cheekyfilm

Italo comedy about a simple burly banana salesman who gets into wacky situations while trying to obtain a license to sell bananas. Everything is over-the-top and Cheesy with a capital 'C' (and the crummy dubbing doesn't help matters). Very uneven movie that halfway kept my attention, made me laugh once or twice with it's cartoonish humor, but also had plenty of annoying moments. The song sequence in the middle, the sound effects, and the repeated 'Joe Blow' joke come to mind as especially awful. Even as background watching this fails for me, it's just so unbearably stupid... but at the same time I can see it having an audience.

The opening credits feature a truly great 70s font and some kinda cheesy music and you know you are in for a good time. Johnny is pulled over by the police and is needlessly harassed and the clichés begin. What happens is mostly unsurprising and the middle of the movie is by far the best stuff, the beginning and end are just so-so.

The story focuses between a rampaging Johnny and a lawforce that is split between wanting justice and just wanting to scalp Johnny before he scalps them. There are some great kills amidst a lot of racism and rape... not for the faint of heart. The best scene here is a scalping, and that kinda says it all.

The Positives: an excellent soundtrack that continuously pumps the jams. A few very funny scenes and some decent laughs throughout. A great cast featuring underground music legends, everyone gives their all, Viggo Mortenson is excellent as a psychotic 'redneck' workin' man.

The Negatives: a wildly incoherent story, with almost no structure, that feels like 15+ minutes were cut from the film leaving it incomplete... except it is supposedly complete. Terrible lighting that alternates between leaving the subjects awash in either neon blue or red, for no reason. It makes 80 minutes seem like 2+ hours.

Conclusion: only check this one out if you are either a fan of bad movies, a Viggo superfan, or both.

Most of this movie is a slog, moving from one poorly paced comedy scene (containing exactly zero laughs) to the next, watching 3 hateable redneck three stooges battle an effeminate redneck hero, his girlfirend, and his sentient Knight Rider truck. It sounds like a lot more fun than it is, trust me. The worst part is the constant bad comedy and the complete lack of positive aspects. The best you can ask for here is a bizarre bar scene with a scantily clad BBW singing to a rowdy crowd, and 10-15 scenes of a monster truck running over a house façade with accompanying explosions. Pretty rough stuff.

So Kathy Griffin (not actually) and Billy Bob Thornton (actually!) play the leads in this small-town biker-zombie total schlock. There are tons of biker chicks, zombies, rednecks, a midget, an evil scientist.... but it's all somehow uninteresting. The zombies are goofy and nonthreatening, the actors all seem bored, and there's no horror to speak of. You'd think it would be easy: zombies vs biker chicks with townspeople caught in the middle. But instead the plot is very thin and hard to follow - overwritten characters with overblown monologues explaining their past, a town of people gone mad, and plenty of biker chick drama, all with a bad 80s guitar cheese soundtrack and maybe the least threatening zombies in movie history.

But the movie comes together to have a "strong" second half with some great goofball/offensive characters all interacting with one another, trying to survive. There are a few memorable scenes, a couple decent special effects, and one or two laughs to be had. For fans of this type of movie, you'll be slightly impressed. For all sane people looking for quality, be sure to avoid.

To echo other reviews here, Lily Pons is the low point of the film. Her overacting and overbearing accent and inflection are insufferable. The comedy and characters surrounding her are much more interesting and memorable. The jokes are hit and miss, but more hit than miss (quite literally, lots of slapstick stuff here). If you can ignore Ms. Pons this is an okay sunday afternoon flick, but good luck...

The story here is too long and drawn-out, clearly aping Tarantino but not understanding what makes his movies watchable. The characters are unbelievable, especially some of the women, who seem like stunt casting. John Hamm is just OK, basically playing a slightly more down-to-earth Don Draper. Chris Hemsworth is just terrible. The plot bounces around and keeps you guessing along the bloated 150-minute runtime, unfortunately the writing is extremely weak and it's all very forgettable... this is a lazy Sunday afternoon movie at best, a gigantic waste of time at worst.

Nic Cage is here doing his usual elderly badass routine, hamming it up on his way to beating and mauling some killer animatronic family fun center mascots. There is barely any set-up here, it just takes you right into the mayhem. The trend of "guys are dumb - women smart" is most of the characterization. Everything is slickly produced, there is a lot of practical effects used, but it just didn't add up to much. I'd rather watch Peter Jackson's Meet the Feebles.

Sadly forgettable beyond the bizarre premise and spectacular ending. Only for diehard fans of the video game series or diehard Cagers.

Utterly terrible and irredeemable... except for the unintentional humor.

Instead of a normal review I'm just gonna rattle off some of the ridiculous crap you'll see in this movie: Elderly Bruce Willis clearly filmed all of his scenes in the span of one weekend, he's very rarely in frame with the person he is observing or talking with, and beyond that he clearly doesn't care even 1%. If you watch this, look forward to seeing Bruce lumbering around the forest with a bored look on his face, like Mr. Magoo minus glasses. Also, he's supposed to be an expert survivalist hiding from villians in the forest but chooses to wear an all red jumpsuit and hide behind a single fern only feet from the enemy multiple times. Neal McDonough is hamming it up constantly and, very distractingly, is clearly wearing lipstick throughout. The rest of the actors aren't much better, cheesy cgi bathed overacting psychopathic characters in a very low budget version of the future - the teleportation device is literally 4 poles in the ground. There is an odd comedy scene in the middle of the movie that is completely out of place and has goofy music Bruce Willis quoting Shakespeare to a skull, just minutes after a brutal murder takes place, it made me feel like I was insane. The opening 15 minutes is so bad I was in tears laughing. The ending is also hilariously abrupt and awful, with dubstep blasting and the word 'APEX' in all caps like this mess was something to be proud of.

The story is vaguely interesting (even though it is stolen from several other, better movies), there are some decent practical gore effects, and it is very memorable due to how terrible it is... those are the positives. Only watch this to laugh at the movie's expense. 1/10 as a movie, 10/10 for the schlock factor.

To spare your time, I'll be brief: this is only worth your time if you are a big fan of the series. My main issue here is they ruin the main conceit by cutting away many times during the movie to a camera that doesn't exist in the world of the movie, often for no good reason. There is also an annoying reliance on jump scares here that even goes beyond what you'd expect, approaching parody levels. The story is half baked and the characters are stock and 2D. Beyond that, are plenty of bad jokes, uniformly bad acting, and a third act that will leave you laughing.

This thing is soulless and barely a movie. Arguably not art. But it still entertains.

All the actors are awful, some of the set pieces are very dumb, the ending is laughably bad, and it is all very forgettable. But I still had lots of laughs watching and would watch another installment. It's competent enough in the technical departments and has a decent enough story to string you along.

Best watched with friends and intoxicants.

I'll start off with the positives: the story is serviceable, especially if you are a big Batman fan. A lot of your favorite heroes and villians are squeezed in (Catwoman, Robin, Riddler, Scarecrow, Joker), and the whole thing flies by at 83-minutes. Stop reading here if that sells you on the film.

I watched this on a 4k blu-ray and was very let down by the quality of animation (there barely is any; anime has more fluid motion), and just the picture quality in general. It's OK, but certainly won't sell any TVs. It just looks like a cable tv show, and the quality of the writing, voice acting, directing all also reflect that quality - this just doesn't feel like a movie. Bizarre adult themes and a flat ending don't help things along.

Only for die-hard batman fans and the people plumbing the depths of the 4k blu-ray catalog.

A solid first half sets you up for a mostly predictable and entirely lesser second half. There is a lot of timeline juggling that seems unnecessary by the end, the villians aren't strong enough, and a lot of characters and plot elements go nowhere. And it feels like a pg-13 movie but then there are bizarre moments of extreme violence, like it's waiting for a TV edit. The direction, acting and script /is/ above average, as are the sfx and gunplay, it just doesn't add up to a great experience.

Watch Lock Stock, Snatch or Revolver instead.. Or check out the French original (this is a remake).

If you're gonna watch any of these movies, stick with the first two. The third was bad and this is worse.

This one starts with a wrap-around that involves a SWAT team infiltrating a cult compound and while it showed promise, like the rest of the movie it fizzles out to a disappointing end. The stories appear in order of descending quality for the most part, the first two stories have the best effects and also make the best use of the VHS conceit. The third short has maybe the worst CGI I've ever seen in a movie - and that says something as I've seen Escape From L. A. and Jaws 3D, making me somewhat of an expert. The fourth story is somewhat interesting but bathed in a weird, needless political allegory, and lacks a satisfying conclusion. The end to the wrap-around is a slap in the face and the cherry on top of this turd.

Why do horror franchises always seem to take a nose dive around part 4?

I wrote out a joke review but figure I'd do this "project" and Perry justice by doing an actual review.

I saw this back in 2003 and didn't get it. I understood what was happening (for the most part) but the humor of the character seemed unrealistic and I didn't understand a lot of what made me come to appreciate it later in life: it is a very bitter movie that delights in the delusional fantasies of a garbagebag-jacket wearing Italian man who wants to become a Hollywood star, no matter the cost. You have to have met someone like this at some point, the word narcissist comes to mind even if I don't think Mr. Caravello exactly fits that bill, a person with supreme confidence in their own lacking abilities. This movie, and the project that surrounds it, is that concept taken to it's final extreme, featuring an utterly talentless man who is convinced of his superstardom in his own head. This is part of a larger prank that has been going on for decades now, so if you find some of this stuff funny, you are in luck.

This is mean humor, and there is a cheesy style to a lot of the bits and characters that may be off-putting to some. To me, this is one of the best comedies of all-time, I can watch it any time.

The title really says it all, this was uneven and messy but has a couple memorable bits and John Cusack doing Ferris Bueller before Ferris Bueller. The one thing I really admired about this movie was the tone: all throughout it's jokey and cartoonish, with plenty of swings-and-misses, borders on parody but keeps a surrealist edge. I wish the writing were stronger and that the characters and jokes had more substance to them. But the burger scene is worth the price of admission alone, and it breezes by, one bit after another. I might revisit someday.

Nick Coppola is excellent as always, very understated here, playing a truffle-hunting hermit. The acting all-around is great and is probably the high point of the film. As you slowly learn about these characters you find what ties them together is their miserably sad backstories. No one here in the truffle industry is normal, they are all somehow jaded or "bent". They are painted as apart from society, is this a real thing? Did the writer/director watch a Vice documentary on truffle hunters and this was the product?

It's competently made (the scenes of grief and the brief moments of music stand out) but there isn't much in the story to latch on here. There needed to be more to the beginning, an intriguing start sort of repeats and folds in on itself before finally just concluding. A movie about cooking and loss and sadness and pigs... The scene at the first high-end restaurant is excellent and the final scenes finally tie everything together and make this one worth watching. Another bizarre one to add to Cage's repertoire.

This one starts off slow but eventually kicks into gear after about about thirty minutes. Plenty of car chases and lunatic cultists. It can be extremely cheesy and is undeniably dated but it somehow hooked me. The lead actors are great while some of the others are.. not so great. It looks and sounds like a made-for-TV movie from the era. Past all the faults I was glad I stayed to watch this one through to the finish, very memorable ending.

Worth a watch if you can look past the cheese, or if you're into that sorta thing.

I think Josh Hartnett is a poor actor, but he's good in the role here, as a sort of naive simple-but-well-meaning super cop. Eckhart is a good foil to him, an explosive yet stoic character that you just can't get a bead on. All the actors are well cast and are directed well. Hilary Swank isn't great, with a terrible accent, but it works somehow. No one actor really stands out, it's a fine ensemble to me.

Where it goes wrong is the plot. It is only incidently related to the Black Dhalia case. It more of an homage to 40s gumshoe crime noir with tons of locales, costumes, throwback accents and slang. It sort of meanders a bit, and is overlong also.

This isn't De Palma's best. I enjoyed the watch but won't be returning.

Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper steal the show in a ridiculous and ubelievable tale about "the youth in decay", this time it's the 80s youth so there is plenty of heavy metal, cutting school, and smoking "dope". The dope dealer is played by Dennis Hopper in an excellently bizarre role. Somehow the unbelievable characters take you from plot point to plot point and make it all work. The acting elevates a b-plot and poor directing.

Special mention goes to the moralizing ex-hippie teacher who is sort of a 'moral guide' overarching the story. His character is so laughably bad it's kind of remarkable. The character made my skin crawl.

.The main issue with this movie is the script. It takes an intriguing premise and makes it into a confusing mess. You're left wondering what is going on, waiting for a twist or wrinkle. The supposed payoff is so lame and low-effort it's embarassing. This needed a rewrite or two to add suspense and a fleshed-out conclusion. As it stands, there are lots of pointless loose ends, useless characters, and Michael Ironside is sadly wasted.

It's mediocre, yet watchable. Cheesy, but not without a couple laughs and surreal story developments. Without any spoilers, I loved the dream sequences and the trailer park scenes and characters. Bill Paxton is out of place here, he doesn't nail the 'normal' version of his character, nor the wild and crazy scenes, either. But he is watchable as always

This is a perfect movie to fall asleep to. Dull but comfy.

I don't want to be overly critical, so I won't. I'll just say that this movie is very amateurish and the writing, editing, cinematography, acting and soundtrack are all lacking in style and substance. This was a waste of money and time and I just feel bad for everyone involved.

All that said, I can see how some people might be entertained by this film. But it would be a very small audience of people that don't care for the technical and aesthetic aspects of a film, and only want to see a 'safe comedy'.

One of the best cast movies that I can remember ever seeing - Brendan Fraiser and Don Cheadle are great, and it was awesome to see Bill Duke again. And thats only the tip of the iceberg of this stellar lineup. The cinematography has an odd look at times, with lots of dutch angles and a weird anamorphic distortion to the edges of the frame. But I found the look of the movie to be a unique throwback style that enhances the film. The story is all over the place with constant double crosses and tons of characters and character names to keep up with, this can lead to some confusion. There are also a few plotholes that are hard to ignore.. That said I had fun following all the twists and turns, and even if it leaves you on a bleak and forgettable note (a very weak ending imo), I'm sure I'll be revisiting this one.

This came out of nowhere for me. The cast alone makes this one of the best movies of the year.

The high ratings here have to be proof of the Dead Internet Theory, I refuse to accept that breathing humans thought this turd was good. Slightly above average visual effects and VERY loud soundtrack and soundeffects can't save one of the worst scripts ever written. I mean holy crap.

The villains are these soccer ball shaped drones that die if you shoot the big bright red spot in the middle - that seems to be a design flaw. Morgan Freeman shows up for no reason. A bad apocalyptic story is spoonfed to you while Tom Cruise beebops around in his space cruiser. You keep waiting for some twist or revelation and you get nothing but the slight hint of a plot wrinkle, one that goes nowhere. All this budget wasted to tell one of the most convoluted and pointless storylines I've come across.

By the end, the movie moves towards some grand conclusion that it hasn't earned, complete with bombastic blasting music and Tom Cruise dropping the f-bomb (no, not that one...) while he heroicly saves the universe. This movie has all the beats and pacing and budget, but there's no heart or substance to latch onto. It's like an A. I. wrote this movie.

This is clearly a movie butchered by studio meddling (look up the backstory if you're interested), but who knows if it would have ever been good in the first place. But me? I like me some schlock, and this does a decent job delivering. Mick Jagger is bizarre - alternating between over and under acting, with some awful direction thrown in, as if the director was afraid or unable to well, direct him. Emilo does his best but is severely underused and under characterized, basically a waste.

A sorta interesting premise and beginning scenes lead nowhere. Anthony Hopkins is shockingly bad here. The high points are the action scenes and the first 30 min, especially the parts that take place in the future.

Check it out if you are massively bored and/or a huge Jagger fan.