Digitise

Well. It seems as though the past few reviews have been rating Son of the Mask somewhat 'highly'. I have to disagree unfortunately, as the experience of watching such a travesty was akin to impaling myself repeatedly against a merciless horde of living jagged rocks. These rocks, while temperamental and somewhat uncompromising, would still give more enjoyment and laughter value than the abomination that i have witnessed. While the film DOES have its redeeming features (i.e. the end credits) the majority of it can be easily mistaken for a small pie, cold and withering in the winter air, bereft and forgotten by its owners, and sent into exile by its Baker. Even the murderous rampages of Batman are more entertaining, watching as he glides into the children's' birthday party, cutting down all who stand in his way. What's that Batman? You don't like me? Well fine.

After a late night TV viewing, i was sold. This film has everything - the cheesy goodness required of such films, characters with names like 'Prospero' and 'Jack Deth' (often referred to as Jack Sh*t), and brilliant visual effects (ie: crap). Seriously though, with a name like Prosperu, how can such a film go wrong? Regardless of any narrative shortcomings, pitiful set design, and completely irrational plot development, who comes to save the day? That's right. Prospero. Just one look at his face makes you happy to be alive.

Don't get me wrong now. Trancers 4 IS a very bad film. I can't possibly recommend it to any human. However. It is the Citizen Kane of our time, if only for one man. A great man. A man whose face shall forever be etched into the minds of all mankind. He is power. He is lord. He is ... PROSPERO.

Forbidden City Cop was a movie that suprised the hell out of me. When i first saw a copy of the thing, i twisted my face up in confusion, not knowing what the hell i was in for. Lucky, i picked up a copy and about an hour and a half after chucking it into my vcr, i was still laughing my ass off.

This film is the perfect mix of comedy, corruption, and sheer lunacy. The fight scene with the magnets had me in tears, and the amount of golden one-liners in the film was hilarious.

In the immoral words of the Faceless Ninja: "BLAND AND FACELESS, MY SKILLS ARE UNFATHOMABLE!"