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Snow: The Movie

Snow-a no show
I can't believe eight writers worked on this s**t. Stick to acting Mr Argue, cause this bombed out attempt of comedy, that only offers a few laughs, less than tasteless comics in their moment of standup, goes nowhere. You know why-because there's no frickin' story. Argue who works on the ice rink, wins a car in a competition, so him and his dimwitted mate head to the snow. They make real a**es of themselves out there on the alps and inside the hotel lodge, as with these two hotties, not even acting, speaking as though, they're in reality, where you'd much rather be in, than this film. Thank god, at least we have Peter Moon, his presence, the best moments of this mess, as a sleazy manager, running the motel, trying to score with our hotties, and I guess you can imagine how that works out. The best thing about this, is it's beaty song at the end of the film, as well as it's end, 73 minutes too late, as it so happens. This crap, makes '84's Hot Dog-the movie, look superior.


A British drama, for fine, arty movie lovers you have to give time for
The title here is like a punchline to a joke. In a near two hour film, we have an exceptionally slow plodding story, as if somehow the horrible tragedy near it's end, pays off, which it does on a first view. We feel the whole of this told film in a necessity up to that point. And lets be honest, watching the nubile Irons and Binoche, get it on, we almost wish a re run of the seamy scenes in Basic Instinct, replaced it. There is no eroticism, or chemistry, whatsoever. However I can't say I hated the film. It least does have some humping, whatever, one scene in particular has Binoche covering Iron's eye, while like skyward, dreamily. Irons works as a minister in Parliament, whatever, has a loving and supportive wife, the great Miranda Richardson, the acting stealer here. He lives in riches, has a beautiful teen daughter, a little rebellious sort, and a successful son (Rupert Graves) great too, who works for a paper and who's fiancée', is fatally Binoche. So we, know some sort of Damage is gonna eventuate. For men, cheating is almost second nature. Personally I think Irons character is such an idiot, in part he gets what he deserves at the end of this movie, though you do feel a tad sorry for him. I think Richardson is far sexier than Binoche, but we all know opinions tend to very. This drama, actually a class about it, as in it's slow pacing, where we other family, in one scene Binoche's ex, played by Peter Stormare, in an unusually calm role. What damage does at the end though, leaves you with an afterthought, about the consequences of cheating, where losing the ones we love, comes at a much heavier price. The title artistry is great, with each letter fading onto the screen, of course, in slow succession.

Paradise Motel

An unforgotten 80's comedy in paradise
I love this movie when it first came out. You get more from it, if judging it by it's cover. What you have is a comedy and drama with heart, that balances well. Plus you have the likable Hershberger, an awkward type character here, the different end of the cue to the more confident and cocky one he played in Free Ride. He's just moved into sunny California, with his parents who've just bought a motel. Unfortunately, he sleeps in a room, where every night above him, he hears the constant rocking and squeaking of lovers humping it. Quickly befriended at his new school by a couple of guys, with obvious underlying intentions, the hot studs they are, he is soon renting out his rooms, free card, to his new circle of friends, where Papa eventually catches on. They shout Sam (Hershberger) video games, free sodas, whatever, as long as they get, you know what. There are some really funny incidents in this fresh 80's comedy, one I'll never forget where Sam and his friend, (JJ Cohen-The Principal) bragging about his member, sneak into a strip club, and clash with the bouncer. Sam has also caught the eye of a delicious blonde beauty, who happens to be going out with the deceitful head of his circle of amigos, who's apparently into almost every girl. That confrontational scene, with Hershberger delivering that warranted line of attack, before he punched the head friend out, after catching him with the beauty, had me cracking up, rewinding, continually, it even had me acting it out. In my own way, I was silently rooting for Hershberger. PM has some great music too, it's movie track "One Track Mind", rocks. This movie is tasty entertainment all the way. Movie's like this made the eighties unforgettable. The dinner scene with Hershberger awkwardly, politely swallowing down sushi while alone with the beauty at her house, is something most of us could relate with. Lucky, Hershberger options to take his date to the bowling alley for coke and fries. Stay for the end credits, as some clips are repeated, as the names of our mains are introduced.

Spring Breakers

A fair spring
Four hot down on their luck girls, bikini beauties, resort to robbing a restaurant to pay for a spring break in good ol' Florida. This is familiar territory for Korine, recurring flashbacks, flash forward shots amidst a lot of profane if repeated dialogue (Spring breeaaaaak. Spring breaaaaak). Also it has thankfully a lot of, sex, nudity and cleavage, one shot if I was not mistaken, featured a guy getting s..ked off. These four girls almost out of high school, but stuck in this dead end town, yearn for this break, where it comes as a godsend. After getting arrested for noisy behavior at a loud party, they're bailed out by Alien- a wealthy drug dealer, avid rapper, budding pianist, and you should see all the s**t he's got in his pad, where's he quick and proud to brag about it, which makes for one of the funny scenes. Although SB has more drama about it, it does have an uncomfortable and a sadness about these girls, you really wanna see got do the right path. The party pooper, the hot Gomez, a church goer, bails out on them, returning to her dead town existence. You'll actually think she might return later but doesn't. Franco who takes the girls in, like candy to a baby, though Gomez sees above his act, which really it isn't, when you get to know his character better, vows vengeance on a former friend/drug dealer, after the second beauty is wounded and heads in the same direction as Gomez. Franco is the one savior of the film, a serious, seriously good actor, where we're sure to see much more impressive stuff from this guy. This film could of seriously plummeted without his performance. The shooting montage scene, against his piano playing/singing track of a ten year old Brittany Spears track, I liked very much, stays in my head, it was quite a surprise to hear this particular song. This movie is worth the view for the obvious birdwatcher, but really this one, which is something different, doesn't have much potency to it, where we could of delved deeper into these girl's characters and problems, where too many shots of bouncing boobies, or bikini's, got in the way. Not that's there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all.

A History of Violence

People do change
I liked the different direction Cronenberg went in, with this, followed by Eastern Promises. This is an impressive debut, in his out the horror zone of films. Viggo Mortennsen, an actor in high demand, gives another fine performance as a simple man, who could be hiding an ugly past as a fixer for the mob. Now running a cafe, he foils a robbery attempt, in one quite graphic scene concerning the poor SOB robber, who has half his face blown off. Now painted as a town hero, this could be the much recognition, he doesn't need. A seamy stranger, mob guy, (Ed Harris) suddenly shows up in town claiming to know Tom Stawell (Mortennsen) threatening to disclose his past, which Stawell heavily denies. Mario Bello, also impressive as Stawell's wife, stands by him, as more evidence comes to light which can't be overlooked. May'be he really was that bad man, who did all those terrible and hideous things to those poor souls. More convinced is another guy, who Stawell is brought to, played by an actor of high accolade, who was out of the celebrity light for a while, his performance worth waiting for, it's great to see his comeback in this thing. What gets you with A History Of Violence, is the thriller aspect, the need to know of Mortenssen's character. It's an highly engrossing movie, on that basis, with heavy bits of the latter of it's title, with Morttensen, just a superb actor to watch. Through watching him mostly play bad guys in early roles, I always found this uncomfortable aura about him. An early scene, where Bello leads an uncertain Viggo to a secluded spot for some, you know what, is cute.

Killing Zoe

Not a bad kill from Quentin's mate
On my view, I do admit I was a bit disappointed. Give it a few views, I was entertained intensely. First we have Paris, one of the most beautiful cities of the world, though we don't get to see much of it in this. Granted, this is no Pulp Fiction, some of it's dialogue with it's intellectual humor, leads us to question Quentin might of got his pen a little wet here. Like Reservoir Dogs, we have a heist gone wrong, amidst a little frank and shocking violence. (Eric) Jean Hughes Anglande has invited a childhood friend over, safe cracker Zed (Stoltz) he hasn't seen in some time. They're to do over a big bank on Bastille day, where the night before they get on the p**s and H, so obviously we're in the hand of some real experts. This too becomes a shock to Zed, who's only given a day's notice, not even having time to checked the bank out. In part, as seen to the amateur display of activities by our thieves, in these ugly masks, you could silently label this as an anti drug movie. Now here's the fun angle to the title. On the day of Zed's arrival, he's sent an escort, Zoe, (Julie Delpy) who just happens to work at the same bank, they do over, where Zed caught at a pivotal moment, towards it's end, is forced to make a choice, and I did too like the way it ended. Too, Eric's drunken admittance of aids, to Zed, made sense in the way he literally shoved Zoe out of his room, after the two's little interlude. Loved the cool opening plus it's title song, where were shown numerous streets of Paris, as if from a driver's POV. I loved the end song too, with Delpy saying "Let me show you the real Paris". Also Stoltz's whacked out POV, of visible music tunes, drifting out of friend, Anglande's trumpet. Not for all Tarantino fans.


Araki's lowdown film
After the superior, The Living End and Totally f**ked up, Araki's two next films spiraled, this one a more desperate attempt on the last, until he redeemed himself with Mysterious Skin, probably his best ever. Take strong reference to the title. This is a going nowhere movie, though, like The Doom Generation, you can't deny it's color, and enthusiasm, in it's over the top characters and situations, where even a couple who were once the Brady kids appear. One shock moment I recall, was the hot shot actor, raping a female fan. This movie has no direction, it's messages unexplanatory, only there are a lot of f**ked kids in L.A. burdened with their usual baggage and angst. This is just another movie of put together out there scenes, a few familiar faces in this too. This is the prime reason, this falls even weaker than The Doom Generation. One good thing out of it was hottie, Menu Suvari in what is another Araki mess. You could almost make a film like this, by going out on the town with your friends, or at their parties, where the rest you could script with some out there stuff to give it some flavor.


A scanners deep in story, a must see
Scanners has the best exploding head scene, I've ever seen. That was the primary reason I saw it, back when I was 14, where after, the film just became a long bore, after that first ten minutes into the film. When I saw it about fourteen years later, as with some films, including Manhunter, or Near Dark, to name a couple, my opinion had changed considerably. There are a couple of other gory bits, but one has to look beyond, into the genius of a well thought out, if a little over plotted, story, which at times is hard to follow. It starts out with a derelict with special telekinetic and telepathic abilities, who causes some probs, menacing some old customers in a shopping mall cafeteria, inducing one into a heart attack. He becomes a guinea pig, taken in by a malicious organization, who joins some other special minds, including sexy Jennifer O'Neil. The Derelicts brother's, Ironside, also a scanner, uses his gift, but with bad intentions, where he has some dastardly plans for his brother, who must outpower him. Sometimes horror tends to dwell into the too much story zone, instead of bloodletting. This is what has happened here, yet this movie got me in, this time. Another one of Cronenberg's hits. Check out his earlier pic, Shivers, again that has a quite fascinating story, you kind of have to use your noggen to better understand.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

Like psychologically disturbed brother, like a sequel that sucks
This was a no need for a horror sequel. An unbelievable amount of screen time is wasted on flashback footage in the first one, that stands superior to this trash. We have a way over acted Freeman as Ricky, the younger surviving brother of the first after the other maniacal brother was shot down in front of his young eyes, in it's finale. In this one, of all the nerve to have a movie, where mass murderer brother Ricky is being interviewed by a psychiatrist, out to find his motivations, among long intermittent flashbacks. When Ricky cracks in front of girlfriend Cayton, killing an ex, then Cayton, while continuing his rampage, shooting down neighborhood folk, save for a little girl, it's just futile and this massacre doesn't make sense. The way in which he kills his victims, apart from the ones who are shot, are just pathetic. Remember, it's a horror. Horror films require knives, etc, not guns, which made that massacre, incredibly stupid and totally out of whack. Somehow this sequel got all it's s..t wrong. I do admit, Freeman is fun to watch. Not so is this film, some of it's stars, and I'm really talking minor roles, mostly, giving such hammy performances, they ought to be hammered. The actors in the first one were so much better (professional). This film really goes nowhere or explain Freeman's motivations, as he's too far gone to level with the doc, or he's just too much of a sickopath, which just devalues it more. One stupid horror, sequel.

Es war nicht die Nachtigall

Julia won't grab you
When finally viewing this, I found the whole exercise, one straining bore. We have a girl desperate to lose her virginity (a younger Sylvia Kristel). She falls for a boy her age, also inexperienced, his dad letting his mistress giving him some pointers but ultimately failing. Seriously folks, this scenario has been done to death in so many other films, especially around 70's time. But here it's done with such uninteresting characters, you don't give two hoots about any of em'. It doesn't have much story either, the surrounds kind of bringing back the ones in Erotic Sex Games, a much better adult title, you'd have an almost nil chance of attaining. Sex hungry Kristel, so angered by her lover, holding back, becomes violent too, like clawing at his face. I couldn't stand the big haughty mistress, either. Julia isn't a film I'd watch again. I remember it as such a disappointing view, where not much happens, a limited adult film in many ways, where The Emmanuelle series is a much better pick. I honesty regretted hiring this one. Trust me, leave this one where it belongs-on the shelf.

Murphy's Law

Bronson's law, is the only law you need to know
Murphys Law is a tight, action packed, psychological adventure, thriller. There, I said it. It's one of his better vehicles. I love adventure thrillers like this, and it's revenge theme is a bonus. Settling an old score, psycho killer (Snodgress), who's escaped from the looney bun, sets up Bronson good, only having him escape, handcuffed to a reluctant foul mouthed prisoner (the great versatile character actress, Kathleen Wilhoitte) where they escape in a helicopter off the top off the police building then crash into a barn, occupied by druggie bikers. I'll just let you see how Bronson handles this one. Wilhoitte's insults deserves recognition for their originality. Soon the two become pals, where she assists him in tracking down the SOB responsible for killing his wife, then framing him. One suspect, a gangster, who Bronson cautions, with his own brand of Murphy's Law, after he made threats towards him, is literally caught with his pants down down. If you love watching Bronson do what he does best, just add this better title to the list. Murphy, a bit of a boozer too, doesn't like other cops insulting his wife either.

Children of the Corn

Cult hell
This was a scary one to see at the flicks, and I was just over fourteen. This is one of the best Stephen King novels transpired to film. It's an effectively scary horror film, especially in it's first five minutes, when a number of adults are massacred by sharp implements, what have you in a cafe by a religious cult, where if you're over 18, it's fatal. One old guy they don't kill, funnily enough. happens to be an old gas station owner. Yuppie couple (Hamilton and Horton, so surpassed by the much better performances of the kids, the kid who plays the cult leader, Issac, is brilliant) happen to be traveling down the wrong highway. They end up going around in circles, then hit a kid, a traitor of the cult, running from these evil doers, (the different angled shots of the cornfields are masterfully shot here) who jumps out onto the road, before them. Only their real troubles are just beginning. This is one of very few King novels to film that successfully work, two other ones that worked effectively were Cujo and Pet Sematary to some extent. Here is a real scare fest, especially when you consider the concept, which has you unconsciously imagining, "What if?" There are some ugly moments, none more than in it's start, where at the time, it had me wondering how it escaped an R rating. There are some nifty shock moments, that had me jumping, in it's first view, where this successful king horror maintains suspense, all the way. The kid actors are so impressive here, you really hope the two leads lift their game. And what's with all this corn. For King fans and all horror fans a like.

Shifshuf Naim

Another hit, ala Popsicle style
Another series of embarrassing incidents, (if you're a Popsicle fan, you know who to thank) and funny sexcapades, again make up another winner in this series. An extra hot youngie, Delores, who Benji once had the hots for, but his best friend was doing her, pops back up in his life, where he can't keep his hormones under wraps, or is it love? Dumping his current sweetie who stacks up average against this returning beauty, he soon finds out she's not a one man girl, and doesn't want to be tied down, which of course, paints her off as a you know what. Becoming infatuated over her, our brainwashed Benji, drops all the important things, like the advice of his good friends, Huey and Stevie, to pursue a serious relationship with Delores. The fun really takes off though when Benji's super hot cousin, Inga, a perpetual head turner, comes to visit. At the dinner table, Benji and Pop's eyes eat up Inga, rather than the soup placed in front of them. The way she sips her soup, is as sexy as her, or when she leans over, one ample titty poking out of her cut loose blouse. Too later, on, we have a hot middle aged nympho piano teacher, who likes to be pleasured by young studs, inspired to hit those keys and make beautiful music. She prefers beginners, by the way. A long list of fifties songs, play throughout this Porky's type flick, this one, almost as good. The last love song aptly fits the making up scene of our two cuties in the finale, this couldn't of been done more perfect. Another hit for the Popsicle fans. Popsicle fans won't be disappointed.

Meet the Feebles

Another fim in bad taste, but in this case, a good thing
What a bizarre flick this is. Borderline porn, reversely different from Jackson's Bad Taste, this almost seems appropriate, one factor I loved about this. Set around this t.v. show where some of the puppets are really bad and devious sorts, most of the characters in Showgirls should get together with them. Everything and anything shocking comes up in this, including gore, some puppet porn, plus a fly feeding on faecies. Certainly something different, this PJ flick only had a couple of special screenings back in 91 at the Academy, and really I guess it deserved more. Definitely an improvement on his horrible but undeniably lovable dreck, Bad Taste, this captivates the viewer by how far these puppets go. Like Ted, the puppets here were well manned, some of them actually cute and likable like Robert the slightly stuttering hedge hog, and his bitch on heat, this white female poodle, Lucille, oblivious to the fact, she's about to become a star in this scuzzy rat's underground sex flick. Heidi the hippo, the star of our show, goes nuts in the end, guns blazing, at the discovery of her husband, Harry the Walrus, having it off with a southern bell speaking floosy. If you liked to be really shocked, deeply humored, or after something different, where the coin could toss both ways, give this one a go. Besides Robert, I really did love Heidi, especially eating out a bakery. I wish Peter Jackson still made these offbeat kind of films.

Kill or Be Killed

This 'Kill is no Kill And Kill Again
I was expecting another Kill And Kill Again. What I got was a slower and much less punchy vehicle. At times, there seems to be hardly any activity at all. The story too, goes off the beaten track a little like when Ryan and his love take off through the desert on their wind sailor, singing jubilantly, eating up too much screen time. The opening music theme, which I absolutely loved, and it's locale scene, a long exterior shot of a big fortress in the desert, as I frankly recall, is the first thing that clicks in my mind when I think about Kill Or Be Killed. With this film I was short changed afraid. There's much less action where you're kept waiting, especially from the start, where it came between long intervals. A slightly younger looking Ryan, with shorter, neater hair, who was in fact only 18 when he made this, plays another Steve character, who's drawn back into a fight in another big arena, where participants fight with weapons of choice. Ryan, a Chard Hayward sounding actor, does have a certain charisma, but not good acting status, where he's surrounded by a few antic characters, that midget guy a hoot. These characters at least add something to this disappointing actioner. After seeing Ryan's other flick, this had me on quite a come down, it had me moping. If you've seen this, and wasn't satisfied, and you've haven't seen the other kill movie, it's vitally imperative you do, as it may just bring your spirits up, for this 'Kill is so over ridden by, it's follow up.

Girl 6

A little less, what we expect from the Spikester, but all's still good
Considered to be Spike's worst, I still found this engaging (ha ha) as his others. Randle holds her own as a New York actress, dropped from her agency after walking out on a QT audition. Idiot. Footnote: If you see how bad Randle's character's acting is, you question how she's come so far. Now out of the work, scoring the odd extra audition, Randle finds a new way to tap into her talents, as a phone sex operator. This is where the movie gets juicy, thanks to Randle's colorful callers, one Hispanic couple cracked me up. Unfortunately, one of her callers is a unhinged stalker, where the movie later shifts into drama, where originally, really, it was an intended drama. The stalker who played De Caprio's dying friend in The Basketball Diaries, a year earlier, sent some chills through me when getting to the crux his threats, on poor suffering Randle, where this change of mood to the film was good. Randle's ex, a good hearted thief (Issah Washington) isn't really, helping as wanting to get back with her. Her good friend/neighbor, Jimmy, of course played by Lee, who sort of bludges off of her, tries to talk her out of this dangerous and nowhere job. Lee's quite good in this, a proved actor, given the right environment. Too, Randle's being harassed by a middle aged Indian store owner, who rejects his advances. Underneath, this is a movie about woman's rights, not wanting to conform, like when being asked to strip for a movie audition, where she blows other ones later on these same grounds. It too shows how dangerous it can be, when you get too friendly with the wrong client, who sounds so nice and genuine over the phone. Women shouldn't have to tolerate drooling men, or sick minds. Randle's character's independence, I really liked, and she does have a real sexy voice. If you're a Lee fan, don't shun this one out, or if you're an avid Lee fan, it goes without saying. Opening score is great, as is a guest appearance by Madonna, fondling a cute dog, plus all those dropping phones in the street, in it's finale, with Randle and partner making up.

Alphabet City

Movie story simple as your A B C + Spano
Alphabet City does have a cool style about it, with Spano, so good in this, mirroring a kind of younger Pacino (watch the way his eyes move in this) as 19 young street smart Johnny who controls the drug market for the big guys. But what AC scarcely makes up for in style, it lacks in it's prolonged and insufficient story. When asked by his boss to torch the building his parents reside, he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, literally, cause there's no way in hell, his folks are gonna split. He implores little sis (Jamie Gertz) to be the one to talk some sense into him, but like her parents will be, she's against it too. The movie is basically set over one night, with Johnny now wanting out, running back and forth, trying to figure a way out of this nightmare, first trying to collect his doe. You don't really have to be Einstein to figure out where the story goes from here. Yet still, with it's flashy appeal in a tame R rated movie, almost void or gore or bad language (I don't see how it earned this, like a few other movies of these 80's) this still manages to be an okay drama, on a bit of a flat running level. But honestly, this flick with some cool hip music, is worth watching, just for Spano's performance. Where the hell is this impressive 80's actor these days. Love Spano's boss's young floozy, Karen, in the red dress.

The King of the Kickboxers

This flick ain't king
This kickboxing straight to video flick, I have to admire it's twist on it's story, plus of course, the personal angle. While witnessing his older brother having the life kicked out of him by this big, unbeatable oaf, as a kid, now many years, later, Loren-now an unorthodox undercover cop, you can't help but love, due to his charm, is given a new assignment. A band of sicko's + the oaf, Khan, are making snuff films where Khan, mostly the main player, does his stuff. Of course not wanting to return to Thailand, due to that tragedy many years ago, when viewing a snuff tape, he of course, reconsiders, and he's there lickety split. Loren's way over dramatic acting, that's laughable, had me in a utter state of unbelief, among some other amateur performers, of course excluding legends (Richard Jaeckel, who overacts some too, like in one early confrontational scene shared with Loren, plus Don Stroud who's really only in two scenes, you wonder why he bothered. He doesn't even look like he wants to be there, and I for one don't blame him. Loren does though add personality and spark, his screen presence does pull you in. While in Thailand, Loren is tutored by an older professional kick boxer who went up against Khan, and payed a heavy price. Now it's up to Loren to avenge the past, by taking on Khan, where of course we know the overthrowing result that makes a happy ending. Loren falls in love too, with a girl, whose dreams didn't work out the way she had planned. She's one of a flock of working girls, who are all considered by our numbskull Khan, and others, as beautiful which they aren't. When selected by Khan, Lorens soon to be lover, makes a mad dash, repulsed to the max. Let's face it, Khan isn't someone a girl would like to take home for her mother to meet. KOTK is a barely adequate, but really an under par martial arts flick, the movie riding on a too light, though original story, worth it's weight in Khan's IQ.

Kill and Kill Again

A martial arts hit, that warrants viewing for action fans, that kicks left, right, and centre
For all you martial arts fans out there, if you haven't vide'd this one, put it on your list. James Ryan, a martial arts star in the eighties, came and went, his real only other main stream film being Kill Or Be Killed, which had much lesser action. Actually, at the end of the preview of the latter, underneath it's title, reads: The greatest martial film ever made. Absolute bologne. The action in this, comes thick and fast, we're literally thrown into it, at the beginning. This one will surprise you. It has a good story too. The likable Ryan plays a guy called Steve Chase, who rounds up a band of his old and deadly acquaintances, some real wild characters. Sounds like Kill Squad right, or may'be Sidaris's smart '79' hit, Seven. Not quite. A beautiful young girl (Kriel-Reason To Die) implores Chase and his selected few to snatch her father from a camp, where he has been brainwashed into performing experiments on a legion of other prisoners, who become programmed to kill. So Ryan and his boys have got their work, cut out for them. Love it. Meanwhile as the viewer, just indulge in huge chunks of action, but wait, we've got one hell of femme fatale with white spiked hair who's a hoot, thanks to some good punchy, dialogue, in a script you don't expect to be this good. You'll love the nickname she'll gives her master, to his utter loathing. Our hunky Ryan was something of a fascination to me, in a film here that stands alone. He was soon forgotten, but one wonders whatever happened to him.

Mat to sing suk si 33D

An invader of a different and sexual kind
Bouncing jugs a plenty in this futuristic sex drama, with some nice sick gore (the in thing with these movies now) to add to it. Our sexy hero, is from the year 2046, who comes back in time after a male seed, some butt ugly looking meanies after her, trying to hinder her efforts. Before I go on, I did think the younger girls were hotter, esp the one that lucky bas...d makes out with in the change rooms. He's the envy of his uncomely and geeky friends, especially one, who's so ugly, hell knows where they got this kid from. He gets quite an education down under, which would make some jealous guy's blood boil. Now with that out of the way, what we have here is certainly something different. If you like hot Asian chicks in bikini's, the occasional gore trip, or comedy that has you laughing out aloud, this outlandish sex comedy, (it's the humor which is in abundance, that will get you) that still is yet to be seen hitting DVD shops, is for you, but still has a weakness about it, that could be in the story, where not enough attention was focused on it, but more so on those other qualities I mentioned.


Bruno out Borat's Borat, any day of the week
I can't understand why so many people hated this film. I can only put it down to how extravagantly gross and insanely funny it is. I guess that's the price, Cohen has to pay for going too far again or pushing the envelope as obviously demonstrated in parts of the film, none more than the terrorist angle, which of course would have a few people seeing red. You'll just love his description of Osama. In my book he's the genius comic of the millennium. Gross, disgusting, vulgar, obscene, remember we're dealing with Cohen. He gets away with a lot in this, you gotta admire his audacity. This time around, he's excelled himself in what one would say, a masterpiece of non stop laughs. Forget Borat, this is by far his best. Bruno hosts a fashion show called Funkenzeit, an embarrassing incident has got his show kicked off the air. Not only that, he's lost his little Asian lover. The two got intimately close and shown in two clips that earned the R rated version. You'll never guess who his other lover was. After trying to make a quick buck acting, and failing, then running a model casting, Bruno reinvents himself with his own show that gets canned, his efforts trying to get an interview with Harrison Ford, was a' hilarious moment, as was him interviewing Paula Abdul. But there are so many hilarious moments in this film, I'd be here to next week describing them all. Again too, we don't know if some of the players were an unsuspecting audience or if it was all acted, which I'd doubt very much. As his new enterprises keep going down the tubes, Bruno fails to acknowledge the affections of his plain looking associate. His latest venture has him trying to turn straight, when seeing a wall of photos of all straight celebrities. He goes to see a preacher to put him on the right track. He even goes to a sex camp, of course, still that way inclined, that provides more side splitting laughter, where the laughs kind of slowed in patches, a little pre fore. If you're born gay, you're gay, there's no way you can change, this so painfully obvious when Bruno's lover returns, where Bruno now runs an anti gay host show. The scene in the boxing ring with the two fighting then kissing and making up, to the theme of Titanic, was the only part that sucked. This movie definitely doesn't. Be your own judge, and don't be swayed from not watching this. You could be turning your back on a crack fest that will have you laughing so hard,your face will redden.

Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling

Pryor's directorial debut, delivers on all cylinders
Not only is this movie funny, but it's also clever as in it's idea, of having a clone of the Richard Pryor character as his savior. As we know, all comedians have suffered severe depression or encountered some horrible times in their lives. Coked up, an alcoholic too, Jo Jo (Pryor) severely burns himself. Coming out of it, enter the other Pryor, the voice inside his head, the apparition, telling him to get his life back on track. Obviously, bits of the movie are inspired from Pryor's background. The movie starts with Jo Jo as a kid, living with his mother, who (hows this?) manages a whorehouse, so he gets to the savor the tasty sights through peepholes, or through having his ears pressed up against the doors, hearing those joyous sounds of sex. As he grows up into his late teens, he tells his mother he's gonna become a comedian. Obviously her initial response has her laughing aloud. So he leaves and toughs it on his own, while later becoming involved with two women, the latter, Debbie Allen, wanting to see him dead. This is a strong drama, too a comedy, that's balanced well, but more a drama. Richard's stand up stuff here is top notch, just as good as his real stand up, where both are potent, with their much undeniable truth surfaced underneath. You can't help thinking, some of the real Richard has been incorporated into his character, Pryor, just as good a dramatic actor, as a comedic one. The explanatory joke involving birth, really cracked me up. Watch out for Wings Hauser who Pryor knocks out, when finding him and his first girlfriend in an uncompromising position, doing blow whatever. An anti drug alcohol movie in part, this shows the pitfalls and struggles of the virgin comedian, the highs and lows they encounter, the humiliation and bitter disappointments, he must first endure. and . The movie also features Marvin Gaye's "What's going On" over a montage. Allen (Fame) as Pryor's second wife is particularly good. A movie treat for Pryor fans or peepers, for that matter.

Il giustiziere della strada

Another sign of the time sci flick from the eighties
Here was something promising. Though there are some quite unique attractions to this science fiction (Italia) thriller, dubbed voices and all. One being of course the futuristic metallic car: the exterminator, but really story wise, it doesn't build up to much, but still it's quite an engaging, watch thanks to it's hero lead, Alien and his 10 year old son, though Alien really doesn't want to admit it. Thought to have deserted his family, including his son, he's hunting down the most precious resource: water, something we take for granted. After the nuclear holocaust, the earth has dried up, literally an expanse of baron land, with only few survivors. Some are unfortunately a merciless gang (aren't they all in these kind of flicks) of savages who thwart Alien's efforts to go after the water. His ten year old boy teams with up with him, to his reluctance. Hope comes in the form of a rebellious woman who knows where the water is stashed: in the well guarded confined of our greedy savages. I know it sounds stereotypical, though don't write this one off. After all, anything dubbed in these Italians cheapies is funny as is the likable kid, when he gets drunk. Some of the traps/contraptions were impressive too, as was the first ten minutes of setting to this flick, when Alien rips a canter of water in meagre supply off of a cop. Definitely something worth viewing, visually, this isn't a bad film, and does have enough action to maintain your interest, although the teaser made it look more action packed. And too it ends on a fine and rainy note. Great effective music score. Great front cover off this Roadshow title too.

Come Play with Me

Dishiblle bodies in sex farce romp
Here's another of these bawdy, saucy, naughty, eye candy flicks, that the English do so well. Set on a sex health farm, with hotties and open nudity, a plus, we have two money forgers hiding out. They're quiet and demure amongst the much other younger guests, and with good reason, but really these two aren't the sociable type. With an intrusion of half clad hotties waking them up, they hardly even react. This verging cult hit has some great songs, one music choreographed number, done by some of the actors I couldn't get, out of my head. As in other sex farces too, some recognizable faces, you wouldn't expect to see in this, pop up. This movie too, gives a whole new meaning to irrigation, I don't want to go into. Come Play With Me is actually a saucy little entertainer with way enough nudity, to get your hormones rising, humor, and some likable forgers. A very naughty, raunchy comedy, London Style.

The Wild Pair

What a pair
This isn't a bad occasional watch. I give Beau Bridges credit. He's pulled off something here in this tight action thriller. Don't underestimate some of it's violence, either. He balances the lead part and director well. Smith and Bridges have made one of the best buddy teams in yonks, considering they get off to a real bad start. Before being thrown up against a wall in a police office, due to one of his wisecracks, agent Jennings (Beau Bridges in a quite mysterious character, I liked a lot) gets in cop, Benny's (Smith) way. Smith was about to question this guy, who undercover cop Bridges, was about make a drug purchase from. This figure leads them to a militant hate group, who hot shot Bridges knew about already. He keeps pulling Bubba's chain, with lies, diverting him from the real truth, only streetwise Smith isn't one to be taken for a fool. One funny example here, that's a kind of diversion from my point, has Smith ditching him in a porno cinema, where an old gay gay, tries to get a bit too friendly. Sunshiny faced Bridges gets it later. Bridges character is so funny, you can't help loving him. The guy heading the militant group is Lyodd Bridges, a fanatic,who trains them young. Father and son actor share a torturer/prisoner scene which was different to see in contrast from their roles in real life. You totally believe by their performances, their characters aren't related. Almost surprising, was other son, Jeff, (the best of the 3 actor family) not popping up in this. Bubba Smith is half the reason to watch it, as his character, a bit of an oddball (not your average cop) coasts through the movie, as a kind of Mr Cool cop, providing some funny moments, one in an early scene, lewdly remarking to another cop, the line ending with... and tweezers". He proves some funny action scenes too. Action is something that doesn't disappoint in this either. A grocery store scene, being robbed, was an excuse for more action, that of course, didn't hurt, in a flick, you shouldn't single out. The end scene with Bridges replacing Smith's cat, who was slaughtered, and footing him with the bill, having Smith chase after him was priceless.

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