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The Haunting of Hill House

Too long, too repetative
The special effects are the only decent thing in this utterly boring, repetative, jerky, overlong waste of film. The jumping backwards and forwards in time leaves the viewer confused, unless you are giving the film 110% of your attention. This is somewhat impossible to do as you cannot engage or empathise with any of the characters and you are just wishing the end would come. This could have been done in half the amount of episodes and it might have been better for it.

The Crown

Great start but now wandering off
The first and second series of The Crown is an absolute triumph in its casting and story telling of historical events that were to shape the monarchy as we know it today. Claire Foy is second to none as the young Elizabeth and the depiction of those years of the second world war, her marriage and the Churchill years. As we reach the third series Olivia Coleman has now taken the reins and, sadly, although she is a great actress her portrayal of the Queen does not sit well. Helena Bonham Carter is perfect as Princess Margaret. As we have now reached series 4 and the Charles/Diana marriage, and the Margaret Thatcher, years and Gillian Anderson is uncanny in the role but the hair and make up department have given her a hairstyle so wide you could land a jumbo jet on it, Sadly some things have been skipped over and unbelievably, the intruder in the queens bedroom is given one complete episode. The depiction of the relatives who have been hidden away in an institution is again taking up a whole episode and this is proving that series 4 has lost its way from the previous 3. The next series will see a change of cast with Imelda Staunton becoming the queen, and I doubt she like Olivia Coleman will make the role as believable as Claire Foy as the young princess thrust into a role for which was never born for.

Murder on the Orient Express

Oh, what a shambles!
I don't know now who Kenneth Branagh thinks he is but I'll tell you this, he certainly isn't Hercule Poirot! I have long been a fan of Agatha Christie and attempted to read all her books in a twelve month period. Unfortunately I only managed 56, but I digress. This film was quite simply a Branagh ego trip. His depiction of Poirot must have had Agatha turning in her grave. The intense blue eyes, his head of hair and the ludicrous moustache were most certainly not as Agatha had described or intended. I cannot comprehend how such a blockbuster cast of some truly great actors could have been persuaded to be involved in this drivel, they must have had a very large tax bill to pay for them to be in this waste of everyone's time. This is a remake that should have been left unmade, I thought the Albert Finney portrayal was bad but at least the cast in that version was first class, but Branagh has taken it to a new depth. His ego is getting in the way of entertainment, he only appears to be entertaining himself.

12 Years a Slave

Not a great film at all!
It took me 7 years before I actually watched 12 Years a Slave and I now realise that I should have left it longer, preferably until the twelfth of never. How Solomon had acquired such wealth as he appeared to have I do not know. He was nothing more that a fiddle player, certainly not a concert violinist and yet he is dressed in fine clothes as are his wife and children. On visiting the local store his wife buys an item without any thought, interest or askance of the cost. When we see him having dinner with Brown and Hamilton, the food and wine is freely flowing, so I would ask, did they pay his fare and the bill for the evening and if so just how much did this cost in relation to what they got for selling him into slavery? It must have been considerable for their outlay. The rest of the film is too long, and the nudity is simply gratuitous. Solomon's hair remains exactly the same for the entire film and the only concession to his age is slightly shown at the end of the film when his hair looks like some flour has been blown into it in attempt to show grey! As his wife did not appear to work I would like to know what she had done for the previous 12 years as she still lived in the same house and still dressed up to the nines! As for Solomon's life after he went home, why did he attempt to take to court those that had wronged him, knowing full well that a black person could not(under the law at that time) prosecute a white man? Also as such a high profile individual, how is it that his demise could not be ascertained as to when, how and where? The only thing I learned from this film was the terrible treatment that befell slaves at the hands of their "owners" but sadly nothing else.

The Fall

Too long and drawn out
Not sure about the English accent from Gillian Anderson, nor for that matter the character. It sets a scene and it draws you in but then it gets dark and in some scenes, quite uncomfortable to watch. The whole scenario then has many sub plots and these, mixed with the main story are long drawn out boring interludes. Slo-mo scenes of Gibson taking her regular swim are totally irrelevant and add nothing to the action. How Jamie Dornan's character, Spector, manages to break into the victims homes to recce the joint before commiting the crime the next day, without neighours noticing and not even causing any damage is a bit far fetched. How he washed and dried the bedding in a night is pretty good going too. The violence is brutal and graphic also, and not from Spector but from the other storylines too. The hotel room where he unscrews the socket to hide the memory card had a lot of wire to play with, unrealistic in real life in my experience. The scenes where Gibson is having or has had sex give nothing to the story and merely waste time. Three series and six episodes in each is too many, this could have been done in half or one series.

Somewhere Between

Acting dreadful
Have to agree with other reviews. The lead female acting is awful, the kid is do annoying you want her to die. Shame because it's a decent series.


Go and watch paint dry!
As soon as you read the synopsis, you immediately think of all disaster movies that have gone before. Titanic, Poseidon, even the Day after tomorrow. A ship capsizes yet all the lights stay on, everyone still manages to walk upright and you will hear the worst English accent ever! I also cannot believe that in all this mayhem a couple of passing sharks manage to actually get into the upturned vessel as well and then get a tasty meal from some bad guy possibly the best actors in the whole film. Don't waste your electricity and go and clean out your vacuum cleaner instead, much more entertaining.

Jurassic World

Too long to wait for any action
Having seen all the hype about this film was really looking forward to sitting down on a miserable day. At almost 2 hours it was way too long especially as it took an hour for even a modicum of action. The cast were too many ex TV series rejects and in all honesty some of the graphics seemed to have gone back in time at least a couple of decades. The storyline basically followed the same formula as previous Jurassic films, well it would really, but overall it was a big yawn. At times I was quite lost with some of the dialogue and was totally lost when the younger kid waffled on about 'more teeth' and then another dinosaur gets let out, I know I did not got to sleep but I missed something somewhere. To enjoy this film you really have to be a Jurassic film nerd. Don't waste your time watching this.

Open Water

I'm Bored!
Having sat through the first hour of this utterly boring, mind numbing heap of trash, I am struggling to watch the rest and see if it improves. The dialogue is far from riveting, the actors are still wet behind the ears with seriously unconvincing acting abilities and even the scenery is dull. The way the action is shown also makes you feel seasick will all the bobbing about. Unfortunately, continuity is constantly lost with the sun and the clouds either being bright and shiny or dull and overcast, but then the weather can't be controlled. I shall waste my electricity just to see how it ends but I really don't envisage things improving.

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