matthewmacgyver

Uwe Boll's best Movie. Better than "You Don't Mess with the Zohan". Neither of those statements are saying particularly much, but to say the least, this movie is actually worth watching. Postal is essentially an absurdist farce comprised of characters designed to be caricatures of the worst parts of humanity. Assuming this was not some cosmic coincidence whereby Uwe Boll managed to write and direct a movie that actually entertains it's alleged target audience, I feel confident in saying that this movie actually hits it's mark. Knowing the spirit and tone of the source material, this is actually a pretty decent video game adaptation. The movie is essentially a Bollian journey into Tromaville territory: from the crass socio-political commentary, through the excessive violence, coarse language, gratuitous full frontal Dave Foley nudity, right down to the self deprecating director cameo. It's intentionally offensive to everyone. Despite itself, on some level this movie works. It's weird that I seem to only have good things to say about this movie, seeing as it is not a good movie... but, dare I say, it's not bad either. 5/10

The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - I liked the first entry to this series. About all I can remember of the second one was that it sucked, and it's loose spin off "The Scorpion King" was merely O.K. in a "I get a kick out of Conan-type movies" sort of way. Compared to the first, the Mummy 3 trades off memorability in it's characters for larger action sequences. Being the 3rd entry to this series, this is somewhat forgivable as most of the characters are already developed. The movie still suffers though as it seems as though they have less to do as characters and more to do as props, and this unfortunately also goes for the new characters introduced.

This movie knows what it is, and as such, carries with it a level of self awareness. There is even one scene where the new actress playing Evelyn addresses the audience, almost winking, and says "I'm an entirely different person", poking fun at the obvious point her character has been recast. It was cool seeing Jet Li as the Emperor, and as a villain. But that's really all he was, the villain. Unlike the first Mummy movie, where they treat the mummy as an actual character with identifiable motivations, the movie does very little to develop The Dragon Emperor as anything but the antagonist for the action set pieces. But Jet Li is good, he somehow makes the few scenes he was given work, his villainous sneers and smirks work well in portraying a one-dimensional popcorn villain... I felt the movie would have been much stronger if he had more screen time than his CG counterpart.

The martial arts and sword fighting sequences were filmed in a typically Hollywood style with far too many cuts and closeups. The action would have benefited from pulling the camera back a bit to see more of the action. There are a few points about the plot where you find yourself asking questions that simply can't be answered, but the movie's plot is the kind you're not supposed to think about, but instead are just supposed to sit back, relax, suspend your disbelief, and enjoy the ride. If you are able to do this, there are a few parts in the movie that will have you cheering.

It would have been a lot better if there were 15-20 minutes more character development and exposition, but that would have put the movie over the 2 hour mark, and it's pacing might have suffered, and it's box office definitely would have. As it is, the Mummy 3 hits it's mark as being mass market (barely) digestible popcorn. The movie's story plays as somewhat of a cross between Dragon Wars and Indiana Jones 4, and with respect to quality, it falls somewhere in between... although is admittedly closer to the Indiana Jones 4 end of the spectrum. The movie is what I would call "well made mediocrity". It managed to entertain me. If the Mummy 1 was 8/10, Dragon Wars: D-War was 5/10, Indiana Jones 4 was 6/10, then I would have to peg The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor at 6/10.

The Host is a decent mix of family drama and monster action with a little bit of slapstick comedy thrown in. The comedy comes at times almost entirely from certain characters over-acting. There is one scene in particular, which although I'm sure it was supposed to be a sad scene, I couldn't help but laugh at the exaggerated responses.

I liked this movie. That being said it is definitely overly long. It dragged severely in the after the 1st hour. It could have done with about 30 minutes trimmed from the middle. And although I wasn't a fan of the ending, I can't really think of anything that would have made it better. Overall, the movie is good, but not spectacular.

On my patented scale of 1 to 10, (which excludes sevens and decimals), I'd say this movie is a 6/10. About on par with Emmerich's Godzilla (1998), and Reitman's Evolution (2001).

"Severance" is a quirky movie. The gore is excellent, and overall I found the movie very entertaining. There is a lesson in this movie, not unlike one of the themes of "Hostel". It has to do with the unthinking exploitation of poorer eastern European people; In "Hostel" it was exploitation by rich individuals seeking pleasure, in Severance, it is exploitation by multinational corporations seeking profit.

Severance isn't really a serious film, and in that sense the tone of the movie and some of the characters are reminiscent of "Cabin Fever". And like that movie, I can see a lot of people watching "Severance" and afterward saying "the comedy took away from the horror, the characters were dumb, this movie sucks". The bottom line is that if you go into this movie knowing it is not going to be a completely serious movie, I cannot see how it will disappoint.

Yes, you read right, I just compared this to two Eli Roth films. That being said, "Severance" is not as scary a movie as Christopher Smith's previous effort "Creep", but overall it is just about as entertaining. [8/10]

There are some parallels to Suspira, mainly a female lead, faint whispering voices, and a vague mystery involving witches... but the similarities end there. The movie looks, feels, and progresses absolutely nothing like Suspiria. It's more comparable to "Mean Girls" or "Girl Interrupted" or "Lost & Delirious". Hell, there's a scene that is a direct rip from the movie "The Craft" involving the balancing of a pencil. Ripping off the craft, intentionally or otherwise, should be avoided. But that really sets the tone... there is nothing new here.

The movie is a period piece, taking place sometime in the early 60's, and for the most part McKee seems to have captured that feel with excellent sets, costumes, locations, and with the help of the supporting cast's performance, particularly the protagonist's parents, played by Bruce Campbell and Emma Campbell(relation?). Unfortunately the movie gains absolutely nothing by taking place in the 60's... so even though it was very well done in that respect, it was ultimately pointless.

The pacing is very slow for the first half, but then explodes into an effects and gore fest in the last 15 mins. It might have actually been satisfying had I enjoyed ANYTHING up to that point. The mythology behind the events and ceremonies was never really explained, you're never told exactly why the protagonist is special, and the movie ends leaving you feeling empty as though nothing has been resolved.

It's possible I'm missing something, that maybe this is the type of movie one has to watch twice "to get"... but it's also the type of movie that makes one not want to watch it more than once.

If "May" was an 8/10, "Sick Girl" a 9/10, then "The Woods" is a 5/10.

I saw this movie at a screening at the 2006 Rue Morgue Festival of Fear.

Abominable is great. I believe I've seen a few horror movies about the yeti, but this is the first decent Bigfoot/sasquatch horror movie I've ever seen. It's surprising that this is the first I know of considering that Bigfoot is such a big cryptozoological icon in north America.

Abominable has some decent actors for a relatively low budget B movie. The main characters for the most part are very well acted. There are hilarious cameos by B movie stars Jeffrey Combs and Lance Henrickson.

The feel of confinement is conveyed well. The cinematography really helps you identify with the wheelchair bound main character and his limited perspective. There are a few "jump scares" that will get you. The creature effects are great, and the monster reveal doesn't happen too early.

The movie is fun, and has a classic ending that really satisfies... something which I find is a rarity these days.

Cronenberg's "Videodrome" meets Arnofski's "Pi".

Psychological and confusing like a Twilight Zone episode, technological and preachy like The Outer Limits, "One Point O" has a definite classic sci-fi feeling to it.

The music and sounds of the movie are excellent, together with the grittiness of the close-ups, the camera angles, the dark environments and over saturated colors, the directors successfully convey the paranoid schizophrenic mood of the movie onto it's viewers.

The acting was convincing, and most of the characters were very interesting, and well cast.

Contrary to previous comments, this movie does indeed have a plot, and a great one at that. Granted, if you're not technically inclined, or have a short attention span, you may not get what's happening or just fail to see the plot entirely. So this movie is not for everyone, but then again, what movie is? Most male geeks aged 20-30 will like "One Point 0".

The movie progresses at a steady pace, slowly giving the audience more information. At any point in the movie, save for the ending, the audience only knows as much as the main character knows. Some of the information conflicts leading to assumptions and more questions(is it a video game? is it a conspiracy? is he insane?), but this only reflects the confusion the main character is feeling.

I feel I should write more about this movie, but everything I have to say seems to be speculation, spoiler, or discussion.

To sum up my review, "One Point O" is an awesome piece of environmental/psychological science fiction. The movie will keep you guessing while you're watching it and will leave you with questions when it's over.