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The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Spongebob has betrayed me
When I went to see this movie with my younger brother I thought we were going to see something that was going to be funny. It wasn't. I thought I was going to watch something at least as good as the first movie. I was wrong. I thought I was going to have a good time and not feel like I just wasted twenty dollars and a few hours. Wrong. This movie hurt me deeply, I have been a fan of Spongebob since I was 5 or so years old. I have bought every single season in HD DVD and watched all of them fifteen times over. I can actually understand what that pirate says in the theme song without looking up the lyrics because he sounds like he has a mouth full of marbles. I have legally changed my name to Jimbob Squarepants as a salute to this great yellow sponge. However,as the summary says, Spongebob has betrayed me. But this isn't just about me. Spongebob betrayed all of us. He took our trust and handed it over to Squidward in the form of a, "I love you," card. He has destroyed all my faith in him, and I'm going to tell you why.

You want funny? Trying eating a spoonful of cinnamon, that's funnier than this movie. The jokes are lazy pure and simple. Every joke is tossed at you with the subtlety of a tornado ripping out your catheter. Not only have you heard or seen all the jokes before, you would have seen or heard the jokes done better in the regular show. This is just being sloppy, I don't need new jokes but when Patrick almost literally says, "I'm dumb." it's not funny. We know. But Patrick doesn't and Spongebob doesn't and that's why it's funny. I had more fun cutting my knuckles with a piece of paper.

You want a good story? Then move along. You'll find a better or more original story from Nickelback songs. The story is inconsistent with the personalities of the characters. It also has no real climax and is more or less tossed all over the place. Did they have 100 people type up one page of the script each without any direction and then staple all the pages together and called it a movie? Because that is what it feels like.

This movie is a travesty, please save yourself and do not watch this. To watch this movie is obscene. The movie makers took my friend and perverted him. This movie is a crime. Spongebob, hold on. Someday someone will save you. If not, I hope your death is quick and painless.

Martin Mystery

One of the better cartoon shows out there
I used to watch this show on the T.V. before I got rid of it. It's a good show, considering that each episode is only like 23 minutes which is a rather tight time frame. There are a few weird things about the show I noticed, like sometimes the animators reuse the same clip, or sometimes they use the clip and run it in reverse. There's also the thing where in the original Martin Mystery comics, Diana is actually Martin's lover, and they are not related. I am unsure as to why they made the two step-siblings in this series, although it was probably to stamp out any temptation to show any chemistry between the two.

However this show is definitely for kids, not that you cannot enjoy it as an adult. The entire show is generally light hearted and not serious, and the show lacks anything that I can really relate to, with a few exceptions like the disappointed father, although as the series goes on if you watch enough episodes, you do become a bit attached to the characters. There is nothing serious relationship wise as I mentioned already, since the show is aimed at children they probably just took that aspect out which makes sense. But with this said, the show is aimed at being a fun mystery/horror type show and it delivers just that. The suspense is well paced and the violence is minimal. Most of the time it's the leading up to whatever monster is causing the trouble that is more interesting than Martin and his team actually confronting the problem.

However being the kind of person I am, I look a bit too hard into the show. I'm not sure if this is intended but I can't help but feel kind of bad for Martin and Diana, especially Martin. Here is a teenager who goes to school and works a job. He saves lives and yet he's a total reject, as in all the girl's thinks he's some type of creep. And whenever he saves the girls that he likes, they just get memory wiped and they hate him again. And somehow, Martin keeps up a chipper attitude, seldom ever showing any signs of being sad. He does have friends, but they seem extremely minimal, and although Diana and Martin do care for each other as siblings, I find it hard to believe that they would ever offer each other any emotional support. The writers might not have been aiming for this, I'm not sure, but although the characters have kind of shallow personalities, if you look past the surface they seem quite a bit more deep and complex. But it is just a show, and I'm very sure I'm looking way too hard.

Bottom line is this is a show you would watch for entertainment purposes only, but you may be presently surprised by it, like I was, and if you can make the show deeper then it might actually be, like I did, it really rounds out nicely and you will be a bit sad the series are no longer airing.

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