mirco-wilhelm

Right in the first 15 minutes they explain that this is just an attempt by Warner Brothers to make more money of the franchise. Quite literally in a dedicated scene. Hollywood honesty at its best.

The rest of the movie feels like a mocumentary on the story of the first Matrix. Wicht makes it the only movie known to me to have an After-Credit scene with a plot better than the entire movie.

So, if you endured to the end credits, stay for the scene at the end. It will explain a lot about the plot.

Watching this show is exhausting. It is genuinely boring. The Screenplay, the actors, the dialogues, the camera work, the lighting... nothing creates the slightest amount of tension that would compel you to watch this for more than one episode.

Most of the time the actors simply stand around static and run through their text like reading it from a card board on the other side of the camera.

Lighting is so flat, you could compare it to a theater play.

Soundtrack is pretty much non existent for most of the time it's just silence and dialogue, well ... as much as there is.

I don't know, what all these people ranting got all worked up about. After that massive insult that was Picard, I didn't expect much, but an attempt for a cartoon comedy take in Star Trek. And that it delivered.

Is it the greatest SciFi cartoon comedy of our time? No, that crown absolutely goes to Final Space. But it is also not the total dumpster fire we become used to with new Star Trek formats.

Also the level of "woke" that's constantly mentioned in the rants is dialed way down. Every character has their moment to shine and their flaws (and they're pretty big flaws if you ask me).

But it's a comedy, even if not all the jokes hit. At least they tried something different and it's not that bad compared to the last 10 years of Star Trek.

One way to look at Star Trek Picard would be to geek out on all the lore and new events that are revealed. The other way would be to simply look at the show itself.

Since I never was a lore guy, I'll focus on the latter.

After the first three episode, I can't hide the fact, that the story is a dragged out pain to watch. The obvious plot devices and characters we have come to know from being repeated in Star Trek over and over and over again to death, like the dead horse the franchise has become over the last years.

This feels like the first TNG season, just without any useful subtext, positive outline or vision.

You can geek out bout Patrick Stewards performance or all the nostalgia sprinkled in every other frame, but that doesn't make this a good show to watch.

After being introduced to the plot devices and the antagonist in the first two episodes we need a crew to do the thing and go places. And that's what we spend the whole of this episode on.

Well at least for the first few crew members. But we have lots of episodes left to gather more people before we head off to do the thing and go places to save the girl who doesn't know she is special just yet.

All in all this show is developing into a 10 hour long single episode TNG story. instead of being a two part episode of TNG.

Oh, and how convenient to accept the doctor from episode one as a crew member that conveniently shoots a bad guy to save Picard while obviously having no combat training at all, just after she had a visit from the main antagonist.

Seriously?

So we start off with Star Trek CSI by "analysing" the crime scene from episode one. Lots of nonsensical screens and jibberish intersected with a briefing at Picard HQ. .. just like any other CSI show.

After we've identified you culprid we head of to Star Fleet HQ to get our investigation sanctioned by the captain... erm ... Admiral, like any good cop show would to. And, surprise! The Captain ... erm ... Admiral doesn't like Picard like in any mediocre detective story and says no. Obviously Picard doesn't take no as an answer and want's to investigate himself.

oh ... and we also learn that the looming evil within Star Fleet is a Romulan operative posing as a Vulcan to infiltrate Star Fleet ... god, where have we seen that before ... and how often?

Ok, then. Time to spend the next 5 episodes gathering the crew and go on a heist to save the other girl that doesn't know she is no ordinary girl.

Naturally we are greeted by an old Picard in an odd setting to foreshadow coming events by introducing us to a new turning point event in the past. We run through some new characters of the show and start off the main plot of this series. A girl discovering that she is not a normal girl and she needs to find Picard (for some reason).

And so she does and then runs away again and comes back and gets killed. Series over, right? But as Yoda famously said "No, there is another". Confused? Yes? You don't watch a lot of movies or TV shows then.

Watching the episode, I couldn't decide whether to be bored to death by the obvious plot or feel overwhelmed by the changing pace of story telling from slow to far to fast. At this point I don't mind the endless exposition being thrown right in your face, since the show want's to bring you up to speed with the events between the previous shows and movies and their now.

I do mind the tone repeats that looming evil within Star Fleet trope, we have been served too many times by now.

Let's see, what else they've come up with.

Yeah, it's a puppet movie. Actually the puppets are the best thing about this movie. Adding these human actors (ALL OF THEM) to the show only ensured this will end up being one the worst movies in the season.

Puppet movie about a series of murders and a puppet teaming up with a human to solve the crime. Ok, It does sound a lot like Roger Rabbit. But most people already forgot about that one. Upping up the story with some raunchy sex and humor. You know, just like Sausage Party. That will do the trick!

Honestly up until now this could have been a good movie. If only it wasn't for the bad script and the really bad acting of pretty much every human in the set.

Let's Go!

Let's make a Batman anime movie! Let's make it about time travel! Let's set it in ancient Japan! Let's turn all the super villains into sort-of Samurai! Let's bring in to some transforming robots! Let's use some morphing monkeys! ... erm wait... what??

No, seriously. That's actually all going to happen. Don't ask. I didn't get that either.

From a stroytelling perspective, nothing in the movie makes any sense whatsoever. And I don't mean in a superhero over the top action kind of way.

Remember back, when everyone and their mother was complaining about The Killing Joke having to little of a story to fill a 80 minute movie and they had to add a badly written 40 minute intro? This one crammes all tropes asociated to "Anime" into a single 85 minute "Batman" movie. strip everyone of their superhero/villain costumes and you'll end up with a pretty generic samurai movie that still has too many tropes and too little of a plot.

The art is nice and worked well in the trailer. But the animation really doesn't flow as well in its movie cut version. Most of the time it reminded me more of old video game cut scenes than a current movie.

Half way through the movie I was struggling with the remote. I just wanted it to end or at least make some sense. At least a little bit. Then the climax came. And it was horrible... and not in a good way.

... half way through the episode I just couldn't bare any more of the half assed and badly delivered "jokes". I guessed I missed the mediocre sci-fi part in the second half.

Characters and the story up to the half-time mark just had a feeling of very, very bad 80s and 90s sitcoms. All that was missing was a laugh track to tell us, what was supposed to be funny.

Just making up a story line by telling one dick joke after another just doesn't work.

Sick of stupid "10 things to do" listicles? Want to hit thos special unicorn millenials with their stupid selfiesticks every time you see them? Have you actually been out of your house recently?

Then this might be just the sitcom, you have been waiting for!

The great Indoors is an entertaining clash of the generations sitcom, dragging out every cliché there is about young and old people and lets them struggle through everyday life working at an outdoor magazine... indoors.

If you're easily upset, like most of the current generation is, this might not be the one for you. But grab you participation award at the door anyways.

Let's face it. The original was a cheesy 80s TV show. It wasn't really that good, but it had an interesting angle about how it works. More or less a one man A-Team without the guns, but with the construction scenes.

This series starts of with a whole team supporting this one-man show. Enter: Bond, James Bond in a beautiful Mercedes Gullwing.. oh wait, that's just a kid with his dad's car. This is your MacGyver? Seriously?

About 10 or something minutes, our "hero" get's tricked to hand over some glowy virus thingy (why do they always glow?). He and the girl get shot, he survives, the girl goes missing.

At this point my Cluedo skills start kicking in. Theory: Girl hired bad guys, staged death to sell off the item.

Now our hero is in remorse mode. The comic relief fast talking black best friend, who doesn't know about his real job, tries to cheer him up while he and his team chose a replacement for the lost girl.

At this point the series mashed plot point from so many bad recent TV shows together, I can't stand to watch any more having to test my theory... skipping 20 minutes, ... yeah, I was right.

• Predictable as hell - Boring beyond belief - Uninspired like another Mission Impossible movie - Written by a preschooler

-> unwatchable