raindead

You just need to see this as a poorly executed anti abortion propaganda and you will realize just how bad it really is. The main message of this movie is that even the sickest of persons can't commit an abortion. If you ask that's not a long way away from blowing up abortion clinics. So this guy wants to kill some poor girl but he has to convince her to do an abortion first. What a load of crap. And the worst part is that he has an convincing argument (bringing a child into a loveless environment), but that is supposed to be dismissed because he's a freak anyway. And the part with the bible pushers...first they throw this girl out just because she explains someone stole her money (that rule must be in the bible somewhere) and then on the end they are some sort of angel like deus ex machina delivering the killer from evil by harassing him on his front yard. Come on. Other downpoints include a very confusing scenario (and I don't mean in a good way)...so this guy is just some psycho why? Because his mother fed his some liver once? And I don't know about the rest of you but he seemed like the nicest person in the world throughout the whole move! even though he was a wearing girlie clothes, stealing money and taping girls in his car. If you forget the idiot story, this movie has a really great cinematography and Bob Hoskins was really great, and it has one of those funny little English cars in it. If it was actually about some psycho killer I'd give it a 7 at least.

Well... it seems in the distant future...if you would like to travel to some distant place (not what you think, it's more like from new york to pariz or some of your business travels similar)...well the thing you do is... It's really easy actually!!! Just transfer your mind (soul etc. and whatever) to some body at the location you want to go and voila!...I really don't know what to say at this point on... let's just think about it a little. Even if all the public transportation at this point in time is practically nonexistent, and you would really have to travel to a business appointment just by foot and a boat across the ocean...and the only alternative would be switching a body with some other guy that was in a place that you want to go to (yes, *this* *is* the technology they have in that distant future...what happened to planes, tranes and automobiles? I'm guessing it's the lobbyists again...). But you'd do everything for business right? Yes! I'd even switch a body with another GUY (I'm a guy as well, remember?) and I'd walk around in this GUY's body and even had sex (at least it's with a woman, (but who knows, she wasn't in her body as well) (no offense to you gay people)). Well plots like this really get you thinking: were these guys just idiots? or is this some... I don't even want to talk about it. Would you really just switch bodies with some dude so you would save yourself from a couple of hours of travel? You might change it with a chick so you could touch some boobies, but what would she be doing with your body??? Unless she's a lesbian or you're up to anything... I really can't see how anyone could make this kind of movie and not call it pron.

I kinda enjoyed these things until I started to dabble in in those things myself. The thing is: television makes stuff a lot more real than it really is. And it makes me sick that Blaine is trying to sell all this stuff as real magic. All that spiritual stuff and people saying wow this guy is a *real* magician. And standing for three days surrounded by some ice blocks. Even an idiot should know it doesn't really make a difference if you're standing in the middle of the street or inside some blocks of ice. But Blaine got some serious frost bites and couldn't walk for weeks. Maybe that's the real magic. That was the contrivance in the previous "piece of work" from that guy. What's really interesting in this particular one is Blaine going to Haiti and to some tribes in the rainforest of wherever. This old lady, after she's been shown the trick, makes a reference "you must be really smart". The children mostly seem to know what's going on. You would think those people would be the first ones to be fooled. But maybe this is just another one of the tricks. Back to the Blaine guy, it really makes me sick he's trying to pass these things as real, and the naiive audience on the streets (and even some famous people, they seem to get paid a lot) are just contributing to the whole scam. A lot of magicians these days use some "explanation other than trickery" so they at least look credible, but saying *all* this stuff is real, come on, jump on the wagon.

You know, I used to think that the reality shows, deep voice trailers, super heroes, 70's shows, emo chicks, pokeymen, horny pigs, spongebob square pants, toilet humour, geeks and gays were funny (I kinda liked the lesbians and the racism (you know, in a serious way)), but now that I've seen this show it really put me in a whole new perspective. I laughed so hard I nearly soiled my pants. Actually I did. With a whole load of rancid pile of feces crawling with maggots....whoops, whatever. I think there might also be some blood from the lungs (from laughing so hard) in there, or was it just parts of my intestines...anyways, I've just realized I should have toned down my review a little bit, but I'll just leave it because it was really coming from my heart and please don't take this the wrong way, man this is like the best parody of an parody of an parody of an parody that I've ever seen, truly, it makes itself funny just by mere existence. Genius.

I guess the people who don't watch the usual soap operas and talk shows watch this to make them feel better about themselves. While before mentioned get off on moral issues, this one deals with criminals, with the actual law, let's get back to this one a bit later... Here there seem to be no innocent victims. Just the iron fist of justice. I guess the appeal here is we have no classy lawyers to justify their actions. Get the scumbag, arrest and question him, possibly with some of the usual police methods. And most of them seem pretty justified. Maybe until some lawyer gets the case and makes the closing speech...something like: well this guy did all this and that, but do his actions justify all the police brutality? NO! This guy was a victim. And therefore you should not find him as guilty. Well the thing here is: we don't see any of this things. All in all this pretty much sums up what's the deal with these soap police series. Here we have some non plus ultra representatives of the law catching bad guys (some of them have gone over the edge, but hey! what the hell, they are dealing with some disturbed individuals!) putting them behind bars and making look themselves as the contributing individuals to society. Maybe my strongest argument would be: What if we would put the cases from Third Watch into the hand of some lawyers from the Practice. Maybe even what if we would put the cops themselves into the hands of some fancy lawyers. Maybe I got a little off the way, if you are still keeping up... here is the real message of this show: The people who take care of the bad guys are the greatest heroes of them all, it doesn't matter if they are just fighting against the consequences of the regime that is the cause of all these things. On the side note, the whole acting, directing. sometimes it just makes me laugh. But that is the least of the problems of this charade.

Don't worry, I got this one all figured out. If you liked rush hour and if you liked independence day then this one is for you. Yes, just grab in some popcorn and enjoy. If you are reading this for an in depth analysis, let's just first observe the themes in this piece of...ehmmm... cinema: (in the order of appearance)

1. a meteor falling into earth...wohooo, catastrophe, fire and brimstone! wait a minute!... not just yet. but there is a guy with a blow-up doll!

2. ahhh... the years of college, or is that high school, whatever, here we have a guy who is giving straight A's and he's even David Duchovny! This bit kinda bothered me because it was sort of unrealistic, but HEY, that's what the entertainment is here for.

3. Ahhh, and finally: The pinnacle of cinema: "The black guy" teaming up with the "The white guy". Only this time!!!... it's not some muscle kung-foo marine he's fighting with...it's....David Duchowny!!!! Just insert your usual list of clichés in here.

4. What else is left? Toilet humour and inappropriate sexual references? Well you have them!!! And that's the whole beauty of this film.

5. What!? We also have a generic Idiot to tie the whole plot together. No! there are three of them! Brilliant if you ask me!

6. OK, forget the product placement...

7. Yes, it's Independence Day. Just watch closely. I almost missed it myself.

I would say in the end this was not bad at all. Chill out kids. It's just fun. But if you're feeling kinda philosophical, put on some... hell I don't know (if forgot if I ws trying to be cynical or serious). I could have been a better parody if that what it was trying to be, or a better I don't know. All in all it has some rather noble humour in it if you know where to look for it. If not for anything else you should see it for that sexy Julianne Moore. I'm sorry I just didn't came up with a better closing, but it's true!