Popczanski

Turkish self advertisement. Not so much cats. Sad.

If you want to see here actual review, just skip it and keep scrolling for another one. There is another special case I want to talk about. People I know divided in their opinios oppositely, some consider this series as great, some as awfull. No grayscale here, only black and white. Trully unique case, social phenomenon.

I had many recommendations to this series from my friends. So, I asked my best friend did he already watched it. He replied positively and added: "It's one of the worst things". I've got to explain here. My friend likes almost everything, many movies he likes for me are the mess, he is not that categorical as I am, so if HE tell about something it is bad then there is really something wrong about it. Eventually I became so intrigued to watch it by myself (actually I thought if he don't like it, for sure I will).

So quick overall. Every single episode have that futile story, that feeling I am watching not a professional product but some kind of amateurish work like school project of nine year olds never leaved me. It was really hard for me to get to the last episode. Don't know why I accomplished this task, is it was a curosity or a hope next episode will be at least something worthy two stars or more, but all in vain. Everything is objectively bad. Even technically there is nothing special: cartoon episodes offers nothing fresh or interesting technique, 3d episodes graphically outdated - just look for Warcraft III's (which is more than 15 year old already) movie clips for example.

If short, you like original then you will like sequel.

Actually, it's roughly at the same, let's say, "phylosophical" level original is. It have great ambiance as original have, it have it's own distinct style,it's definitely new Bladerunner. That is it. No more, no less.

I would like to compare with new Ghost in the Shell and original one. Sequel is a parody (honestly to be said) to original with plot made for popcorn experience. New Bladerunner is not.

Deserves to watch? Definitely.

Hm, so let's look at this impartially, without regards to previous movies about you-know-his-name.

The most positive thing: it's not the worst movie ever. So, that's it.

Now about the bad. Story is that ordinary (literally you know what happens next if you have some experience in watching cheap action movies) like it was taken from a poor fanfic. Directing is lazy, acting is lazy, even composers was lazy to compose at least something worthy expensive movie. Scenes with hacks and other stuff is just hilarious. And on, and on.

Personally, I don't know what kind of people is the target audience. I can't recommend it at all. For fans of original movies it's a mess, for those who look for a great action it's too boring, for those who look for interesting plot it's also not recommended.

An attempt to shake out all the last coins from a dead man's pocket.

I decided to watch it only due to my curiosity because I lived my whole life in Smolensk (where action takes place).

It's normal, that fable should not be 100 % historically correct. But, not the way they did it, truth just turned inside out. And in the end there is storyteller voice that narrates future events like it all was complete truth. Unfortunately, can't give examples from story because it would be spoilers.

In the rest: they portray fortress like it looks now, not like it should look four centuries back (it indicates level of laziness and incompetence of creators); city is definitely not even close to what should looks like Smolensk that times. Second, instead of moving to reconciliation with polands, movie portrays Sigismund III, king of Polish–Lithuanian (Lithuanian. Hey, creators!) Commonwealth, like a retard. Shame. However, polands do such things too (for example, Katyn movie is a silly profanation. No, I don't try to deny war crimes of SU). It's just a pity, both russians and polands continue to do same stuff in order to make each other look like bad guys. Yes, I agree with fact propaganda is have to be, but it should be healthy, patriotic, not to breed hate amongst nations.

And the most sad thing this politic s*** pours out onto children heads.

Could be a great family movie, because visuals are quite good.

That is the case when really wanted to make art-house film, but got no idea how to. So, there is a very poor scenario on philosophical subjects as the result of horrific violence against the spinal cord (because brains are not suitable for such creativity). In order to make everything not so cheap it was flavored with allusions to the Bible, newspaper "The Sun" and boyscout reference. Mostly, poorly. As you begin to watch it looks good, and at some point I even thought it's really OK. Hah, not this time. Roughly after 40 minutes it starts to drive you into a wild longing, 'coz you clearly realize what they try to tell, but nothing more happens thereafter. Moreover, sometimes movie is revealing it inner meaning (for kids and slows I guess). Great idea for art movie (which it supposed to be). Nonsense, what else can I say...

First of all: you can ignore this review, dislike or do whatever you want. If you like to eat dung — go ahead, I don't give a single wikipedia (it and other sources of info was completely ignored by writers) or google images (that full of pictures made by rovers) about.

After Prometheus I though it was the real bottom of Ridley Scott. Now we've got even more awful movie The Martian. I've got a feeling Scott is pursuing objective to make the most terrible sci-fi movie. And challenge continues! Wait for sequel to sequel to Aliens, Alien: Paradise Lost.

P.S.: Even more there is a rip-off from Gravity in the end.

I wonder how it got 8 stars... No-no! I am not a fan and I've dispassionately checked "2" from combobox just because this movie is really awful. Why? OK. Here we go! Creating science fiction (SCIENCE!) movie has to be fantasy based on reality, not on unrestrained minds of writers or your 5-year old son. So, what we've got here? Story sucks and don't tell me it's OK, it's just... cant describe how bad it is. Ah, OK, not bad for five year old boy! Characters sucks. For example marines are defective imbeciles, not a soldiers. Screenplay is awful: cliché, cliché, cliché... omg, so many clichés (yes, I know it's '86). But it's OK for 80-90 minutes... It's 137 minutes long. "Daddy asked me to let you all know that the theatre is closing. We are all being sick!"

First I can't recommend to anybody to watch this movie outside of cinema (and better do it with pretty girl!) or if you have something similar at your home or if you have a pretty girl near (movie is boring, but she would be delight). Because all the good things in that movie are visual effects. Yes, I know movies shall make money while sacrificing realism and other stuff. In this case it's tooooooooooo much commercial, even by space measurements. If you are a kinda freak about all the things about space (like me) then you will find out this movie is a... waste of time. I will not be talking about all the mistakes this movie consists, when you are watching this movie you are like "Ha-ha, what a ...!" or "Unbelievable! What a silly man did came up with that?!" Seriously, there is even no story... What? Bunch of Russian retards strikes (what kind of weapon?) their satellite (WHY? AHAHA) and blablabla is not a story at all. Only that debris and various parts rushing towards your 3D glasses. Watch in cinema with girl, or do not watch. But don't forget about girl.