JackRyan66

IMDb member since November 2004
    Lifetime Total
    1+
    IMDb Member
    19 years

Reviews

Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life
(2005)

Trash
Never saw such a one-sided, stupid, prude botch. The only thing they forgot to tell is that masturbating causes blindness. But then it isn't even necessary as the main character just stares, and stares ... but let's assume the movie tries to imply he's masturbating. Let's repeat: Watching porn and probably masturbating has several consequences, for example:

  • You look old and tired: Every teenager not sleeping enough looks like that. What does a typical geek look like?


  • You'll fail at sports and school: Can be true, but it's not a consequence of porn, but of any obsessive behavior, computer games or sports (yes, too much training can have an impact on studies, but then we in Europe don't have a tradition of giving sportsmen and -women a free ticket through higher education) can also lead to the same results.


  • You want to sleep with your GF: Hell, which teen boy doesn't want to? I would worry more if he wouldn't!


  • Your friends turn against you: LOL! Usually it's more like who knows the dirtier jokes in any normal school :)


I really like the earlier comment about his small brother playing GTA. It's true, his Mum doesn't care her younger son just killed a "drug dealer" (Lesson: we don't need judges anymore). Doesn't our society have more problems with violence than with sexuality? Let's do a piece of logic (it's as wrong as this movie, but let's try). Islamic Terrorists don't watch porn, it's an affront against their religion. Ergo: NOT watching porn makes you a terrorist.

Well, all the uptight Victorian people out there will love this stupid flick.

In Enemy Hands
(2004)

Worst U-Boat movie ever
This has to be the worst u-boat movie ever. There are huge factual errors making the thing nearly unwatchable. Just some of the worst: - In WWII you didn't shoot at other submerged U-Boats with torpedoes because the chance of hitting were - as the torpedoes of this time were not guided by any means but just followed a preset straight path and detection was mostly based on hearing - ZERO. - You don't shoot at submerged boats with artillery. If the boat's close enough to give you a chance to hit the trajectory of the shells would be quite flat.

The military advice they got for this movie was probably from "Red October", they just forgot that 30 years changed a lot in naval warfare technology.

Beside that: Horrible Script and quite bad acting of many of the others - Schweiger was more or less OK and Kretschmann was quite good, but Caan... such a weak performance (again). He didn't improve a bit since he played the bully in Enemy of the state.

I'm very disappointed that Macey played in this B-Movie. He should know better.

See all reviews