JamiJR
Joined Nov 2004
Welcome to the new profile
We're still working on updating some profile features. To see the badges, ratings breakdowns, and polls for this profile, please go to the previous version.
Reviews10
JamiJR's rating
Van Helsing was a better movie than this. Badly written and terribly acted, this dreck doesn't deserve an IMDB page. The characters are all one dimensional - more so than in the original novel. Patrick Bergin is by far the worse Dracula ever seen. Even worse than Thomas Kretschmann in Dracula 3D. There are plot holes you could drive the Queen Mary through. Avoid at all costs. You'd have a better time watching Zoltan: The Hound Of Dracula than this.
I'm serious. This movie is misogynistic, not the people who hate it.
Every female character is badly written but Erin is the worse offender. The way she acts around Kevin is a male power fantasy about smart women acting stupid around men. No, a woman with half the IQ of Erin would say to Kevin after 30 seconds, "Look, you're cute, but you're so stupid you're obviously the product of inbreeding. Get out."
And those of you who keep claiming there's no fat jokes? Yes they are! Like the misogyny they're subtle but they ARE there. All those moments with Abby and soup? The bit about the sandwich, her picking off others' food, and low blood sugar? Abby only being able to come up with soup as a good thing in the world? Those are ALL fat jokes. Cause "Oh, well, she's fat so she should be obsessed with food." Haha, very funny. Look, I'm fat, I know a fat joke when I hear one.
The only saving grace of this movie is Leslie Jones. She deserves so much better. I want to see her in a horror-action flick where she's killing vampires or Lovecraft's Elder Gods. Cause she's amazing and I love her. But even she can't save this dreck.
Still miles better than the Star Trek reboots though. Or as I call them, Star Wreck.
Every female character is badly written but Erin is the worse offender. The way she acts around Kevin is a male power fantasy about smart women acting stupid around men. No, a woman with half the IQ of Erin would say to Kevin after 30 seconds, "Look, you're cute, but you're so stupid you're obviously the product of inbreeding. Get out."
And those of you who keep claiming there's no fat jokes? Yes they are! Like the misogyny they're subtle but they ARE there. All those moments with Abby and soup? The bit about the sandwich, her picking off others' food, and low blood sugar? Abby only being able to come up with soup as a good thing in the world? Those are ALL fat jokes. Cause "Oh, well, she's fat so she should be obsessed with food." Haha, very funny. Look, I'm fat, I know a fat joke when I hear one.
The only saving grace of this movie is Leslie Jones. She deserves so much better. I want to see her in a horror-action flick where she's killing vampires or Lovecraft's Elder Gods. Cause she's amazing and I love her. But even she can't save this dreck.
Still miles better than the Star Trek reboots though. Or as I call them, Star Wreck.