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Movie 43

Funny movie- How does it have such a bad rating?
I think having all the celebrities in this movie was good, because people already liked these stars so it attracted more people. The movie is a bunch of skits put together. And they are pretty inappropriate.

The first skit, with Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman, deals with a date. And Hugh Jackman has man parts on his neck. And it is nasty. In another skit, there is an iBabe. It is a very realistic nude girl. Yes, you see graphic nudity. It is later said that boys were doing stuff to the iBabes and got there parts mangled by a fan in the iBabe. In other skits, Chloe Grace Moretz gets her period, a leprechaun wants his gold, Anna Faris wants her boyfriend to go number 2 on her, Halle Berry plays truth or dare on a date, Justin Long goes speed dating, Terrance Howard thinks race will help his basketball team win, and Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber describe how it is they home school their son.

The d word is said a lot, so is the f word. Lots of sexual content, and laughs.


Can a movie be any more boring.
This movie is so boring and bad and plain ugh. Josh Peck from Drake & Josh was in it, and it was a horror movie about an ATM, so... I had to watch it. But it wasted 90 minutes of my time.

My main problem was that the three people inside the ATM were so stupid to go in there together, and that they did not run away when the could not see the hooded man. Like what is up with that. More of my problems are below.

1. Why did they actually park? Why couldn't they just drop the guy off who needed to be at the ATM and they could have sat in the car while it was running right outside of the ATM.

2. It is a tad unlikely. I don't know about in New York, but here in Michigan we don't have a glass shelter over the ATM.

I would not rate this R. I would rate it PG13 for language. 14+

Urban Legends: Bloody Mary

It Was OK.
My favorite urban legend ever is in this movie. It is at the last paragraph of the review, if you are too lazy to watch it yourself. I wish this movie had more Bloody Mary stuff. No one even did the mirror thing. It should have just been called "Mary".

The movie shows a teen in a bra and underwear, in which she dies in. Nothing really more sexual. The face of Mary can be disturbing. Her face pops up on a TV, that could be scary. Violence, gore, and milder profanity.

Here is the urban legend. It was a little different in the movie, but same concept : A girl named Jenny was home alone with her dog. Her parents had to go to town for the night, and they trusted her to be home alone. There was some news of a serial killer on the loose, but Jenny locked the windows and doors. Every night before bed, Jenny let her dog lick her hand. So she put her hand down off the bed so her dog could like it. then she heard footsteps. She checked the whole house, she found nothing. She got back in bed and let her dog lick her hand. She heard more footsteps. Again, when she looked, she found nothing. She got back in bed and let her dog lick her hand. She fell asleep and awoke at four in the morning to go to the bathroom. There, she saw her dog rotted and hanging from the ceiling. In her dogs blood, it said "People Have Tongues Too".


The ending was so horrible I could have cried.
This movie was so good. That was, until the last five minutes. The movie is about a troubled teen named Ashley (Caitlin Gerald) who goes to a college and stays with a friend Proxy. Proxy tells her about Smiley. All you do is get on a site like Omegle where you talk to strangers and video chat with them, and type "i did it for the lulz" three times. Then, Smiley comes and kills the person you were talking to on video chat. Ashley and Proxy want to see if it is real, so they try it. And it was real. Then Ashley believes that Smiley is stalking her.

Spoilers- this is the horrible ending. Ashley gets chased out of the window by Smiley. She dies. Then Smiley takes his mask off, and it is Zain. Then all the other Smileys come out and they take their masks off. Proxy is still on video chat from Zain's house to her and Ashley's house. All the other Smileys left but Zain. Zain and Proxy chat for a bit, then Zain types "i did it for the lulz" three times, and the real Smiley kills Proxy.

YouTube star Shane Dawson has a major role, and another YouTube star, Shanna Malcolm, has a minor role.

Language, blood, violence, teen drinking and drugs, and sexual stuff. Not recommended for children 17 or under.

Urban Legend

So many twists...
I like this movie. Jared Leto and Rebecca Gayheart star in it. The movie is about a college student who suspects murders around the campus are linked to urban legends. The girls friend, Paul (Jared Leto) believes her, but her other friend, Brenda (Rebecca Gayheart) isn't to sure.

Some urban legends in the movie are "Aren't You Glad You Didn't Turn on the Lights", which involves a girl getting killed in the dark while her roommate walks in, suspecting she is having "fun", the urban legend where the babysitter is phoned by a killer in the house, which they made a movie of, called "When a Stranger Calls".

Gory. Spoilers - - - - the main girl Natalie discovers all the bodies with Brenda. The urban legends are gory too. Not scary. I personally loved the ending.

End Spoilers - Paul and Natalie push the killer - who is Brenda - off of a dock into water. A year later, 6 new college students are telling the story of Brenda, when Brenda herself is listening. the man who told the story told it wrong, so Brenda said "This is how it really goes".

28 Days Later...

28 minutes in was when it started to get good
At the start of the movie, a man wakes up completely naked in a hospital. His package is shown 3 - 5 times. Then it shows him walking around for like 5 minutes. Not nude though. He somewhere found a hospital gown. He is supposed to be the only survivor of a deadly virus. Then he discovers two other people are alive. Then two more. Then they find a grocery store and go on a road trip. They try to escape from zombies.

Graphic nudity, language, violence/gore, some terror. It started getting good 7/10 through the movie. Don't show kids because a kid is a survivor. Strange they made a sequel. Starring Cilllian Murphy and Naomie Harris. Their accents get annoying after a while.


One Missed Call

I Love This... why doesn't anyone else?
How does this have only 4 stars? I love Japanese film remakes, like "The Ring" and "the Grudge", and this is no different.

Spoilers - The movie is about college students who get eerie phone calls from the near future. The creepy thing is, on the voicemail, it has the actual person who got the call saying their last words. Beth, who is friends with a girl named LeeAnne hears the voicemail on LeeAnne's phone. And LeeAnne dies two days later, at the exact time the future voicemail said. After more of Beth's friends die, Detective Jack Andrews teams up with her to help solve the calls.

This is a scary movie, like most all of Japanese remakes. Even the picture on the cover of the DVD case is frightening. Two uses of the s word, that's really it. Don't show children. This sort of links to child abuse at times. And frightening images.


Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Well, I enjoyed it
How many Hansel and Gretel movies are going to be made. Really. It is going to be tough to beat this one. Definitely leave your kids at home for this one. Well, I wouldn't take my kid to any Hansel and Gretel movie, but especially don't let them see this movie. The witches are scary, and what the witches do to kids is just not right for kids to see. Several f words, the b word, and other bad language. Very bloody and gory and action packed. A nude woman is seen getting into a lake. Her behind is seen and a brief breast shot.

Definitely an enjoyable movie to watch. Good actors and actresses. There is gore, violence, bad language, nudity, and frightening things.


House of Wax

Actually pretty good
I watched this because it looked good, and because of three actors and actresses (Jon Abrahams, Chad Michael Murray, and Paris Hilton). It turned out to be pretty good, but the movie was almost two hours.

Spoilers - This movie is very creepy. Bo and Vincent are Siamese twins and their mother is a wax artist. She got the Siamese twins separated. After she went crazy, Bo and Vincent continued to work on wax, but the House Of Wax was no longer open to the public, but the twins still worked there. They made the wax sculptures out of real people. I find that disgusting. Then, two of six people stumble across the House of Wax in a small town. The door was unlocked, so they went in. What a stupid move. One of the twins in the basement in the House of Wax hears them. No one dies yet. That's the beginning, the part you did not really need to see.

Some mentions of sexual stuff, five or six f words, and very creepy. I recommend 16 and up can watch this.

Not Another Teen Movie

Not Another Parody Movie Like This...Please
I got this for Christmas one year, and my friends love it, but it is OK. This movie spoofs teen movies, as the title says. This movie has a character, Areole or something, and she is in the nude whenever she is shown. Only her breasts are shown though. Two other girls breasts are shown too. One girls behind is shown smushed against a window. The opening scene, a girl has a "toy" she is playing with. Her brother and his friends want to have "it" before the year is up. A man comes with whipped cream over his package. That man is Chris Evans or something like that. It has other strong sexual stuff and language.

It's a funny movie, but the plot was stupid. The acting was so so. Some good, some I wanted to punch in the gut.


Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth

Not worth watching
This is almost identical to "Scary Movie", but seven stars worse. I got no laughs out of this. I watched this because it is a parody film, and Simon Rex was in it. I only liked Simon Rex in it. The rest of the actors and actresses were bad and the movie worse than them. If you wanted to see a "Friday The 13th" parody, don't watch this, even though it's title is "Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th", it has nothing to do with the movie. And, of course, when I ordered this, they sent me two copies, so if anyone wants a bad movie, let me know.

Rated R. I do not recommend for 15 or under. Strong sexual content,language (but not a lot of the f word), parody violence, and some other stuff.

Bad movie. Don't watch.

City of Ember

I also once watched this in Science class, since it has to do with the types of energies and stuff. This is one of the best PG movies yet. The storyline centers around Doon and Lina, two kids who want to get to the bottom of the mystery of why the electricity keeps blacking out for a few seconds every time. The acting was not top notch. The Mayor was the worst actor. Sometimes the girl who played Lina was a bad actress.

It could scare some kids when the gigantic mole runs around and when its mouth tentacle things touch Lina's hand when she is grabbing the box. Mild violence. This is a Science fiction, action, adventure with a twinge of comedy. Suitable for children, just the mole thing could be scary.



I want a Flubber...
I wish Flubber was real, because if it was, I would be playing with it right now. We watched this in Science class once because it has to do with atoms and stuff, and we were learning about that. I think we were learning about atoms. OK back to the movie. It was just a bit boring. No, it was a lot boring. Only like 5 scenes were interesting. Robin Williams acting as the professor was a bad choice, because he is like 20 years older than the woman he likes and gets married too. Well he looked like it anyways. I would love to have a house like the professor, though. It was so cool and he really did not have to do anything, just have Weebo or his master inventions do it for him. This is a very kid friendly movie. Nothing frightening or sexual, just kissing. No drugs, maybe a character smoking. Very mild profanity and some violence.


The Fairly OddParents

Wait... Timmy is voiced by a girl?
Timmy is voiced by a girl? Apparently so. The voice can get very,very annoying if you watch a marathon of this show. Or an episode. The storyline circles around a boy named Timmy Turner, with stupid parents, a horribly horrid babysitter called Vickie, two Fairy Oddparents named Cosmo and Wanda, and a baby Oddbrother named Poof (at first I thought Poof was a girl.) The show got dumb after a while, like the 4th season. Sometimes, I wonder about the meaning of this show. If Timmy was locked in a cage with a lion, don't you think he would wish to get out? Well, in similar situations, he does not wish to get out.

Mild name calling, like idiot or moron. Some kissing.


Regular Show

What has Cartoon Network become...
What has Cartoon Network become? This show is awfully horrible in almost every way. It ranges from Mordecai and Rigby going like, "Dude" "Dude" and "Dude" over and over, and the raccoon and bird saying "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh." This show is annoying. My least favorite characters are Muscle Man, Mordecai, and the high five ghost. The show has no point. In the commercial, they say "Don't look at our privates while we synchronize our watches.. Bo Bo be boo boo boo boo be be boo." What has television become in general? It has become horrible.

I don't recommend anyone watching this. It has 8 stars... uh no. 10+ should be able to watch this.

FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman

I used to LOVE this show!
This is the greatest PBS show there ever will be. I will refer to this series as Fetch. Fetch is a spectacular game show that interacts with kids. My favorite animated character was Blossom the cat. I loved Ruff Ruffman,too. I love how it makes the kids go use clues to find things. And if some kids did not get picked they could have gotten bonus points. I remember coming home from school and turning this show on. It is very suitable for children, it is on the PBS network, but nothing violent, sexual, or no language. Like I said before, this is the best PBS show ever.


Loiter Squad

Hilarious Show
Loiter Squad is created by Tyler, The Creator and Tyler is from The music group Odd Future. The other cast members include Jasper, Lionel, and Taco. The theme song is very catchy. It goes "I Like Cheese" over and over again. There is a voice at the beginning of each episode saying "Warning. These stunts are performed by professionals. So your safety and protection of those around you, don't do none this at home". The way he says home is so funny.

This show is hilarious. The first season is better than the first.

This show is on adult swim on Cartoon Network, so it is very inappropriate. They only blur out the f word, so the n word can be heard through each episode. Lots of cussing.



The scariest clown movie
It is going to be hard to make a good remake of "IT". This is pretty scary for something that was just on TV. I have the DVD, and at first I did not know what side of the disc that the first part is on, because it is double sided. The book is good, but it has small print and is 1100 pages.

The image of it may scare some kids. If it was in theaters, I would rate it R for Disturbing Images,violence/gore,terror,language,and very brief sexual content. The plot centers around an "It" who kills kids, so I recommend not showing to children 14 or under. Very good movie and I can't wait for the remake.

Scary Movie 3

Cindy... The TV'S Leaking...
One of the better "Scary Movie" films. This movie spoofed other movies such as "The Ring", and "8 Mile." The best scenes are 1. Cindy.. the TV's Leaking and 2. Visiting the Oracle. Me and my friend Madison say a bunch of quotes from this film, such as "Did I tell you to quit drawing," "Cindy.. the TV's leaking," and "The news is on! Another lil' white girl fell down the well!" This is a pretty funny movie. The casting could have been better and so could the plot. There are special appearances by Queen Latifah, Regina Hall, Leslie Nielsen, and Pamela Anderson.

It might scare kids when Samara from "The Ring" comes out of the TV. Sexual references throughout, and some language.


Observe and Report

Do not care for.
To be honest, I only got this because it was comedy and Anna Faris was in it. Don't judge a movie by its actress or genre. This was so boring and I really didn't need to waste my time on it. There had to be a streaker in the movie, and they had to show his pubic area too. Lots of f bombs for a movie with cops. There is like 80. A picture of a mans you know what is shown 3 times, and the man is shown nude for like 5 minutes of the movie. That is really uncalled for, don't you think? Don't buy or watch this. Save you money and time. "Observe and Report" is just another boring movie about a fired policeman.

Recommended for 17+

Scary Movie 5

I miss the old ones.
This is the worst "Scary Movie" yet, for many reasons. Reason 1 - Brenda isn't back! Brenda was played by Regina Hall in the first four films, and she wasn't in this one! Yeah, Anna Faris isn't in it either, but Brenda was the best character! She was the funniest one! Reason 2 - Two people who died in "Scary Movie 4" were back. They played different people though. They were Charlie Sheen and Simon Rex.

It was funny, but it should have been rated R. There is the bottom of a butt, nonstop sexual stuff, and one clear use of the f word, and the n word, used by the physic. If you are a big fan of the franchise, you should go see it, and if you never heard of the series, you can go, because it is not a continuation.

Recommended for 15+


I Love It
I love this movie. It teaches you not to mess with your waiter/waitress, and to always tip. The movie focuses around Dean (Justin Long), who can get the opportunity to become assistant manager at a restaurant named ShenaniganZ. It also focuses on Monty, (Ryan Reynolds) who trains a new person at ShenaniganZ. Near the end of the movie, a girl with a very hairy "area" pulls her skirt up, and a mans "area" is pulled out of his pants. Nonstop sexual references, like the game the waiters and male cooks play, about unsuspectingly frontal mooning someone (though nothing is shown until the end). Lots of uses of the F word, especially from NaOmi. This movie is very funny, and one of my favorite movies.


Could be my favorite sitcom
How does this only have 6.8 stars? This show is awesome. Sorry, it can not get better than this here folks. This is top notch acting. The actress Roseanne rocked her part. Among other good actresses and actors are Sara Gilbert (Darlene), John Goodman (Dan), and Johnny Galecki (Kevin).

My favorite episode is when they go to Disney World. I laughed so many times in that episode, if I counted, I would lose track.

Some sexual related material, but most of it kids probably will not understand. One episode has two women calling each other the B word, but that's as bad as it gets. Probably suitable for 10 and above.

This TV show deserves more than a 6.8. This is a classic show with laughs in every episode. I highly recommend watching it.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Love It!
This is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Sacha Baron Cohen is an amazingly perfect actor. Don't show kids. Seriously. Lots and lots of profanity and lots more sexual related stuff, including (spoilers) a few photos of a mans frontal parts, graphic and gross. In addition to that, Borat wrestles his friend, and they are both nude. Male behinds are shown, Borat's frontals are covered by a black censored bar, and his friend is fat, so his fat rolls cover his up, but some shots you can see them.

Spoilers below... I think the funniest scene has to be when Borat finally found Pamela Anderson. Ah ha ha ha that is funny. There are references to the show "Baywatch". That is where Borat sees Pamela first.

Rated R for sexual content, including graphic nudity, language, and I think there is a scene with drugs but I can't remember. Probably suitable for 17+ for age.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Yay! A horror movie that is actually a little scary! I only watched this because Johnny Galecki was from "Roseanne", and Sarah Michelle Gellar. But it was really good! Great acting. Now, whenever I see Jennifer Love Hewitt on a commercial or something, I think, "Hey! It's that girl from 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'!" This movie is very original and a good adaptation of a book, one of the best. Great movie and not a bad sequel.

It is, rated R for horror violence and language. Very creepy movie and very suspenseful, and I recommend buying or watching this movie. Very good.

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