kwaryn

IMDb member since February 2004
    Lifetime Total
    5+
    IMDb Member
    20 years

Reviews

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House
(2016)

If watching someone slowly walk around a house for 90 minutes is your thing, this is the movie for you.
But for me, it was quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.

A Christmas Carol
(2019)

A completely unnecessary version of Scrooge
There is a reason why after more than 175 years, a Christmas Carol is still told year after year in many different versions. Because it is a timeless classic that does not need to be 'reinterpreted' or 'reimagined'.

Cursing and nudity? Scrooge getting molested as a boy? Mrs Cratchit prostituting herself for money to pay for Tiny Tim's surgery? Tiny Tim dies by falling through the ice while skating? There is so much wrong here.

Guy Pearce is usually good in everything, but this was awful. I didn't buy his redemption for a second. None of the ghosts looked like they are supposed to. It took forever to get to the ghost of christmas past, who then hung around forever it seemed, even turning into Ali Baba (WTF?) for a while. On the other hand, the ghost of christmas future was here and gone in the blink of an eye.

I can go on and on, but why bother. This is easily the worst version of my favorite christmas story I have ever seen.

Fallen Angels
(2006)

OK...but a let down
I've been looking forward to Fallen Angels for a long time, as I loved Jeff Thomas's other movie, 13 Seconds. While 13 Seconds had it's flaws, mostly in the acting and dialog, I thought it was a brilliant movie. It was a good story, a great twist ending, and some seriously creepy filming.

Scenes like the reflection in the doorknob and the upside down creature in the airvent were brilliance in their simplicity. I put 13 Seconds near the very top of my list of favorite Horror movies.

So I was really looking forward to his follow-up film, especially since it seemed he had more money to put into it, and had a slew of Horror Cult legends in the cast.

And while Fallen Angels wasn't a bad movie by any means, I was pretty disappointed. It looked like there was more focus toward making scenes just for the sake of putting familiar actors in the movie then there was in telling a good story. Many of the characters aren't even around long enough to make any kind of real impact or let the viewer make an emotional investment in them.

The great Reggie Bannister was here, then gone. Michael Berryman had a quick scene. Christy Hemme, who looked great, was in the film for all of 7 seconds, with no dialog. It seems like the addition of so many 'names' took away from the overall quality of the film.

Also, much of the film was too dark. It was difficult to see what was going on in some scene. I know the film was taking place in the sub-basement of an abandoned prison, and it's supposed to be dark, but the lighting could've been better.

I did enjoy the movie though, although it's probably not one I'd watch again and again like 13 Seconds. The scene with the Medium was very well done, probably my favorite in the movie. The ending 'revelation' was pretty cool, although it's execution came off a little bit hokey, and some of the kill scenes with the teeth pulling were pretty intense.

I will say it was a much better horror film then the garbage the big budget movie studio's have been pushing out for the last several years. Mainstream horror has really lost it's way over the years, unless another mindless, by the numbers, Saw sequel is your thing. I'll take a good indy flick from the likes of Jeff Thomas or Dante Tomaselli over that nonsense any day of the week.

Jeff Thomas is a very talented film maker. All you have to do is watch Fallen Angels and especially 13 Seconds to see that. And I have a ton of confidence that by the time he's finished, he's gonna have a long line of great horror films under his belt.

But for his future work, he needs to focus on making a great movie and telling a good story more then making a film that tries to jam as many Kane Hodders and Reggie Bannisters into a 90 minute film as he can.

Oh...and Peter Brady? C'mon Jeff.

That being said, I'll be eagerly awaiting Jeff Thomas's next film, whenever and whatever that may be.

Support Indy Horror.

Kenny

Satan's Playground
(2006)

Not as good as Horror, but still very good
After what seemed like waiting forever, I finally got to see Satan's Playground. While I was slightly disappointed, I still think Satan's Playground is a very good movie.

I guess the disappointment comes from the fact that SP isn't in the same style as Tomaselli's other two movies, Horror and Descocration, which are just two complete Mindf*cks of movies.

SP, by design, is a more straightforward, 70's horror style movie, which uses atmosphere and mood as it's strongpoints, and not story, gore or special effects.

If you've seen Tomaselli's work, you've seen that he is the master when it comes to setting mood with lighting, camera angles, music, etc. It's his strongest asset, and covers up weaknesses in his films such as somewhat shoddy acting, storyline problems, etc.

Besides the atmosphere, SP is strengthened by the performances of Irma St Paul and Christie Sanford, who just seem to be legitimately creepy people. They easily steal the show from the 'name' actors of Sandweis, Rose and Neal.

The location was excellent as and eerily picturesque. The NJ Pine Barrens can be beautiful and haunting at the same time, and Tomaselli captures that in this film.

Among the weaknesses in this film are, Tomaselli doesn't seem sure if he wants to make a movie about Mother Leeds, or the Jersey Devil. Now, as those who know the legend of the Jersey Devil know, they walk hand in hand, but in this movie they come across as two completely separate entities, and not enough is done to make a connection between the two.

I also wasn't thrilled with the ending. It seemed to me like it was just 'Ok, let's end the movie....now'.

And for as good as the performances of St Paul and Sanford were, the performances of Sandweiss and Rose were very weak. Especially in the beginning.

That being said, I recommend this movie to everyone. While it has it's weaknesses, Tomaselli's strengths outshine them easily. Dante is just right in tune with the way horror movies should be made, and SP is much better then any horror movie put out by any of the major studio's in the past decade or two.

One of these days, and I think it will be soon, Tomaselli is gonna make a movie where the acting and story match his brilliance when it comes to setting moods and doing all the subtle things that make his movies great, and when he does, we're gonna have a masterpiece on our hands.

While Satan's Playground isn't quite a masterpiece, it's still a much better option to watch then anything else put out this year.

Dante, and anyone else connected with this film, if you're reading, good job, keep up the good work, keep improving, and I'm looking forward to the Ocean. Let's just hope the wait isn't as long as it was for Satan's Playground. You, along with maybe a few others, are the future of the horror genre. In a time of big studio cookie cutter horror films, it's great to be able to watch movies from a director who knows how to make a horror movie the right way.

13 Seconds
(2003)

One of Horror's Best
I bought 13 Seconds on DVD based only on a recommendation from a member of Fangoria's message boards, and an interest in expanding my Independent Horror Library. And let me tell you, after watching 13 Seconds, not only do I think it is the best Independent Horror movie I have ever seen, I'd rank it up at the top of all Horror movies I've ever seen, big budget or no budget. And I've seen a lot of them.

This movie was so well done. The scares are genuine. There is a good mix of both cerebral horror and gore. The story is original and the ending twist is awesome. From banging doors, shadows moving in the background, reflections on door knobs, the imagery keeps you on your toes, never quite sure if you saw what you thought you saw.

While the acting ranges from decent to awful, the story, direction, creepy monsters, and overall atmosphere makes you forget about the limitations of the actors.

Whatever you do, make sure you see this movie. It's that good.

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