clubberlang786

IMDb member since October 2011
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    12 years

Reviews

The Horde
(2016)

Fun in a bad way
This film has a totally unoriginal plot of a school trip to wrong turn country. The subplot is the teacher has a boyfriend who is Rambo. So when the action starts its is bad guy after bad guy that dies. The gore effects were surprisingly good but the acting was unbelievable and unrealistic.

In a good film the viewer is made to feel empathy for its characters but in this film there is virtually no character development and you do not care for any of the people in the film. In fact the total opposite I wanted them annoying teens to get killed.

There's a scene where a kid has his tongue yanked out and a few minutes later he's talking. Maybe it grew back. There was virtually no suspense or scares in the film. It was an action film with a few bits of blood thrown in. Its watchable and even fun but a very shallow viewing experience.

The Haunting of Helena
(2012)

Okayish film but lacked substance
This film is not all bad as some of the reviewers have stated. Some of the scenes were pretty good like the car crash and when it started to rain teeth. The story itself was good but there were too few scares and the story plodded along without really wowing you at any stage. The killings didn't really make sense and were all done off screen. I would've loved to have seen a vengeful ghost pull off someones jaw or even a good old decapitation. Alas this film fails to deliver in the scares department and doesn't play on your mind after the final credits like say Sinister does.

The ending was tame. I was expecting something like that at the end but it was muddled. What did the mother see that drove her mad? Did she see the dead body of her daughter or was it her daughter doing the killings? Had the woman's ghost possessed the girl or was it just the Earthbound spirit of the girl walking around. What did the zombie makeup on the girl's face mean? Was it significant that the mother saw this on her daughter's face earlier in the film.

The Dead
(2010)

Excellent, Old style gory zombie flick
This film exceeded all my expectations. The actors and directors may be unknowns but this was an excellently produced film in which the acting was first class. The zombies looked menacing with their vacant expressions and it didn't rely on cheap jump scares like so many of the modern mainstream horror movies. There was no CGI or special effects in this and the makeup was great. The story in engrossing right from the start with plenty of splatter and gore to keep you interested throughout. There was one goof I noticed where the man hand tightens the wheel nuts on his car to quickly get away from the zombies and is then driving around for ages over rough terrain and I was thinking 'No chance! The wheels would've long come off'. That gripe aside I would recommend this film to any fans of the genre.

Arena
(2011)

All been done before but entertaining
This plot has been done many many times before. Basically you kidnap someone and make them fight to the death for a sadistic public. The acting was okay I found. The main actor who I had never seen before handled himself quite nicely and the fight sequences although a bit cheesy and unbelievable were quite entertaining to watch. There is a lot of blood and gore with a few decapitations, stabbings and the usual someone dying after landing on a big spike. The effects were pretty good. The story and the script though was quite weak and Samuel L Jackson was somewhat subdued in this performance. Also the gorgeous Nina Dobrev (Elena from the vampire diaries) was little used being killed off in the first 10 minutes of the film. Overall if you're looking for a watchable action film where you can switch off your brain and enjoy with the boys this is okay. If you're looking for something with a bit more substance go elsewhere.

Panic Button
(2011)

Blatant saw ripoff without the blood or gore, overall average
This is a film that tries so hard to be 'SAW'. A group of people who've done bad things in the past are ordered about by a hidden psycho who wants to punish the people by performing tasks like kill another member of the group or else something nasty is going to happen to one of their friends or family.

Watching this film gave you a sort of deja vu feeling of seen it before and unoriginal. The acting in the film was surprisingly good. There was the usual joker in the group, a strong lady, a weak hysterical lady and a strong male. It was quite cliché ridden and I for one foresaw what was going to happen apart from the twist at the end. Which is really good.

I wouldn't call this film horror its more a suspense/mystery. There's no scares or blood just psychological torture. I don't know why it is called panic button either but it is not a bad film. Just distinctly average and nothing special but watchable.

Born Bad
(2011)

Very watchable, even fun but not very believable
The idea behind the film of your daughter falling for a charming man who turns out to the devil is probably every parents nightmare however this film was pretty poorly acted and some of the decisions taken by the teenage girl Brooke were just unrealistic, unbelievable and damn right stupid.

The speed with which she falls for this guy she has just met and starts telling him her innermost feelings is unrealistic. There is a scene where Denny slaps Brooke and then he apologizes to her. They then go to the girl's house and everyone finds out he's bad and the stupid girl still goes with him. Perhaps he didn't slap her hard enough. I felt no sympathy for her and part of me wanted to slap her myself.

The next unbelievable decision was when Denny and his robber friends are terrorizing Brooke's family and she escapes from being tied up in the car. Instead of running away and calling the police she decides to sneak into the house and rescue the family herself from three men armed with guns. Who on Earth wrote this unbelievable plot? A ten year old could probably write better.

Despite all of these flaws it was still quite a fun movie to watch. I suppose the purpose of a film is to entertain and this does do that.

Alyce
(2011)

Not a bad film just a bit weird
This is quite a strange film starts out a girls night out. All light hearted fun turning to drinking, drug taking and ending with one of the girls accidentally falling off the roof. After this the film gets weirder with the other girl (Alyce) taking stronger drugs which turn her into a murderous psychopath. I suppose this is a warning on the dangers of taking drugs. There is a strange moral speech by the drug dealer half way through the film where he tries to justify his lifestyle by telling us that the real bad guys are the money grabbers in wall street and war mongers in government. There are some nice comedy moments in the latter part of the film where she sweetly asks a handyman if she can borrow his saw, hammer and baseball bat to get rid of a dead body. The way she mashes the dead body with the baseball bat and with regular kitchen appliances and the waste disposal was a joy to watch. Her reaction to the police in her apartment at the end is classic comedy. I enjoyed this film and I don't even know why but I don't think it's for everyone.

Go-hyang-i: Jook-eum-eul bo-neun doo gae-eui noon
(2011)

Great story and an actual scary film from Korea
I don't get scared watching horror films usually as I've been watching them from the age of 5 and I'm over 40 now. I've watched everything from slasher movies, extreme gore splatter fests, monster movies etc but there was something about this film which was different from the norm. The acting was superb and the film well paced. The main character in the film suffers from claustrophobia which is a condition I too suffer from and perhaps this meant I could relate to the character on a personal level. The storyline itself was quite simple of a vengeful ghost of a girl seeking retribution for being buried alive. The special effects were simple but effective. The ghost looked scary and quite menacing and puts big budget Hollywood to shame. I loved the way the ghost was in the corner of the peoples eye and we didn't see too much of it. Also a nice touching ending showing the girl overcome her claustrophobia and still have her love of animals.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings
(2011)

Enjoyable and silly bloody romp
I, personally enjoyed this. A film with lots of blood and gore, nudity, and sexy girls. Okay this is a strictly 'no brains required' offering but an enjoyable ride all the same. The friends are dumb but fun. Some of the decisions made by the characters are unbelievable like the 'let's stay and fight these well armed and skilled hunter hill billies rather than try to make a break for it', 'if we kill these hill billies in cold blood that will make us as bad as them'. The decisions were so dumb you were almost urging the hill billies to kill and eat them. The acting was quite cheesy and this was pretty unscary more funny. It was an entertaining film and that is what a film is supposed to do so it succeeded at something at least. The ending was pretty good although they forgot about the girl who went skiing to look for help. Also loved the hillbilly's lock picking skills - that must've been the easiest ever cell door to lock pick.

Blood Oath
(2007)

This film is S**T, don't even waste your time on this garbage
This must be the biggest load of crap masquerading as a horror film I've ever had the misfortune of seeing. If only it were possible to slap all the actors and actresses (I use those words loosely)in this turd of a film and sue the producers of this film for my time wasted watching this.

It started off promisingly a couple are making out in a car. She's giving head when he gets a phone call. It's his ex-girlfriend. The girl tells her to F-off as they are busy about to have sex. The ex tells him she's going to throw out his music cd's to which the guy tells the girl to cool it with the BJ so he can convince his ex not to throw out his CD's. WTF. Who writes this bullshit. The boyfriend is predictably decapitated. It gets worse from then on.

A stupid horror legend of a couple making a blood oath for happiness and having twins girls in return. The witch wants them to sacrifice one of the twins. The couple refuse and they die in a car crash. he girls survive. One is adopted and the other horribly burnt is supposed to haunt the woods and kill people. Why? The acting is horrible as is the script. All I can say is avoid at all costs. I have tried to warn you so if you watch it you only have yourselves to blame.

The Woman
(2011)

Enjoyable and misguided tale of gore and violence
I didn't know anything about this film before I saw it but being a person who enjoys the saw, hostel type gory horror films I enjoyed this film even though some of it was very poorly directed and didn't make a lot of sense. The story is extremely strange and original about a man who captures a wild savage cannibal girl and brings her home to his family. She is chained inside the barn where the man tries to domesticate her. I think there is a misguided feminist message in this picture of all men being control freaks who wish to dominate women through violence. Showing the boy enjoying the same sadistic pleasures as his father echoed this.

Some of this film was quite unrealistic like the man wanting to have sex with the woman soon after she had bitten off his finger. Come on guys if he had branded her with a hot poker or chopped off her foot in retaliation that would've made sense. Nobody in their right mind would've wanted to have sex with her after that. The treatment of the teacher at the end didn't make sense at all. Why would the man more or less confess that the child the girl was carrying was probably his. The ending was confusing and the message this film sending out unclear.

Why did the teacher and mother die? Why did the cannibal girl take the little girl? Who was the other little cannibal girl? Also what on earth is the short film/animation in the end credits all about.

Little Deaths
(2011)

Weird trilogy, overall disappointing
I watched this film on the strength of the reviews and wasn't impressed with this film at all. The first story about the homeless girl was by far the best. It was great to see the nasty rich couple get what they deserved. I would've got the girl chop off his penis and make him choke on it as was said in the early exchange between the man and the girl. The acting was extremely good in this short story. The way the woman taunts the girl calling her a worthless nobody before the girl gets her revenge was great.

The second part was bizarre and by far the weakest of the lot. A prostitute hallucinating on drugs made from nazi experiments from the semen of a man fed on the livers of murdered people. WTF. Vivid imagination but too weird an idea that didn't work for me.

The third installment was a good idea of a man treated badly by his girlfriend who gets his revenge on the 'bitch' in the real sense of the word. However I thought this was badly acted and executed. The characters weren't fleshed out properly and no explanations were given for the mood swings of the girl or why their relationship was as it was. The ending disappointed as it was left to the imagination what the dogs did to the girl.

Apart from the first installment I was disappointed with this. So just 3/10 from me.

BKO: Bangkok Knockout
(2010)

Poorly acted, no real plot, slow to get going but great action
The first half an hour of this film is a bore. I know they are trying to introduce us to the cast and maybe flesh out the characters a bit but there are simply to many characters and it was a bit of a pointless exercise. I thought I'd carry on watching despite the really poor acting and lack of any real plot. All I can say is I'm glad I did because the martial arts action in this film is breathtaking. When it starts it is fast ferocious and continuous. Maybe because of the lack of any real character development you don't care about any of them. It is great watching some realistic looking punches and kicks landing with satisfying thuds. Even the women take kicks and punches and get up to fight back. Some of the stunts don't quite work like the guy in the car trying to run over people and crashing through the obvious to see paper thin wall. This is no IP Man or Ong Bak but still not a bad film.

Hellraiser: Revelations
(2011)

Very poor imitation, No more hellraisers please
You all know how this story goes. Someone messes about with a Chinese puzzle box which is supposed to open the doors to unimaginable pain and pleasure. The box opens and they are confronted by the Cenobites who tear off your flesh with chained hooks. This film is exactly the same this time it is the turn of two young friends who are given the box by a dirty tramp in Mexico.

This film is a blatant copy of the original Hellraiser including Niko asking his friend to kill people for him so he could put a bit more meat on his bones. There are a few juicy kills in this film I did like the bit where Steven beats the prostitutes brains out with the puzzle box and when the chains rip the woman's throat open at the end.

However the acting was poor and wooden. The cenobites didn't look scary and there was nothing remotely scary about this film. You have to question why the film makers even bothered making this sequel. It offers nothing new to the series at all.

The Caller
(2011)

Why didn't she just disconnect the phone?
This supernatural thriller is quite entertaining but the lead actress was so dumb in the film that it is incredible. Firstly why would you give your full name to an obviously disturbed caller. Secondly why even answer the phone. She had a cellphone as well. The film is quite similar to Frequency with two people from different times talking to each and in typical Back to the Future style when something is changed in the past it affects the future. The only thing missing was the cool car and the flux capacitor. It's all been done before and done better. The acting on the whole was quite good shame about the silly plot. Not bad but not good either. On the whole watchable and quite entertaining just not believable.

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