Sailinship

IMDb member since April 2004
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    15 years

Reviews

The Art of Self-Defense
(2019)

More nonsense to convince some people to be even more defenseless than they already are.
The only idiots who would watch this and enjoy it are those who really need to make fun of those who are stronger than them. Strong people would never watch this. They would watch something that was funny. Funny is what people watch when they want to laugh. Millennials are laughed at, they are weak. They must learn to laugh at themselves. To laugh at oneself is to laugh at weakness itself. This movie is weak, it does not know how to laugh, not even at itself, which, as previously stated already, is to laugh at wakness itself. This movie is wack, and weak.

Star Trek: Discovery
(2017)

Please do what I did, write CBS to get this canceled.
I didn't go into the details too much, and I admit, I did go over the top a bit with attacks against the current millennial culture of antifa and SJW, yes, I know that not all millennials support that stuff. But so did they with this show. The propaganda is so thick it's hard to watch the show. This is not Star Trek. This is what I wrote CBS.

Your version of Star Trek is horrible. Instead of being the one positive future in a sci fi world inundated with hopelessness your version of Star Tek is a miserable future full of war and people who are extremely unpleasant, undisciplined and chaotic. I began the first episode with all my friends as excited as could be, and from the very beginning it was questionable, soon to become unwatchable. Your show will go down as the first Star Trek where the participants will be boo'd at conventions, if they are even invited. Please, please, please stop now.

And don't think we missed all of the constant and over the top political B.S. I'm an atheist who is not racist, nor a homophobic however, I also don't buy into all the hatred towards our country or the Christian white male. A black woman with short hair named "Michael", two of the main officers not only gay, which is fine, but in a relationship together? So, not only do I have to deal with a relationship, but a gay one? Why would you think it's a good idea to make two of the main crew in a relationship? Something that has never been done before in any ST show. The only reason I could see is to push gay men in people's face, and I personally don't watch gay relationship t.v. shows or for that matter any relationship shows. The klingons are so over the top a sign of your dislike for Trump supporters, that it became impossible to see them as anything else but a propaganda attempt. Those are not Klingons, and your Star Trek people are NOT Federation representatives. A red head with learning disabilities, a coward alien with the ability to detect death (or better stated, the ability to tell millennials to get off their phones because a tense action moment is about to occur), two officers in a relationship (one of whom is just unimaginably annoyingly) a captain (the only ?straight? white male) who is obviously going to be shown as having a black soul and is evil (as are all white straight males to the people making this I'm sure). It's like a cast of misfits, I get it, the Star Trek where people get in just cuz, not because they have ability or deserve their positions due to merit. This show sucks, I hate it, and I will continue to bag it on every media forum, Facebook and anywhere else I can. It didn't get better, it continued to make no sense. A Frakking mutineer? That's the main character I"m supposed to be fond of? Someone who attacked a Klingon in space, killing him with no weapon other than his own (idiotic moment in the show) and is obviously there to placate idiot millennials who see antifa as heroes and not the useful idiot thugs they truly are. Attack first? Really? That's the officer I'm supposed to care about. Michael should die horribly for her crimes, she got her captain killed and is a chaotic mess. Your show sucks, please stop it now before the full force of the star trek fans begin some official protest against STD Star Trek Diversity. And tell Jason Isaac that his comments about destroying the star trek of Kirk and Picard, not Janeway and Sisko of course because they aren't straight white males, did not go unnoticed. I wont ever watch a movie that idiot is in again. How can you let someone bash the History of ST like that? You should have fired that guy immediately after he said that. But of course, the present millennial condition of lack of historical education leads them to attempt changing anything in the past that might seem like bullying or simply doesn't reflect who they are or rather, who they "identify" as. I would like an apology for this treatment CBS, and please know that until you can fix this horrible horrible mistake by putting out a new Star Trek I will boycott anything y'all do.

BTW, like so many of us, I would have paid for CBS all access just to watch STD (didn't anybody recognize that we use acronyms when referring to the different ST shows?)

MIRROR UNIVERSE? Don't care. Even if this does turn out to be in the Mirror Universe, I don't care. I really don't care. It sucks too bad to have Star Trek's name anywhere on this show. I don't want to watch one of the few positive future Sci Fi shows turned into a miserable, horrible dark future where everyone sucks at what they do and nobody can be relied upon.

Daredevil: Daredevil
(2015)
Episode 13, Season 1

I agree, top notch effort from Marvel & Netflix
Folks, this is the real deal, this ain't that garbage movie they did. The main cast is phenomenal, the writing is top notch, the fighting, oh man, the fighting is....It's not that I don't love martial arts movies, I do, but it's nice to see people fight with some hint of unnatural advantage without it getting so over the top that it stops making sense and thus stops being interesting. The fights in DD are believable. The opponents hurt each other and the fights last as long as you might expect them to. The Way they are shot is very interesting as well. People behind the cameras are often too scared to pan out and just show them fighting, and although that isn't a constant on the show, when they do it, it's fantastic. Dark, brutal and life threatening.

One thing you should know is that I'm a DD comic book collector and fan. I have an almost full run of the series, and the Miller stuff changed the way I looked at comics forever. His silhouette jumping/fighting DD changed the Marvel Universe. So, the movies, directed by Mark Steven Johnson, hurt me. It just hurt. This series, elevates.

To the series creators, please continue with the excellent job you've done of introducing us the characters at this moment in the beginning of Daredevils fight for right. Please keep the pace you've created and don't forget to make him evolve and grow as a super-hero and a man. What you are creating may very well be exactly what Mr. Matt Murdock is supposed to be, one of the Marvel Universe's leaders in the fight for justice. I expect this show to lead this particular DD into the movies to stand along the Avengers, Spider-Man, FF, the X-Men and all the other top tier characters. Good job! P.S. Deborah Ann Woll, OUCH!!!!!! HOT!!!! And a hell of an actress. Vincent D'Onofrio, HOLY MOLLY is he a nemesis, none of that unbelievable bad accent ?villain? in tights, this mo fo scares me. Charlie Cox is a natural born hero with all the charisma and conflict needed to play this role and Elden Henson is his friend, NOT a sidekick, he is a human being with the chops to pull off having his own story. All of them, great choices, great jobs so far.

I promised myself I would stay alive long enough to see my stories, my my comics, our American Mythos on the big scree after I saw the beginning of it with Tim Burton's Batman and now...I can die. Thank you.

Continuum
(2012)

This is a cop show, not sci-fi, not smart, boring, typical. Speak up sci-fi fans or we'll get more of this.
I'm only writing this review because I want the execs and writers to hear the voice of a Sci-Fi fan. This show sucks. It's another drama/cop show with boring plots. All the stories I've watched so far play out just like every cop drama and I HATE cop dramas, I don't hate cops, just the way they are portrayed on Television, and that includes detectives in CSI and all that other baloney. They never get to the heart of how complicated most cases and people are. And this show suffers from that as well. It's an hour long episode of people bickering, little lies, confrontations that rarely ever end in any form of real resolution.

As far as the plot holes, here's one, it's supposed to be sci-fi but there isn't any. Having a few gadgets does not make it sci-fi.

And there are so many of these shows, Defiance, The 100, Falling skies, Revolution, and more I'm sure. They all build there stories upon conflicts that are rooted in the characters having poor logic skills or poor lines of communication. Then there's the constant gun play, so many shoot outs, with so little resolution.

You know what made Star Trek so great? They found ways to tell stories that didn't revolve around people arguing. Sure, some of the episodes were more boring than others, but not as boring as watching fake gun battles.

Please, if you're reading this and you're a writer or a T.V. exec, just know that this kind of schlock has go to stop.

Riese
(2009)

NOT STEAMPUNK! Super lame writing. Bad Bad Bad.
First of all, I'd like to say that I watched 7 eps. before writing this review and tried to like it. I was hopeful.

My opinion. This show is garbage, it has no redeeming qualities at all what so ever. THE LOOK!?! It's horrible, in one scene they have thin sheets of paper as walls and these 3 to 4 foot gear silhouettes showing through. No reason why the gears would be there in this world, the only reason they are there is to try to cash in on "Steampunk" which is obviously something they don't understand. The look is mostly the same as any fantasy show with a low budget. Absolutely no interesting tech., no innovation as far as costumes, truthfully if someone showed up at a steampunk event in just about any of these outfits they would likely be met with a whole lot of meh and/or confusion. As far as the sets go, again, they are recycled fantasy sets with nothing worth seeing. Ever. Not one thing.

The worst part of the show is how foolish the characters act. I'm watching it and thinking to myself "nobody would do these things. Why are they doing these things?" And then I realize they are making these stupid actions because the writing is horrible. When actors have to do things that no real person would do they lose the ability to be convincing actors. Stiff would be the description of the characters, and it's not simply due to bad acting, again, the writing is trite and ridiculous. I hated it and I hate the people who made it for trying to cash in on steampunk.

Happy-Go-Lucky
(2008)

I was so shocked by it's originality and daring that I couldn't stop watching.
Most movies suck, let's face it that's a fact.

Because of that fact I wanted to write this one off as another boring indie film trying to drive a message home without using the same old tired Hollywood tried and true methods but in the end failing due to a lack of originality and ingenuity. But I kept watching waiting for the cheesy moment when this line from the plot synopsis would come to fruition "...whose optimism tends to exasperate those around her." I just kept waiting for the typical climactic moment when the world crumbled down around the main character (Poppy) and she then had to assess her life and make changes. But the movie is better than that and I soon found my finger backed up off of that eject button and myself enjoying just watching the movie. It's a damn good movie and extremely original with authentic characters that you will believe are real people, people you may know. I saw this movie about two weeks ago and I've been thinking about it a lot since then. I feel that there are some deep messages in this movie that are perhaps told in such a happy and non preachy way that I will have to watch the movie again to decide whether or not I missed something. Anyway, I watch a lot of movies and I would say that 90% are unmemorable, but not this one, this is a good movie.

Watching the Detectives
(2007)

A refreshingly original movie that made me happy.
I'm not much of a writer so I'm not sure how to say what I want about this movie. It reminded me of Breakfast at Tiffany's and was a refreshing break from my normal diet of action, Sci-Fi, adventure movies without being to sappy and "family friendly." Although it had it's moments of action and adventure as well, it's mostly a romantic comedy. It was nice to see a love story that didn't devolve to the level of something like "What happens in Vegas." I thought Lucy Liu and Cillian Murphy were both excellent, and as a male I must say that Lucy Liu was unbelievably cute (in a hot way) in this movie. The movies plot is less important than the way the plot evolves, sometimes comedy, sometimes parody, sometimes wacky, sometimes serious. And for those of us who watch a lot of movies, new and old, there are some great nods to classics of the past. What can I say, I was happy, motivated and hopeful after seeing this movie.

Hoodrats 2: Hoodrat Warriors
(2008)

Delicious commentary on Femine Political/sociological ideology in a post 911 world.
I found the commentary on the current North American situation to be quite on point and relevant beyond anything that most "scientific journals" have been printing in the last many years. Although I cannot say that I agree with Lucia's proposed solutions to the problems of sexism and domestic violence, I did agree with her opinions about how to amp up our collapsed economy by revitalizing national pride through the used sporting goods industry. It might have been prudent however if some mention about the environmental impacts of aluminum vs. wood had been discussed in order to assist the public with their purchasing decisions. Personally I find the idea of asthma plagued children being plagued by the noxious smelting process of aluminum enough to make my decision for wood an obvious one. But I digress, back to the film.

One of the most refreshing and original things about this movie is it's underlying theme of refusing to give into the current trend in any film of action to have overly choreographed fight scenes with professional martial artists, wires, assistant stunt men etc. Hoodrats 2 tries to recapture that innocence of raw street fights as seen in movies like "The Warriors", and although it doesn't quite capture that same sort of hyper aggression it does have baseball bat battles in the park.

Another of the pleasantly original stances the movie takes is to free itself from the prevalent idea in the world wide movie industry that woman need to shed their clothes in order to grasp the attention of male viewers. This movie is devoid of such nonsense and instead relies on the issues of feminine grace in a violent world to encapsulate the overall dilemma of how to find one's home in this turbulent post 911 world.

On a more technical level the movie stands up to anything made recently strictly based on the sound effects. In particular, the wind noise made when Lucia does her expertly performed somersault avoidance move when confronted by the chain disarm technique in the battle between the "Hoodrats" & the "Aerobo-psychos" gangs. I for one, while sitting in the theater, felt the exhilaration of a wild fire gust of wind through my hair. Well done and Kudos to the sound man/woman. Although I could go on and on about the pleasures to be found in this movie I must cut my commentary short so as to allow you, the viewer, a chance to find your own path to enlightenment through the subtle commentary and artistic merit of this film. I feel that in order to be fair and not seem too much a sycophant I must end this commentary with a slight negative criticism on the film; I did feel that the words Plesiosaur and bitch might have been used more.

Beyond the Ring
(2008)

Like a bad soap opera. Poor acting, terrible music/score, trite plot, horrible fight scene, total junk.
Too much fake touchy feely stuff including lots of lame flashback scenes, horrible acting (Lima and the son are just pathetic) a plot that is boring, predictable and all around lame, terrible weak score accompanied by bad 80's music that wants to be "the eye of the tiger" and if you get through all of that you'll be rewarded with a horrible final fight scene. If you love fight scenes where a guy lands a big blow to his opponent and then turns his back on him so that he can begin showboating to the crowd while the other guy is getting up and preparing to jump in with his own big blow...Then you'll love the end of this movie. I was hoping that the final battle would make up for the rest of this bad movie, but it was the worst scene of all. They threw a mat on the floor of some dark room put up a work light and started filming. The set looks pathetic, there's a pallet leaning against one wall, a mop bucket visible against another, cardboard boxes laying on the floor...why? To make the scene seem more "underground"? If you have any event where the two participants take away $350,000 your gonna make the place look snazzy and not leave junk like that laying around. Let's just say that the final "set" was horrible and leave it at that. Watching the crowd of spectators keep showing up in this poorly edited finally made me question one thing... Where are they in this scene? I'm not sure they were actually in the same room, from the way the scene is shot it seems that nobody was close enough to the "stage" (mat) to even see the fight. And the fight... Just horrible, It's obvious that "Zulu" isn't even trying, look at his legs in any scene where he's on the ground and you can see that he's not struggling, he's not even moving. And in the end Lima turns his back on Zulu...WHY? Why would a trained fighter do that? This movie is just junk, don't bother.

What Happens in Vegas
(2008)

OMG! This movie is SO funny & you'll never guess the ending!!! It's so original....NOT!
OK, so like the movie starts off all weird with these two total loser people (Ashton and Cameron) who are just wasting their lives in dead end relationships and just going through the motions at work, BUT THEN chance finds them together in Las Vegas and OMG they are like totally not gonna hook up but then they doez. But then they hate each other the next day and they go to like separate but they end up winning a buncha moolah from one of those big old' slot machine thingees. OMG that was such a surprise! And then he (like a jerk) tries to keep it all, but they are totally hitched (married) so he can't and they have to go to court and that old dude, Dennis Miller ( I think he used to run the Tonight Show) is the judge and he says that they have to be married and live together for 6 months which totally makes sense, I think they do stuff like that in New York. And like he (Ashton) steals the toilet seat and the bathroom door and pees in the sink (ewwww) and she (Cameron) like totally tries to get him hooked up with some skanks and they are all hating' on each other. And their friends like hate each other too and the bald guy is like so stupid and the girl wants to hit people in their "junk" (crutch.) But then she like invites his parents over and OMG it's so cute the way he like gets all puppy dog eyes with her and you can totally see they are starting to fall in love and.....Well I totally don't want to ruin the movie but hint, hint, money doesn't mean anything cuz all you need is like love. Awwwww. And how could you not fall in love with either of them she is like so hot and he is like so cute and OMG.......

Ughhhhh, I hope you get the point. This movie sucks and is like totally redundant and derivative. But OMG what great acting.......

The Man Who Came Back
(2008)

The worst kind of REVENGE movie.
I just watched this and I feel sick. This is one of those movies that tries to make itself appear to be a story of good and evil because the bad guys are so bad that you don't mind what evil the good guys do. It represents the worst that humanity can lower itself to and then brings the "hero" down to that level. It is a movie that fuels the fires of hatred and represents revenge as something that is pleasurable, and worse, desirable. It's my opinion that after watching this movie any normal person will be left with either a sick feeling in their stomach or a craving for violence, depending on various factors such as their mood before watching this, company they are in , their propensity to violence etc. . If what happened to the main character happened to me, I would want justice as well, but that is not what this movie is about. This movie is about killing people one by one in strange ways, like the Friday the 13th movies. I really didn't like it.

Resident Evil: Extinction
(2007)

Looked low budget, unbelievable, bad makeup and costumes, good actors but still just lame.
Problems I had with this movie. Mila's face looked weird throughout most of the movie. Too much makeup? Yeah I would say so. The previews showed us this movie that would be placed in Las Vegas and all we get is a lousy small rendition of the strip covered in sand. The first thing I thought was how are they driving these vehicles in sand dunes? If everybody is dead and you have the choice of any vehicle why would you choose those? The whole Vegas scene is lousy. They never go inside a casino, and they spend all of there time fighting a bunch of extras, all dressed in the same overalls and having the same makeup to save money. And exactly how many people/zombies fit in a container of that size? It seemed like there were way too many. Has anybody done a bod count? I felt ripped off by the cheesy Vegas set. The only reason they used Vegas was to save themselves some money by using a bunch of sand dunes as backdrops. Now, the zombies....They sucked, due mainly to the fact that they looked like they all died perfectly. Yeah they had sunken cheeks and gray complexions, but they didn't look like they had been killed by other zombies.They all walked perfectly,there were no zombies that were half bodies, or mutilated in any way. They had no character. As far as the characters in the rest of the movie go, they are lousy. Nobody seems like they have really gone through the trials that would make them survivors in a dead world. If everyone is dead, wouldn't you get as technological as you could? If they have a computer that can send and receive messages wouldn't they also have the ability to get information that would teach them basic survival skills? Like first off visit an army base, a National guard, a gun store a damn wal mart and stock up on everything. Guns, food, batteries, vests, generators, alcohol. Grow hydroponic food? There's no way you couldn't find enough to live on if everyone was wiped out in a month.Everything that was related to the survival of the human race was treated like most movies do these days. Lame. There was no imagination. The clothes looked too perfectly rock star cool. Exactly what a yuppie would wear to go on a "desert excursion" Khaki and olive green. No shirts with bright colors and ads, nothing you see in real desperate situations. Bottom line, it's not a b movie and it's not totally horrible, I enjoyed watching it at first, but I wont be eager to ever see it again and I'll probably wait to see the next one at home.

Fatal Deviation
(1998)

This is a home movie
This is a home movie masquerading as an action movie. I couldn't watch it, but some of you may like it. the quality isn't low budget, it's no budget. I scanned through it and there are scenes where the sound is almost totally gone, and many scenes with really really boring stuff going on in what appears to be vacant cheap apartments. It might have a good story, but I guess I'm too spoiled by professionally made movies. How much more can I say about a movie I couldn't watch? If your a friend of these people you'll probably be slamming the "NOT HELPFUL" button now. I understand that everyone wants to be a movie star, but how the people making this could have deluded themselves that anybody besides friends and neighbors might want to watch this is beyond me.

Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas
(2006)

Fun, inspiring, but not smart
Although I found this movie to be fun and somewhat inspiring, it might make you do that thing you've been wanting to do but haven't, it lacks real smarts. The theories he has are never really talked about in any way that will bring you to new thoughts. He just doesn't come across as a mad scientist/philosopher because he never says anything scientific or philosophical.

It does feel good because it has that angsty virgin thing who gets together with a gorgeous woman because of his ideas, and that is something we can relate to, but it's just not smart. I never heard a simple list of ideas, a rundown of why he is perplexed, a question or a theory. His character has problems to deal with, but they are revealed in one moment and then that scene is forgotten. If that is why he is so perplexed about how to be happy, then it should have been a persistent look on his face, an explanation that is revealed as to why he does things so differently than the rest of us.

This kid in the movie is not weird or even nerdy, he's regular and boring. Even his anger is silly. The one real "crazy" person in the movie, an actor who I hope will find his "reality" one day, is presented in a way that demeans what it is to be truly different. Even the not selling out idea is... Well, just not inspirational. The token gay is silly as well, his coming out comes across as disingenuous and devoid of any feeling.

I did have fun watching it though, and I suspect that that has more to do with the beauty of Olivia Wilde, who is, a stone cold fox. It is hard to watch her in any scene and not question where a woman so beautiful comes from and what exactly makes her so damn good to look at.

BloodRayne II: Deliverance
(2007)

ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE!!! Not one redeeming quality!!!
I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch this, although I would say it was more like a forced coma reaction due to extreme pain. When I woke up I tried to watch it all the way through, but did end up having to fast forward through much of the second half to the end. Mind you, I was still watching it, just in fast forward scan mode.

This isn't a movie, it's a bunch of people, not one of them an actor, walking around posing for the camera and saying things that a moron wrote for them. If the lines were even written at all, maybe they just made them up on the spot. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The worst acting, the worst sets, no action, totally slow paced,no fx, nobody can act.

It's a really low budget cowboy drama disguised as an action/vampire movie. And the disguise is only the box. Before five minutes are up you'll know you made a mistake by pressing the play button.

The Descent
(2005)

I was doubtful from the box cover, but WOW!
I was really creaped out by this movie. It was so much better than I expected. The plot is believable, it could happen. More important than the basic plot though, was the interaction between the characters, the sub plots. The way characters relate to each other, in most horror or action movies these days, is not given enough thought. And so you end up not caring who the "make believe" people are and not caring if they live or die. I fealt that these women had real relationships, not like they just met a day ago to film this. I could tell things about them by the way they spoke to each other. The dialog was very well done, very mature, and very well thought out. The fight scenes were filmed in a way that kept me trying to focus and feeling like I was in the fight myself. The use of color and makeup and costumes, and of course the boogey men, was all really well done. I highly recommend this one.

Brothers in Arms
(2005)

The director and all actors should be strung up and drawn and quartered
And then pulled behind a wagon through a mile of cactus and dropped off a big cliff into a deep ravine full of giant man eating ants.

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

Did anybody else mention the introduction scene for Kansas (Kurap, by far the lamest actor I have ever seen,) where we see three of his cards being a King, Queen and Jack of spades and he then calls out that he has a full house? They're showing us a straight flush and then.....ugghhhh. And the next scene is that horrible sword slashing thing. And then the lady with the dynamite on her belly, who cares? shoot her, it's not like that dynamite is gonna hurt you from that far away. What kind of idiot robs someone by strapping dynamite to yourself and then standing thirty feet away from them?

They're trying to get us to believe that any of this could have happened in the American west of the past, when they can't even get us to believe that any of this could have happened at any time on the planet Earth.

The worst acting

The worst clothing (notice I don't call them costumes, because they didn't even attempt to make period clothing.)

The worst directing

the worst plot, dialogue, scene editing, music etc. HORRIBLE.

DO NOT WATCH, DO NOT WATCH, DO NOT WATCH!!!!!!

I'm going to have to do a months worth of brain teezers just to gain back the IQ points I lost from watching the first quarter of this?

Femme Fatale
(2002)

Hot body CONAN MUSIC. Makes no sense at all.
I have some questions. As I watch this movie I'm going to write this. 1. Why is there a cat in the security area of the theater?

2. Why is the chick with 10 million worth of jewels and gold on so stupid that she lets another woman not only strip her but also cut the gold thread,which obviously can't be fixed, and is the only thing holding her "costume" on?

3. Why is the chick in camouflage wearing the exact same clothes with the exact same hair cut 7 years later? And why is the guy wearing the exact same blood stained tux shirt, I know he just got out of prison, but can't he get another shirt? Wasn't the shirt held as evidence and why wasn't he given a deal to get out of jail early by turning on the people who he was working with?

4.And so he gets out of prison and throws the chick into the truck, without interrogating her or getting any info from her first which really doesn't matter because he sees the real girls photo on a poster across the street. Luckily, even though he just committed a murder he has enough time to see that poster because he's not worried about looking around for cops or witnesses or getting away quick?

5.What world do you live in that you can believe that a woman that hot can be walking down the street in those cameo shorts without every guy on the street totally staring and willing to come to her rescue when those two guys grab her and throw her into a truck? Or at least grab the guys who did it? Are we really suppose to believe that nobody saw anything? Why doesn't Antonio get a picture of them throwing her into the truck?

6.She just happens to meet her twins parents and be taken in to their house and the twin just happens to kill herself and leave a passport and a plane ticket which just happens to get bumped up to first class.

7.Why was Antonia Bandito's character so intent on taking the photos of two women talking outside of a church?

8.Those bad people? It's one bad person and if she's married to the "the richest man in the world" and looks like she does, why can't she just find another bad person to take him out? Although I did like the line "Bad people read papers too."

9. If she wants 10 million and she's married to "the richest man in the world", ever heard of divorce? I hear it pays well.

10. An American French ambassador's wife of the "richest man in the world" doesn't have 24 hour security?

11.They have sex with their clothes on and Ainthony Bentdildo turns out to be a forty second man? I know I'd want to spend a bit more time with her. At least forty five seconds.

12. What kind of professional killer doesn't shoot someone before they throw them over a bridge? Anybody remember the last scenes from the Batman TV show? Holy freaking nude hot chick Batman?

13.OK so why did I have to watch a stupid dream sequence? What's the point of watching a movie where everything that happens is written off as not being of any value? Everything you just watched is all beyond any criticism due to the fact that it's not real? Lame.

14.So two guys just got killed and the photographer isn't trying to get a shot, instead he's trying to get some pussy? Well... that sounds right.

15. What's up with the Conan music?

16. Why Why Why was this made? A big waste of time. Oh, Oh oh I have to add this one, what was the deal with the two gangsters having the guy in their car and him slamming heads and making like he was about to get away and then it just switches into them on the bridge running behind Romajin-Stamos and slapping her head and then throwing her over the bridge? And then shes in the water naked? What was that all about? A way to sell more posters and hand lotion? Was that a landing strip/pinstripe shave on her bush? I prefer a triangle myself, but then I don't sleep with supermodels.

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