie exhibit any originality in today's age. But this film does. It has an ending that ties things together in a way you likely will not see coming. An excellent film that should be enjoyed.

The Twilight Zone: The Jungle
(1961)
Episode 12, Season 3

Most Disappointing Episode
I have to agree with one of the previous reviewers, planktonrules, that this is just a terrible episode. "The Twilight Zone" is supposed to be the realm of imagination and somehow this tale of a business man cursed by African witch doctors had none.

The plot of this episode is basically that a business man and his wife have returned from Africa after developing land there. The husband finds that his wife has been keeping charms to protect the two of them from curses placed on them by witch doctors for the land development. The husband throws them away, and immediately sees a dead goat appear outside his door.

The remainder of the episode, it seems that he has renewed belief in the curses. He points out the superstitions of others. By the end of the night, he is too scared to walk home because he is hearing "jungle" noises. He gets home and his wife has been killed by a lion and he is next. That's it.

I know some people will tell me that I have do not have patience or an imagination. They are wrong. I love shows and movies that leave a lot up to my mind to figure out on its own. I enjoy ambiguous endings and I enjoy slow building suspense. This episode had none of that. It was dull and there was nothing creepy, suspenseful or even interesting about it. Apart from that, and I know it was over 50 years old, but the African stereotypes were rather offensive as well. By far the worst episode of the series.

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