sethn172
Lifetime Total
250+
Top Reviewer
IMDb Member
18 years
Reviews
High School Musical 2 (2007)
What was this channel THINKING??????
"Military Academy Drama Five" is another one of those excuses to not bring ANY of those good old classics back on the Disney scene again. I was so nervous when everywhere I went, no matter what I was seeing on TV, THIS is more important than anything else. Why? For these following reasons:
1. It's high school (important for Disney! :-( )
2. There are relationships (oh yeah, now THAT'S acceptable for little kids...NOT!!!!!)
3. There is a big, big kiss...
"Will it blend? That is the question." Blendtec (a Utah company, believe it or not!) founder Tom Dickson says this at the beginning of every episode of "Will It Blend?," the hot new show that is sweeping the internet nation. Using a home version of a Starbucks blender, he destroys everything he feels like destroying, such as an iPod, some golf balls, a garden rake handle, and he even whips up a nice, tall glass of Cochicken!!!!! (That's a 12-ounce can of Coke plus a whole chicken, cut in half.) My favorite episode is where he puts titanium golf balls in the blender, and when he turns it on, it seems like the balls wouldn't blend at all! You hear a funny noise instead! However, when the blender is turned up, the balls DO blend!!!!! Also funny is the one where he puts a Sony Handycam camcorder, brand new, out of the box, into a running blender while still recording (from a PC, of course). When Ray Hansen, the guy who runs the "Will It Blend?" website, takes the blended camcorder back to the store, the "B*st B*y" lady says, "Like it's not...that's not something we can return." Hilarious!!!!! But the most extreme episode is where Tom puts six Bic lighters into the blender and he "flicks the Bic button!!!!!" LOL!!!!! The best part is, "Will It Blend?" comes out of Utah, so there's no smut or devil-liking content in this show unlike two well-known (unfortunately) high school movies made in the same state (hint, hint!!!!!). Also great is when home users upload spoofs onto YouTube and usually either the jar or the blade breaks!!!!! ("No, it doesn't blend!!!!!") Oh, and did I mention: "(item) smoke. Don't breathe this!!!!!"
So why do I hate these two movies as well as almost anything else "New Disney" so much? For the kissing, the high schooling, and the devil-worshipping!!!!! I give this one star and that is being generous!!!!!
P.S. Two more things: I am glad that Disney is finally releasing "Golden Age" content on Bluray now ("Sleeping Beauty" is coming next fall), and if you want a decent Utah-made work where the money is funded for something better than demonic, endless Halloween-themed DCOMs (at least that's what my parents think), watch "Will It Blend?" from Blendtec (which I just mentioned above)!!!!!
1. It's high school (important for Disney! :-( )
2. There are relationships (oh yeah, now THAT'S acceptable for little kids...NOT!!!!!)
3. There is a big, big kiss...
"Will it blend? That is the question." Blendtec (a Utah company, believe it or not!) founder Tom Dickson says this at the beginning of every episode of "Will It Blend?," the hot new show that is sweeping the internet nation. Using a home version of a Starbucks blender, he destroys everything he feels like destroying, such as an iPod, some golf balls, a garden rake handle, and he even whips up a nice, tall glass of Cochicken!!!!! (That's a 12-ounce can of Coke plus a whole chicken, cut in half.) My favorite episode is where he puts titanium golf balls in the blender, and when he turns it on, it seems like the balls wouldn't blend at all! You hear a funny noise instead! However, when the blender is turned up, the balls DO blend!!!!! Also funny is the one where he puts a Sony Handycam camcorder, brand new, out of the box, into a running blender while still recording (from a PC, of course). When Ray Hansen, the guy who runs the "Will It Blend?" website, takes the blended camcorder back to the store, the "B*st B*y" lady says, "Like it's not...that's not something we can return." Hilarious!!!!! But the most extreme episode is where Tom puts six Bic lighters into the blender and he "flicks the Bic button!!!!!" LOL!!!!! The best part is, "Will It Blend?" comes out of Utah, so there's no smut or devil-liking content in this show unlike two well-known (unfortunately) high school movies made in the same state (hint, hint!!!!!). Also great is when home users upload spoofs onto YouTube and usually either the jar or the blade breaks!!!!! ("No, it doesn't blend!!!!!") Oh, and did I mention: "(item) smoke. Don't breathe this!!!!!"
So why do I hate these two movies as well as almost anything else "New Disney" so much? For the kissing, the high schooling, and the devil-worshipping!!!!! I give this one star and that is being generous!!!!!
P.S. Two more things: I am glad that Disney is finally releasing "Golden Age" content on Bluray now ("Sleeping Beauty" is coming next fall), and if you want a decent Utah-made work where the money is funded for something better than demonic, endless Halloween-themed DCOMs (at least that's what my parents think), watch "Will It Blend?" from Blendtec (which I just mentioned above)!!!!!
Epic Movie (2007)
Excellent!!!!!
Man, how many times in our lives do we come upon movies as big, as bold, and as powerful as this????? Why, not often, of course!!!!! Now that "Date Movie" is pretty much out of the Bottom 100 list for good (Thanks, folks, for your contributions!!!!!), we now have a similar movie, "Epic Movie," on the list.
I mean, why on earth would you hate this, huh????? I liked the part where the "Lord of the Rings" guy used the remote on that female jogger like in "Click!!!!!," and the same goes for "Superman" being so "powerful" he can stop a bullet!!!!! (WRONG!) The sheer cheesiness of this film makes this the greatest!!!!!
So stop complaining and start watching!!!!!
10/10
I mean, why on earth would you hate this, huh????? I liked the part where the "Lord of the Rings" guy used the remote on that female jogger like in "Click!!!!!," and the same goes for "Superman" being so "powerful" he can stop a bullet!!!!! (WRONG!) The sheer cheesiness of this film makes this the greatest!!!!!
So stop complaining and start watching!!!!!
10/10
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
An un-needed sequel for such a "bad" film!!!!!
Well, the first movie was really bad because it's not family friendly, and the next movie is - guess what - also bad and lame!!!!! I'm sure it's exciting, but c'mon!!!!! The "Bad Period" is enough for me as well as a bunch of other old school Disney fans, and like the last film, kids cannot watch this either!!!!! I'm shocked that there are PG-13 happy meals at Mickey D's; even late night talk show host David Letterman (who is such a huge fan of "Zorro") hates this too!!!!! Here's proof:
Top Ten Signs There's Something Terribly Wrong At McDonald's
10. Your order Filet-o-Fish and the cashier makes the sign of the cross
9. Lowest-priced item on the Dollar Menu is 80 bucks
8. Employees are warming buns in their pants
7. Iraq helped them prepare their 12,000-page nutritional information report
6. Everything is "McXpired"
5. One of your "French fries" is wearing a wedding ring
4. Hans Blix is snooping around the back with a Geiger counter
3. Seconds after you order the McNuggets, you hear frantic squawking from the kitchen
2. A new hamburger is introduced called "The McWidowmaker with Cheese"
1. Happy Meal toy: cigarettes
Other food jokes:
It seems like everybody's putting out MP3 devices these days. One caught Dave's eye the other day. It's the iHop. Dave holds up a miniature pancake with tiny earphones coming out. The iHop. It's just a little bit different from the iPod.
-Kraft Foods Dear Sirs: After much research, I've finally perfected a formula for aerosol cheese. Please reply if interested. Sincerely, A. Einstein
-Hershey Chocolate Company Dear sir: After sampling your new Milk Duds, I can honestly say, YOU are the genius, my friend. Sincerely, Albert.
Alan: "Tonight's top ten list is brought to you by the American Green Onions Council. Looking for the perfect way to add zing to your salads, salsas, and soups? Green onions!" (Alan takes a bite from his batch of scallions) "Mmmmmmm, tasty! Now back to you, Dave."
REJECTED FDA ITEMS
Dave has a buddy Larry who works for the Food and Drug Administration down in Washington DC. Every year, hundreds of food and drug items come across his desk that seek approval from the FDA. Some make the grade; most do not. Larry sends Dave some of the items that do not meet the FDA's approval.
1. If you've ever been an exhausted new parent wishing your baby would sleep more, you'll understand why the FDA put the kibosh on this one: It's Gerber's Red Bull.
2. Everyone agrees that recycling is a good idea, but the FDA had to draw the line at: Swanson's Frozen Leftovers."
3. It's a fact: America has a child obesity problem. There is good news, though, thanks to the government, kids won't be drinking: Heinz Gravy Juice Boxes
Dave takes a moment to revisit the topic that's been bothering him all day. When he read the article, he admits to being stunned. Everyone else thought . . . . "so?"
4. The FDA admitted there was no actual health or safety issue with this one --- they were simply creeped out by: Lamb-flavored Colgate.
5. The Agency's testers felt this product dangerously blurred the line between food and health and beauty aids: A-1 Steak Sauce and Conditioner
Dave throws out the Chunky-style Pepto-Bismol without ever reading the card.
6. You have to give the tobacco companies this much: They try hard. But the FDA gave an emphatic thumbs-down to: Skoal Macaroni and Chaw.
7. It seemed like a can't-fail idea: proved pain relief in a tasty new form. But the FDA quickly red-flagged this snack food: Honey-Roasted Tylenol.
8. Convenience foods are more popular than ever. But the FDA wisely decided that the trend had gone a step too far with this product: Pre-cooked spaghetti.
9. And finally, with so many bottled waters on the market, Poland Spring wanted a gimmick that would help them stand out from the crowd. But the FDA said, "Absolutely not" to: Poland Spring Water with Goldfish. Dave holds up a bottle of Poland Spring. An actual goldfish swims inside.
And that was our Rejected FDA Items.
REJECTED FDA ITEMS
1. Oscar Mayer Bologna playing cards the top slice was a 7 of Diamonds
2. NyQuil Dessert Topping Dave takes a scoop and enjoys
3. Paxil Ahoy! Cookies
4. "Iraq Denies That It's Butter" Spread
5. Kellogg's U-Make-Em Corn Flakes Dave opens the box and out comes powder and two ears of corn.
6. Gillette Mach Zero it's a razor without a blade head. This may have been my favorite. I was the only one.
7. Bayer's "Just Cotton" a bottle of cotton
8. Gerber's Chewing Tobacco the photo of the Gerber baby chewing on chaw was a hoot.
9. Saltine Cracker Shoe insert makes no sense
10. Box of Crest "Now with 75% Less" Dave opens and we find a toothpaste tube roller ¾ of the way up.
11. a bottle of Absolute Vodka with cigarette butts.
And that, once again, was our Rejected FDA Items.
Top Ten Signs There's Something Terribly Wrong At McDonald's
10. Your order Filet-o-Fish and the cashier makes the sign of the cross
9. Lowest-priced item on the Dollar Menu is 80 bucks
8. Employees are warming buns in their pants
7. Iraq helped them prepare their 12,000-page nutritional information report
6. Everything is "McXpired"
5. One of your "French fries" is wearing a wedding ring
4. Hans Blix is snooping around the back with a Geiger counter
3. Seconds after you order the McNuggets, you hear frantic squawking from the kitchen
2. A new hamburger is introduced called "The McWidowmaker with Cheese"
1. Happy Meal toy: cigarettes
Other food jokes:
It seems like everybody's putting out MP3 devices these days. One caught Dave's eye the other day. It's the iHop. Dave holds up a miniature pancake with tiny earphones coming out. The iHop. It's just a little bit different from the iPod.
-Kraft Foods Dear Sirs: After much research, I've finally perfected a formula for aerosol cheese. Please reply if interested. Sincerely, A. Einstein
-Hershey Chocolate Company Dear sir: After sampling your new Milk Duds, I can honestly say, YOU are the genius, my friend. Sincerely, Albert.
Alan: "Tonight's top ten list is brought to you by the American Green Onions Council. Looking for the perfect way to add zing to your salads, salsas, and soups? Green onions!" (Alan takes a bite from his batch of scallions) "Mmmmmmm, tasty! Now back to you, Dave."
REJECTED FDA ITEMS
Dave has a buddy Larry who works for the Food and Drug Administration down in Washington DC. Every year, hundreds of food and drug items come across his desk that seek approval from the FDA. Some make the grade; most do not. Larry sends Dave some of the items that do not meet the FDA's approval.
1. If you've ever been an exhausted new parent wishing your baby would sleep more, you'll understand why the FDA put the kibosh on this one: It's Gerber's Red Bull.
2. Everyone agrees that recycling is a good idea, but the FDA had to draw the line at: Swanson's Frozen Leftovers."
3. It's a fact: America has a child obesity problem. There is good news, though, thanks to the government, kids won't be drinking: Heinz Gravy Juice Boxes
Dave takes a moment to revisit the topic that's been bothering him all day. When he read the article, he admits to being stunned. Everyone else thought . . . . "so?"
4. The FDA admitted there was no actual health or safety issue with this one --- they were simply creeped out by: Lamb-flavored Colgate.
5. The Agency's testers felt this product dangerously blurred the line between food and health and beauty aids: A-1 Steak Sauce and Conditioner
Dave throws out the Chunky-style Pepto-Bismol without ever reading the card.
6. You have to give the tobacco companies this much: They try hard. But the FDA gave an emphatic thumbs-down to: Skoal Macaroni and Chaw.
7. It seemed like a can't-fail idea: proved pain relief in a tasty new form. But the FDA quickly red-flagged this snack food: Honey-Roasted Tylenol.
8. Convenience foods are more popular than ever. But the FDA wisely decided that the trend had gone a step too far with this product: Pre-cooked spaghetti.
9. And finally, with so many bottled waters on the market, Poland Spring wanted a gimmick that would help them stand out from the crowd. But the FDA said, "Absolutely not" to: Poland Spring Water with Goldfish. Dave holds up a bottle of Poland Spring. An actual goldfish swims inside.
And that was our Rejected FDA Items.
REJECTED FDA ITEMS
1. Oscar Mayer Bologna playing cards the top slice was a 7 of Diamonds
2. NyQuil Dessert Topping Dave takes a scoop and enjoys
3. Paxil Ahoy! Cookies
4. "Iraq Denies That It's Butter" Spread
5. Kellogg's U-Make-Em Corn Flakes Dave opens the box and out comes powder and two ears of corn.
6. Gillette Mach Zero it's a razor without a blade head. This may have been my favorite. I was the only one.
7. Bayer's "Just Cotton" a bottle of cotton
8. Gerber's Chewing Tobacco the photo of the Gerber baby chewing on chaw was a hoot.
9. Saltine Cracker Shoe insert makes no sense
10. Box of Crest "Now with 75% Less" Dave opens and we find a toothpaste tube roller ¾ of the way up.
11. a bottle of Absolute Vodka with cigarette butts.
And that, once again, was our Rejected FDA Items.
Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior (2006)
What the????? Disney Channel keeps getting worse and worse by the minute.....
I'm here again in your local shopping mall (of course, 'cause that's where the high school kids hang out!!!!!) to demonstrate how awful "BENDY POO: PROM COURIER" really is!!!!! To prove how bad this joke of a DCOM this is...
...we're going to take these four sumo wrestlers, and stuff them into this photo booth. How...cozy!!!!!
Hai! Huuuuuuuarrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh!!!!!
How awful is it????? It's so bad, Disney Channel flushes away its money, yet again, with those exciting yet determining 10-second promos, keeping the viewers wondering, "WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE ON?????" And then, suddenly, when it DOES come on, for one, this not only got a higher TV rating than usual, but this was only seen once!!!!! Oh, no!!!!! One time everyone!!!!! Plus, this movie is about high school and stuff, and believe me, I will NOT go any further with what else is in there.....
Say ch...smile!!!!! (SNAP!)
Avoid this one at all costs. 0/10
...we're going to take these four sumo wrestlers, and stuff them into this photo booth. How...cozy!!!!!
Hai! Huuuuuuuarrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh!!!!!
How awful is it????? It's so bad, Disney Channel flushes away its money, yet again, with those exciting yet determining 10-second promos, keeping the viewers wondering, "WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE ON?????" And then, suddenly, when it DOES come on, for one, this not only got a higher TV rating than usual, but this was only seen once!!!!! Oh, no!!!!! One time everyone!!!!! Plus, this movie is about high school and stuff, and believe me, I will NOT go any further with what else is in there.....
Say ch...smile!!!!! (SNAP!)
Avoid this one at all costs. 0/10
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)
Way 2 Go!!!!!
From the classic archives of the Old School Disney Channel comes to you "Pee-wee's Big Adventure," a fun and fantastic movie starring that grown kid-like adult living in his playhouse, Pee-Wee Herman!!!!! "HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!"
So he needs to get something for his bicycle as well as some joke stuff when suddenly... HIS BELOVED BICYCLE IS GONE!!!!! Shocked at how his life flashed before his eyes, he set off on, well, an exciting and unforgettable adventure that takes him everywhere! (And it all started with a phony fortune teller!!!!!)
And the lines were funny, too!!!!! Especially lines like "You know those 'Do Not Remove - Under Penalty of Law' tags on mattresses and stuff? Well, I'd rip them off!!!!!" and "Is there a basement in the Alamo?????" - those lines made it into my family's vocabulary in an instant and we laugh as we say these lines!!!!! LOL
I've seen this on the Old Disney Channel a lot in 1997 and 1998. If it weren't for the superiority this channel had (as well as ACTUALLY watching the channel), I would have never discovered this pot of gold!!!!!
10/10
So he needs to get something for his bicycle as well as some joke stuff when suddenly... HIS BELOVED BICYCLE IS GONE!!!!! Shocked at how his life flashed before his eyes, he set off on, well, an exciting and unforgettable adventure that takes him everywhere! (And it all started with a phony fortune teller!!!!!)
And the lines were funny, too!!!!! Especially lines like "You know those 'Do Not Remove - Under Penalty of Law' tags on mattresses and stuff? Well, I'd rip them off!!!!!" and "Is there a basement in the Alamo?????" - those lines made it into my family's vocabulary in an instant and we laugh as we say these lines!!!!! LOL
I've seen this on the Old Disney Channel a lot in 1997 and 1998. If it weren't for the superiority this channel had (as well as ACTUALLY watching the channel), I would have never discovered this pot of gold!!!!!
10/10
Nine to Five (1980)
The greatest!!!!!
Queen of all office-humor movies, here I come!!!!! "9 to 5" stars that lovable country lady Dolly Parton as she stars in this funny yet sweet office humor movie before we had crazy guys beat a printer with bats in a field or have an overweight guy take to a monitor with a keyboard.
Dolly Parton was the national treasure - she had flair, fun, great country music (especially the "9 to 5" theme song), and has more wardrobe than a Neiman Marcus and Sanger Harris combined!!!!! Also, I am writing this to tell you that the Old School Disney Channel showed this late one night (Feb-Mar 1995), which makes her "ANNA INDIANA" (ewwww!!!!!) appearance the second on the network.
If you like laughter in the office, then you better be watching this NOW!!!!! 10/10
Dolly Parton was the national treasure - she had flair, fun, great country music (especially the "9 to 5" theme song), and has more wardrobe than a Neiman Marcus and Sanger Harris combined!!!!! Also, I am writing this to tell you that the Old School Disney Channel showed this late one night (Feb-Mar 1995), which makes her "ANNA INDIANA" (ewwww!!!!!) appearance the second on the network.
If you like laughter in the office, then you better be watching this NOW!!!!! 10/10
Midnight Run (1988)
OMG that is such a thriller!!!!!
I'm writing this review because I have seen this, believe it or not, on the OLD Disney Channel back in early 1997 (we just got our cable for the first time ever!!!!!). Yes, an R-rated movie, on Disney Channel. But, it was heavily edited to a TV-PG, because that's how high ratings go on that station. Anyway.....
This film stars Robert De Niro and some other guy as they end up in a "Rush Hour"-like situation out in the middle of nowhere. The movie is so exciting from start to finish!!!!! I especially liked the fighting, the excitement, everything there is to this film. Heck, this would even blow "Lethal Weapon" out of the water!!!!! Does anybody remember seeing this on the old Disney Channel network when it was a pay station? If you can find my contacts, let me know and tell me what else you saw on the network as well!!!!! I wish they showed movies like this again!!!!!
Give this a 10 or you're an action-hater. LOL Bye!!!!!
This film stars Robert De Niro and some other guy as they end up in a "Rush Hour"-like situation out in the middle of nowhere. The movie is so exciting from start to finish!!!!! I especially liked the fighting, the excitement, everything there is to this film. Heck, this would even blow "Lethal Weapon" out of the water!!!!! Does anybody remember seeing this on the old Disney Channel network when it was a pay station? If you can find my contacts, let me know and tell me what else you saw on the network as well!!!!! I wish they showed movies like this again!!!!!
Give this a 10 or you're an action-hater. LOL Bye!!!!!
Sky High (2005)
Ugh! Bad movie, bad camera angles!!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am downtown in your nearest major city today to talk to you about yet another pile of dung dumped from the Disney company in this day and age called "Sky High!!!!!" It's the "Bad Period" movie of the future!!!!! To show you how awful this movie can be...
...We're going to take this elephant and shove it into this phone booth!!!!! MMM....SMASHING!!!!!
ugh!!!!
ugh!
ugh!!!!!!!!!
ufffff!!!!!
See????? This movie contains the usual recent Disney motifs of high school, cheerleading, relationships, violence, and dumb things, stuff I, my parents, my grandparents, my great- grandparents, my great-great-grandparents, and, of course, my great-great-great- grandparents were NEVER forced to endure!!!!!
What's that? (RIIING!!!!!) Get that for me, will you?????
LOL this stinks so much I give it 1/10
...We're going to take this elephant and shove it into this phone booth!!!!! MMM....SMASHING!!!!!
ugh!!!!
ugh!
ugh!!!!!!!!!
ufffff!!!!!
See????? This movie contains the usual recent Disney motifs of high school, cheerleading, relationships, violence, and dumb things, stuff I, my parents, my grandparents, my great- grandparents, my great-great-grandparents, and, of course, my great-great-great- grandparents were NEVER forced to endure!!!!!
What's that? (RIIING!!!!!) Get that for me, will you?????
LOL this stinks so much I give it 1/10
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Good...and bad.....
Well, I have to say, this movie was such an exciting experience!!!!! I rented this one stormy night on DVD and boy, this movie was so exciting!!!!! This movie, of course, is based on the theme park ride at Disneyland and Disney World. I liked all the action and stuff in there; it was awesome!!!!! I especially liked the bonus features, too: there were the bloopers ("Is that a plane?????" - Johnny Depp heard a small jet rocket by the ship), and of course, the excerpt from "Walt Disney Presents," which I actually remembered seeing on the old Disney Channel one night in 1998.
Buuuuuut, there is a problem. (OH NO!!!!! is right!!!!!)
This is a "BAD PERIOD" movie!!!!! That's right, for one, this movie totally changed the way we go to the parks now!!!!! The ride was changed to make it look like the movie now, and even worse, there are rumors that the Tom Sawyer ride at Disneyland will go away with - get this - a new ride based on this film!!!!! Plus, the worst part????? IT'S RATED PG-13!!!!! Yes, you heard right!!!!! A "Disney" movie, given such a controversial rating so that families can't see this or any other movie in this series because it's too scary!!!!! So basically, Disney now robs of its usual audience in the "Bad Period."
"PIRATE DVDS OF THE EAST: THE CURSE OF THE MPAA'S FOCUS" is a film that, while it appeals to us adults, JUST DOES NOT APPEAL TO CHILDREN!!!!! Bad idea! -1000000/10 for making a grown company cry!!!!!
Buuuuuut, there is a problem. (OH NO!!!!! is right!!!!!)
This is a "BAD PERIOD" movie!!!!! That's right, for one, this movie totally changed the way we go to the parks now!!!!! The ride was changed to make it look like the movie now, and even worse, there are rumors that the Tom Sawyer ride at Disneyland will go away with - get this - a new ride based on this film!!!!! Plus, the worst part????? IT'S RATED PG-13!!!!! Yes, you heard right!!!!! A "Disney" movie, given such a controversial rating so that families can't see this or any other movie in this series because it's too scary!!!!! So basically, Disney now robs of its usual audience in the "Bad Period."
"PIRATE DVDS OF THE EAST: THE CURSE OF THE MPAA'S FOCUS" is a film that, while it appeals to us adults, JUST DOES NOT APPEAL TO CHILDREN!!!!! Bad idea! -1000000/10 for making a grown company cry!!!!!
Unaccompanied Minors (2006)
This one's as super as "Santa with Muscles" and "The Santa Clause 3" combined!!!!!
If you are bored in the remaining days of the holiday season, then cancel all your plans and get the whole family (Mom, Dad, Uncle Frank, etc. LOL) out to the theaters this season for the feel- good family film of the season, "Unaccompanied Minors." It's about a whole bunch of kids who get stuck at an airport in, say, Nevada or something. To kill the time, these kids go "Home Alone" in the airport (in a nice, post-9/11 strict kind of way) and have fun!!!!! Their parents, however, get so worried over time!!!!!
While this is no "Home Alone," this film does have some elements which flashes viewers back in time with that other film. And why the low reviews????? We all know that "Santa with Muscles" is the bad holiday movie king!!!!!
"Unaccompanied Minors" is such a wonderful holiday film that will live on for generations. Merry Christmas from your friendly neighborhood Bottom 100 fans!!!!!
10 stars
While this is no "Home Alone," this film does have some elements which flashes viewers back in time with that other film. And why the low reviews????? We all know that "Santa with Muscles" is the bad holiday movie king!!!!!
"Unaccompanied Minors" is such a wonderful holiday film that will live on for generations. Merry Christmas from your friendly neighborhood Bottom 100 fans!!!!!
10 stars
Crossover (2006)
Basketball is fun!!!!!
I love to watch basketball on television, and so I got more excited that there was a basketball movie like this!!!!! It's called "Crossover," and guess who is in that movie????? Why, Wayne Brady, of course!!!!! I remember him doing all of those "Greatest Hits" and the "Evening News Sports" dealies from "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"!!!!! And now, he keeps his cool even further with this movie!!!!!
Everything about this movie is awesome - the imagery, the storyline, the cool basketball moves, and, of course, the hip-hop rappin' soundtrack!!!!! This is such an excellent film!!!!! If I were you, I would totally give this, "Kazaam," and "You Got Served" a ten!!!!! THAT is how much I loved this film.
10/10!!!!!
Everything about this movie is awesome - the imagery, the storyline, the cool basketball moves, and, of course, the hip-hop rappin' soundtrack!!!!! This is such an excellent film!!!!! If I were you, I would totally give this, "Kazaam," and "You Got Served" a ten!!!!! THAT is how much I loved this film.
10/10!!!!!
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj (2006)
Something that has "Taj" in the title is royal!!!!!
For decades, the folks at National Lampoon has entertained us grown people with some of the greatest comedy movies of all time; some of them being "Animal House," the four "Vacation" movies (those are the most famous), and of course, the two "Van Wilder" movies (this being one of them!!!!!)
This movie is great in all senses - this is the perfect college flick for anybody, whether you're all alone in your dorm room or if you are holding a frat party, "The Rise of Taj" will guarantee to make you laugh until your "sides hurt." Of course, one shouldn't be fooled by the title leading someone into thinking it's grand and all that, but it's still laughable!!!!!
Don't miss it.
10/10
This movie is great in all senses - this is the perfect college flick for anybody, whether you're all alone in your dorm room or if you are holding a frat party, "The Rise of Taj" will guarantee to make you laugh until your "sides hurt." Of course, one shouldn't be fooled by the title leading someone into thinking it's grand and all that, but it's still laughable!!!!!
Don't miss it.
10/10
Bottoms Up (2006)
Hey!!!!! Bottom's up, dudes!!!!! Hang ten...stars!!!!!
"Bottom's Up" is just like that "Anus Magillicutty" film us Bottom 100 junkies were force-fed earlier in the year. Why? I mean, first of all, both movies just showed up at #1 unexpectedly. And two, these movies are perfect for the careless!!!!!
So, because of this, let me say this: this movie is terrific!!!!! It's amazing; a true masterpiece. I mean, the movie is totally random and completely nonsensical!!!!! It has all the comedy, all the fun, everything!!!!!
I recommend this movie to anyone on my list. That is, the movie lovers' list!!!!! And for that, I give this a ten, too. Let's go. I had enough Bottom 100 movies of 2006 to review!!!!!
10 stars
So, because of this, let me say this: this movie is terrific!!!!! It's amazing; a true masterpiece. I mean, the movie is totally random and completely nonsensical!!!!! It has all the comedy, all the fun, everything!!!!!
I recommend this movie to anyone on my list. That is, the movie lovers' list!!!!! And for that, I give this a ten, too. Let's go. I had enough Bottom 100 movies of 2006 to review!!!!!
10 stars
The Country Bears (2002)
Oh, my entertainment lord, you have shown me the way, and it is "Thy Country Bears....."
In times of depression consisting of Disney being nothing but high school, cheerleading, relationships, and violence, there would be one movie that would take all of these troubles and SHOVE IT!!!!! out the window, bringing forth a light shining from a distance. Yes, it is that of "Thy Country Bears!!!!!"
This movie would belong in a category of some G-rated Disney movies that are somewhat intelligent in my book known as "Vacation Movies," because it's like being at a Disney park!!!!! Speaking of which, this movie is based on the Country Bear Jamboree from Frontierland at Disneyland and Walt Disney World!!!!! And so, this attraction is the ONLY good movie rendition of a Disney park attraction, removing all the sh...aving cream gunk that "PIRATE DVDS" and "HUNTED MOOSEMEN" leave behind.
So see if the bears can save the concert hall when you see the light with "Thy Country Bears!!!!!"
10/10
This movie would belong in a category of some G-rated Disney movies that are somewhat intelligent in my book known as "Vacation Movies," because it's like being at a Disney park!!!!! Speaking of which, this movie is based on the Country Bear Jamboree from Frontierland at Disneyland and Walt Disney World!!!!! And so, this attraction is the ONLY good movie rendition of a Disney park attraction, removing all the sh...aving cream gunk that "PIRATE DVDS" and "HUNTED MOOSEMEN" leave behind.
So see if the bears can save the concert hall when you see the light with "Thy Country Bears!!!!!"
10/10
My Little Pony: A Very Minty Christmas (2005)
Great Kid's Film!!!!!
Okay, I assume that guy who likes ponies told my Friend from the Island, other people, and myself to vote this a ten, so I'll do it!!!!!
"My Little Pony: Very Minty Christmas" is downright one of the greatest Christmas specials of all time!!!!! Not only is it very colorful, but extremely kid-friendly and nothing bad to find or switch off of in it!!!!! Nothing but pure holiday joy from start to finish. It ranks right up there with "Frosty" and "Charlie Brown" as well as they cheesy specials like "Santa with Muscles," "Star Wars Holiday Special," and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!!!!!" (Just kidding about the last three. LOL)
I invite you and your family into My Little Pony's stable to sit by the fire and watch "A Very Minty Christmas!!!!!" You'll laugh and smile!!!!!
10/10
"My Little Pony: Very Minty Christmas" is downright one of the greatest Christmas specials of all time!!!!! Not only is it very colorful, but extremely kid-friendly and nothing bad to find or switch off of in it!!!!! Nothing but pure holiday joy from start to finish. It ranks right up there with "Frosty" and "Charlie Brown" as well as they cheesy specials like "Santa with Muscles," "Star Wars Holiday Special," and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!!!!!" (Just kidding about the last three. LOL)
I invite you and your family into My Little Pony's stable to sit by the fire and watch "A Very Minty Christmas!!!!!" You'll laugh and smile!!!!!
10/10
Quest of the Delta Knights (1993)
ahhhhhhh!!!!! (pulling hair out of my head)
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT be fooled by the title or synopsis here.
"Quest of the Delta Knights" may seem like, "Hey, cool!!!!! This movie rocks!!!!!," but in reality, it's "HEY!!!!! THIS MOVIE STINKS!!!!! BLEECH!!!!!" I mean, this movie is nothing but chock full of mistakes, goofs, continuity errors, plot holes, etc. I mean, would anybody, and I repeat, ANYBODY actually like this movie!!!!! I won't!!!!!
Unless, of course, it's featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," as it was on episode #9.23. Mike and the Bots have done such a terrific job ripping this movie apart like a dog would rip apart a fancy $500 dress shoe, and the Minnesota-area participants that played the people in the Delta Knights Pancake Breakfast scene!!!!! That's amazing!!!!!
So, pick which version you want to watch. If I were you, I'd pick MST3K!!!!!
1/10
"Quest of the Delta Knights" may seem like, "Hey, cool!!!!! This movie rocks!!!!!," but in reality, it's "HEY!!!!! THIS MOVIE STINKS!!!!! BLEECH!!!!!" I mean, this movie is nothing but chock full of mistakes, goofs, continuity errors, plot holes, etc. I mean, would anybody, and I repeat, ANYBODY actually like this movie!!!!! I won't!!!!!
Unless, of course, it's featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," as it was on episode #9.23. Mike and the Bots have done such a terrific job ripping this movie apart like a dog would rip apart a fancy $500 dress shoe, and the Minnesota-area participants that played the people in the Delta Knights Pancake Breakfast scene!!!!! That's amazing!!!!!
So, pick which version you want to watch. If I were you, I'd pick MST3K!!!!!
1/10
The Creature Wasn't Nice (1981)
Shame, shame!!!!!
Why are y'all complaining so much on this under-rated...err...I mean over-rated flick????? This is middle-rated; meaning, not too dull or ugh!!!!! In plain English, it's excellent!!!!!
Four years before "Spaceballs" made us never look at science fiction the same way again, "The Creature Wasn't Nice" had done just that. While not as great as "Spaceballs" (storywise and, umm, character-name wise LOL), "TCWN" still made us laugh where no man has gone before; just about as funny as watching "Star Trek" bloopers!!!!! LOLOL Anyways, Leslie Nielsen of "Airplane!" fame was, as always, very funny, and he would make yet another bad sci-fi parody film like this years later ("2001: A Space Travesty").
While this movie may not be "Spaceballs" or "2001: AST," "TCWN" is still a very watchable and very funny comedy to enjoy.
10 stars
Four years before "Spaceballs" made us never look at science fiction the same way again, "The Creature Wasn't Nice" had done just that. While not as great as "Spaceballs" (storywise and, umm, character-name wise LOL), "TCWN" still made us laugh where no man has gone before; just about as funny as watching "Star Trek" bloopers!!!!! LOLOL Anyways, Leslie Nielsen of "Airplane!" fame was, as always, very funny, and he would make yet another bad sci-fi parody film like this years later ("2001: A Space Travesty").
While this movie may not be "Spaceballs" or "2001: AST," "TCWN" is still a very watchable and very funny comedy to enjoy.
10 stars
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell (1988)
Awful!!!!! Awful!!!!! Awful!!!!!
This movie is so bad, I feel like I want to hit myself for an hour, that's what!!!!! Sorry, but, that's just more intelligent than watching this train wreck!!!!!
This train wreck I'm referring to is called "Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hel...Heck!" This movie is just like that other bad movie "Cave Dwellers," both of which are just about the same in plots and quality. Luckily, the big brains over at "Mystery Science Theater 3000" decided to come to the rescue; taking these movies and making them watchable!!!!! Especially this movie!!!!! It's so awful, it's actually worth watching if you have the robots on the bottom of the screen yapping off about this film!!!!!
Stay away from this film, unless it's on MST 3000.
1/10
This train wreck I'm referring to is called "Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hel...Heck!" This movie is just like that other bad movie "Cave Dwellers," both of which are just about the same in plots and quality. Luckily, the big brains over at "Mystery Science Theater 3000" decided to come to the rescue; taking these movies and making them watchable!!!!! Especially this movie!!!!! It's so awful, it's actually worth watching if you have the robots on the bottom of the screen yapping off about this film!!!!!
Stay away from this film, unless it's on MST 3000.
1/10
Ghost Lake (2004)
A good horror film!!!!!
This is a horror film which is campy but good that reminds me of the recent vacation-gone- wrong movie "Turistas."
This movie is about, well, "Ghost Lake!!!!!" LOL So, basically, it's a lake that is, well, scary!!!!! That's pretty much what the movie is all about. Anyway, this movie is good because the imagery is terrific, the story flows quite perfectly, and the horror and action both keep the viewer at the edge of his/her/it's seat!!!!! Man, this flick is so great I could stick around for a second viewing, that's how great it is!!!!!
This movie is one of those that's "So Bad It's Good!!!!!" That means that, while it has its downs, it definitely has its ups!!!!! Go watch this terrific film right now!!!!!
10/10
This movie is about, well, "Ghost Lake!!!!!" LOL So, basically, it's a lake that is, well, scary!!!!! That's pretty much what the movie is all about. Anyway, this movie is good because the imagery is terrific, the story flows quite perfectly, and the horror and action both keep the viewer at the edge of his/her/it's seat!!!!! Man, this flick is so great I could stick around for a second viewing, that's how great it is!!!!!
This movie is one of those that's "So Bad It's Good!!!!!" That means that, while it has its downs, it definitely has its ups!!!!! Go watch this terrific film right now!!!!!
10/10
Turistas (2006)
Great holiday season flick!!!!! An important tool for travel agents to say, "Stay Away!!!!!"
WOW!!!!! I say, what a year this has been for cinema!!!!! We've seen the R rating make a HUGE comeback here, fueling out movies such as "V for Vendetta," "Snakes on a Plane," "Little Miss Sunshine," "BORAT," "Clerks II," plus loads more!!!!! And to the list of good R-rated movies, we can now add "Turistas," a very dark horror film, to the list!!!!!
Like "Crocodile," this movie is not only very exciting and scary; it also sort of follows the same plot line. I mean, both movies DO have young adults go on a nightmare vacation...and it turns out to be worse and worse!!!!! THIS makes for a very exciting movie. Also, about the travel agent thing I mentioned earlier, I do not know where this takes place (probably Mexico because Cancun is so popular and the title looks like a Spanish word for "tourists"), but I probably wouldn't recommend that place!!!!!
If MST3K were still around, this movie would definitely be on!!!!! Then I'd change this movie to a 1 out of 10!!!!! Good job, folks!!!!!
A masterpiece, 10 out of 10 stars.
Like "Crocodile," this movie is not only very exciting and scary; it also sort of follows the same plot line. I mean, both movies DO have young adults go on a nightmare vacation...and it turns out to be worse and worse!!!!! THIS makes for a very exciting movie. Also, about the travel agent thing I mentioned earlier, I do not know where this takes place (probably Mexico because Cancun is so popular and the title looks like a Spanish word for "tourists"), but I probably wouldn't recommend that place!!!!!
If MST3K were still around, this movie would definitely be on!!!!! Then I'd change this movie to a 1 out of 10!!!!! Good job, folks!!!!!
A masterpiece, 10 out of 10 stars.
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)
I'd rather watch the "Star Wars Holiday Special" than this!!!!!
"The Incredible Melting Man" is such a bad film, it was shown on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" just to show its camp and stuff!!!!! I mean, it's a movie with bad special effects, bad story, not- so-scary stuff going all around, psh, you'll NEVER get nightmares from this gosh-awful, jaw- dropping flick!!!!! Hey, this was 1977, and "Star Wars" and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" have both done a much better job than this!!!!!
So stay far, far, far, far, far, FAR AWAY from the original version and be close, close, close, close, close, REALLY CLOSE to the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" version if you want to see this without wasting your aspirin!!!!! LOL
1/10
Oh, and did I mention: This Stinks!!!!! (OK)
So stay far, far, far, far, far, FAR AWAY from the original version and be close, close, close, close, close, REALLY CLOSE to the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" version if you want to see this without wasting your aspirin!!!!! LOL
1/10
Oh, and did I mention: This Stinks!!!!! (OK)
Uchû Kaisokusen (1961)
Makes me want to stay on Earth!!!!!
"Invasion of the Neptune Men" is brought to us from the same people that have also brought us the good, but still bad and ugly sci-fi flick "Prince of Space" (Japan!!!!!). Both movies, as expected, are showcased on the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" program.
I mean, first of all, it's all in black and white. No one's gonna watch that!!!!! Second, it's all a bad story with all tripe and no plot, making Jack's flick a dull one!!!!! Third, the costumes and sets are all goofy; the people making "Star Trek" have done a better job here!!!!! And finally, it's on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," so if you've seen the uncut version at the theaters lately, you know you've been bored out of your mind!!!!!
Don't see the real version; see the MST3K one!
1 star
I mean, first of all, it's all in black and white. No one's gonna watch that!!!!! Second, it's all a bad story with all tripe and no plot, making Jack's flick a dull one!!!!! Third, the costumes and sets are all goofy; the people making "Star Trek" have done a better job here!!!!! And finally, it's on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," so if you've seen the uncut version at the theaters lately, you know you've been bored out of your mind!!!!!
Don't see the real version; see the MST3K one!
1 star
The Bat People (1974)
Bad film!!!!! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
"The Bat People" is a really bad film that deserved the MST3K treatment just as well like that other film "The Creeping Terror."
In it, we are in some sort of mountainous terrain full of bats. We see many things happen, like bats flying out and attacking and stuff, station wagon chases, mishaps at the emergency room, and much more! All this, plus the cheesy mediocrity of the 1970s (hey, think "Mitchell" here!), making "The Bat People" actually one of the very best of the last "Mystery Science Theater 3000" episodes made in the series! Moviewise, it's awful. It should be avoided like the plague, unless Tom Servo and Crow are watching with you.
"The Bat People" - more like "The Bad People!!!!!" LOL
1/10 of course!!!!!
In it, we are in some sort of mountainous terrain full of bats. We see many things happen, like bats flying out and attacking and stuff, station wagon chases, mishaps at the emergency room, and much more! All this, plus the cheesy mediocrity of the 1970s (hey, think "Mitchell" here!), making "The Bat People" actually one of the very best of the last "Mystery Science Theater 3000" episodes made in the series! Moviewise, it's awful. It should be avoided like the plague, unless Tom Servo and Crow are watching with you.
"The Bat People" - more like "The Bad People!!!!!" LOL
1/10 of course!!!!!
Orgy of the Dead (1965)
Naughty naughty!!!!!
If you are the one that is always afraid, offended, or hate horror and/or smut, then stay far away from this one!!!!! Despite its age, you still have to follow my rules, okay!!!!! But, however, since I am of age to enjoy such stuff, I'll maybe allow it for this review.
This movie is great because it didn't make it to MST3K due to its subject matter (it would likely have to be totally censored to allow it). It was still cheesy like that "Monster a-Go Go," however. The movie has everything movies have - action, comedy, smut, horror - all smashed together into one heaping load of fun!!!!!
Now I'll have to apologize for seeing this movie! And you'll have to, too, after seeing this and voting a "10" for it!!!!! Great fun!
10/10
This movie is great because it didn't make it to MST3K due to its subject matter (it would likely have to be totally censored to allow it). It was still cheesy like that "Monster a-Go Go," however. The movie has everything movies have - action, comedy, smut, horror - all smashed together into one heaping load of fun!!!!!
Now I'll have to apologize for seeing this movie! And you'll have to, too, after seeing this and voting a "10" for it!!!!! Great fun!
10/10
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
"Jaws 4, Part 2: The Second Revenge!!!!!"
"Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, the sharks are at it again!!!!!" - Political attack ad by 2006 winning Texas Republican governor candidate, Rick Perry (2000- present)
Yep. Just thinking about that (and "Jaws 4") makes me want to get in the mood for "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon," quite possibly the worst documentary ever made (right there with the non PBS/ BBC/National Geographic programs) and the funniest since the Weather Channel's "It Could Happen Tomorrow!!!!!" In it, it may seem like a boring old learning flick to you, but if you pay close attention, you'll see that it has many funny stuff, like a shark roaring loudly before bursting into guts!!!!! Oops, wrong film. But it's just like that film, almost!!!!!
I give this ten stars, and so should you!!!!!
Yep. Just thinking about that (and "Jaws 4") makes me want to get in the mood for "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon," quite possibly the worst documentary ever made (right there with the non PBS/ BBC/National Geographic programs) and the funniest since the Weather Channel's "It Could Happen Tomorrow!!!!!" In it, it may seem like a boring old learning flick to you, but if you pay close attention, you'll see that it has many funny stuff, like a shark roaring loudly before bursting into guts!!!!! Oops, wrong film. But it's just like that film, almost!!!!!
I give this ten stars, and so should you!!!!!