Reviews (5)

  • Warning: Spoilers

    I'll give a quick run down of the film. Starts off quite spooky, old guy – E.Blackwood owns a mansion, turns out he's feeding these little goblin like creatures teeth in a bid for the safe return of his son (who the goblins have captured). He tricks his housekeeper into coming down into the basement and trips her over before knocking her teeth out while housekeeper is still conscious. Quite a distressing scene that you would think would set the tone for the rest of the film. Moving now into current times, Dad (Guy Pearce) and girlfriend (Katie Holmes) renovate said old mansion and have Guy Pearces little daughter (Bailee Maddison) thrusted upon him (for reasons we never actually find out properly)

    Little daughter being an inquisitive little toe-rag, hears voices coming out of an old ash pit in the basement and thus opens up the bolted door releasing the goblins into the house who proceed to terrorise her. No-one believes her until Katie Holmes starts to come round after paying a visit to their grounds keeper (who has just been attacked by the goblins and seems to know more then he's letting on) and visiting the library to do a bit of research on E.Blackwoods past!

    Anyway, film comes to a climatic ending with the little girl being taken into the ash pit before Holmes saves the day, sacrifices herself and thus bites the dust.

    Decent premise you'd think, until the gigantic plot holes appear.

    For example, with the grounds keeper being attacked and hospitalised by the goblins – no police investigation, just a routine accident, no further action taken/need. Wtf?!

    The little girl squashes a goblin whilst being attacked by a fair few ... I bet your thinking "surely she told someone about the goblin, they saw the corpse, and then all hell broke loose as they ripped up the ash pit in search of little demons and dead bodies". Errrrr NO. The corpse wasn't even pointed out. Neither were the photo's she took of them on her Polaroid instant photo make camera thing!

    Throughout the film, occurrences keep happening where the little girl is put to bed on her own, or left alone time and time again. Now who would do such a thing to a little child who is clearly distressed! Holmes, after being sucked into some never ending ash pit, is forgotten about after Pearce and his daughter visit the house the next day to pay homage to her. WTF?!

    The film ends here and nothing more is said .. apart from a few "our time will come" lines from Holmes, who I'm guessing is now converted into a little goblin somehow.

    YES I know its a film ... but the major gaping plot holes .. they were bigger then the ash pit in the film, just make for a disappointing film in the end .. Guy Pearce was robotic, and his material was poor for such a good actor, Katie Holmes was her usual wooden self and Bailee Maddison as the was tremendous as the mischievous terrorised girl

    Other then that, I would class this film as a disappointment, and thus rate it 4/10
  • Warning: Spoilers
    After watching "Dark of The Moon" yesterday, I felt compelled to write a meaty review for the first time since registering myself with IMDb back in 2006. I've had a few reviews scattered about, all which have met the 10 lines that were required, however this will have more substance … and rightly so ..

    Where can I start?

    The GOOD: • The action and special effects are incredible. Top drawer and hats off to the FX department for bringing the transformers and scenery destruction to life! • Rose Huntingdon-Whitely is very hot .. her lips make me drool .. yummy. Would definitely "hang out the back of that any day of the week". ©Richard Keys • I'll mention the special effects again to beef up the positives! • Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime and Leonard Nimoy as Sentinal Prime are exceptional as the voices of the Primes • Shia Lebouf brings out his acting talents, and although wacky in some places and somewhat Over The Top in others, does bring out his emotions well. • Nice use of modern day vehicles • Strugglingto find more positives to be honest …

    THE BAD: • The movie is full of plot holes and unanswered questions thought out the movie. Not to mention the lack of a relationship between the other movies. Transformers disappear (Arcee, Barricade, skids and mudflap etc), new Transformers appear (Que, Brains, Shockwave, Laserbeak, Wreckers) and there is no explanation as to where they come from or where they went? • Why oh why does Bay have the same old tired tested clichés in his movies. Bad acting, explosions, lack of story, sexy female lead showing plenty of ass and cleavage but very little acting skills and more! • RIDICULOUS events take place .. Starscream and his downfall by first, a grappling hook to the eye? Shockwave taken out by a bunch of humans after .. wait for it, having his vision blocked by a parachute dropping from the sky! Shockwave being one of the biggest, strongest and deadliest decepticons in the series? Its the same as the first film where a bunch of humans can take Blackout .. OUT .. it just would never happen in the TF universe! • Megatron listening to a female and not killing her instead? Maybe if he'd have killed her AFTER she'd have given her speech then that would have brought back a little bit of reality .. but why would a Decepticon, who has so much disdain and little regard for humans, during the series, let the fit bird live? It just doesn't make sense? • In fact Megatron and Shockwave are absolute aberrations as Transformers in dark of the moon .. utter waste of time, metal and oil • What was the point of the cube and the pyramid contraption in the other films if the main point of the trilogy was about a space bridge?! WHY? WTF!?!?! POINT?!!! • And speaking of oil .. why do the robots now leak RED OIL? As to make out they are bleeding??!! They look much better oozing black oil, black fluids, thick heavy black fluid, not diluted watered down red diesel ribena crap?! ffs, Bay what were you thinking?! • What is the point of Sam's parents? Pointless – comedy value but they aren't even funny. The mother is particularly annoying and I ask you now, who has a mother that acts like that? • Patrick Dempsey – criminally underused - turns out to be a pointless character in the end and the same goes for .. • John Malkovich – WTF… • Alan Tudyk (Pirate Steve from Dodgeball lol) again, has a minor role but could have been given much more material. In the bar when he disarms the female holding the shotgun, he mentions about his past. That is something I was interested to know about! • Frances McDormand – whether she thought this was a role she can ham up a little bit, I dunno , but it wasn't great watching her strut about as a spoilt older child sort of person • Product Placement – Ridonkulous! • I didn't know that Transformers made themselves .. FAT .. what was the Scottish one all about? And where did the wreckers come from?! Jeez, sort out some background for them please! • The story about the space transporting bridge (similar to the animated series) is bizarre ..

    Dark of the Moon was very much a movie about the Autobots this time round .. the Decepticons take a backseat to the humans (yet again) and the heroic Autobots… I'll have to stop writing this review as the more I think about the film, the more I become p*ssed off at Michael Bay for butchering the franchise and churning out some commercialised product that tries appealing to all but in the end confuses a lot of us and ultimately spoils the Transformer name as a movie product. I can't even contemplate what to think with regards Dempseys character arranging the budget to stop the USA from scouting the moon again, from the increasing number of plot holes that I keep discovering the more I think things over, the fact that some roles in the film are utterly pointless and are only in the film to remind us that yes, Sam does have parents, yes he did date Megan Fox, who has done a runner and gone into hiding, etc .. etc .. ETC .. ETC!!!!!Sure the action is amazing in this film, but like a lot of Bays films (action, romance, more action, more romance ZZZzzzzz) the same old tired formula springs up and thus we are left scratching our heads with a bag ful of unanswered questions and a giant tinge of disappointment.

    Dark of the Moon 5/10

    Transformers under Michael Bay – 3 or 4/10
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Watched this film last night on channel 4 (UK) and i must say that i was very disappointed with this film. The beginning started off OK. Man takes a turn down the wrong lane and collides with a 4x4 leaving both vehicles out of action.

    However, when the first person was killed, the predictableness was unbelievable.

    death after death was soooo predictable. The scenes were clichéd and i felt i had to shout at the screen to tell the characters what to do..

    IN THE HEAD!! Don't GO THERE!! Don't DO THIS!! and why is it that in all these films with inbreds they are always made out to be superhuman?? surviving axes to the heart, arrows to the head, fires, 40 ft drops......sheesh!
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Watched this film late on a Saturday night and i must say it was very disappointing....

    its started off so well, a gloved man creeps into someone's apartment, and murders a young women while she's in the bath, then loots her jewellery, then it descends into a poorly scripted film

    i somehow managed to watch it??

    *SPOILER* the ending where he just jumps into the water because he see's his mother is shocking?? i mean, he killed her in the first place so why would he want to go back to her!!!!

  • Warning: Spoilers
    I've read a lot of the reviews on here and there are some really negatives views of the film

    OK so it is a bit tosh, cheesy, the music clashes and the storyline is a bit naff! i mean can a helicopters loudspeaker destroy a massive satellite dish?!?!

    but not taking anything away from a great film which i thought was thoroughly enjoyable! The music, if somewhat out of place is really catchy. especially the "do u wanna be a hero" song, the action is OK! i like the part when he's firing the machine gun at the Germans in the war, then zooms back to modern day and is shooting at the police! classic!

    Very enjoyable film i must say