explodingnoema

Its difficult to find anything to say about this movie. Its stupid,loud, brash and shiny but there isn't a single thought in the entire running time.

Some of the CGI is decent enough, but its overdone. The entire thing is overwrought and the thinking behind Earth's defences and the actions of the pilots is far too ridiculously stupid to believe.

Idris Elba is the only one on screen who makes any attempt to bring some energy to his portrayal, everyone else acts like they've already cashed the cheque.

There are plot holes bigger than the Pacific Rim itself, which would not have taken much to improve upon.

Del Toro doesn't care about characters or story, so he gives us a series of clichés with poor actors like Charlie Hunnam. He just wants to get to the special effects scenes.

A waste of time

If only this movie had been made thirty years ago.

There is nothing more embarrassing than people who will not face up to the fact that they're old.

OK this is basically a prison break movie ( the genre not the TV series).

Stallone plays Raymond breslin whose job is to find ways to break out of federal prisons after being incarcerated in them. A fascinating idea that could have led to a better movie than this.

After being locked into a futuristic prison Breslin befriends Arnold Schwarzenegger's character- whose name is something like Rottweiler- to escape.

There is a really boring mid section of the film where Stallone and Arnie talk incessantly trying to sound intelligent. Stallone pulls some Macgyver type tricks etc , you know the score.

the final action scene is quite good, but it fails to take into account that no amount of facelifts and toupees can disguise the fact that Stallone and Arnie are old men. Their machine gun toting days should be behind them.

On the plus side Jim Cavezeal is very good as the prison governor. Sad to see Sam Neill- a fine actor- wasted in a thankless role.

Murder Eleven is an enjoyable thriller, far more entertaining than the schlock horror slasher which the cover poster would suggest it is.

The main virtue of the film is the performances. The actors are all very accomplished and make this film come alive in a way that I didn't think it would. Jim Klock works well with his cast to lift this film to a higher level. The quality of the actors grounds this bizarre situation in reality.

Being careful not to give spoilers, I did not think the film would end the way it did.

I found the movie to be a pleasant surprise. I think you might too.

I can't understand the negativity some people feel for this film. Its a really exiting story, The cast are great, the stuntwork is great and I want to see more films with these characters.

That is pretty much all I wanted to say but I suppose I have to say something else to meet the minimum ten lines.

OK Keremy Renner is a great new lead. I may actually prefer him to Matt Damon already and if he does another one I think that'll be a certainty. He is more expressive than Damon, more convincing physically, more likable.

Rachel Weisz is the only lead female in this films I even care about. She can act! More than can be said about Damon's girlfriend or wife or whatever it was that got killed at the earliest opportunity in the second film of the series. Certainly better than Julia " I look 12" Styles as a tacked on vapid love interest.

Norton was underused that is true,Keach was too. Why Scott Glenn was in this I have no idea. He looks like the living dead and can barely speak.

Motorbike chase was epic. I want a sequel.

What is this even supposed to be?

The story makes no sense..we start with a cowboy sequence then go to the present day for some nonsense about a mirror. The mirror is apparently priceless and unique but some not very successful looking antiques dealer has it sent by parcel force to a barn.

There are two drunken idiots in the woods who meet some weird woman, a cowboy with fangs and something called shadows which, for reasons of cheapness are never seen.

We get flashbacks to some fat bloke in the Old West and a caveman raping the female baddie. The rape scene is somehow pathetically inept and offensive. These flashbacks might be explained but I couldn't understand a word that the cowboy is saying.

The female baddie acts like a lobotomy patient. She does take her clothes off a couple of times but this being a cheap uk horror effort she is not even titillating. I guess there aren't many proper actresses prepared to strip for this level of crap and Eileen Daly, Marysia Kay and Eleanor James must have been busy.

On the plus side Grace Vallorani is very talented and gives a far better performance than this garbage deserves. Ramnani and Bradley do their best with what they have to work with. The opening scenes in the cowboy town are nicely shot.

All the violence happens off camera except for a fight between the two vampires which was staged by Tommy Gunn. The fight was the worst I've ever seen but given that Gunn was in Ten Dead Men which had excellent fights I'll blame the director.

Everything else is pathetic. Avoid.

It's depressing to see Rutger Hauer - an excellent actor with some fine performances under his belt- resorting to appear in utter low budget drivel like this. I guess he must be desperate to receive a paycheck to slum it in this rubbish.

Let's be honest there is no plot, no worthwhile characters, no redeeming performances,pathetic production values. There is a lot of gore but its amateurishly done.

I gave this movie a generous 2 out of 10..more than it deserves but I wanted to differentiate it from Timo Rose's Karl the butcher versus Axe which I rated 1. Of course if the IMDb allowed me to give karl a score of zero then I would have allocated it the nothing it deserves and hobo would have been rated 1.

This movie is not worthwhile. Don't believe a film is professionally made just because it has a once great actor in it.

It is impossible to describe how pathetically inept this movie is.

It begins with what is presumably an attempt at a joke.. a carved pumpkin appears accompanied by the theme from Halloween. Then a title card appears reading sorry, wrong movie. Whatever you think about Halloween you will be wishing you were watching that instead.

Magdalena Kelly is the only person of any value in this tripe. She is pretty, has some modicum of talent and performs well in her fight scenes.

What she's doing in this crap is a mystery. I suspect that Timo Rose looked up the definition of talent in a dictionary and decided he wanted nothing to do with it.

Various members of Gang Loco are played by people who were cast simply because they look weird. There involvement in the plot consists of wandering about with plastic machine guns before being summarily killed.

The Mock-Wai tribe is a gang (3) of ageing pornstars played by Eileen Daly, Eleanor James and Marysia Kay. For some inexplicable reason they drain captive men of their semen. Eileen then drinks it, in a grotesque and badly acted scene. It is impossible to choose which of the three females is the least talented but the three worst performances ever committed to celluloid belong to them.

There is no plot of any kind. The action scenes are pathetically amateurish. The gore, effects and make-up is laughable. Avoid.