sethmlanders

IMDb member since March 2012
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Reviews

Infowars Nightly News with Alex Jones
(2011)

The Ultimate Red Pill Experience!
Forget everything you've been led to believe on mainstream media, most of it is lies and propaganda. Enter Alex Jones, a truth-seeker that many deem to be a "conspiracy theorist" due exposing the public to our society and corruption in the world. He covers issues that CNN, FOX News, and MSNBC wouldn't have the courage to talk about.

Alex has opened my eyes to the world and this evil that lurks in the shadows who control our world known as the globalist elites. He is our last hope and tells it like it is. How else do you explain the fact that he predicted 9/11 just two months before the attacks? This show is the ultimate red pill and I advise people to turn to alternative independent media to get the real side of the story. You are the resistance!

Keanu
(2016)

Very Disappointing
I was never an avid or regular viewer of the Key & Peele show but from the clips I saw, they were really funny. After watching the trailers for this new movie, it looked pretty funny. Big cast, a couple shootouts, some good jokes.

Sadly, most of the movie was very dark while not being that funny. There were a lot of violent scenes that were too graphic for what was supposed to be a comedy. I was expecting a Pineapple Express or Hot Fuzz kind of movie but was disappointed by the final product. A lot of the scenes don't go anywhere and the writing could have been better.

I have no issues with mindless goofy comedies but this didn't work. The story is all over the place that it doesn't work as a full movie. The concept would have worked better as a sketch on their show. Oh well, better luck next time!

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
(2011)

Bucky Larson: Born to Suck!
I'm a huge fan of Adam Sandler's films and for the most part, I like Nick Swardson. However, this was very bad. I don't have anything against movies with sexual content or gross out stuff, it just has to be funny. After watching this, I know that Nick Swardson was NOT born to be a lead.

He gives us a semi creepy performance and all the jokes fall apart fast. For example, he says "Miles is getting an eight ball, I don't wanna play pool" or something like that. Just stuff that makes you cringe. The whole movie lacks an actual story, it's just a bunch of bad penis jokes and "point and laugh at the freak" jokes as well. A lot of great actors wasted (Christina Ricci, Mike O'Connell, Don Johnson) and the humor doesn't work here. It tries too hard to mix sentimental and mean-spirited stuff, which both fail. When Bucky gets a roommate, the dude (Kevin Nealon) is such a jerk that you wish he hung himself and left the poor guy alone.

The entire film is predictable and Stephen Dorff looks like Bret Michaels, which isn't a good thing. I smiled several times but didn't laugh at all. I don't understand why they couldn't put more effort into it. Making Bucky into a wimp who can't even perform correctly in these adult movies just shows you the thought that went into making it. Skip this one, you'll be glad you did!

Spanglish
(2004)

6.5 is being way too generous!
So much is wrong with this movie and I don't blame the cast because they all did a good job, it's the script that bothers me. Going into this, I expected it to be one of those non-formula Sandler pictures (no fart jokes, frequent outbursts, Rob Schneider, etc.) and what I got instead was a convoluted mess with a terrible ending. I have no issues with the guy doing dramatic roles but this didn't work in the slightest. Plus, the algorithm is messed up. Why is this turd of a film rated a 6.5???!!

Adam Sandler plays a chef at a restaurant and his wife is an absolute psychopath. I'm not trying to be harsh but her character is a gold digging mooch of a whore. If I was in his shoes, I would have dumped the bitch around the 80-90 minute mark. This Paz Vega is gorgeous and she gives a decent performance.

What I didn't like about this is how overlong it is and how things don't get resolved. I'm not saying make the movie short or resolve everything, but at least put more effort into it than this. You're praying that Sandler finally kicks out his ditsy wife and gets with Vega but that never happens. The biggest issue with Adam Sandler's character in this movie is that he's too much of a coward. There's a scene where he yells, "I QUIT THIS JOB TOO!" and yet does nothing about it. I'm trying not to spoil anything but the ending was so frustrating that I asked myself why I wasted two hours of my life on this junk.

Avoid this garbage, this gets a 4 out of 10.

The Happening
(2008)

Worse than you can possibly imagine...
Okay, so it's not Shyamalan's worst film but it comes pretty close. Mark Wahlberg is very talented but he looks confused most of the time. The plot is about some sort of wind that makes people do crazy things. On certain sources, this was labeled as a horror. While the trailers appear that way, there is nothing scary about it at all. I never felt frightened or at the edge of my seat, it's wind and plants for heaven's sake!

The first five minutes had serious potential but then it went completely downhill. I could not take any of the dialogue seriously. There's nothing wrong with campy horror movies but there's no satire or humor for it to be considered that. It just gets ridiculous with a moronic anti-climatic ending that I won't give away because it's not worth explaining. Avoid this movie, I want my time and brain cells back.

Grand Theft Auto IV
(2008)

Incredible
This is undeniably one of the best GTA games of all time. I have the complete edition, which includes episodes from Liberty City and I recommend you get that copy for the full experience. The game is set loosely in New York City. You play as a Russian immigrant named Niko Bellic who comes to America with dreams of hope.

There is a lot of driving and shoot-outs but that's what you expect from this kind of game. The controls are smooth and the cover system is flawless. You'll easily get distracted with other stuff, such as visiting famous landmarks, going to strip clubs, pulling off dangerous car stunts, and so much more. This open world setting is innovative and Rockstar keeps improving upon every game they subsequently make.

Such an incredible game that is nearly perfect. They've also updated the wanted system and you now use a cell phone for missions. This is a great game that's worth your time!

iCarly
(2007)

Horrendous!
The only reason this show got made is because some brilliant (sarcasm) producer thought that Megan from Drake & Josh deserved her own show. I know I'm not the target demographic for this series but seriously! There is nothing redeemable about this show. No interesting characters, no funny jokes, no consistency.

I think Miranda Cosgrove is a wonderful actress, she's been in some great work like School of Rock but this is a terrible show. I'm a fan of the Amanda Show and Drake & Josh, but there is nothing special about this one. I get it, it's for younger girls yet I felt empty and stupid for having seen this. I've watched enough episodes to know how bad it is. Do yourself a favor and avoid it like the flu, it's a boring piece of junk!

13 Going on 30
(2004)

Great movie!
What if you made a mistake that you wish you could take back and change? That question is explored in 13 Going on 30.

The movie is about a young girl named Jenna who wishes she was 30 and it comes true. She wakes up in a New York City apartment and finds out that she works for a magazine company. When she visits her old friend, Matt, things have changed. He's engaged and hasn't seen her since high school. Jenna goes on a journey to figure out her life and who she truly. I won't elaborate anymore on the plot because I don't want to spoil anything.

I praise the casting. Jennifer Garner was fabulous in the role, which added a lot of charm to the performance. It's the chick flick equivalent of Big with Tom Hanks. This fantasy movie is enjoyable throughout and put a huge smile on my face. I got the DVD as a present and I thank my mother for getting it for me because this was a great movie. If you have 90 minutes to spare and you like the movie Big, then this is for you!

The Simpsons
(1989)

Who cares if the newer episode aren't as good?!
There's a lot of hate coming from people on this site, giving the show 1 star by complaining about the newer episodes. Let's look at The Simpsons as a whole, rather than focusing on certain seasons.

The characters are diverse, the writing is smart, and the satire is golden. You have a whole universe within the show of Springfield residents and mayhem that goes on. Within each episode, something happens that changes everything (Homer gets a pet monkey, Bart accidentally burns down the Christmas tree, etc.) and at the end, they have to resolve it. It paints a picture of upper middle class American families and how they deal with everyday situations. A lot goes on in Springfield and some of my favorites are voiced by Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer.

Overall, The Simpsons is great entertainment that is family-friendly for the most part. There's a lot to like about this show and try to focus on it as a whole series because let's admit the newer episodes aren't as good but that doesn't stop it from being an amazing show!

I Love New York
(2007)

I Hate New York!
I remember watching this show when I was 13 or 14 and just being disgusted by it. These shows are just an excuse for the host to make out with a bunch of random people. The only good thing about it was Mr. Boston, he's the McLovin of reality TV!

This New York woman is obnoxious, narcissistic, and believes that everything must revolve around her. Therefore, we should like the show. I'm sorry, I am not buying into this. I wasn't fan or Rock of Love or Flavor of Love, so I guess I'm not the demographic target audience.

What else can I say this? This is a bad spin-off that misses the mark when it comes to romance. I don't know what so many of these contestants find so attractive about her. She puts on more makeup then a fashion model and she is so obsessed with attempting to be hottest thing since Halle Berry. Don't destroy your brain cells by watching this garbage, avoid at all costs!

The Sandlot
(1993)

You don't have to like sports to like this movie!
I've never been a big fan of sports but I like this movie a lot. This is a film with a lot of heart. It's about a kid named Scottie Smalls who moves into a new town and has a hard time fitting in. He bumps into a group of his peers playing baseball and decides to join them. Through this experience over the summer, he befriends the leader of this group named Benny who has sympathy for him from the start. Smalls also meets an overweight goof-ball (Ham), a dorky kid who has the hots for a lifeguard, and others. At first, they don't like him but as their friendship is put to the test, they all form a bond that has a great payoff.

One day, they run out of baseballs and need a new one. Smalls decides to steal his stepfather's ball that was autographed by Babe Ruth. They use it and it goes over the fence where a supposed dangerous dog lives. So the gang decides to find ways to get it back. I won't spoil anything but it's really good.

Growing up, a lot of us have had friends like the characters in this movie. It feels authentic and believable. The dialogue is also very quotable. Who can forget "You're killing me smalls"? The Sandlot is a classic movie that's great for the whole family!

The Heat
(2013)

You can't be serious!
Let me begin this review by saying that I like Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. Both are talented actresses and McCarthy can be extremely funny. Not here. I had a movie night with my parental figure and he picked this film out. For me, I thought it'd be harmless fun. A silly buddy cop movie, how can you go wrong?

Firstly, the drug bust scene was incredibly forced. If you look at a good movie like 21 Jump Street, the drug bust sequence had tension and humor where we really cared about the characters. Secondly, Melissa McCarthy is so obnoxious in this movie that I didn't want to see anymore of her on the screen. I'd rather hear the sound of a cat scratching on a chalkboard for 2 hours straight than to sit through this again. Finally, The laughs were absent, I didn't laugh once throughout this piece of garbage. Nothing redeemable, nothing interesting, nothing happening, nothing funny.

The whole movie is a mess and the story is absurd. I don't mind buddy cop pictures or mindless popcorn flicks but this is just terrible. This was one of the most frustrating movies I've ever seen. I'm surprised this got green-lit. Did anyone read the script before production began?! Do yourself favor and avoid this mess of a film. Save yourself the grief, time, and money because it's NOT worth it!

The Simpsons: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
(1997)
Episode 1, Season 9

Classic Simpsons!
This is a really funny episode, one of the better ones in the series. To summarize it, Barney ends up being the designated driver at Moe's Bar since there's complaints about drunk driving traffic collisions. Barney takes Homer and his pals home but forgets to bring the car back. We realize that Barney has Homer's car. He doesn't hear anything until Barney gets back one day and tells Homer that he forgot what happened. Lisa goes through the mail and finds out that it's parked in New York City.

Homer had a bad experience when he was younger and is reluctant to go. After Marge and the kids convince him, he decides to go. They take the bus there and havoc ensues. There are a bunch of parking tickets and a boot attached to one of the wheels. I won't spoil the rest of the episode but it's great. If you're a Simpsons fan, it's worth watching!

The Simpsons: All Singing, All Dancing
(1998)
Episode 11, Season 9

Horrible!
I'm a big fan of The Simpsons but this is pathetic. The whole episode is a bunch of random music numbers. Also, it's rated TV-G which is a rare occurrence for the show. The words to these songs were so predictable and cheesy beyond belief.

The only funny part was when they sang "In A Gadda Da Vida" in the church, I thought that was clever. It keeps transitioning from one scene to another out of nowhere and the songs are just terrible.

Seriously, this is The Simpsons and they deserve better than this. How can you screw up a Simpsons episode this bad? They weren't even trying. It's truly unbelievable. What a disappointment!

Punch-Drunk Love
(2002)

Adam Sandler like you've never seen him before!
If you're expecting a gross-out goofy comedy, look somewhere else. This is one of the rare occasions where Adam Sandler has a serious role. I'm not the biggest fan of PT Anderson (I was disappointed by Boogie Nights) but I liked this movie.

Adam Sandler plays a man named Barry Egan who works in a warehouse. He has problems with social skills, I suspect it's Aspergers or something. Anyway, he calls a phone sex hot-line and the people who run it end up extorting money from him after he gives out his credit card information. Constantly, he is irritated by his sisters who give him a hard time and ends up falling for a girl. Along the way, we see who this character really is and how his temper has a short fuse.

It's fascinating to see this performance from Sandler, rather than the usual immature man-child that he plays so often. Quite weird of a movie but I ended up enjoying it!

Last Man Standing
(1996)

Last Man Watching!
I like Bruce Willis and I like Walter Hill but this is just horrible. After watching this, I had no idea what this movie was about. Nothing happens at all. Some shoot-outs, some dialogue, more shoot-outs, repeat! Zero tension, zero character development, zero plot.

I was hoping for something spectacular to happen and find something to move me but they threw every action cliché in this script. The more I was watching, the more I wanted it to end. It's not the worst movie ever made but it's pretty bad.

My parental figure showed it to me at a movie night and I went in with an open mind. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed and felt empty throughout my experience with this film. Try to avoid this one and save two hours of your life!

Joe Dirt
(2001)

Horrible, Below Average Film!
David Spade can be very funny and I was surprised to learn that Adam Sandler was attached to this project as a producer. This could have been really good. Instead, it fails on nearly every level and is a complete mess.

The story is all over the place and this Joe Dirt character is a moron and NOT the kind you root for or care about. It goes for cheap laughs by using poop and testicles just for the sake of it. Kid Rock was obviously desperate for a paycheck, because his performance is terrible in this! It's not the worst thing I've ever seen but it's pretty disappointing. I laughed two, maybe three times, so it's not enough to recommend it.

First it's dumb, then it's stupid, then it's super offensive, and then it just gives up halfway through. As a two minute SNL skit, this might have worked but as a full length feature film, it lacks any substance. Skip Joe Dirt and save those precious 91 minutes of your life!

The Dilemma
(2011)

Great Premise, Horrible Execution!
Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are best friends who are both in relationships. However, one of their partners is cheating on them and the other guy finds out. The idea for this had so much potential, I think Vince Vaughn can be very funny and that Ron Howard is a talented director but what in the heck were they thinking?!

This movie takes a very dark turn even though it was marketed as a silly comedy. The jokes are lacking and the writing is terrible. The "cars are gay" speech was the most painful monologue I've heard in a long time and forced beyond belief. Queen Latifah is a decent actress but her performance is embarrassing here and none of her innuendos are clever. She just brings the plot to a screeching halt. The decisions that these characters make are beyond ridiculous and don't make any sense. Winona Ryder's character had some of the worst motivations I've seen in a long time.

It can't decide whether it wants to be a comedy or drama. The serious moments fail and this movie is an absolute mess. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen but it's pretty bad. I have no idea why Ron Howard thought this script was the next best thing. You know what? I don't think it even had a script, come to think of it. This movie is not worth your time or money. Two hours of my life, gone forever!

(500) Days of Summer
(2009)

Fascinating!
I heard so much positive things about this movie that I never got around to it until the trailers made me wanna see it. Out of curiosity, I bought a DVD copy and it was worth my $3! This movie was fascinating from beginning to end.

It's about a man who falls in love with his co-worker and things seem wonderful but everything abruptly changes. That's as far as I'll go with discussing the plot, because I don't wanna spoil anything. Let's just say that it was an unpredictable and hypnotic experience.

Here are the good things about it. Joseph Gordon Levitt is perfectly cast and has a great screen presence. The writing is witty and quirky, which I really thought was a smart move for the filmmakers. Webb (the director) has a precise vision and you could see it in every frame. One last thing, don't expect this to be a laugh-out-loud comedy or else you will be easily disappointed by it. There are a couple chuckles here and there but it's not one of those raunchy, crude humored sort of movie.

If you go in with an open mind and don't expect a hilarious comedy, you'll really enjoy it for what it is.

Call of Juarez: The Cartel
(2011)

Terrible!
I'm a huge fan of shooter games (anything Rockstar, Stranglehold, Call of Duty 3, The Uncharted series, etc.) so I was excited when I heard positive things about its predecessor. I was absolutely disappointed the moment I pressed the start button.

The character development was non-existent, the plot was ridiculous, and the game-play was extremely annoying. There was a level where you have to move drugs from one car to another. You can't shoot anyone while holding items and every single flipping time I did this part, I ALWAYS ended up dying. I was stuck on this mission forever. When playing, in general, it felt as if I was a lab rat trapped in a universe that you can't even explore or get some fresh air. I don't have a problem with linear games but this was poorly executed.

Immediately after dying for 50th time in a row, I went to Gamestop sold it for store credit. Those $10 I paid for it were not worth it. Do yourself a favor and avoid this game!

The Godfather
(1972)

Watch it twice!
I wasn't too impressed by this film the first time I saw it. However, it got better the more I saw it. A movie like this would be impossible to make today. Francis Ford Coppola is a marvelous director and loves his characters in order to get authentic performances out of them.

The violence is brutal, the script is superb, and the soundtrack is incredible. Everyone involved should be proud at what they accomplished. I never read the book but fans say it's a faithful adaptation. Goodfellas is a mobster film I like slightly more but The Godfather is still a cinematic achievement. I know some people are going to get on my case for not calling it the best movie ever made in the history of mankind, but I'm not denying that it's a good movie.

Just watch it more than once to enjoy it for what it is and you'll love it like I did!

Family Guy
(1999)

Imagine a Cruder Yet Funnier Version of The Simpsons
Family Guy is extremely entertaining. The characters are memorable and the situations they get into make it a lot more enjoyable. The Simpsons, while it is a good show, never takes any risks with their sexual humor. It's always family friendly and I can respect. Family Guy, on the other hand, isn't afraid to make crude sex jokes or use harsher language. Those cutaway jokes may be random but the punchlines are either hilarious and/or accurate.

Seth MacFarlane takes that format and structure of the Simpsons (a middle class dysfunctional family living in suburbia with a dimwitted father/husband) then tweaks it around in his own unique way. For the most part, it works to his advantage. Every episode, there's an issue that must dealt with or resolved around the 15-20 minute mark. This is executed well and the characters always learn something when it's all over.

Sometimes the gags with Meg are vicious and mean-spirited, but that's one problem I have it with. Other than that one note joke, everything else is wonderful. MacFarlane does a superb job at creating satire in his humor and wit. Binge watch on Netflix and you'll see what makes it such a successful adult animation comedy!

The Princess Bride
(1987)

An Amazing Film!
This is the kind of movie that can appeal to anyone of all ages. It has romance, adventure, drama, comedy, and somehow, it succeeds at every aspect. Rob Reiner is a talented actor's director who cares a lot about the story and his characters.

The story is about a boy who is sick and his grandpa reads him a book. It transitions from what we visually see as Peter Falk narrates. Wesley is a charming yet poor farm-boy who falls in love with a woman who is engaged to the wrong man. The girl, Buttercup, is engaged to a egotistical royalty prince (Humperdink). Along the way, we run into some quirky characters that somehow win our affection from the beginning. A giant and a Spanyard, Inigo Montoya, who eventually work with Wesley to stop Buttercup's wedding from happening.

Overall, a very magical experience that still holds up to this day. I loved it as a kid and I love it even more in my young adult years. This is one film that you can show your date or family. Watch this movie as you wish!

Shallow Hal
(2001)

Not even close to being as bad as you are led to believe!
From the posters and trailers, you'd expect the Farrelly Brothers to be crude and offensive with this kind of material but it really isn't. It has a much deeper message than it appears. It knows when to be funny and knows when to be serious. Why so many people disliked it and why critics panned it is totally beyond me!

The movie is about a man named Hal, played by Jack Black, who judges women based on their looks. He keeps failing at it and his attractive neighbor, Jill, even turns him down after he begs her to go out with him. The next day at his job, he's bummed that he didn't get that big promotion and happens to bump into Tony Robbins in the elevator while leaving his work. They get stuck in the elevator and Hal explains him his love life. Robbins then puts a spell on him to see the inner beauty in women so that he can judge a woman based on her personality. Suddenly, things starts to change for Hal. His best friend Mauricio (played by Jason Alexander) notices Hal's fresh new standards with his taste in women and doesn't like it one bit. Hal then begins dating a woman who is overweight named Rosemary, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. He sees her as a beautiful, petite woman and they hit it off. Mauricio, who is much more picky with women and more shallow than Hal, can't believe it.

That's the plot for you and I won't spoil anything, but let's just say that the story is predictable and the characters are memorable. I can't give the cast enough credit for doing such a wonderful job and it's interesting to see Jack Black like you've never seen him before, departing from his usual slacker/stoner role that he's given. Shallow Hal is a movie with a lot of brains and heart to it, as well as a great date movie. There's more to this movie than it appears, so watch it before you say negative things about it and you may be surprised!

Jersey Shore
(2009)

Repulsive!
I remember my youngest brother and people I knew quoting this show all the freaking time. "That's the situation" or whatever. So out of foolish curiosity, I decided to watch it. As I viewed the show, I could feel my brain cells diminish. The show was stupid and I mean like incredibly stupid. I don't mind people arguing on television shows, as long as there is a point and/or it's interesting to hear them disagree on something. That's not the case. None and I mean NONE of the cast I was able to like or relate to. What has happened to television, seriously? This show fails on every level and after watching one entire episode of it, I'm never going to watch it again. It's a repulsive piece of garbage and deserves to be canceled immediately.

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