one4now4

This is the mindblowing story of a couple and all their friends/coworkers on a business trip of sorts to a foreign country. They are there to study the place actually. Well, they go into a bad area at the wrong time and look too deeply, resulting in the death of one guy and the emotional scarring of another. Badly affected with post-traumatic stress disorder, his friends first become worried about him (leading them to investigate further into what really went on that terrible night), but then find themselves under attack from him when he finally goes postal. To make matters worse, the female of the couple I mentioned at the start of this review is raped and impregnated by a local scumbag who seems to have a lot to do with the mystery behind their friend's rampage (along with some crystal meth being manufactured in the area). The scarred rape victim goes over the edge even worse than the previous psycho, who himself has to be taken out by one of his own friends. The now even crazier soon-to-be mother has a such a total and psychotic breakdown that it's her who begins to kill her own friends, believing that the only way for her to give her children nourishment is to feast on the flesh of all who surround her. It's eventually up to her boyfriend to take her down, but his plans are violently disrupted when she has two twin kids. Apparently, the story jumps ahead a bit at this point, and the guy takes the kids away from Mommy (for obvious reasons). Of course, there's nothing else better to make her resume her killing spree once again, and so the poor, tortured guy must finally do what he originally set out to do: kill this poor, deranged woman. Unfortunately for him and his only surviving friend (as well as some cops who get involved way too late in the whole mess, toward the end), the kids show that their mother left a very peculiar mark on them as evidenced by their own culinary choice... Make no mistake about it, this movie is a lot of things, but rarely do you see a rape-revenge movie where the rape victim goes around killing everyone who DIDN'T rape her, rather than the other way around! The rapist himself disappears from the story, hitting us hard with the fact that not everybody's going to pay for what they've done (while others pay for it, despite innocence). A nihilistic view, maybe, but an effective one all the same. Judy Geeson puts in one of the most extremely well-wrought portrayals of madness ever committed to film. While the gore and the rape scene may upset or offend some (as well as distract them from the deeper issues at hand), these people could be watching a movie that simply glosses over or avoids such extremes, like "Lilo And Stitch". The score is great and the direction is flawless. Very much one of the greatest films ever made, but I can only hope to see the uncut version soon.

It would be a crime against my conscience not to. It is one of the funniest, goriest, and most unique vampire movies I've seen, and I would gladly place it right next to "Near Dark" as an essential indie horror flick about vampires. Of course, it is a long movie and I admit it does seem to go on forever, but this is actually one of those movies where I was thinking, "It seems to take forever, but if it did go on forever, I could still sit and watch and watch and watch." It really is a movie where you just have to let it run its course as it introduces such a wide range of emotions, characters, and ideas and winds them into a clever and cohesive whole. As much as I loved it, I don't mind how it took it's time doing that; you have to just lose yourself into its weird, little world. All of the characters had a place in this, and most of the actors were just as good as any you're likely to see at a multiplex. Why is it a small handful of less than stellar (yet still cheezily engaging) actors are blamed for a bad movie just because it's shot on video? I would dare to call this a GREAT movie, and for every less-than-convincing actor there are literally several who truly friggin' deliver here! Don't even let the Tarantino comparisons color your idea of what the movie comes off as. I, for one, more than half-expected this to suck, since the only other movie I've yet seen from Brain Damage films that I liked was the admittedly schlocky "Terror Toons", and many others caused me pain to watch them. Just throw out your preconceptions and SEE THIS MOVIE! It is one of the best horror flicks of 2003, hands down!

Here we have a fun, no-budget action movie that cannot be taken seriously. In it, real life kickboxing champ Curtis Bush seems to have a great life going for him (complete with a very beautiful, yet ATROCIOUSLY acted, lady and a class where he teaches kids his art of kicking ass). Suddenly, his wife is gangbanged and killed, his dad's head gets blown apart, and he is beaten and left for dead after being forced to watch the whole ordeal. Well, I'm sure you know what that means! With the help of a crippled elderly guy who himself was victimized by the same gangsters who were responsible and clearly has some sort of gray paint in his hair that's smudged on the side of his face, our seething hero is nursed back to health and begins to learn some much-needed street smarts to go along with his deadly martial arts skills. Next, people die horribly, splattered every which way by the masked nutball who quickly becomes known as the Dark Angel (or the Psycho Kickboxer, if you prefer)! Blood and gore galore! A D-grade action tour-de-force and a must-see for fans of any of the good ole trashy, ultraviolent, no-budget cinema!

This is the ultimate levelling of psychiatry through cinema as far as I have yet seen. Mild-mannered Mr. Gaxton arrives at a mental hospital for a quick mental health checkup as a requirement for getting a corporate job. A lobotomized nurse and the insane mad scientist of a psychiatrist (played with a nonchalant and natural knack by the friggin' hilarious Stephen Colbert) quickly decide that he is "reluctant and angry", and soon he must undergo torturous, potentially deadly "treatment" in the hospital from hell. Don't get me wrong now; this is a comedy, albeit a very dark one that is armed with one hell of a social suckerpunch. Still, the filmmakers themselves supposedly being ex-mental patients makes a lot of sense, because I've been there and can see that this is a pretty astute diagnosis of the crazies practicing psychiatry from first-hand experience, even if power drills went out of style some time ago. Like a few other shorts I've reviewed, this is (or was) available on a compilation called "Smash Cuts: Totally Twisted Shorts Fest" that was being rented exclusively through Hollywood Video. To tell you the truth, you should probably just look for that, even though its version of "Shock Asylum" does seem to be condensed (unfortunately).

Without a doubt, this is an exceptional live video. It's fun to try and spot how many various weirdo crazies of the music world weave in and out of this visually drug-splattered slew of some of Ministry's greatest work (especially since a lot of these guys were known to look drastically different from one photo you'd see to the next). Chris Connelly, Killing Joke's Martin Atkins, Jello Biafra, and Nivek Ogre of Skinny Puppy are only a handful of the colorful cast that helps fill this video right back to the darkest corners of the dry ice haze. Together, they careen through one classic track after another, kicking off the starting point ("Breathe") with a duel between drummers Atkins and Bill Rieflin, crumbling into a wall of gratuitous noise and ad-libbed misanthropic "f**k you" screaming, and then marching forward from the debris to mock the far right with the pseudo-fascist theatrical presentation of "The Land Of Rape And Honey". Peppered with "Faces Of Death" clips and some of the druggiest subliminal imagery possible, if you truly dig Ministry, this is a video for you.

What can one say to defend a movie like "A Certain Sacrifice"? Even I, as much as I LOVED (yes, LOVED) this movie, must ask myself. As you may know from other reviews and such, Madonna has a very early role as a deathrocker who gets together with a very angry "philosopher" who left the suburbs for New York's underbelly. (I related to this on a lot of levels, so I know it's possible to say that there are some fascinating characters, events, and ideas in this ugly, little film!) Then, there's that "Raymond Hall" guy, who is quite the successful attempt at the creation of a character who is so repulsive, you just wanna get sick every time he's on screen (until he's about to be killed, then it's funny)! Anyway, Raymond is a horny, dirty IL' dude, who ends up raping Madonna in the bathroom, while loving boyfriend Dashiel (the philosopher... heh heh) waits for her to fix her make-up. The gory revenge that ensues (with the help of Madonna's Gothic sex cult, or her "family of lovers") gets cheezier and cheezier, but, thankfully, the filmmakers are well aware (they just don't give a f*ck). So... is the sound bad? YES! Is the dialogue sometimes hurtfully cheezy? YES! Is the acting terrible? Not nearly all of it. In fact, most of it was pretty damn good, even though Madonna's better acting moments were when she started to come off as a Goth castaway from a John Waters movie toward the end. (And, yes, I know John Waters doesn't have a lot of Goths in his movies, but it's the best comparison I can think of!) Anyway, is the gore very minimal and fake-looking? YES, but still it's a lovely touch! Is Madonna shown fully nude? NO, but she's shown topless several times, once even covered in the blood of her slaughtered rapist. Also: This movie MUST be seen when you're VERY intoxicated. Then it can sink right in. I've done it three times, I think I turned out alright, but my wife's head needs to stop calling me from the 'fridge. Time to listen to some more Pattnosh.... mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! FIVE STARS (and I HATE to rate things with stars!)

I think this was inspired by when GWAR were made the subject of a Sally Jesse Raphael episode. I was unlucky enough to miss that (heard it was great!), but I did see this, and it may not have been nearly as good as their award-winning classick "Phallus in Wonderland", but, where there's GWAR, you know you've got to see it. Here, we are treated to an "episode" (heh-heh) of "The Sleazy P. Martini Show". Today's subject? "GWAR Ruined My Life!" Yes, complete with scuzzy commercials (some hilarious, but others a bit too strained), this is not their best, but still damn worth it. See Marilyn Manson (not played by himself, of course) get his skin ripped off when he tells GWAR to go back to art school! See an intergalactic doofball with a scrotum on his chin! See Crackula search the carpet for a crack rock while Crankenstein paces angrily, grumbling "Where's that f*ckin' package?" I won't even go into the commercial that reveals a very twisted alternative to tampons! While this is all in good fun, as I already said, some parts try a bit too hard to be funny, though, and GWAR definitely are not at their musical peak (though they would reach one again with the "War Party" album). Regardless, it's fascinating stuff for the sick humor crowd, and I would recommend this anyway.

First off, let me say that "Saw" is a flawed film. Secondly, let me also state that I am well aware of the fact that all films are flawed. And, third, I WON'T say HOW "Saw" is flawed, because it's still such a great film that not only would that mean spoilers, but also this movie's flaws are very easy to overlook if one enjoys it enough, as I did. "Saw" is a cerebral, edgy, disturbing ride, and that's no joke. What it's about? Well, as you probably know, it's about two guys locked in a room under very grim and confusing circumstances, with a corpse laying between them in a bloody mess. From the get-go, all that they really know is that it has been orchestrated by a very sick person who has found ways to get his victims to kill themselves in some VERY creative and yucky ways. "Saw" works as a murder mystery, a horror/splatter movie, and a downbeat thriller. Naturally, some people wanted to see "Seven" and were disappointed; too bad for them. Good mileage is got out of the cast; even the newcomers and various unknowns turn in wonderful performances. Also, if you can figure out who the killer is before it's revealed, you have got to be one intelligent viewer! I myself was kept guessing and guessing. All I can say further is that "Saw" bears my highest recommendation, and, again, if you want either "Seven" or just another slasher flick, this great movie can't be blamed for such disappointments. See it!

Sometimes, I have to admit that I've fallen in love with a piece of crap. Fred Olen Ray's "Scalps" is a damn fine example. But, listen and listen well: "Feeders" really is every bit as bad as people say. What does one need to know? Aliens invade to eat people, and the budget is so low that they couldn't even afford to do fake-ass gore right. I hoped there would be some humor, at least. People making movies featuring obvious stuffed toys as threatening forces out to devour the Earth... these people should know that with a comical twist, it could have had a chance at being at least a grade-Z classick. But what is there to "Feeders"? There's no entertaining elements OTHER THAN those damn alien dolls with big plastic eyes. Even the gore is at such a bare minimum (as well as an ultimate pinnacle of ineptitude), that it loses all its effect and just becomes another boring, crappy part of this boring, crappy movie, with one of the worst scores EVER in a film. I know porn scores that would've worked better. In fact, I know of porn MOVIES that worked better, and, no, there is no nudity or sex, either. There is ABSOLUTELY no reason to see this, unless you just have to, like I did. Just make sure you rent it at a VERY reasonable price, because you will live to regret doing anything other than making yourself sit through it once for your cash. A real turd!

IT SUCKS! I don't mean that it's so bad it's good, I mean it IS the ultimate low. This is as bad as "Ax 'Em"! My friend unwittingly bought this piece of garbage (not a compliment this time) and we stumbled into watching one of the most excruciating wastes of celluloid EVER! When hearing that Dave "Dead Hate the Living!" Parker was to write this, I figured he would provide the fulfillment to go with the ever-so-slight promise I believed I saw in him earlier on. Maybe it was or wasn't his screw-up, but this is just unbelievable. How horrid can a movie get? A dumbass with a video camera (sign of the artist!) makes self-referential quips about Romero films to let you know it's supposed to be a real, bona fide throwback. When various characters die, it's made to look as if they've lost a video game. See actual video game footage spliced into action scenes that make Ed Wood, Jr. look superior! And, no, it's not funny because IT IS THAT DAMN BAD. Everything about it, everything! What a shambles! And don't make the mistake of thinking getting high will help you enjoy it... we WASTED our high on this piece of slimy maggot excrement! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER ICON YOU PUT IN FRONT OF YOU OR THE LACK THEREOF, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE! It WILL be a waste of your time and money. That is, unless you're even more into stubbing out hot ashes on your soul than I am! PLEASE! NO! BEWARE! AVOID AT ALL COSTS! IT'S JUST THAT BAD! IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME AND MY FRIEND, BUT NOT FOR YOU! NOOOOOOO......

Man, this is one dumb, idiotic movie with excessive sex and violence and no redeeming values whatsoever... Great! This blast is a treasure for schlock-lovers, as a mad priest who worships the evil entity of Quetzacoatl (which I have INDEFINITELY misspelled and can't pronounce for the life of me... then again, did they pronounce it right in this movie?). He gets down on the town, looking for prostitutes with reputations for being... "evil". (Ha ha, couldn't resist.) As the crappy spaced-out disco music soars, he torments and guts the fully nude ladies. Such ugly trash, and funnier than hell. The acting, the dialogue, the gore, the music, the dumbass characters (especially the cops)... A laugh riot, all in all! Recommended, fer shore!

This is a great movie about humans in Ohio. Done in a style that's very much like a documentary, this disturbing, hilarious movie examines a really screwed up neighborhood and its denizens great, small, and smaller. There's cat-killing youths, drunken white trash (some gay), and a sick weirdo pimping his retarded sister out, even to children! I love this film! Some of its freakiest scenes get under the skin with no violence or sexual malaise, but there's still violence and sexual malaise to spare, set to an exquisite soundtrack of extreme metal. Plus, this movie is the only one I can think of other than "Blue Velvet" that took a Roy Orbison song and made it into an experience that moved me so much that I felt horrified, depressed, and extremely happy, all at once! Bravo! Bravo! A lot of people seem to hate "Gummo" for being distasteful, but trust me... THIS STUFF HAPPENS! Such beautifully ugly optimism, and it literally sticks everything and all it's got right up in your face! A must-see, I don't give a f*ck what anyone thinks.

I was very surprised to see that "Maniacts" was not what I expected in the least. In this very effective and touching movie dedicated to Joe Spinell, Joseph Spinelli (Jeff Fahey) is a serial killer known as the "Blueblood Killer". He's killed those he found to be parasites who made their living off of lying and thievery. In a mental institution for the criminally insane, he meets (along with a corrupt and murderous array of administrators and staff workers) another inmate, a female serial killer named Beth Windsor (Kellie Waymire), who killed people who attacked her as she hitchhiked. As they continue to fall more and more deeply in love with one another, the administration sees them as a threat to the reputation of the institution. Eventually, they are on the lam, taking up residence with a kindly (and somewhat psychic) old farmer who has had trouble with bankers and gang members. I don't want to say much more about the plot for fear of spoiling the surprisingly down-to-Earth surprises within. Let's just say that it's definitely not as cliched as it may sound. Most of the actors hold their own very well, and the ones who don't still ably contribute to the often very comical feel of this unconventional movie. Every time it threatens us with a cliche, it defiantly resists. I highly recommend "Maniacts", as it is that rare occasion where the mix of hilarious dark humor, touching romance and drama, and airborne-gore-style ultraviolence is actually so well-concocted that it seems effortlessly achieved (even when it actually takes extreme and true talent to create something with this kind of power).

This does not touch the Cronenberg movie (or the Vincent Price movies, from what I've seen of those), but is definitely worth the watch for fans of gross-out monster flicks. The plot? The son of Seth Brundle (Harley Cross) is born in a corporate laboratory. He grows up at a very fast rate (now played by Eric Stoltz) and falls in love while discovering the evil secrets of the bigwig and his scientists, who have raised him. Nothing helps him on his quest to destroy them more than when the metamorphosis that took place in Dad begins to take place even faster in Son. It has its funny moments (the under-used John Getz from the original gets some big, cynical laughs), as well as very emotionally moving moments (especially when Stoltz puts the mutant dog to sleep, which is very sad and touching). There is a hackneyed element, to be sure (the romantic part with the awful country song is something that would be perfectly acceptable to fast-forward through), but, overall, it's still a kinda fun movie that's more effective than many people might tell you. As far as the gore quotient goes, this one I would consider more of a splatter movie than Cronenberg's (which had its gross-out moments throughout, but wasn't as bloody as this one was). Still, if you like gore, I would suggest it especially. I myself have no problems with gore as long as I like the movie around it, and I liked "The Fly 2" enough to actually watch it more than once without that choice being under the influence of substances! Also, one way it was better than the first film was how it ended. While the ending to the first was somewhat abrupt (even if it was a great movie and didn't really need anything extra), this one features a happy ending that is not sappy (always commendable), as well as one of the greatest acts of vengeance ever agonizingly drawn out on film. All in all, I agree that "The Fly 2" doesn't really touch David Cronenberg's "The Fly" in overall quality, but it doesn't deserve the terrible reputation that's been heaped on it over the years, even if there's nothing to disguise the fact that is inferior.

I love this movie. It's hilarious, hellishly titillating, great at messing with the mind, and even enjoyable on its cheezier merits. In it, Malcolm McDowell plays a crooked psychiatrist who has made a habit of periodically abducting pretty patients from their rooms and raping them. At one point, he ends up making a major mistake and it looks pretty much like he and a patient of his have actually killed the sexy new patient he was going to ravage next. Soon, this corrupt scumbag starts to really flip his lid, not able to tell if the woman they killed is actually dead or not. The photography, the music, the sound, all of it was PERFECT! These filmmakers really know how to capture feelings of paranoia and utter dementia. Also, this movie is anti-psychiatry in all the right ways. Believe you me, I've been to some of these places! I know how those @ssholes really are, and it looks like Charles Winkler and company know, too. I do have to admit that there are a lot of typical "nut" cliches going on here, seeing as how mental patients are often portrayed as retarded people when they actually give off the appearance of being "normal" about eight times out of ten. Still, even this can be forgiveable because this movie was so much warped fun. The opening scene is pretty depressing and the end scene does have the director yelling "Cut it!", but one of the great things about this movie is watching it make a frenzied transition from dead-seriousness to absurdist hilarity with every further minute that passes. "Disturbed" is a minor classic that is tragically, painfully overlooked and underrated. It must be seen, so go watch it.

Ouch! Ooh! Oh! These sounds are the sounds that filled the air as I tried to force myself to sit through this COMPLETE GARBAGE! There was nothing good about this boring mess, unless you probably saw it in 3-D (but that's not going to make this movie any better). The plot? I really can't remember. And, though I don't think a movie actually has to have some in-depth, knock-yer-socks-off plot in order for it to be an enjoyable cinematic experience, the problem here is that all I can remember is how boring, excruciating, and dumb this movie was. And I'm not talking "dumb" in a good way! I couldn't even laugh at this! What a stinker, and you should keep a million miles away if you value the idea of being sane (regardless of how much an overrated myth "sanity" is). Ouch! It just hurts!

Alice Cooper is one of the greatest rockers of all time, and is probably the penultimate theatrical shock-rocker legend. I rented this in middle school and thought it was so kickass. It's always neat when somebody takes a handful of songs and makes a trippy horror movie out of them, as is the case here. Some of the songs showcased are among the best of Alice, but some of them were (even in my opinion) some of his lesser musical moments. At the same time, one of the great things about "Alice Cooper: The Nightmare" is how what becomes musically weak at times remains visually strong throughout. Vincent Price is one of the greatest actors associated with horror, so it would make sense to have him introduce Alice Cooper's classic horror rock, and it all amounts to a fun, freaky blast that I would highly recommend to all the weirdos out there... like me!

I completely and utterly dig this one. In all of about two minutes, it is just as nasty as it is oddly cute, and it's downright hilarious as well. The animation is great, and the soundtrack suits it all very well. The ending is gory fun, but, of course, none of it is to be taken seriously at all. I really don't want to spoil anything. I guess there's not much to explain here, because it should really just be seen. For anybody who doesn't know, it's on a fairly accessible compilation of short films called "Smash Cuts!: Totally Twisted Shorts Fest". Quite a few good ones on there, in fact! Since I'm not able to review this without at least ten lines in the review, here's one. Here's another one, too. And another, for good luck.

This was one of the greatest. Old ladies (VERY authentic old ladies with VERY authentic and believeable roles that they play well) get together for a game of what we think is going to be cards. That is, until out comes the revolver for a shatteringly deadpan round of Russian Roulette! I've showed this to a lot of people, and this is the one movie I've got that ALWAYS evokes a reactive response, whether they like it or not. The gore score and body count loudly tick by with about every minute of this very short movie that packs more of a wallop in its teency running time than a good amount of feature-lengths have. To top everything off, it's funnier than hell! There's also some great little nods at the fun-loving wacko streak that seems to really run in the filmmakers, seeing as how Puff the cat is played by "Dennis Woodruff"! I love it when weird people make movies. It gives us other weird people something to watch! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see what my brains look like on Mom's wallpaper....

I remember seeing this when I rented "Tetsuo: The Iron Man", Shinya Tsukamoto's cult classic. While that film proved to be an acquired taste, I fell in love with this masterpiece of short films instantly rather than over time. It's definitely fairly hard to describe, because it's just such an amazing film. I found it to be funny, grotesque, and just out-and-out ODD (which is always fun). The music was of a good caliber as well. This was the movie that showed me the power that even an eccentric ten-minute comedy could generate as opposed to many feature-length films. After this, I have always viewed short films as important as feature-lengths. In fact, great movies like "Drum Struck" deserve more attention than even the best miniseries-length, multibillion-dollar masturbation out of Hollywood (even when they are actually entertaining masturbation, which is, admittedly, damn rare). Hell, anyone renting "Tetsuo" is going to have to have an open mind. Just remember, as exhausting as the feature presentation is, try to keep your mind open for an extra ten minutes afterward for this classic.

This movie is almost impossible to describe. It's funny, touching, bizarre, and all in a very matter-of-fact way that works, with room in between every one of these elements for plenty of Don Coscarelli's "Phantasm" roots, as well as Bruce Campbell's "Evil Dead" roots. I was worried that this might've been one of those movies I waited years only to get let down by, but this movie was flat-out INCREDIBLE! Bruce Campbell (as an aging, crotchety Elvis who is more angst-ridden and dragged down by apparent lack of purpose than about any youth) and Ossie Davis (as his more than slightly eccentric buddy who believes himself to be JFK, of all people) team up to kick a soul-sucking cowboy mummy's ass! And, as silly as it sounds, it works better than almost any movie (if not EVERY movie) in recent memory. I loved this film, and I would suggest this to almost any weirdo with a heart and an open mind. Hell, "Bubba Ho-Tep" surpasses even every "Evil Dead" sequel AND every "Phantasm" sequel, and that's putting it mildly! By all means, see this film and understand it for what it is, AN INSTANT CLASSIC!

I have to say I loved Keenan Ivory Wayans' first "Scary Movie" (which was reason enough for some to dislike me for alone, but they can slavishly kiss my ass because they're too stuck-up for a cinematic good time). Still, I was way too disappointed by part two, and, by the time, I was watching part three, I had feared that it had all gone worthlessly stale. Surprises, surprises. Though this wasn't close to the first one, it definitely was good enough to spend money on (at least, as a rental), and I heartily laughed like a loony-toon through the whole movie. Some horror fans would view me as a betrayer because of this, but I love these movies BECAUSE I love horror movies, and because they take very effective snipes at the horror movies (as well as sci-fi, dramas, etc.) that I'm sick of hearing about from people who usually hate horror movies and view them as terrible influences. This time the leading bullseye focusses on all the "we're-spooky-horror-movies-that-aren't-horror-movies-brandished-with-a-PG-13-rating" flicks like the US remake of "The Ring". Well-deserved? Yes, I say with a mad cackle! So, simply put, "Scary Movie 3" may be numbingly stupid (because it's supposed to be), but it is one of the funniest movies out there and I did really appreciate it. The points where part two got too weak are generally out of the picture here, and this movie comes careening down the streets of the Suburbia of the Giant Budget, crashing down helpless cliches left and right just for the sake of pulling one merciless belly-aching outburst of laughter out of the viewer after another and another. It's a fun movie. Watch it if you're sick of taking things way too damn seriously.

Joel Schumacher isn't exactly one of the most beloved filmmakers as far as film geeks like myself are concerned. "The Lost Boys" was a fun teen horror/comedy. "Flatliners" was a fairly entertaining supernatural chiller, but failed to disturb as much as it wanted to. "Batman Forever" was utter garbage, and quite a few others he made I don't wish to see. Still, I had heard that "8MM" was a grim, disturbing movie. Anyone I know that's seen it always felt the same way about it in that respect, whether they loved it or hated it. Well, for me, "grim" and "disturbing" are terms that prove enticing, and I finally had to see this film. I was not only not let down, but found it to be a far more grim and disturbing (and GREAT) movie than I had expected. It starts off with the feel of almost any other "detective/cop-in-over-his-head" movies that have been coming out left and right for quite some time. Nicholas Cage plays a private eye who, when away from his job, seems to be your everyman with a family. He is paid to check out whether an alleged "snuff" film was real or not, and what he discovers are not only terrifying realities around him, but also terrifying realities inside him. At the beginning, because I was used to the aforementioned types of big-budget thrillers that have become all too common even years after "8MM" (which itself is easy to accidentally lump in along with the mediocrity if you haven't seen it), I quickly began to suspect that people found this disturbing because of its snuff depictions, but, even still, from that shaky start, I was fairly interested. What I didn't know was that this hard-hitting humdinger (as much of a horrifying journey of self-discovery as a suspense thriller) would slowly begin piling up the almost unbearable heaps of tension more and more throughout the film so heavily that, by the end, all bets were off and, as much as I loved it, I couldn't wait for this spellbinding and intense movie to relax its crushing grip. I found "8MM" to be moving in ways both negative and positive, and, though its violent scenes certainly didn't shock me at all, how good and effective the movie was certainly did. Believe you me, this is not your typical "taut thriller" (as many "critics" are often paid to call mediocre movies). If this were even just up to the expectations I had, I probably would see it as too mediocre for review. But, thankfully, this was no average time-waster, as it is surprisingly an edge-of-the-seat masterpiece that I enjoyed much more than I thought I would. I would like to note furthermore that one shouldn't get the wrong idea about people into bondage when they watch this movie. Some people out there are sickos (and I'm sure that there are people all over the world and in this country who are very much like the hateful, smut-peddling killers in this film), but many bondage fans would consider this film (and the films that it is about) too negative. Regardless, this is a fine film, and is probably one of the few thrillers from the 1990s that I could honestly say I was thrilled by. If you like those dark, emotionally intense movies that touch upon the savage and base desires of the often fragile human psyche, I would seriously recommend this. It is an excellent film.

I'll start this review off by using one of my favorite movie dialogue quotes, this one from "Repo Man": "People get so hung up on specifics that they miss out on the whole thing." There are people scratching their heads left and right, arguing about whether "Donnie Darko" is a cult film, an art film, a horror movie, a teen-angst movie, a fantasy, a self-important, overrated piece of crap, an underrated classic, blah, blah, blah, and, etc., and etc. (I know this very well, I've found myself to be one of them. :> ). Anyhoo, regardless of whether anyone can pigeonhole this movie or no (especially the jerks out there who call any fan of this movie an idiot and a sucker), this is a great movie. If you have to categorize it and slap on a label on it, why don't we say it's almost everything? This film is full of moving emotional intensity, regardless of genre association or whatever else. It has a lot of truthful things to say, and, despite what some think, it's no teenybopper flick either. The sign of angst is not illustrated in this film by Donnie (played DAMN WELL by Jake Gyllenhaal) looking out from under hair, okay? That's the sign of someone on the verge of complete madness! Get it right! And that one feature on its own does not illustrate this alone, either, because this is well-written, well-acted, and all-around WELL-MADE. If it hurts your head to figure out what's underneath it all, let your mind go and watch it as a MOVIE. Chances are you'll still enjoy it, if you're not looking for a reason to condemn it.

This is one of the most moving, entertaining, and deep films to come out during the past few years, and it is one of the few non-schlock movies of recent times that I actually give more than a flying squirrel's ass about. Some say there's nothing deep and thoughtful about this. Again, people get hung up on specifics. Anyone who knows what it's like to be a teenager in the US should see that this movie has depth, especially since it's not one of those "Heathers" rip-offs. As far as Frank the bunny rabbit, doesn't anyone see that this character is not from the far-off future? Who in the HELL came up with that one? This guy looks to me like he has very much in common with Donnie. I think he is a tortured, young artist who stumbled upon the truth in an unexplained way. (And, believe me, with many movies, including this one, some explanations are BETTER LEFT UNEXPLAINED.) I think that, somehow, he saw something in Donnie that was very important to him, so he wanted to pass his knowledge on to Donnie. Does it make sense that way? Well, this movie is mainly about very unstable people and their personal demons. When the characters you care about are unstable, the movie is unstable, as well as the message. So it will make sense to some, but not everyone. In any case, it certainly makes more since than Frank being from the year 3000, or some garbage like that! Anyway, I love this film, even as I understand that it simultaneously begs to be read into and isn't easily read into at all. Regardless, "Donnie Darko" is one of the best movies ever made, and no one should be called a moron for enjoying it.

I am, of course, a movie lover who would fit such a description. This is one of the best damn splatter-comedies I've seen in a painful golden age. It was tense, sick and twisted enough, very well-done, and VERY, VERY funny. I guess I went overboard when I, too, went on about it being revolutionary (it really isn't). I will instead say that, whether it's revolutionary film or not, it's definitely one of my favorite recent films, and I just could't help but love it more every time I've seen it. There are multiple threats in this, with a flesh-eating virus, dumb, vicious rednecks, and a dog that craves human meat, and nobody comes staggering in like a self-knowing model who took too much vicadan. This movie is the real deal. It starts off a bit slow and I was worried that it was going to go downhill for a short while instead of getting better. Boy, was I relieved when this turned into one of the greatest horror films of all time (in my despised opinion). Not many movies can get under my skin (no pun intended) without truly frightening me, but this one did. Even fewer horror films that get under my skin actually made me feel like I was having fun, even some of my favorites! Some old school-tribute horror movies like "The Dead Hate the Living!" and the aforementioned "House of 1,000 Corpses" just turned out to be fun (but very mediocre) time wasters, but this is one movie I'm sure is going to remain close to my heart in the same way that classics like "The Evil Dead" have (or at least "Bad Taste"). Wanna know why Peter Jackson liked this movie? See his first three, "Bad Taste", "Meet the Feebles", and "Braindead" (a.k.a. "Dead-Alive"). If I laughed my ass off at those, I can enjoy this one as well. Yes, it's more of a dark comedy than a straight horror film. Get over it if you like early Peter Jackson! By the way, more great horror comedies I recommend: "Phantasm", "Bubba Ho-Tep", "Evil Dead 2", "Cemetery Man" (a.k.a. "Dellamorte Dellamore"), "The Toxic Avenger", and may other genre-hybrids that get the same deserved respect that "Cabin Fever" deserves, so COME OFF IT and quit hating over it! (There's always better reasons to hate people than fun movies.)