
Platypuschow
Joined Jan 2015
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Ratings16.8K
Platypuschow's rating
Reviews1.8K
Platypuschow's rating
Plot
A mondo film mainly focusing on Japanese sex shops, sex clubs and brothels.
Cast
Not familiar with anyone involved.
Verdict
I didn't like the first two Shocking Asia "Documentaries", why watch the third? I'm a completionist by nature plus I hoped after a decade they'd have improved! Did it, no it really didn't it just arguably got seedier.
You see one of my biggest gripes is that they're simply not documentaries, they're "Mondo" exploitation films focusing on the extremes of a continents cultures and making out this is common practise. The vast majority of people staring in awe have never been to asia and will get completely the wrong idea and hence why this is exploitation and exists for shock value alone.
Though the other two focused on multiple areas this one really does get seedy and looks almost exclusively at porn, the sex industry and adult themes as a whole. Therefore it feels less like a documentary and more like an adult film dressed up as something more.
Shocking Asia are very poor quite frankly offensive films that I refuse to call documentaries, they're outdated and absurd so the fact they flowed into the 90's is remarkable.
Rants
To be fair are there any documentaries these days that aren't exploitative in some form? Most are heavily bias and tell you what to think rather than presenting you with the full story. Left wing, right wing, peddling an agenda or simply propaganda and it's tiresome. A film like this has no agenda and just aims to shock so it's less offensive bafflingly. I miss documentaries, they barely exist anymore.
The Good
Has a couple of interesting moments
The Bad
Pure exploitation Not a documentary Shock value only.
A mondo film mainly focusing on Japanese sex shops, sex clubs and brothels.
Cast
Not familiar with anyone involved.
Verdict
I didn't like the first two Shocking Asia "Documentaries", why watch the third? I'm a completionist by nature plus I hoped after a decade they'd have improved! Did it, no it really didn't it just arguably got seedier.
You see one of my biggest gripes is that they're simply not documentaries, they're "Mondo" exploitation films focusing on the extremes of a continents cultures and making out this is common practise. The vast majority of people staring in awe have never been to asia and will get completely the wrong idea and hence why this is exploitation and exists for shock value alone.
Though the other two focused on multiple areas this one really does get seedy and looks almost exclusively at porn, the sex industry and adult themes as a whole. Therefore it feels less like a documentary and more like an adult film dressed up as something more.
Shocking Asia are very poor quite frankly offensive films that I refuse to call documentaries, they're outdated and absurd so the fact they flowed into the 90's is remarkable.
Rants
To be fair are there any documentaries these days that aren't exploitative in some form? Most are heavily bias and tell you what to think rather than presenting you with the full story. Left wing, right wing, peddling an agenda or simply propaganda and it's tiresome. A film like this has no agenda and just aims to shock so it's less offensive bafflingly. I miss documentaries, they barely exist anymore.
The Good
Has a couple of interesting moments
The Bad
Pure exploitation Not a documentary Shock value only.
Plot
A group of people with dodgy backgrounds wake up in a hotel infested with Dinosaurs and soon discover they must play the games to survive the night.
Cast
ITN regulars May Kelly and the consistently terrible Marcus Massey.
Verdict
And there we have it, I've finished the Dinosaur Hotel trilogy and please please please don't let there be a fourth film. My completionist nature will force me to watch it and I'm not sure I can endure another one.
So our movie shifts back to the Hotel in the first film, a bunch of randomers or as the premise hilariously says "A group of people with dodgy backgrounds" and face off with more offensively bad CGI dinosaurs. Has the CGI improved over the course of the three movies? Absolutely, is it still at Birdemic (2010) levels? Again, absolutely.
The dinosaurs are so absurdly ugly looking it prevents you ever getting into the film and taking it seriously, we had better CGI 30 years ago so there really is no excuse at all.
Our cast are a bunch of interchangeable cardboard cut outs, May is our leading lady and though she's proven competent in the past here she's intolerable and at no point due to the shoddy writing does she feel like the lead of the movie.
I just don't understand how there have been three of these and how the creators keep making the same mistakes! Awful awful stuff.
Rants
The Dinosaur Hotel movies are the embodiment of my philosophy that if you don't have the budget for something then don't! They didn't have the budget to make a movie featuring dinosaurs, so they should have made a zombie film, a thriller, a romantic comedy, something simple and cheap. Overeaching like this dooms a movie straight out of the gate, and ITN films already have enough to damage them without that as well.
The Good
Erm, sorry I'm drawing a blank
The Bad
Awful characters Dreadful writing Hideous CGI More of the same The lead isn't used like a lead.
A group of people with dodgy backgrounds wake up in a hotel infested with Dinosaurs and soon discover they must play the games to survive the night.
Cast
ITN regulars May Kelly and the consistently terrible Marcus Massey.
Verdict
And there we have it, I've finished the Dinosaur Hotel trilogy and please please please don't let there be a fourth film. My completionist nature will force me to watch it and I'm not sure I can endure another one.
So our movie shifts back to the Hotel in the first film, a bunch of randomers or as the premise hilariously says "A group of people with dodgy backgrounds" and face off with more offensively bad CGI dinosaurs. Has the CGI improved over the course of the three movies? Absolutely, is it still at Birdemic (2010) levels? Again, absolutely.
The dinosaurs are so absurdly ugly looking it prevents you ever getting into the film and taking it seriously, we had better CGI 30 years ago so there really is no excuse at all.
Our cast are a bunch of interchangeable cardboard cut outs, May is our leading lady and though she's proven competent in the past here she's intolerable and at no point due to the shoddy writing does she feel like the lead of the movie.
I just don't understand how there have been three of these and how the creators keep making the same mistakes! Awful awful stuff.
Rants
The Dinosaur Hotel movies are the embodiment of my philosophy that if you don't have the budget for something then don't! They didn't have the budget to make a movie featuring dinosaurs, so they should have made a zombie film, a thriller, a romantic comedy, something simple and cheap. Overeaching like this dooms a movie straight out of the gate, and ITN films already have enough to damage them without that as well.
The Good
Erm, sorry I'm drawing a blank
The Bad
Awful characters Dreadful writing Hideous CGI More of the same The lead isn't used like a lead.
Plot
Tom Nichols is a hardened New England detective, unflinching in his pursuit of a case where nothing is as it seems and it begins to dismantle the illusions in his own life.
Cast
Justin Timberlake, Benicio Del Toro and Alicia Silverstone, which to me is a dire cast.
Verdict
Reptile is a movie I'd have never given a chance had it not been the movie night pick of the missus. Seeing the cast I cringed, Timberlake has no place in the industry, Del Toro I believe to be very overrated and Silverstone hasn't been in a decent film in very very longtime and has become very much a straight to DVD C-movie actress who phones in her performances.
Reptile is a slow burning who-dunnit type mystery but the trouble with these types of films is it needs to involve you in the elimination detective process and of course needs to make you care. I didn't, the movie didn't grip me, at times it bored me, and as for the villain of the tale all I can say is if you don't figure it out for yourself within the first quarter of the film I'd be very surprised.
Slow, monotonous, lacking engagement and worst of all it's colour by numbers. It's so generic, it's so predictable, it plays it so incredibly safe and doesn't even try to be original at any point in its over 2hr run time!
Reptile isn't bad, it's just a carbon copy of a thousand other films, most better.
Rants
Who told Timberlake he could act? Then again who told him he was a singer? He's a talentless hack who made a career off the back of his appearance making girls tingle in their nether regions nothing more. He was part of a boy band which isn't music, he did a solo career full of generic industry auto-tuned "Songs" and as an actor he's not once proven he has what it takes.
The Good
Some passable supporting cast
The Bad
Very predictable Weak cast So generic it hurts.
Tom Nichols is a hardened New England detective, unflinching in his pursuit of a case where nothing is as it seems and it begins to dismantle the illusions in his own life.
Cast
Justin Timberlake, Benicio Del Toro and Alicia Silverstone, which to me is a dire cast.
Verdict
Reptile is a movie I'd have never given a chance had it not been the movie night pick of the missus. Seeing the cast I cringed, Timberlake has no place in the industry, Del Toro I believe to be very overrated and Silverstone hasn't been in a decent film in very very longtime and has become very much a straight to DVD C-movie actress who phones in her performances.
Reptile is a slow burning who-dunnit type mystery but the trouble with these types of films is it needs to involve you in the elimination detective process and of course needs to make you care. I didn't, the movie didn't grip me, at times it bored me, and as for the villain of the tale all I can say is if you don't figure it out for yourself within the first quarter of the film I'd be very surprised.
Slow, monotonous, lacking engagement and worst of all it's colour by numbers. It's so generic, it's so predictable, it plays it so incredibly safe and doesn't even try to be original at any point in its over 2hr run time!
Reptile isn't bad, it's just a carbon copy of a thousand other films, most better.
Rants
Who told Timberlake he could act? Then again who told him he was a singer? He's a talentless hack who made a career off the back of his appearance making girls tingle in their nether regions nothing more. He was part of a boy band which isn't music, he did a solo career full of generic industry auto-tuned "Songs" and as an actor he's not once proven he has what it takes.
The Good
Some passable supporting cast
The Bad
Very predictable Weak cast So generic it hurts.