prometheus99

IMDb member since February 2005
    Lifetime Total
    5+
    IMDb Member
    14 years

Reviews

Hole in the Wall
(2008)

Reality TV at its cheapest and worst.
I can see why FOX keeps this crap on the air. The advertising revenue must surely be much more than the cheap set, cheap host, cheap audience.

The premise is stupid: People must position themselves in such a way as to get through a hole in a moving piece of Styrofoam. If they do, they win money.

Who watches this, I wonder? People bored and waiting for The Simpsons to start, I imagine. Still, this is an example of an increasingly creatively-bankrupt Television programming industry. I just hope they cancel it and put reruns back in its spot. I'd rather watch a rerun of any of Fox's animated programs.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
(2008)

Should have been called "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Suckage"
Bad flick. Really. The first part of the movie feels like an Indiana Jones movie because it revisited themes and visual cues from at least two of the films. After that, it gets dull. There's no sense of urgency with the plot, except that if they don't move fast enough, a very attractive Cate Blanchett will get them. The ending, which I won't spoil here, is ridiculous.

Plus, you've got Shia LaBeouf, who looks like he just walked out of a math class, playing this 50s style greaser. He doesn't look nor sound the part, rather like some discarded extra from The Outsiders, meant to remind people of the era the film takes place in.

I'm not going to say that Lucas and Spielburg have dumped all over our childhood memories, because they haven't; I've got the three good Indy films in my collection and if I feel like watching a solid film, I'll sit down to Raiders.

This movie is merely a cash cow; and what a cash cow it will be.

So, to conclude, I would wait until it's on video and rent it, and not see it at the theatre. It's still better than The Mummy Returns.

Superhero Movie
(2008)

Was actually decent!
I really liked this one. I wasn't expecting much, being worn out on spoof movies lately because of the layer of crap that's been dropped on us, the movie-going public. "Epic Movie","Date Movie","Meet the Spartans" all sucked.

That being said, the people who made this, made the latter-day Zucker- styled comedies(a la Airplane, The Naked Gun) Scary Movie 3 & 4, and not those other "Movie" movies (which are the domain of Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer).

There were parts of this movie where I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. And that happens SO rarely with comedies lately. Seriously, I laughed hard.

But, it was one of those things that will entertain but never be a classic you'd bother watching again. It was a bit forgettable in that way.

Eureka
(2006)

Derivative and Simplistic Science Fiction
I've watched this show on several occasions to attempt to give it a chance, but each time, the episode has been based on repeatedly recycled material, but they add a little romance and some teen angst to give it a little flavour.

It seems that once a week, the town is nearly destroyed. The simpleton, Jack Carter, is the one who manages to put it together because everyone else, despite their brilliance, is seemingly unable to solve problems outside their field of science, except a couple of the science characters who happen to be experts in everything and are able to spoon-feed the audience some tech-babble and advance the plot.

The show epitomizes cheap Canadian TV. It's a US production, to be sure, but filmed here and it involves cheap props, cheap special effects, and cheap writing.

It's only given such praise, in my opinion, is because it's one of the few science fiction shows on TV at the moment. The appropriate quote would be that in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Jackass Number Two
(2006)

A sad indictment of our flagging culture.
I had the 'pleasure' of seeing this movie tonight and am appalled.

The movie, if it can be called that, is an unconnected series of sketches designed either to be disgusting or stupid.

Now, I am no prude. I like low-brow humour. But somehow this seems to lower the bar. The film was truly disgusting, with things that I now wish I've never seen. These 'artists' seem to be out to either cripple or kill themselves with their stunts, and many of the feces/sex 'jokes' of the movie are just so disgusting, I can't believe it.

I would never want to see this again and I recommend it to no one. If you seem to be compelled to watch this horror-show that passes for a film, do yourself a favour: Pick up a book. Enrich your mind rather than fall prey to the stupidity of this crass, tasteless exercise in film.

Flyboys
(2006)

Popcorn fare - Nothing to get excited about.
This movie was okay.

It wasn't incredible. It was light fare, like Star Wars meets WW1. The planes had unreasonably impossible maneuvers, the CGI artists frequently forgot to move rudders on the planes so they were almost static models, and there were inaccuracies in the types of aircraft and their markings.

That aside, it was 2 hours of decent entertainment, which was fairly family friendly. And Jennifer Decker is an unbelievably attractive woman. James Franco had that "you kicked me" expression on his face the entire movie(just like in Spider-Man), and I'm convinced that he's a terrible actor who only gets work because women swoon over him.

Land of the Dead
(2005)

Lacklustre with some funny lines
I was not terribly impressed. While there were some definite scares, this was a wholly unoriginal film. Simon Baker is acceptable (kind of like a cheap Mark Wahlberg), and Asia Argento is a babe but she doesn't really convey tough. Dennis Hopper was quite funny, and his performance wasn't wild and over-the-top.

The special effects were fine, especially for such a limited budget.

And the social commentary that everyone talks about when discussing Romero zombie movies? CLUNK. Not very subtle.

And a side-note: It's pretty funny to see Toronto, the city where this was filmed, so clean, with very little garbage on the streets. Considering in real life it's dingy, why is it so clean after a zombie apocalypse?

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