Thomas_Neville_Servo

"Non-stop action" is what all the reviews said, neglecting to mention that said action is poorly choreographed with awful beats/rhythm, shoddy CGI blood and gore, stunt guys waiting to get hit, and hits that so clearly aren't connecting.

The action scenes - the supposed draw of this crapfest in the first place but that actually slow the film down - are a complete slog, a poor excuse to watch a bunch of nameless, identity-less idiots play at massacring each other with razor blades, machetes, billiard balls, air conditioners, sides of frozen beef, shards of glass, firearms, grenades, etc. All follow the exact same routine: 1) room full of baddies grabs some weapons and run at the good guys, 2) closest baddie takes obviously slow and wide swing that in no way would hit the good guy even if the good guy did absolutely nothing, 3) baddie knows he's finished after one bad swing, but does nothing (doesn't retract his arm or leg, no attempt to dodge good guy's telegraphed finishing move, nothing) as he waits for the good guy to give him a vivisection or a lobotomy, 4) rest of the baddies follow suit ad nauseum. They are wholly uncreative, without impact or meaning, and are, again, poorly staged and executed.

By the end of the film, I just wanted everybody to die - because everybody deserved it. They are all insanely stupid characters who speak in growls and inhabit a film whose director's attempts at myth-building are a complete and utter joke. There is no story. There is no characterization. There are no motivations to be found anywhere. It's not a film FOR children, but it is definitely a film made BY children - children who still giggle at the word "wee-wee" and think that 2 hours of macho posing and screaming makes for a cool movie. If you honestly think that this juvenile stunt reel somehow qualifies as a solid action film, then all I can do is ask: How the heck old are you? Have you honestly even seen other action/martial arts films? Hong Kong was churning out films that bested this by a mile 30 years ago. Seriously, expand your horizons and stop watching crap like this.

By the title of my review, you might think I would chide films for imitating Hollywood out of some sort of reverence for the latter, but that couldn't be farther from the truth as Black House's imitation is its ultimate downfall. Being a fan of Korean cinema and having seen the original film (Kuroi Ie from Japan), I was disappointed to find that director Shin Terra basically removed the deeper aspects of psychology from the story and chose instead to focus on developing the plot along in the most basic of manners.

At the beginning of the film, insurance agent Jun-oh is drawn into a complex web of death, dismemberment, and deceit as he suspects the apparent suicide of a client's son was not suicide at all. What would seem like simple insurance fraud grows into something much more sinister as Jun-oh encounters a true psychopath. But where the film goes wrong is in focusing on Jun-oh and his generic, last-minute back story rather than on the nature of a psychopath. Let's face it, Jun-oh the character is not interesting in the least. He goes through no changes throughout the film and his immovable belief in humanity at the end of the film is all the more laughable and ridiculous after the graphic horrors he witnesses. Sure, as you say, the killer is just like you. They just like to rip the heads off of dogs and cut people into little pieces. But they're just like you. Where Kuroi Ie goes right in this aspect is first depicting the psychopath from the very beginning of the film. You know who you're dealing with, so the whole movie carries a tense atmosphere. Black House, on the other hand, chooses to go the red herring route with an oh-so-obvious red herring and oh-so-obvious culprit. The ultimate revelation for Jun-oh is neither surprising nor shocking. Kuroi Ie scores here in a second manner by depicting the psychopath with a true disconnect, a real sense of going through life without a care, rather than as a bland and boring caricature TRYING to act like a psychopath.

In the end, Black House tries to differentiate itself from the stale output of vengeful ghost films, but it falls instead into the generic thriller camp. Too stupid to be scary, and too boring to be intelligent. Couple all that with a cheesy, tacked-on ending about the cycle of violence and you've got yourself the worst kind of film - one that thinks its being artsy.

As the saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out." What do you get when you combine a hack director, silly story, annoying lead, and amateur choreography? You get a profoundly bad movie. Coming on the heels of other equally bad movies such as Dynamite Warrior, Tom Yum Goong, and Born to Fight, Chocolate is meant as another showcase for contemporary Thai action film-making sensibilities. But together, they are the Hanna-Barbera in the world of action cinema, films so bad, unoriginal, and repetitive that they take action cinema BACK to the dark ages.

Comparisons to Hong Kong action cinema abound, but whereas the classic films of Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, and others have charisma to spare as well as a keen sense of visual action, Chocolate suffers from a frankly stupid story with an untalented, annoying lead who has a voice so harsh you could sand wood with it. Skilled in martial arts she may be, but you wouldn't know it by the uninspired choreography which mainly consists of her doing a bunch of standing kicks, few acrobatics, and wire-assisted stunts while the stunt performers (the real stars of the film) go flying, trying their best to act like they're actually getting hit. I'm all for women kicking butt, but this girl is no Michelle Yeoh or Cynthia Khan. Watching her is about as exciting as watching Sarah Michelle Gellar try to do karate in Buffy.

What's really sad about this film is that the action scenes actually slow down the film. Hong Kong filmmakers knew that action scenes allowed for an enormity of inventive film-making possibilities, from camera angles to editing to stunts. While Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong displayed minute amounts of creativity, Chocolate just abandons originality in favor of mundane action set to bland techno music. To the person who commented that this film is near on par with Bruce Lee's films, I advise you to actually watch his films. The comparisons that you mention between this and Lee's The Big Boss are purely visual in nature, mostly relating to set design. That's a weak comparison. Bruce Lee imbued his films with a deep, underlying philosophy about life and humanity. Chocolate and director Prachya Pinkaew engage in crass commercialism and populism.

Check this out only if you're really desperate for something to watch. Otherwise, check out the classic Hong Kong action films for some real action film-making.

Densha Otoko (Train Man), while containing an interesting premise based on a possibly real story that was posted on Japan's popular 2ch forum, misses the mark once too often during its running time and can't cross the line into rom-com history.

The story follows Train_Man (Takayuki Yamada), a Gundam otaku (not "otoku" as some reviewers have posted; otaku is some sort of nerd/geek who spends a great deal of time and money on Japanese animation collectibles; otoku has to do with being economical) who comes to the aid of Hermes (Miki Nakatani) as she's harassed by a chikan/pervert on a train. To pay him back for his heroics, she sends him a thank you gift. Meanwhile, Train_Man spends his days on 2ch, getting advice about how to win her over and become her boyfriend since he has never been out with a girl before. The rest of the film is spent with Train_Man as he changes his appearance to shed his geeky exterior and win the girl of his dreams.

That Hermes is the "girl of his dreams" is one of the film's problems, as her character is sorely underdeveloped and a bit silly. We never see her character go through any sort of development or arc and her manner of speaking is hilariously polite and formal, NEVER conversational. This is no fault of Miki Nakatani's, who is an excellent actress (just watch Memories of Matsuko for evidence of her skill), but more the fault of the filmmakers who, despite the film's "based on a true story" marketing scheme, create more of a fantasy than a true romantic comedy. Because of that, it's hard to get behind the character of Train_Man as he's so eager to get the girl, he drops his otaku exterior to become an outgoing, handsome, socially normal young man. That he gets the girl only after he changes his look and personality also gives the film an air of superficiality.

There's a lot from the 2ch transcripts that never made it into the film, such as how many posters thought Train_Man was a disgusting person. In the film, the entire forum is portrayed as a loyal supporter. And the idea of shut-ins (hikikomori) giving dating advice to an otaku, while sort of humorous, just doesn't play out as well as it should. Again, an amusing film, but nothing special.

Sequel to the award winning anthology Three, Three... Extremes is another collection of 3 short horror films, this time from Japan, Hong Kong, and Korea. I won't spend much time comparing this to the first offering, except to say that on the whole, the short films are definitely more 'extreme' in both what they show and imply.

The first segment is "Box", from Japanese director Takashi Miike. Easily the most subjective of all three films, Miike once again shows that he knows how to craft a mind-bender of a film, relying on very little dialog and absolutely breathtaking imagery to tell a heart-breaking story of jealousy and murder between two child acrobats, both of whom are desperate to impress their father-in-law and teacher (Atsuro Watabe). Don't expect the typical J-Horror motifs as this one goes beyond the typical jump scenes, instead forcing you to examine what goes on in every scene before being confronted with the shocker of an ending.

The second segment is "Dumplings", from Hong Kong director Fruit Chan. One of the most exciting filmmakers in Hong Kong, Chan has created a wickedly twisted and satirical film about the desire for eternal youth. Adapted from a story by Lillian Lee, Dumplings sees Bai Ling (taking a welcome break from her absolutely awful Hollywood films) as Aunt Mei, a woman famous for dumplings that give back to a woman her youth and sexuality. Her client is retired TV star Ching (played by Miriam Yeung, in her most unusual and possibly best performance), who wants to regain the affection of her husband (Tony Leung Ka-fai) and the beauty she once had. Once you learn and explicitly see what the dumplings contain (which the film shows you right from the start), you will get a sense of the level of criticism this film is striving for and achieves. Even cut down to 40 minutes, Dumplings is easily the best film of the three with its brilliant narrative and superb performances from Bai Ling and Miriam Yeung, however, you really need to see the extended version of the film to get the full effect of the story and the performances. Disgusting? No doubt. Brilliant? Absolutely. Will you ever eat dumplings again? Well, you'll definitely think twice about it. Before you condemn the film for its material, think of it as a rather extreme hypothetical example and condemnation of the the human quest for eternal youth.

The last segment is "Cut", from Korean director Park Chan-Wook. This is the weakest segment of the film and should have been placed in the middle so as to be supported by the superior "Box" and "Dumplings". Park is a brilliant director, no question about that, but this particular film seems remarkably similar to equally inferior films such as "Phone Booth" and "Saw", both of which see a deranged killer teaching more fortunate and ignorant people humility and the meaning of life. The imagery, to an extent, is wonderfully evocative, yet the impact of the film resonates like a small, dying rat. The characters are impossible to sympathize with and the performances themselves are more laughable than anything else. Simply put, this is a bad film made worse by the fact that the 'extreme-ness' of the film (i.e. the violence) serves no purpose other than to shock viewers, and because of that it comes off as unintentionally humorous and downright silly. Compared to the psychologically engaging "Box" and the subtle (perhaps its most brilliant aspect), yet resounding impact of "Dumplings", "Cut", with its over-the-top silliness and ridiculous ending, is sorely out of place.

Despite the skip-worthy last segment, "Three... Extremes" is well worth watching for "Box" and "Dumplings", both brilliant offerings from two of the most visceral filmmakers working today. They may not keep you up at night, but they will definitely resonate with you long after you watch them.

From the director of The Missing Gun comes this powerful story of a journalist who travels with a small mountain patrol group as they track a band of poachers across the unforgiving lands of Kekexili, the last great wilderness.

To say this film is great is a grave understatement as its uncompromising nature and cinema verite approach to story telling elevate it above all other films of the year. What this film does so well is connect you with the protagonists in a simple, yet very effect manner. Once the initial setup and character introductions are complete, the rest of the film is spent following them through the harsh wilderness. In doing so, Lu Chuan places the viewer in the same dire situation as the mountain patrol. We're with them as they brave harsh winds, freezing water, sun-baked plains, and treacherous, snow-covered mountains. We feel their anguish as they come under attack from seemingly invisible assailants. We sense their fear and pessimism as they struggle to survive in this breathtakingly beautiful, yet ultimately deadly landscape. All this to protect Tibetan antelope. The fact that they're willing to risk everything for this unseen animal says more about their character than any amount of dialogue. They do this without a paycheck and with the knowledge that they'll probably have little to no success. By giving the antagonist so little screen time, Lu Chuan is able to broaden this story and give it global context, declaring that attitudes and actions such as this should be condemned outright. It also serves to elevate the protagonists above ordinary heroes as it can be interpreted that they're not just doing this for the Tibetan antelope, but endangered animals everywhere.

Kekexili is an enormously powerful film that should not be missed. This is far and away the best Chinese film of the year (better than Shi Mian Mai Fu (House of Flying Daggers) in every respect) and one of the best films of the year, period. 10/10

I honestly can't imagine why this movie took about 5 years to make. Sure there are some special effects (but they're pretty corny) and some painstakingly composed shots, but this is just Wong Kar Wai doing what people expect of him.

Those expecting another film along the lines of the brilliantly restrained romantic drama In the Mood for Love might find themselves to be a bit disappointed. There is no story to this film. Instead, we're presented with a series of vignettes that showcase Tony Leung Chiu-wai's (Chow) relationships with various women over the years. There's the mysterious gambler Su Lizhen (the immensely talented, yet vastly underused and sorely misused Gong Li), the tragic nightclub singer Lulu (the even more vastly underused Carina Lau), the lovelorn Wang Jing Wen (the perfectly cast Faye Wong), and the petulant, whiny, arrogant, and annoying prostitute Bai Ling (played by the vastly overexposed and overused Zhang Ziyi).

There's an inconsistency with 2046 that may turn some viewers off. Characters are created, but never developed. Some of the more interesting subplots (like Carina Lau's) get left in the dust so Zhang Ziyi and her uninteresting character can have more screen time. Honestly, how many times can you show people argue, have sex, part, argue, have sex, part, argue, have sex, part (maybe not in that order) and still expect to keep it interesting? This is where Leung Chiu-wai's Chow takes a turn for the worse. The likable character that Leung Chiu-wai created in In the Mood for Love (and the mostly likable character in 2046) is gone. In his place is an arrogant playboy who is decidedly unlikeable, though not as mind-numbingly annoying as the arrogant prostitute created by Zhang Ziyi. Yes, once again she chooses a role that requires her to act petulant, arrogant, and downright annoying. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

The movie starts to drag during this prolonged segment and doesn't pick up again until we learn more about Faye Wong's character, Wang Jing Wen. She plays the daughter of the Chow's landlord. Against her father's wishes, she's taken a Japanese boyfriend. The likable Chow returns in this segment as the 2 form a close friendship centered around his writing. Faye Wong is so fresh, charming, and eminently watchable, it's a wonder that she wasn't given as much, if not more, screen time as Zhang Ziyi! It's a real shame as Wong Kar Wai created a truly interesting character with Faye Wong. Her segments, both in the present (movie's present) and in the fictional 2046 are the best of the film.

The cinematography by Chris Doyle is nothing spectacular, often duplicating many of the shots found In the Mood for Love but with a motif of isolating characters to the sides of the frame. One of the best elements of the film has to be the music. Featuring a combination of opera, classic Rat Pack tunes, classical compositions, and original compositions from Peer Rabeen and Shigeru Umebayashi, it helps lift the movie up during those times when it falls flat on its face.

Overall, the film is very uneven. Chow's sudden character change during the story about Bai Ling was a huge misstep and really hurts the credibility of the film. Likewise, Zhang Ziyi continues to ruin otherwise promising films with her nonexistent acting ability. Her overexposed character and multiple love scenes really hurt this film. Whereas In the Mood for Love was restrained, this movie is just over the top. If Ziyi's unnecessary segment was cut out and Gong Li's and Carina Lau's scenes extended, this would have been a much more enjoyable film. As it is, it's a huge disappointment. It was a long journey to 2046, but the destination was really dull. Here's hoping Wong Kar Wai's next film, a bio of Bruce Lee's teacher, will make up for this mess. If you want to see better, more honest films from Hong Kong and China, check out films like Love Battlefield, One Night in Mongkok, and Keke Xili.

I always laugh when I see people say that this film is better than Braveheart, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, or A Touch of Zen. You may as well say this film is better than Ben-Hur! Musa is completely different, and it's completely illogical to make such stupid comparisons. Just because 2 movies have Asians and/or action in them, that isn't justification for any sort of credible comparison. Musa is what it is, a highly overrated action film, nothing more.

The film follows a band of Korean soldiers and diplomats (and one amazingly annoying silent slave - played by the equally amazingly annoying Jung Woo-sung) on their way to conduct talks with the Chinese government (Ming Dynasty). One thing leads to another and the group is charged as spies, exiled in the desert, and eventually finds itself freed after a skirmish with Yuan soldiers. Later they discover the Yuan soldiers kidnapped the Ming princess Bu-Yong (Zhang Ziyi). They decide to rescue her to, in a sense, "bargain" for their way back home. On their way back home, with the princess in tow, the group is pursued and randomly attacked by the Yuan soldiers, led by General Rambulhua (Yu Rongguang).

All this means is lots of running and lots of battles. That would be fine if we cared about the characters or the story, but the movie doesn't let us.

The filmmakers were so preoccupied with pushing the preproduction and production specs on the viewer, they forgot to add anything interesting to the movie, like drama, character development, a real sense of danger, or anything more than a paper-thin plot. It's got lots of action, but all that blood can't outweigh the over-inflated sense of self-importance that this film pushes on the viewer. It wants you to think it's an important film, but it just comes off as trite and pretentious.

Just like the Chinese film Hero, there's this aspect to Musa that is so overblown, it's insulting. There's an ostentatious air of complete and utter humorlessness. This is made even worse by the stereotypical characters like the smug and silent hero and the arrogant princess. Can these filmmakers remember that we're human beings? Not all of us are members of awards committees here.

What the film lacks in any sort of drama or emotion, it tries to make up for in the aesthetics department. The cinematography is suitably bleak, with a relatively stable camera during the film's many action scenes. There is, however, an overabundance of overly melodramatic slo-mo shots near the end that illicit more giggles than shocks. The action is choreographed very well........perhaps a little too well. I like the level of violence and admire that the filmmakers didn't shy away from showing some of the more graphic shots, but it's all very neat and clean, and a little too obviously choreographed. Jung Woo-sung's silent slave character has skills with a spear that are so perfect and unmatched, I began to wonder why this group even felt they were in danger? He's completely flawless and completely uninvolving on an emotional scale. I audibly cheered when he died.

Zhang Ziyi once again plays an extremely arrogant and spoiled character, just like in all her previous movies. Why not just get a piece of wood to play the part of the princess, at least it's a bit more flexible and dynamic. The sooner people realize that Ziyi hasn't varied her "performances" one bit, the sooner they'll realize that she's not very engaging, as she's an extremely one-dimensional actress with a severe lack of emotionally driven expressions and next to no skills. Oh well, as long as filmmakers need a female to play a brooding, arrogant, emotionless 8itch, then I guess Zhang Ziyi will always have work.

Unless you're trying to rent every video in your local video store, then don't even bother with this movie. I was personally delighted to learn that Musa bombed at the Korean box office. If, however, you are interested in Korean cinema, then look for Christmas in August. It doesn't have any action in it and is a completely different film from Musa (i.e. it's not Hollywood style crap), but it will touch you on an emotional level and will definitely give you a better view of true Korean cinema. Musa gets 2/10

Ye Lou's film Purple Butterfly pits a secret organization (Purple Butterfly) against the Japanese forces in war torn Shanghai. Ding Hui (Zhang Ziyi) and her ex-lover Hidehiko Itami (Toru Nakamura) find themselves on opposite sides of the conflict after a chance meeting.

I agree with the reviewer from Paris. The film substitutes a convoluted, semi-historical conflict for a plot, without giving the audience a single reason to care about the characters or their causes. The sudden time shifting doesn't help matters as it appears completely unwarranted and pointless. Normally I don't mind dark movies, but the absence of light, the bone-jarringly shaky camera footage, and the generally bad film-making techniques really make this a tough film to watch and stay interested in. I also agree with the viewer from Georgia that this film "has a chaotic editing style and claustrophobic cinematography", but I don't think that helps the movie. The backdrop to the film is one of the most potent events of the 20th Century, and I don't believe you can do it any justice by editing it as if it were a Michael Bay film. The overly melodramatic moments don't add to its watchability.

The actors are all suitably melancholy. Zhang Ziyi once again shows that she has an exceptionally limited acting range as she spends the entire movie doing what she seems to do best in all her films, brooding and looking generally annoyed. However, at least she adds some variety to this role by chainsmoking and engaging in the worst love-making scene since Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton in The Terminator.

All in all, a very disappointing film, especially seeing as how it comes from the director of Suzhou He. 2/10

After reading praise after praise about this film on the internet from mostly western viewers (such as the completely clueless Tarantino) and seeing as how it won a major prize at the most recent Cannes Film Festival, my expectations were naturally high when I finally got around to viewing it.

I'm sorry to say that I do not share in their optimistic appraisal of this movie.

After being imprisoned for 15 years for unknown reasons by an unknown person/persons, Daesu (Min-sik Choi) is naturally a bit upset and is dying to figure out who imprisoned him and why. Borrowing a page from M. Night Shyamalan's guide to movie surprises, writer/director Chan-wook Park (along with 3 other writers) attempts to craft a whodunnit that will keep you guessing and interested until the very end. Well, they only half succeed. I'll admit that I'm normally slow when it comes to movie surprises, but this one jumps out at you as soon as Daesu gets out of prison. It couldn't be more obvious unless the director was sitting next to you whispering it into your ear. From that point on, the movie really begins to drag as we watch Daesu meander from one place to the next in an unfocused attempt to find his enemy and discover the reason behind his imprisonment. Perhaps the main problem with the film is the severe lack of information given to both Daesu and the viewer. Rather than finding out the real truth on his own, he is essentially told everything in the end thanks to a well choreographed monologue. This is not a "detective"-style story that gives you clues along the way. Some secrets and identities are revealed much too early, leaving only the unknown reason for Daesu's imprisonment the movie's last remaining attempt to keep the viewer interested. When we finally learn of the reason, it's a total letdown and should leave any experienced movie watcher either scratching their heads in total disbelief that someone actually considered this as a basis for a film or make you angry enough to stop the movie right then and there. With the movie's undeniably gritty sense of style and beautiful classical score, this should have been mind blowing. But it's not. It's pathetic. It's obvious the filmmakers really didn't know how to craft a film of this caliber, so they fall back on the "H" word (you'll catch the "H" word when you hear it in the film) to solve ALL of their screen writing problems.

Thankfully the movie does have some positive aspects. The lighting and color scheme really reflect the inner conflicts within Daesu. This is a dark film, and it shows. The cinematography is inventive and vibrant with clever scene transitions and unique movements. The aforementioned score couldn't be better. It's a great mix of classical pieces, original music inspired by classical pieces, and moments of pseudo techno/industrial music, and it certainly does a great job of infusing the viewer with a sense of doubt and depression. Min-sik Choi gives an extremely admirable performance as the mentally conflicted Daesu and handles all kinds of scenes from action to romance with a great sense of confusion and surprise. Finally the relationship between Daesu and the mysterious Mido (Hye-jeong Kang) is really quite touching, allowing for some nice dramatic moments.

That being said, it's ashame that the film's story couldn't match its style.

Chan-wook Park has directed some of Korea's best and most memorable films in recent memory, such as JSA and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, but Old Boy is simply a semi-interesting film. In the realm of revenge flicks, this is perhaps one of the more ambitious (which is definitely a good quality) films out there, but ambition can only get you so far, and Chan-wook Park just can't pull it off. Worth a look for film fans, but it's just not remarkable enough to be recognized on a global scale. Beware before you buy, for you could end up being sorely disappointed as well. 6/10

Ching Siu Tung's and Tsui Hark's A Chinese Ghost Story, aside from being one of the greatest wuxia pian films ever made, is a beautiful and romantic love story as well as an impressively choreographed martial arts film that should belong in every film lover's collection. The sorely missed Hong Kong superstar Leslie Cheung plays a traveling tax collector who spends the night at a haunted temple. While staying at the temple, he meets a colorful cast of characters that include the swordsmen Yin (Wu Ma) and Hsiao Hou, the Tree Devil, and the beautiful ghost Lit Sin Seen, played by the lovely Joey Wong.

To free her from the clutches of the evil Tree Devil, he must reincarnate her body and travel to the underworld to defeat an even more powerful demon.

Enough good things can't be said about this film. The pacing is perfect, with a great combination of romance, action, fantasy and humor, and the feverishly paced finale should leave you with little chance to breathe. The chemistry between the wonderfully tragic Joey Wong and Leslie Cheung (whose legendary career ended much too soon) really allows the viewer to feel for both of them. Indeed the acting on the whole is so vivacious and full of life, I would say this is one of the most fun viewing experiences I've ever had. Much of the credit goes to Wu Ma in his portrayal of the mysterious Swordsman Yin. His over-the-top persona of a disillusioned swordsman hell bent on vanquishing evil leads to some great moments of humor and traditional HK drama. A wonderful score, lush cinematography with eye popping colors, and frenetic action pieces courtesy of Ching Siu Tung round out this wonderful film. Find a copy anywhere you can. 10/10

After just 15 minutes into this film, I began to miss Zhang Yimou's earlier, more weighty films that looked at the politics and society of China from unique perspectives. His turn to martial arts films was a serious misstep in my humble opinion. Hero was his worst film since Operation Cougar, with a needlessly complex story and acting more wooden than that found in a John Agar film. Shi Mian Mai Fu is no different. As an American who has been studying Chinese films for a few years now (and understands and can speak some Mandarin), I'm sure my opinion is different from many others as I'm coming from a different background. SMMF, like Hero, is not really a traditional a kung fu film, and it's certainly not a wuxia pian film. There are no sword & sorcery or chivalry elements here. This is a completely different vehicle than infinitely more watchable films such as A Chinese Ghost Story (all 3), The Butterfly Murders, Green Snake, et al. While those all featured charismatic leads who looked like they were actually enjoying what they do, SMMF features bland, and sometimes laughable, dialogue combined with cardboard acting. Zhang Ziyi plays a blind person about as well as Ben Affleck. There's an air of superiority with this film that's really quite insulting. It takes itself so seriously, it just becomes a huge joke by the end. All the actors look as though this is the most important piece of celluloid in history, they destroy any chance of actually conveying emotions, and the complete humorlessness of it really makes you wonder if Zhang Yimou was making a film per se, or simply a showcase (i.e. an "ego booster") for Zhang Ziyi. The camera is literally making out with her face and she gets sexually assaulted not once but twice in the film. Her acting range really hasn't extended past her ability to play a naive "w"itch. She's so concentrated on her acting, she comes across as cold and lifeless, as though she's reading her lines from a notecard. It's so funny to hear American critics and film people (like the completely clueless Quentin Tarantino) call this film a masterpiece. I guess if they see a bunch of Asian actors on screen looking really important while flying through a bamboo forest, they're tricked into thinking it's brilliant film-making. Ching Siu Tung's choreography, while still retaining his trademark style, editing, and postures, lacks the vitality and originality of his earlier films like A Chinese Ghost Story, Dragon Inn, and Duel to the Death. Sadly to say, the wirework in this film is really subpar, and if there's subpar/obvious wirework, then you probably shouldn't have filmed it at high speed. The same goes for the special effects which have a distinct B-movie feel to them. Beans, daggers, bowls, arrows, swords, and other random objects fly through the air (after being thrown) with no regard for logic, turning, climbing, and banking as though there's a little pilot inside. I know that logic doesn't really hold a place in stylized Chinese martial arts films, but if you don't want to induce a mass amount of giggling from your audience, then you should probably work on your compositing a bit more. Mass melodrama, unintentionally funny dramatic moments, boring fight scenes, really uninspired plot twists are what await you with Shi Mian Mai Fu. It's obvious that Zhang Yimou is no longer making movies for Chinese audiences. This is meant to crack into the Western market just as CTHD did. After watching Hero and SMMF, I've come to the conclusion that if Zhang Yimou wants to make Hollywood films, he's definitely off to the right start. SMMF is basically The Phantom Menace of Chinese martial arts films. And I thought Hero was bad.

Jiang Wen and Zhao Wei star in what is probably the most sophisticated romantic drama to hit the film world in years. Fresh off a breakup from his fiance, Chen (Jiang Wen) becomes infatuated with the conservative, mysterious, and story-telling Wu Fang (Zhao Wei) after a blind date. As two polar opposites, both are lonely, depressed, and looking for love. How they go about it and their reasons for doing so are the primary forces that drive the movie. Jiang Wen delivers another great performance as the quirky and sometimes timid Chen, and Zhao Wei has shown that she is becoming increasingly versatile as an actress. Also features beautiful, lush cinematography from the always eccentric Christopher Doyle and a perfectly fitting score from Su Cong. This is not your cookie cutter romantic film. The humor is sparing, the emotions are real, and the sexual tension reaches an all time high. Highly recommended. 10/10

Adapted from the manga by Yu Koyama, directed by Ryuhei "Versus" Kitamura, and starring the ultra cute Aya Ueto in the title role, Azumi is a highly enjoyable period/fantasy samurai epic. The story follows a group of assassins whose mission is to eliminate the evil warlords who are pushing the country closer to civil war. It's a simple plot, but it gets the job done. On the whole, some might find the movie to be a bit too formulaic. Some of the plot devices are also a bit crude. But the movie is helped by Ryuhei Kitamura's trademark frenetic action, the above average choreography, the gorgeous landscape, and the gorgeous Aya Ueto. She may be a pop star, but this kunoichi looks confident with a sword, and she knows how to use it. Comparisons can legitimately be made to the recent Hong Kong blockbuster "The Twins Effect" starring the unbelievably popular pop duo TWINS (Charlene Choi and Gillian Chung). Both films are vehicles for their respective pop stars, but The Twins Effect was made with tongue firmly in cheek. Azumi takes itself much more seriously, and, for the most part, it works.

It's nice to see that Kitamura is now getting a modest budget for his film, as this looks noticeably better than the somewhat juvenile "Versus". Still, some of the effects are extremely noticeable and look unfinished, but Kitamura never dwells on them long enough for the viewer to really care. While we're on the subject of comparisons, Azumi does feature some instances of strong violence (including some nice arterial sprays), but not near as graphic as those in Versus. The filmmakers were no doubt trying to appeal to Aya Ueto's fan base by toning the violence down somewhat. On a final note, this movie delivers the goods in a big way. Great performances, great action, great everything. Enjoy it for what it is and have a good time.