nshaw

IMDb member since December 2004
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    19 years

Reviews

Paranormal Activity
(2007)

Best horror film I've seen in years.
The film does a good job of using the reactions of the characters and subtle cues to imply activities are taking place without relying on CGI or other features modern viewers are accustomed to. However, the subtle nature of the film will turn off viewers who were expecting a mindless tour de force of gore and shock. The demon in the film is made more believable due to the fact that its existence is implied through what first appears to be common phenomena.

The only flaw in the film is that a contrived and out-of-place ending was forced upon the director by influences in Hollywood who were threatening to can the film permanently. I am not mentioning what the ending is, so this is not a spoiler. So, if you notice the end was a little silly, you are not alone. Hopefully, the DVD will contain the movie as it was intended by its director.

The Fourth Kind
(2009)

What a joke.
The Fourth Kind is simply an awful movie. It is not entertaining or frightening. It does, however, manage to insult the intelligence of the viewer with terrible acting, a weak plot, and a ridiculous premise. The ridiculous premise is made more ridiculous by the film's disingenuous suggestion that it is based on true events (which it is not).

It contains footage of a pseudo-documentary, which insults the intelligence of the viewer, by simply having different actors play the same characters during the fake documentary. The premise that there were an unusually high number of disappearances in Nome, Alaska is simply not true. The "fact" that there has been an unusual amount of FBI visits to Nome overlooks the fact that (1) criminals often flea to remote areas of Alaska to escape the authorities and (2) there is a lot of pot being grown up there in the summer time due to the seclusion and cover the forests provide from the government. Its also a great place to hide meth labs. So, yes, the Feds visit Nome quite a bit, and its not because of aliens! The film tries to use subtle imagery and a slow build up of tension to create an atmosphere or intrigue and fear, but it is so poorly conceived and directed that it just comes off forced and ridiculous.

Eragon
(2006)

John Malkovich is trapped in a castle forced to act in a B movie.
This movie was all about special effects. It might be worth seeing just to watch the dragon fly around, but the rest of the movie spoils even that.

It has a weak plot that any 12 year old with thirty minutes could have written. It sports a cast of A list actors that deliver F list performances.

The character development, phony brit accents, and hammy over-acting is simply appalling.

How on Earth did they get John Malkovich in this movie? Did the director kidnap his family? Did they blackmail him? Did he lose a bet?

Snakes on a Plane
(2006)

I want a sequel NOW.
This was an excellent movie. The plot was completely stupid and implausible: there was actually a part in this movie where the snakes deliberately cut the power on the air plane.

All of the idiotic impossible things in this movie actually made it more fun to watch. Seeing Sam Jackson swearing at these computer generated snakes and then blowing them away was hilarious. There was also a very nearly X-Rated sex seen with a very well endowed young woman. I imagine many will buy the DVD just for that seen alone.

I'm just wondering how they are going to make a sequel and what if would be called. Snakes on Plane 2: The Revenge of the Cobra? Snakes on a Space Shuttle?

Daredevil
(2003)

Great Fun. True to Frank Miller's vision.
This was a great comic book hero movie, probably the best comic to film adaption of them all. It had good acting, wonderful casting, and it was well written and directed. It also had some great music in it.

I read the Frank Miller Daredevil comics growing up as a kid, and was very pleased that this movie was true to his interpretation of the character and setting. I was amazed at the amount of detail from the comic that the movie managed to keep. All of the major characters were there and true to form. Best of all, it manages to keep a serious tone and it doesn't get campy or silly.

Many people didn't like this movie because of things they view as inconsistencies such as the King Pin being black. That is really sad. This is a wonderful movie.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
(2002)

Still disappointing.
After seeing some of the silly changes made to the Star Wars trilogy in the Special Edition, I knew that that the Phantom Menace was going to be seriously inferior to the original trilogy and that Lucas had lost his vision and was merely looking to tinker with the new special effects technology at his disposal. The exact same things can be said for the second of his prequels, the Attack of the Clones.

I was somewhat pleasantly surprised with the film. It was a significant improvement from the Phantom Menace and much of the unbearable silliness was absent from this one. It had something that passed for a plot and a few interesting characters.

However, this film did suffer from the same problems as Phantom Menace, though to a lesser degree in some areas. First, the acting was marginal and the dialogue terrible although not as silly as in Phantom. Next, the special effects were too squeaky-clean and pastel-like to be believable. Nothing had that "lived-in" look from the original trilogy. Finally, the story doesn't mesh with the original trilogy and there are too many gaping plot holes and connections made between characters in these films and the characters in the old ones to be believable.

This was a roughly hour and a half long advertisement for Star Wars action figures. If you go into this movie wanting to see anything but that you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
(1999)

Disappointing.
After seeing some of the silly changes made to the Star Wars trilogy in the Special Edition, I knew that this movie was going to be seriously inferior to the original trilogy and that Lucas had lost his vision and was merely looking to tinker with the new special effects technology at his disposal.

However, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised with the film. It wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be. It had something that passed for a plot and a few interesting characters.

The problems with the film really stuck out. First, the acting was marginal and the dialogue terrible and silly. Next, the special effects were too squeaky-clean and pastel-like to be believable. Nothing had that "lived-in" look from the original trilogy. Finally, the story doesn't mesh with the original trilogy and there are too many gaping plot holes and connections made between characters in these films and the characters in the old ones to be believable.

This was a roughly hour and a half long advertisement for Star Wars action figures. If you go into this movie wanting to see anything but that you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Star Wars
(1977)

Greatest Light-hearted Sci-Fi Flick Of Them All.
This movie was the the greatest light-hearted sci-fi flick of them all. It had an original plot, good acting, great casting, and it was just extremely fun to watch.

The special effects of this film (in its original form) still stand up to this day despite the antiquated technology used to create them.

The best thing about it was that the scenery and characters all seemed "lived-in" and "believable" as though although they didn't exist here on our world, they did exist somewhere. This is in stark contrast to the newer Star Wars prequals where the scenery and aliens are so colorful, squeaky clean and pastel-like that they actually look completely fake and you know that what you are looking at was cooked up on a computer.

And last but not least, the most memorable screen villain of all time, Darth Vader, who spawned at least a hundred knock-offs. To this day villains in films often borrow from ol' Darth.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
(2005)

Not as terrible as the other prequals.
About the only thing memorable from the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones was the special effects. Though they were probably decent enough movies, they were so far inferior to the original trilogy in terms of plot and originality that they were extremely disappointing.

Now this last prequel, while it has the same gaping plot holes and silliness we have come to expect from the newer films, actually has a decent plot to it and some fairly captivating action sequences.

It still falls short of the original trilogy in terms of story telling and originality, but it is actually an entertaining movie. Worth seeing at the theatre or renting. Not worth buying the DVD in my opinion.

Hard Rock Zombies
(1984)

This movie is a travesty to both 80's hard rock and zombie movies.
I was given this film on DVD as a present by a friend. Giving this movie a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 is not fair. Negative numbers should be possible.

Granted, its so terrible that its slightly funny (like when and old woman turns out to be Hitler in disguise), for the most part this movie was simply terrible.

You have to suffer through an entire sequence of these Bon Jovi looking idiots dancing around to music that is more like really bad disco/elevator music. I like 80's cheese metal. There was none in this movie.

It is the single least convincing zombie movie ever made. The production values and special effects of this movie amounted to effects that you can make yourself (even if you are mentally retarded and can only use your feet). The zombies simply look like people with flour dashed on them and lots of mascara.

Most real bad movies at least have something that passes for a plot. Not this one. It was just several scenes put together with more "zombies" (people with flour sprinkled on them) at the end than that at the beginning.

I dunno. Maybe I should have been high when I watched this. I just felt like an hour of my life was wasted on something that was so terrible you could not even laugh at it. It was like watching a car accident, but a car accident at least has really good special effects.

The CIA ought to use this movie to interrogate terrorists.

Il mondo di Yor
(1983)

Conspiracy at Academy Awards
This was the greatest science fiction film ever made. It had everything from half naked cave women (who look like strippers) to giant dinosaur puppets that our hero, the brain damaged surfer, must battle to save the planet (only to set off an atomic bomb accidentally at the end of the movie).

Star Wars won an academy award for special effects and it only had 1 Darth Vader. Well, this movie has like 50. You know it was a conspiracy at the academy awards. This movie should have cleaned house.

If you haven't seen this movie that is almost as bad as being a virgin. You have really missed something wonderful and unique that all human beings should experience.

If everyone watched this movie there would be no famine or war, and the ozone layer would grow back.

Ocean's Twelve
(2004)

Pretend Oceans 12 never existed
This movie was disappointing. It started off well enough but about a third of the way into the film, it was as if the script had been written by someone different. Like a brain dead actor. The plot quickly became silly and convoluted. The plausiblity of the events that were taking place just got weaker and more ridiculous as the film continued. Did the actors change the script or something? This really was a disaster. Don't rent or this. Its crap.

This doesn't compare with Oceans 11. The characters aren't even all that true to form in this film, but rather cartoonish caricatures of who they were in the first. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

Finding Nemo
(2003)

Review of "Finding Nemo"
You know in the real events that the real life story that "Finding Nemo" was based upon, Nemo was put in the garbage disposal in the sink at the dentists office (after some of the other fish in the aquarium contracted fin rot from him and died) and his father was eaten by the pelican.

Disney always has to give perfectly acceptable stories with a moral to them these ridiculous happy endings which are not healthy for children to watch because they give them false expectations of life.

Let kids get to know the truth for once, Disney!!! Another complaint is that I did not see a Pink Snapper in this hole movie. What a disappointment. Its my favorite dish.

The Grudge
(2004)

Superb movie don't listen to the moron critics.
The reason people say that this movie isn't scary is simple.

Have you ever seen a really good scary movie or sad movie with an 11 year old boy and watched the boy in the theatre and seen him cry and get emotionally shaken up? Then after you are out of the movie he says it was stupid and that he wasn't frightened or sad at all. That is what these guys on here are doing. Intellectually, that is where they are at. Just look at their grammar.

When people who are immature are disturbed by something they try to distance themselves from it and play it down. They think that by saying that it is silly that it won't scare them as much.

This was one of the most excellent horror movies ever made. The plot is well written and has the feeling of credibility to it. The characters in the movie and their motives are believable. The special effects are effective but not overdone or "Hollywood".

It will be a real shame if people miss out on this movie because it was so effective at scaring the pi$$ out of people that some people can't deal with it and have to try to cut the movie down.

This one was better than the Excorcist and Amityville Horror put together. Don't listen to the moron critics.

The Ring
(2002)

This movie was ridiculous.
This was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen, right next to the Blair Witch. Basically, this is the premise: A bunch of teenagers watch what looks to be a Marylin Manson or Nine Inch Nails music video on a VHS tape they find in a motel in the woods. Then they get phone calls from a ghost who politely tells them they will die in 7 days (gives them time to buy life insurance policies, I suppose). Then in seven days an 11 year girl crawls out of their TV sets and beats the snot out of them. I'm serious, it really is that stupid.

Eventually, the protagonist of the story decides to copy the tape thus allaying her own demise at the hands of the vengeful cathode ray tube spector. That is right, everybody who has seen it has to copy the tape to avoid having a little girl climb out of their TV and beat the crap out of them. There were many elements blatantly stolen from other movies (such as the sixth sense). In all fairness, the production values and special effects were pretty good and there were a few choice gory scenes. But for the most part this was an immensely stupid movie that scared no one.

Wait for this one to come out on cable TV or borrow it from someone who has the DVD. DO NOT PAY TO SEE IT. IT IS NOT WORTH PAYING FOR.

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