tomrunelian

IMDb member since May 2005
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    Poll Taker
    10x
    IMDb Member
    16 years

Reviews

Lost in Space
(2018)

Magnificent!
It's a reboot - and it's magnificent! Closing 50 ( three years away now) I often catch my self thinking "They sure don't make 'em like they used to" and "Things were better in the good ol' days" - which they' were not. The original series has it's charm, but it's horrendously outdated. I watch it with affection and respect because of my childhood admiration and love for the show, but the original ensemble can hardly be described as class actors - not even by a "Lost in Space"-fanatic as myself, and the special effects were mediocre even back in the 60's. To all you "reviewers" and "film critics" who gave this a 1 or 2 rating out of pure spite (which is rather childish) - get with the programme. It's 2018!!! Why watch the same storyline as you've been doing for the last 30 years on VHS and DVD? I welcome the the new "Lost in Space" as much as I welcomed "Star Trek Discovery". And I pray to God that there is a new version of "The Last Starfighter" in the makings. THAT would be something! Regards, Old Dog Who Learned New Tricks.

Powers
(2015)

Calista - the most annoying character ever
I've seen my share of annoying characters, but Calista in Powers is the worst of them all. And she is totally ruining an otherwise brilliant show for me.

Why? The character wasn't intentionally written to p**s people off, but it just does. I cringe every time she appears and I fight the urge to fast forward every time she opens her mouth to whine about whatever, but I brace myself just in case Calista says something important connected to the plot.

I am sure the actor portraying Calista, soon to be 30 years(!!!) old Olesya Rulin, thought this was a brilliant career move being mighty Sony Playstations first original and all, but grown ups playing teenagers NEVER works (unless you're Michael J Fox and the character is Marty McFly. HAIL!!!!).

We really can't blame the actor for working with what she was given, and if we follow the comic book story arc, there is no way around the character Calista Secor. Maybe the responsibility for this complete disaster should be equally shared between the casting department and the writers?

My verdict; The pleasure of watching personal favorite Sharlto Copley rule the show - and, YES he does - is eclipsed by the irritation of watching poor Olesya Rulin failing so royally in her attempt to be sweet 16 again.

Undead Apocalypse
(2012)

Hurts to watch...
Can someone PLEASE take me to the ER? I'm in serious need of medical attention. I'm lying on the floor, in a pool of my own vomit, gasping for air, lungs burning, floating in and out of consciousness, disoriented, no sense of smell, sweating, can't focus, lost all feeling in my legs, both arms are dead, my head hurts, my stomach is turning, mouth is dry, uncontrollable spams every five minutes, voice is gone - can't cry for help. Can someone please try to find me? I'm not sure how long I am going to last. I fear this could be my last moments. Coughing blood now and apparently suffering from acute blindness. Who knew? I mean - I had no idea. THAT THIS IS HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ANNOYED TO DEATH BY AMATEURS!

Zomblies
(2010)

What a pleasant surprise!
For Gods sake - somebody please throw some real money at these guys! The creators of "Zomblies" most definitely have the talent, the drive and the will, but seemingly no money. Cinematography, editing and sound are as you would expect from Hollywood professionals. Just imagine what Mr. Reynolds could've done and can do with a larger budget - with better sets, better props and better actors. Sam Raimi remade "The Evil Dead", George Miller remade "Mad Max" - David M. Reynolds more than deserves the opportunity to remake "Zomblies". Im my opinion this is greatness in the making. If I had a million euro I would invest in a sequel/remake without hesitation - but my current holdings wouldn't even cover the cost of sending an email. May this raw talent be showered with cash in the very, very near future.

The 6th Extinction
(2012)

Shame on you!
Shame on you John Vincent for writing, directing, producing and filming this piece of garbage. Shame on you Kevin Saari for "designing" the "costumes" to the worst film ever made. Shame on you Eric Jaan for make up effects a five year old could've done with play dough. Shame on you Matt Cash for "photographic special effects" so lame I feel embarrassed on your behalf. Shame on you Mahssa Rashidy, Eric Maurer, Michael Bugard, Eric Jaan (twice!!!) and Misty Mills for calling yourself actors and for participating in this astonishingly horrible and utterly failed attempt to make a movie. Not a single person with his/her name attached to this "film" should never ever be allowed on a movie set again - not even to empty the garbage cans. SHAME ON YOU!

Alien Opponent
(2010)

Well done!
I know what you're thinking. "Look at this a#%hole. He gave it a ten. Probably a relative of somebody in the crew, or some local who was cast as an extra". And I perfectly understand. IMDb is bursting at the seems with ÜBER-overwhelming reviews from cast, crew, extras and even producers in "disguise". You know the drill - "honest" opinions in all "objectivity" to increase the ratings.

But the answer is no. I have nothing to do with the making of this film...AT ALL! I simply loved this little gem - and gave it a ten for being "the little film that could".

The story is paper thin, the budget ultra low and the actors are light years away from even being in the vicinity of "mediocre". But still - these guys seem to really know what they're doing. The sound - both mix and editing - PRISTINE. Cinematography and film editing - FLAWLESS! The special effects - CGI, robotics and latex - EXCELLENT! To sum it up - the technical side is, surprisingly enough, grade A. How they pulled it off is beyond me.

What IS certain - the team behind this film LOVES making movies. Call me crazy (as you think I am anyway), but it seems that somebody actually cared and took pride in finishing this little project at the highest level possible with the means that were available. There's a "let's use the few dollars we have to make something really cool"-attitude here. You'll see what I mean, if you ever decide to rent this flick (and throw away your hard earned money). It's all in the details.

As for the story (paper thin...remember?), the creators elaborately underline from frame one that this is not to be taken seriously. Under ANY circumstance. This is MEANT to be over the top. Just sit back, enjoy the ride and the "what the f#%k???"-moments, which are plentiful.

This is probably the best 80 minutes I'll never get back. For sure.

Stormhouse
(2011)

10 out of 10 for originality!
This is is probably the best little indie horror flick to hit the screens or shelves or whatever in 2012. I have spent many a night in the company of small, low budget horror movies (which turned out to be utter crap) - just to see if that rare gem we all hope for when entering the unknown, would appear. In this case it did. I have NEVER EVER seen anything like this. You are simply compelled to see what happens next.

Let me throw this one at you:

An one eyed terrorist trying to break out of an underground military facility, carrying a wounded scientist with the help of a drop dead gorgeous psychic, while being chased by an escaped ghost - which is singing a french nursery rhyme and bouncing a basketball, while maiming, killing and possessing (and not necessarily in that order) the grunts stationed in the bunker?

Nope! I knew it. You've never seen anything like this either.

10 out of 10 for originality!

Zombie Apocalypse
(2011)

Freakin' loved it!
As others has pointed out, it IS a SYFY original - and we all know what that means, don't we? However, fans of the genre will have 90 quite amusing and entertaining minutes, despite the campy dialog, the goofs, the errors and the special FX my grandmother could've created on her sewing machine.

A classic "Getting from A to B without getting killed"-story with Ving Rhames as the lead - doing the best he can with a script that probably was used as toilet paper during the shoot.

I freakin' loved every every minute of this bull - hence the 10 from me!

Zombie Undead
(2010)

Utter piece of crap!
After 45 minutes of "Zombie Undead" I fell asleep. Woke up 10 minutes later, renamed it "Directors family & friends in extremely bad make up" - and didn't bother to rewind, as the 10 minutes of sleep probably saved me from further agony. I just wanted it to be over and forgotten as soon as possible - just as the careers of anyone who had anything to do with this "film". Listening to paint dry is more entertaining than this, having my left arm ripped right out of the socket is less painful than watching this, watching snails crawl across a piece of cabbage is more exciting than this, a fart in outer space has more impact than this, a deaf hamster with one eye and a wooden leg can act better than this...etc. etc...you get the general idea? Just stay away...

Six: The Mark Unleashed
(2004)

Bored to death!
I expected a "not-to-distant-in-the-future-sci-fi-thriller" - because that's what the label said - and with "big" names like Eric Roberts and Stephen Baldwin I thought it couldn't be half bad - even though my gut feeling told me to leave the DVD in the shelves.

We've all made mistakes like this in the 80's, right? When we rented films because of the extremely cool artwork and those totally misleading plot summaries.

But I have been taken by surprise by "small" flicks in the past (Hardware, Ghosts of Mars etc.) - and I decided to chance this one because; a) I love science fiction b) Eric Roberts and Stephen Baldwin have delivered good performances in major films in the past (before their careers fizzled).

As for Eric Roberts - max two minutes of screening time before he's taken out of some bar and shot in the street. And Stephen Baldwin? He's not even the main character - just a name to support the many weak unknowns desperately in need of acting classes and talent.

And what's with the berets? Without revealing too much - there's is a semi-Nazi core roaming around in black uniforms and berets - enforcing the words and laws of "the great leader" in this "futuristic" world. I've done my year of duty in the Norwegian army - and if I ever showed up for assignment with my beret looking like a melted frisbee - my sarge would've chewed me a new a..hole and sent me to detention. Why can't they EVER get this right? The film has a strong Christian theme - which I don't mind at all. I am sure there are those who loved this flick because of it. But why "lie" about it on the back of the cover and cheat sci-fi lovers like myself out of hard earned money? This movie is ALL talk and NO action - nothing ever happens. "Just say no".

DEFCON-4
(1985)

Bad.....worse.....worst!
How bad can a science fiction movie get? Fred Ray Olen - the master of shitty sci-fi flicks - would die of envy if he ever saw "Def-Con 4". This is by far the worst movie I've ever seen. Lousy effects, crappy story and BAAAAAAAAAAAD acting. Sometimes movies are so bad you sit there with that B-movie smirk - smiling because the flick stinks so much that it actually (and unintentionally) is funny. Here - I just wanted to rip my my own head off and feed to it to the smelly Golden retreiver next door - hoping that the furry menace would choke on my tortured eyeballs.

This is what the back of the DVD-cover says: Three astronauts return to Earth two months after a nuclear holocaust and find disease-crazed humans wandering through shanty towns constructed from the refuse of the previous civilization.

And your next question probably is: What the f..k!!! DVD-cover? Did you actually rent or buy this crap? Nope, got it for x-mas 2004 as a part of a 5 disc/10 movies boxed-set named "SCI-FI - 10 GREAT FILMS!".

Riiiiiiiight.....

Undead
(2003)

Surprise, surprise!
I had no expectations when I slipped the disc into the player. One hour and forty five minutes later I started breathing again. "Undead" is a hellishly inventive mix of horror and sci-fi - and the biggest cinematic surprise I've had all year. This is NOT "just another living dead movie". And thank God for that.

"The walking dead" is almost a worn out concept in the industry. Many have tried to copy the efforts of the master himself, George A. Romero, and failed royally in the attempt. But once in a while there comes along a flick that breathes new life into the genre. "Undead" is most definitely such a film.

Like Sam Raimi, the writer/producer/director of the "Evil Dead"-trilogy, the Spierig-brothers dares, yes DARES, to make over-the-top-fun of the genre - it's intentional - and that's why it works. The production looks expensive and the special effects are surprisingly flawless.

I won't spoil the experience for you by telling the plot - buy it, rent it - and get ready for a roller-coaster of a movie.

10 points from Norway!

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