IMDb member since April 2011
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3 A.M.

1 out 10 Seems Generous
20 minutes into this and I was already thinking it's the worse film I've ever seen and nothing else could possibly be worse, ever. It looks like it's filmed in a potato and the sound recorded on a carrot. The direction and writing is completely incoherent. The acting is laughable. There's really nothing more to say about the film. I can see why the director and writer never went on to do anything else.


Enjoyable Reboot.
Keeping this short and sweet. Negative points, the story telling was messy at times and a little all over the place, although the mythology that was added was cool. The whole opening scene could've been cut and it wouldn't have made a difference. It had a couple small parts of dodgy CGI.

Overall though it was entertaining and fun. It had solid acting. To separate itself from the original 2 films as it needed to, it ramped up the violence and gore and had plenty of swearing in it, hence the 15 certificate. Would I go see and even welcome a sequel? If it keeps the same darker adult tone, yes.

Now, compared to Del Toro's 2 films, the only real comparison is that David Harbour played the character of Hellboy pretty much the same as Ron Perlman did, as the character should be played. Everything else was different, because let's face it, Del Toro's visual style is stunning. The production, set, and costume design is his trademark. Overall, they are both better films than this reboot.


Cheap Tittillation
The movie was interesting for the most part, as it could've gone down a really dark path, but in the end it does nothing but glorify the fact you don't need talent to gain fame and fortune, which is so typical in this internet age.

Cam girl Lola is trying to break into the top 50 girls on the site she broadcasts through by showing her tits and faking her own death. Adorning fans, or rather pathetic men, shower her in money for this. Till eventually her account is copied/hacked. The rest of the film is Lola, or Alice as that's her real name, trying to find out what the hell is going on. That particular part of the film makes absolutely no sense.

Some on here, other reviewers, have suggested that these cam sites do this all the time to exploit more money by copying accounts and have them become virtual accounts. But how is this possible? The fake account is able to talk live and take requests. Also appears with a dead girl in a live show. No explanation needed, as their is no logic to it and the writers completely ignor this.

As I said at the beginning, this could've gone down a darker route with her possibly having a mental breakdown and developing a split personality or something along those lines.

But no. There's no moral to this seedy little film as once she gains access to her original account she carries on as if nothing happened.

Instead of covering the dangers of the internet, the addiction it can lead to and basically leading two different lives, it only celebrates how important it is to be popular.

As regards the 15 certificate, with the subject matter of the film alone, it should've been an 18. It's filled with nudity, sex toys being waved around and the lead actress riding a mechanical vibrater machine at one point. 15 year old boys will probably spank off to this film and 15 year old girls will want to become cam girls. When the age of consent is 16 in the UK, how can a film like this be aimed at younger teenagers as it quite clearly is. There is no moral to this film other than that. Hence, the film has no other purpose other than cheap titillation.

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

No Holds Barred Good Old Fashioned Horror Film Making
I went into this having not watched any Puppet Master film for at least 5 years and having only seen a handful of the other movies in the massive franchise. I've been thinking about this film for a few days now and I've decided it has heavy influence from the 80s horror era. It's not an 80s throwback or even an homage. It's 80s in the sense that it's writer and directors didn't give a damn about what people were going to think of the film and did it the way they wanted, with it's no nonsense don't give a damn attitude about people being offended, sick hilarity, gore and silliness.

It's a film about Evil Nazi puppets, what were these other reviewers on here expecting? It doesn't take itself seriously at all, but rather pokes fun at itself in a satirical fashion. It's ridiculously funny, even though a lot of people are going to find this movie offensive, you know the type, right?

It's bad taste jokes and gore should leave the seasoned horror fan satisfied. You know the type, those of us that grew up during the 80s that don't get offended by anything and everything. Millennials will probably hate this film.

It's not a thinking man's film, it was never going to be. It doesn't need substance, it doesn't need style, because it's simply good old fashioned fun and gore that will keep you entertained throughout and make you forget about all the crap that goes on in the real world for a couple of hours.

The Meg

The film shark fans have been waiting for since the announcement of its adaption 10 years will be bitterly disappointed.

Big budget and a 12A / PG13 rating ruined any chance this film might have had to be, at the very least, memorable. Too serious, not enough cheese. For something like this to work and be enjoyable and entertaining, it's got to be one or the other and / or be gory as hell. It's non of these. It completely misses the mark.

Even Jason Statham felt used after making this film. Don't waste money on a cinema ticket, not even 3D can save it.

The Love Witch

Looks good, but plays out poorly,
About 10 minutes into the film I paused it and read a couple of articles on the Internet and read up on the director and her, lets call it "agenda" regarding the film. I carried on watching. Carried on watching for the whole 2 hours. Even though I had enough at about an hour in.

OK, let's talk good points. The film was absolutely stunning to look at, with beautifully rich, vibrant colours and a good looking cast. Yes, it certainly had that homage feel to it. A little bit of 60s, but mainly 70s. It looked and felt like it could've been a lost Hammer film, recently restored to its full glory. Really nice set pieces and costumes. Even a touch of a eurotashy type score. Even the acting, as its meant to be, nice and cheesy. They had that spot on, if indeed it was meant to be a homage or actually set in the 70s (I'll come back to that later).

That's really all the positives I took away from it. You could say it's style over substance. Anna Biller certainly tried to add something of substance in there which just ended up being one long joke. A very long, 2 hour joke.

First of all, let's touch on the 70s vibe, remembering that I've only seen the one trailer (I don't watch many trailers or clips for the same film due to the amount of disappointed when watching the film) and read no other reviews, till that 10 minute mark anyway. My first gripe and probably the major one, with the way the movie looked and felt, if you're going to make a film so overpowered with a 60s/70s feel then set it in the 60s/70s. Seeing a very small amount of modern cars mixed in with all the old (the opening scene - the police car. Shortly after - the BMW pulling up outside the house) "classic" cars really throws off that feeling.

The other and only issue, a big one as a whole. The whole film was one big kick in the balls to men by a female director that's clearly one of these modern third-wave pseudo feminists (that's had a few bad experiences, but don't worry, her and her 10 cats will live happily ever after together)! Quite frankly it ruined the film turning it into, one big joke. It ended up being a 2 hour long feminist propaganda film. It ended up being a mess, not deciding what it wanted to be. A Pagan Witch film? A Hammer film? A homage film? Set in present day film? A sexist film? A feminist's wet dream? It's ended up being nothing more than a spoof.

You can read my full review on Maven's Movie Vault of Horror.

See No Evil 2

The Twisted Twins Deliver Again
See No Evil 2 follows directly on from the first film, which, by WWE Studios standards was an average film. The story sees the seemingly dead Jocab Goodnight and his victims being taken to the morgue where the birthday girl Amy is about to finish work and spend her birthday with friends, but she decides to stay and help out with the amount of bodies about to arrive. Instead, her friends bring the party to Amy and her co-workers.

Long story short, alcohol is consumed, sex is had and Goodnight returns from the dead to wreak havoc on the hapless morgue workers and the party people.

The real strong point is the direction by Jen and Sylvia Soska. If you're familiar with their work and a genre buff then you know what they are capable of. Their first film, Dead Hooker in a Trunk, had flashes of genius and the body horror film American Mary was one of the most original and important movies to hit the horror genre for a good 10 years.

Although the script was written by Nathan Brookes and Bobby Lee Darby and the only real weak point, it was the Soska's vision that brought to life the entire film. Danielle Harris, who has had a very up and down career performance wise, produced her best acting to date under the twins' guidance. As modern day scream queens, casting both Danielle Harris and Katharine Isabelle in the same film was a stroke of genius. Isabelle very nearly steals the whole show. Even Glenn Jacobs as the killing machine upped his game and gave a better performance.

WWE Studios made the best possible move in hiring Jen and Sylvia to direct. The film provides a lot of fun, some cool kill scenes and solid SFX with only a touch of CGI which makes this a great addition to the slasher sub-genre and a sequel that outweighs it's predecessor in every way.

To read my full review, head over to my blog - Maven's Movie Vault of Horror.

The Machine

The Machine is up there with the likes of Blade Runner!
This British film is written and directed by Caradog W. James, who's previous work includes a handful of short films and the comedy feature Little White Lies. I was lucky enough to shake his hand and congratulate him on his film shortly after the screening.

The movie follows a scientist called Vincent (Toby Stephens). He works for the Ministry of Defence at a time where they are on the brink of a cold war weapons race with China. His job is to develop an advanced weapon using artificial intelligence. He's developed a brain chip that can be implanted into the brain of injured soldiers, but when a glitch manifests itself with deadly consequences Vincent enlists the help of A.I. expert Ava (Caity Lotz).

Under the watchful eyes of their boss Thomson (Denis Lawson) and his assistant Suri (Pooneh Hajimohammadi), Vincent and Ava set about creating the perfect android. During the process, the co-wokers become close and Vincent reveals that he's also using the MOD's funding to research ways to help cure his daughter's illness.

The end product is "The Machine" with full free thinking and learning capabilities. But it's not long before Thomson steps in and makes some controversial decisions that leads to everything Vincent has worked hard for to crumble around him.

The film is very atmospheric from start to finish. The cold blue lighting and soft focus lense work helps create a very solemn mood that all the best Sci-Fi flicks have and the cinematography is absolutely spectacular. My eyes were constantly glued to the screen!

It wasn't just the visuals that were great, the script was too. It was of the highest standard and didn't just fill our heads with technical jargon and unbelievable plot lines. The threat of an arms race, nations rising to power through technological advances is a very real thing in the world we live in today. The characters are so well written, that each of them can be related to. It also gives you a very real feeling that this isn't actually that far into the future. The firearms used are on par with today's advanced guns, the lead actors drive newer cars that we see on the roads today and a lot of the gadgets used could be the next generation tablet/iPad type technology.

The cast was a varied collective, but performed brilliantly together. Lawson played the main antagonist, displaying a mild but menacing demeanor. Stephens in the main role gave a great deal of depth to his performance. He was the angry scientist, the doting father and the warm caring friend. Hajimohammadi's role is worth a mention too, although not a great deal of screen time compared to the rest of the cast, she's delivers a creepy and an important performance. But it was Caity Lotz that stole the show! She's not just the sassy A.I. expert we see at the start of the film. She also plays the role of "The Machine" for reasons I won't give spoiler too. She's elegant, child like, formidable and deadly in the role and performed all her own stunts!

The direction was simply fantastic, for all of the above reason too. And even though the movie was made for under £1million the SFX/CGI is second to none. I honestly could not fault this film!



My review of Playback....
This movie dives right in at the deep with the character Harlan Diehl, covered in blood and dirt, moving through a house with a video camera. While cutting between the normal lens of the filming camera and the hand held device, you hear screams of anguish in the background. It was a very promising and brutal start.

It shortly drifts into mediocrity, except for the role of Quinn, who soon becomes effected by the video footage he watches while doing some research for Julian. In mean time, Julian and Riley run around, like teenagers do, trying to find more information on the killer Harlan Diehl, much to the disapproval of Julian's mother.

Enter officer Frank Lyons, an average cop with some questionable extra curricular activities. Christian Slater actually plays a very small role in the movie. There's an old saying - "there are no small parts only small actors." Unfortunately, the later applies to Slater's part in the whole proceedings, which is a real shame as Slater has been great in certain roles over the years.

On the plus side, the movie has some decent eerie moments and actually made me jump at one point. The visual effects are good and there's a bit of blood along the way too. The bad points, although they don't spoil the movie, the acting isn't great, but the story keeps you interested, and it does get a little predictable towards the end.

With a storyline based on the notion of the ability of photography to capture souls, it goes one step further with the use of video and as it turned out, this movie was better than average.

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