Trashbag

IMDb member since June 2003
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Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
(2008)

Not a masterpiece, but still satisfying
The cast does a remarkable job overall. Harrison Ford still has the physical strength to pull this role off and he does so very gracefully. Shia LaBeouf is Shia LaBeouf; he acts out his role the same as all of his other roles. That's not really a bad thing, but he needs to expand his acting range a bit. Cate Blanchett did alright; this wasn't one of her best roles, but she does a convincing villain. It's also nice to see Karen Allen back as Marion, although her character doesn't really serve much purpose to the entire plot in general.

Speaking of the plot, I don't even know what to say. The whole thing just seems so over-the-top and ridiculous. There were many, many moments that had me wondering what the filmmakers were thinking. It was as if they tried to cram in as much as they could and it left me with a feeling of "What the hell did I just watch?" The script itself is a little on the cheesy side; at times , it was effective, but other times, it was trying too hard. I can definitely say, however, that it kept me interested throughout. Mostly because I was trying to figure out just what was going on, but still.

Technically, this movie was put together well. Although there was a bit too much CGI for my taste, the special effects work. John William's score is great as always, even though almost all of it was a rehash of the previous movies.

There was really no way this movie could've lived up to our expectations, but how could it? It's purpose was to deliver another thrilling adventure, and it did. It wasn't trying to better Raiders or anything, since that's basically impossible. Overall, it's not as good as Raiders or Last Crusade, but I think it was slightly better than Temple of Doom. It's a fun movie and it ends the series with a bang (if this is indeed the last one).

TMNT
(2007)

Definitely eye popping....
You've probably been hearing comments of how stunning the animation was. And every last one of those comments are right. It is obvious how much care and attention was put into the look of this film. Everything from the New York City environment to the Turtles themselves looked absolutely fantastic.

The story was sort of a mixed bag. I liked the struggle between the Turtles and how Leonardo is trying his hardest to get the team back together with Raphael trying to pull away. Everything else, however, could've been a little better. There doesn't really seem to be any level of suspense here, save for a fight between two main characters (which looks phenomenal, I might add). I also would've liked to have seen a bit more screen time for Donatello, who always seems to be pushed to the side. And there were some jokes here and there that might make you cringe, most of them involving Michelangelo. But this is still an enjoyable flick for everyone to watch, even if you're not a Turtle fan. It's worth seeing for the animation alone.

Superman Returns
(2006)

Spectacle for the eyes (IMAX 3-D Version)
Everything a Superman fan (the movies or the comics) could want is here: The classic theme by John Williams, spectacular visual effects, repeatedly showing off Superman's powers, and Kevin Spacey. His Lex Luthor is much more evil and sinister, while still retaining the humor of Gene Hackman's original. The Man of Steel himself also did an incredible job. He resembles Christopher Reeve in so many ways, I almost forgot it was a different actor. Kate Bosworth was fantastic as well.

I saw the IMAX 3-D version, and I gotta say it was somewhat disappointing. Don't get me wrong, it was great seeing the whole thing on that gigantic screen. You almost feel like you're flying alongside Superman. But the 3-D here feels like a wasted opportunity sometimes. Sure, twenty minutes is better than nothing, but there were other scenes that would've looked great in 3-D as well (Opening Credits for example). Still, it was a very cool experience, and I think I still would've enjoyed it in a regular theater.

9 out of 10. Not as good as the first movie but better than the other sequels put together.

King Kong
(2005)

I don't care if this movie's going to flop - I love it!
Now here's a rarity: A remake that's actually good! We haven't had one of those since "Ben Hur." And that was almost FIFTY years ago! Why does Jackson's remake succeeds? It's because he manages to remain faithful to the original, while improving on it. For example, there is actual character development, something the original didn't have. Also, there are a bunch of homages and references to the 1933 AND the 1976 version. Example: There is one moment where the original Kong theme is heard.

Also, the special effects are some of the best I've ever seen! This is going to be the new Star Wars, raising the bar for other movies to come. Never has Kong been so lifelike. You can see what he's feeling, even though he doesn't talk. And it's sure a lot better than that guy in the ape suit.

All in all, they've put $207 million to good use. Forget the length. I love this movie. You will love this movie. 10/10.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
(2005)

Great for fans of the series
I'm not exactly a "fan" of Narnia, but I read the book this movie was based on. And I gotta say, this movie is very faithful. I don't think there was anything missing from the book, and it changes some things to keep us interested.

The actors gave some solid performances throughout, and hearing Liam Neeson as Aslan was very entertaining. The visual effects weren't perfect, but they satisfy. And this movie doesn't fail to keep you interested for the whole time. You'll be on the edge of your seat for a majority of the time, particularly during the final battle. It was "Lord of the Rings" toned down, basically.

And the audience agreed with me. They cheered when it was necessary and when it wasn't necessary. They also booed whenever the White Witch came on screen. It was really fun in there.

Not that this movie has some faults. The beginning felt a bit unnecessary and out of place. But it is still recommended. 8/10.

Enter the Matrix
(2003)

Hey, this game isn't done!
When "Enter the Matrix" came out, everyone was buying it, because everyone wanted to do everything they saw in the movie. For me, I got disappointed, because my copy was one of many copies that were bugged. The game seems to lock up after extended play, or if there is more than four baddies on-screen. And if you don't have an up to date PC, stay clear of this one. One of my friends started this up on an old emachines computer, and the results were more like a slideshow than a video game. The boring gameplay doesn't help either. Sure, the game lets you do bullet time, but even that gets boring after a while. What you pretty much do is this:

1. Disarm the opponents weapon

2. Beat the living daylights out of him or

3. Shoot him

4. Rinse and repeat

There are some driving levels, but the controls feel too sensitive so it's hard to stay on track. Then theres the graphics. Not only is the animation jerky, but the level design on most of the levels is just greusome, especially on the last level. I almost went blind! But there are some things that are good. The sound and the Hacking mini game, where you can cheat and do some other things real hackers do. But still, when the best part about a video game is the cheating menu, that game has problems.

A 2 out of 5

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
(2004)

Alot better
If you are thinking this is going to be the same as the original, you're wrong. Sure, you're still Sam Fisher, an expert spy who can infiltrate a factory without anyone know he's there. But there is one really big change. You're outdoors. Yep, you heard me. And boy do they make it look good. The environments are lush and beautiful. The bushes sway in the wind as you move past them. You still have to deal with industrial settings though. But even they can't match the beauty of the outdoors. Okay, enough of that. Lets go to gameplay. The AI is 100x approved over the original. Now enemies can grab a civilian and hold them hostage. Also, if they detect you, they don't have to run over to the alarm. Just one push of a button on their uniform, and that little baby will start sounding. And if you sound one alarm, every enemy will have a bullet proof vest on. Two alarms a helmet. Three alarms, I don't know, but it's not good. Which leads me to another thing. The game is hard. Really hard. It's impossible to beat a level on the first try. Even experts of the original will have a hard time getting through this. But even though it's hard, it's really short. There's only eight levels(the original had ten). But one thing will get you busy after you're done... The multiplayer. Here's how it is. A team of mercenaries try to get the spy. That's it. But it's fun trying to hunt down an almost invisible person. And it's fun killing unsuspecting mercenaries while you're almost invisible. So let me sum it up. The graphics are incredible, the AI is seamless, and the multiplayer is fun. Pandora Tomorrow gets a 5 out of 5.

Gigli
(2003)

OHHH, THE PAIN!!!!!
This is by far the worst movie EVER!! Critics call it "Imagine a movie made out of deleted scenes!"

Thats the only one I know. The story? Well who cares?! The movie is so bad, you'll hardly notice it. The dialogue is atrocoius, and the actors acting is terrible.

It even won 9 razzies! JLo's performance proves that singers shouldn't act. Just look at Britney Spears in Crossroads, and Beyonce Knowes in Austin Powers 3. Ben Affleck is an okay actor, but this is not forgivable.

Not even Al Paccino or Christopher Walken can save this movie from going down the drain!

Gigli gets a very generous 1 out of 5.

Halo: Combat Evolved
(2001)

Great game!
I'll be commenting on both the PC and the Xbox.

Xbox: As you maybe have heard, Halo is definitly the best thing that happened to the Xbox. The single player is worth every penny, and the multiplayer is good too. The best part is the cooperative mode, where you and a friend can battle out the aliens together. The only real flaw is driving the warthog. It just doesn't feel natural. Despite that, all you FPS fans will definitly want to pick this up. A perfect ***** outta *****.

PC: If you don't own an Xbox, and you want to own Halo, you're in luck. 'Cause it's on the PC too! The game looks almost the same on the PC. And the multiplayer is online this time. Only one problem. No cooperative mode! That was my favorite feature on the Xbox version, and it's gone on the PC! Oh well. All the other good things are on the PC. So I give the PC version an almost as good **** outta *****

Medal of Honor: Rising Sun
(2003)

Rising Yawn
First thing you see in Rising Sun is a really nice logo. Then a cutscene. Then...wait, I'm playing already?! Where's the menu?! That's right. No menu, no fiddling with the controls. You just start playing. The first mission is really good, where you have to fight off oncoming planes, which is good enough for replay value. Unfortunety, none of the other missions aren't as good as the beginning. Actually, most of them are a real drag. There's probably only one good moment, and that's when you're riding on an elephant with a machine gun turret, which is fun. Silly, but fun. And the music is good. MOH games have great music, and this one is no different. If only the gameplay was as good. Rising Sun isn't a total disaster. It's kind of average, partly because most of the things here have been done before. Also the graphics are starting to get old. But mostly, it's because of the enemy AI. They're just plain stupid. There was one moment where an enemy was laying face down on the floor, but was still walking. It was like he just spotted an enemy in the floor below him, and was trying to walk through the floor to get him. So this just another average first-person-shooter. This gets a ***out of*****

Dino Crisis 3
(2003)

The only game sequel I played that was worse than the original
Dino Crisis 3 is about a team called S.O.A.R who is trying to find a ship that's been lost for 300 years. They see it on Jupitar, and they go down to investigate. What does this have to do with dinosaurs, you ask? Well, when they get down there, the place is swarming with those lizards! That's about it. Now the graphics here are shiny. REALLY shiny. The cinematics are way over done and don't make sense. The gameplay could have been good. If it weren't for that idiotic camera! That camera makes me so mad! It keeps shifting all over the place, especially when you're fighting the boss! Tell me, Capcom...WHAT KIND OF BOSS FIGHT IS IT WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE THE BOSS?!!? AND WHY DOES THE CAMERA SEEM TO LIKE LOOKING AT THE DINOSAUR'S ASS????!!! Take my advice. Don't waste your $50.00. I give this a ** out of *****

King Kong Lives
(1986)

Only Dino DeLaurentis would make the same colossil mistake twice
(Warning:Spoilers galore)

When we last saw Kong, he dived from the World Trade Center. Well, he didn't die. He just sank into a 10 year long coma. So some scientists decide to give Kong a heart transplant. But before they could do that, Kong needs a desperate blood transfer. Luckly, there's a female ape that's Kong's size wandering in the forest, so they ship her to the operation and does all that stuff I told you they had to do. And Kong's heart works. The bad news is, it works TOO well. Kong sences a female ape next door, breaks loose, and it's love at first sight. Then they head to the mountains and have a baby. This is a joke, right? Nope, it's all true. John Gullermin comes back to direct this after the other remake disaster. I'll give it 2 stars out of 5, 'cause its so damn funny.

King Kong vs. Godzilla
(1963)

What a ham!
This is the stupidest movie I have ever seen! The acting is bad, and the monsters look bad! Even the King Kong remake is better than this! What a disappointment! Skip this one! It deserves to be flushed down the toilet!

King Kong
(1976)

proves you shouldn't monkey around with classics
*(half)outta *****

Dino DeLaurentis' remake proves that you shouldn't monkey around with classics, especialy the 1933 King Kong.

Warning: Spoilers

The movie maker, Carl Denham in the original has been replaced by Fred

Wilson, a greedy oil explorer. Jack Driscol replaced by Jack Prescott, and Ann Darrow replaced by Dwan. Wilson and his crew try to find oil on a remote island, with stow-away Jack Prescott. They find Dwan floating on a lifeboat and take her on the boat. Soon, they get to the island, and find that the island is the home of some natives. When they are back on the boat, the natives kidnap Dwan and introduce her to none other than King Kong. He takes her away and falls in love with her. The crew rescues Dwan, and captures Kong as a display. Of course Kong escapes and causes a rampage through New York. He kidnaps Dwan, climbs the World Trade Center,, and falls to his death.

Dino DeLaurentis lied to us about that robot Kong they were building. All we get is an ape suit(a very good ape suit, though). Not very faithful to the original either. Dwan actually is trying to protect Kong, and weeps his death. And "Beauty killed the Beast" wasn't mentioned. This time, it was the airplanes that killed Kong.

Splinter Cell
(2002)

Love It!
(Some Spoilers):You play as Sam Fisher, a tough spy. You go through training, then you sneak around acomplish goals. Then it's war, where you can kill anyone (civilians and dogs)! Sad thing is, it only lasts 10 levels on GameCube(including training):(. But on the Xbox and PS2, it last 11 levels! Oh well.



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Dora the Explorer
(2000)

This show is.....
CRAP!!!!!!!(spoilers,but you probably won't care)They overreact in this show! And they go through tiring obstacles just to pick blueberrys? And what kid knows how to drive?!!? Dora's only, like 4 and she drive a fire truck. Heck, why doesn't Dora get her Mercades and drive to a blueberry patch with her stupid monkey?

Beauty and the Beast
(1962)

Horrible
Talyor the Beauty and Damon the Beast in this terrible ripoff. It would be better off if this film was not filmed at all, or if it was flushed down the can. Mark Damon's acting was horrible, and the soundtrack sounded like a chainsaw. But I'll give it 1(half)out of 10, because I feel sorry for it.

The Mighty Kong
(1998)

Good movie
Warning: A few minor spoilers

This is a great movie. It follows the original better than the '76 remake. But Kong is standing up on his hind legs like the remake. And Ann still weeps his death like in the remake. And they included the scene in the remake where Kong bathes Ann. But all the characters return from the original. No Dwan, Jack Prescott, or Smith anywhere. All dinos return. The famous line returned too.



"It was Beauty that killed the beast"

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