eahoulie

IMDb member since March 2004
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    Lifetime Bio
    1+
    IMDb Member
    17 years

Reviews

The Hunger Games
(2012)

Read the book, or not. The movie disappoints either way.
All of you "Battle Royale" people, congratulations, you've cracked it. That movie had a thing... and THIS movie has a thing, now can we move on. The uphill battle this movie faces is that there is so much to cram in here, and in the book it's all written in first person. Since Katniss can't narrate the dang movie (we came to watch, not listen) much has to be explained to us through dialog, which usually does come across as contrived and as "talking down" to us, the audience. It also has to move fast and one can miss all of the fear, terror, and outright absurdity of The Hunger Games. 12 year olds are murdering each other in desperation, in full make-up and high heels if the Capitol wanted it, and it's mandatory viewing. As a few people have mentioned, they didn't explain Katniss's history, she may be scared looking, but she is a hardened hunter. Starving to death is kinda District 12's thing. She's had to keep her family alive, just about single-handedly. The bread moment with Peeta is everything to their relationship and it's not depicted well. Her relationships with Rue and Peeta are touching on empty pits in her heart she's not been allowed to acknowledge. She's burnt up and stung up and goes deaf in one ear after blowing up the pyramid, but the movie makes that all look easy. The relationship between Peeta and Katniss is the most awkward, heart-breaking thing ever, in the book. In the movie, it's tolerable. This should've been two movies, believe me they would've been more enjoyable if they stayed faithful to the books, and developed the relationships. Hollywood baby, gotta crap this out quick, got 2 more books to adapt. If you've read the book, you'll say meh, it's ok. If you haven't you'll not be interested in seeing the other two.

Howl
(2015)

Just put it on.
If you're like me, and you've watched close to every horror movie on Netflix and Hulu, save yourself some scrolling time and just put this on. You'll be glad you did. It's so much better than its 5 star average review. There's an original werewolf design, and it's practical. Sure the people on the train are "unlikable" but, are you here to make friends or watch people get torn apart by werewolves? Especially unlikable people. It's shot and acted well. There's some spooky moments in the dark of the forest, under a sky that promises if you just hang in a bit longer the sun will rise and it'll all go away. Is it your typical people stuck somewhere surrounded by monsters movie, sure, but it IS one of the better ones.

Lavender
(2016)

Single use movie.
I'm not a huge fan of the slow burn. No, I don't need explosions, but if a film gets any slower than 'Ex Machina' I feel as if we're stretching a short film into a feature. This film is slow, very slow, just when we think we're getting somewhere the lead "doesn't remember" or "doesn't know why..." and after two steps forward, we take a step back. However, this isn't a bad film. The reveal at the end is worth the wait and will leave you saying (in a good way) "What the hell no!". The lead is the lone survivor of her family's massacre. In order to protect her from what she knows, her brain gives her amnesia. She's somewhat trapped in a childlike state, which if you look at her that way she's less annoying. I can't say the same for her daughter, who was incredibly annoying with no redeeming quality. The husband's also a bit of a dud and very unsupportive as his wife tries to sort out some pretty tragic stuff in her mis-firing brain. Her mind plays tricks on her. She sees things that aren't there and has an imaginary psychologist in the image of her dead father. Her dead sister also shows up. There's the weak "we can't let you leave" statement given by the dead sister, which is misleading. The living daughter also sees the dead sister for no other reason than, it's spooky, I guess. There are quite a few vague things that might leave you feeling like "come on already explain this crap, movie." I don't understand all these reviewers with 'unanswered questions' who 'never figure out what's going on'. The movie does a great job explaining itself, and it's really quite simple. It's the kind of movie to throw on while your knitting, clipping coupons... or scrapbooking or doing something else to fill in the huge gaps when nothing really is going on.

Faults
(2014)

It's a slice of white bread served with jam instead of butter, expecting you to think that's a sufficient twist.
Based on the description given on FrightPix I had thought we would find that the daughter truly had supernatural powers. The "shocking twist" however was no more than 'everyone's in on the mundane'. Boring. Leland Orser is amazing. I started watching this, and stopped it after his presentation at the hotel so I could get other people to enjoy this with me because it looked like a good one. Turned out to be just another "Borgman" however. Its attempts at humor are confusing. It should have just trusted that we would laugh at the desperation of Orser if it wanted to be humorous, which it shouldn't have. There was some bizarre sex, some oddly placed loan shark nonsense, a 'Hey I walked through walls while you were out' moment that amounted to nothing. It's as if Winstead and Orser were in two different movies and I wouldn't have recommend either of them to anyone.

Mother!
(2017)

Disturbing, traumatic and happening everyday.
If you absolutely hated this movie, you also probably think it's ok to carve presidents faces on sacred mountains "Just to show we were here." You also probably think it's ok to pollute 'just a little' and argue for plastic straws. There's no denying what's happening to Mother is happening in real life to our planet. Yes, even its most insane moments are happening a thousand fold every day. Now, if you went in blind not knowing the allegory, which is how I went in, it is still a damn freaky movie. The feeling of helplessness, of losing everything you built while your husband does nothing and even seems to be enjoying it as he coddles and forgives the perpetrators without offering any defense. As hands grope at you and the stain of blood on your land can never be washed clean. To have your son ripped apart and eaten before your eyes... it's called 'empathy' and lack of it is the root of this world's problems. Whatever you believe is the method for how it happens, doesn't matter, but it has happened before. Over and over again God creates an Eden and over and over his most beloved creations destroy it. This movie is traumatic and disturbing and certainly has made a needed statement. It was shot well and acted well. Why an 8 then? It was a bit long and well, I don't like having to look up what the hell a movie is about. Sure some veiwers knew what was happening (my brother-in-law knew what was up in 'Shudder Island' before the ferry even got to the island). Some may have read about its meaning and instead of using this to inform their experience they called it 'pretentious art crap'. Again, empathy. Put yourself in her place. In Mother Earth's place and think about how you can build her up instead of ripping her apart.

The Black Waters of Echo's Pond
(2009)

What movie did these people watch?
Is this a case of Hollywood underlings giving this excellent Independent Film bad reviews so you watch more Blumhouse Movies? This film deserves better. It has an original plot with great dialogue, actual character development, well done practical effects, decent acting and characters that have more than the 2, get high, get naked dimensions. It's way better than your average horror flick. These other reviewers either didn't watch this movie, were paid to write cliche negetive reviews, or were afraid to watch a film that wasn't predictable like thousands of Hollywood churned out trash flicks that flood this market. If you're looking for something fun, original, and oooh bonus, suspenseful, put this on.

Shutter Island
(2010)

Boring
I will admit, for the first hour I was riveted. Not because I didn't know what was going on, sorry this movie is predictable. No, I was riveted by the atmosphere of this darkened, storm-secluded island, cold and windy and ripe for something suspicious (similar to the Ring's Moesko Island) and Leonardo Dicapro working his crafted Boston accent. Little quirky behaviors and denial to cooperate do well to induce paranoia.

Unfortunately Ben Kingsley has been in so much cheese these days that his appearance gave me a red flag instantly and it's all down-hill shortly thereafter. Sub-plots that are meant to distract you from the truth are poorly written and acted to the point where you really don't believe them anyway.

This movie has too much going on and goes on for so long that by the time you're done putting up with it all "the truth" just leaves you feeling cheated. And trust me, we've seen this kind of "truth" in other movies before. The men on either side of me in the theater fell asleep and I felt genuinely guilty for dragging my boyfriend to see it. Don't waste your money.

The Amityville Horror
(2005)

you and your crazy family
After going home from the theater disappointed, and often angry after seeing crap movies like White Noise, The Ring 2, and The Grudge, I cannot express how happy I was exiting Amityville. I'm not going to sit here and throw around the directors name like I know him, and who cares about the actors' previous work. Take the movie for what it is, forget it's a remake, it's a damn scary movie. Most of the "scary movie" conventions I've grown used to, this movie uses against you. For example, you've seen the old predictable bathroom scene (this example isn't actually in the movie) "Someone's in the tub, someone's in the tub" but unlike the convention, when the shower curtain is drawn, HA! fooled ya, there's no one there. But it uses that slight bit of tension it's built and directs it to the demon that's hangin' out outside the door that you didn't know was there (Somewhat like the "Raptor Speech" in Jurassic Park). Conventional ghosts at least wait until you're done having sex before saying "hi". I've never screamed in a movie theater until this movie. All I have to say is babysitter in the closet scene. Just sit down and enjoy the movie.

White Noise
(2005)

As Grandmaster Flash might say "White Noise......DON'T DO IT!"
***CONTAINS SPOILERS*** I didn't think it was possible to get angry with a movie...then I saw White Noise and became aware of the fact that yes, yes you can. Sigh, where do I begin with this heap? Sure it starts out fine, you jump, you scream (aloud even), and you get interested, and make a point to put a check mark in your mind next to all the "hmmm, what was that about?"'s, and the "oh that was strange"'s that show up in this movie. Usually you are rewarded for your diligence at the end when all is explained...well, don't waste your time, the explanation never comes. I think Michael Keaton's disembodied voice should have apologized to the audience instead of the kid. The wellspring of my detest for this movie? The Three Shadowy Stooges. They are the villains, they wanna do some damage, they have horrible singing voices, the plot circles around them, they are the key to this all!!! WHO ARE THEY?.....ah...it's not important, maybe the DVD will explain that in an alternate ending, but for now, the movie doesn't think you need to know. Michael Keaton, you've directed the odd piece, why didn't you stop this! Now and forever any movie that might have actually have been good to deal with this subject will be marred by this bit of ectoplasm.

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