Yes yes, I know. By any modern standard, this movie was horrible. The characters had zero depth and the acting was so one dimensional that it's impressive the camera didn't pick up the edges of the cardboard cutouts they called a cast. The writing tried to avoid subtly so much that what would have turned into a predictable plot had anyone else been in charge actually surprises the audience with its brazen disregard for plot holes. The story must go on, flimsy though the reasons may be.
But with a little shift in context, the genius emerges. Our young director, still learning his times tables during the day, managed to piece together a feature length film. The very idea of a monster who can leap 35,000 feet with ease, and can see 80 miles in each direction (but is equally blind to anything within 5 feet of it, unless it's a tasty extra dressed in military garb) could only be conceived in the mind of a child, but making it unkillable and immune to turbines, bullets, and good old punching? That is the very essence of childhood imagination. You can hear the whispers of backyard fights and "not-uh, I'm immune to explosions" justifications. And our young director takes it even farther! What's better than 1 unkillable unstoppable murder cricket? Why not 2? Or 5!
Of course, a good child knows the good guys always win. In a heroic sacrifice, our hero carries the monsters into the vat of acid (acid is how you demolish buildings, right? Like, just turn on the acid sprinklers and the buildings all melt away?) and the world is saved.
Sometimes, the answers really are just in front of our face. It just takes a child to show us how simple the world can be.
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1 star for Eddie.
1 star for Venom.
1 star for the VFX crew.
The scenes where they were alone, the plot forgotten, and they got to do silly alien and alcoholic human things were the highlight of the show.
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